Editor's Note: It's quite upsetting that I'm completely traumatised by this chapter and the thing that I'm completely traumatised by has no impact on the plot. Granted, the character's clothes affect the plot more than the characters themselves, but still. Read on and see.
AN: I said I don't care what you think! Stop flaming, okay preps? Fangs to Raven for the help! Oh yeah, by the way, I'll be on vacation in Transylvania for the next 3 days so don't expect any updates. (EN: What's the betting she went somewhere like California and didn't want to admit it because it's not 'goffic' enough?)
All day I wondered what the surprise was. Meanwhile, I put on a black leather mini, (EN: She seems to wear leather an awful lot, is it not really uncomfortable?) a black corset with purple lace all over it, and black Gothic combat boots. MCR were going to do the concert again, since Voldemort had taken over the last one. I slit my wrists while I moshed to MCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited. Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on some black clothes and moshing to 'Thank You for the Venom'. I got all mad and turned it off, but secretly I hoped inside that it was Draco so we could do it again. (EN: Before this sentence was edited, my first thought was you're in no condition to be having sex, Ebony! Your wrists are missing you've slit them so often, your guts are mad and you're sacredly hopping. That's how much I'm being affected by this story.)
"What the fucking hell are you doing!" I shouted angrily. It was Lupin! "Are you going to come rape me or what," I yelled. I was allowed to say that because Dumbledore had told us all to be careful around him and Snape since he was a paedophile. (EN: Last I checked, 'being careful' wasn't quite the same as yelling at them.)
"No, actually, can I please borrow some condoms," he growled angrily.
"Yeah, so you can fuck you're six-year-old girlfriend, huh?" I shouted sarcastically. (EN: Why does Ebony assume he has sex with six year olds? Is it because he video-taped her in the bathtub, or did she just decide one day?)
"Fucker," He said, going away.
Well anyway, I put on some black eye-shadow, black eye-liner, and some black lipstick and white foundation. Then I went. Then I gasped … Snape and Lupin were in the middle of the empty hall, doing it, and Dobby was watching! (EN: I can physically feel the last of my will to live shriveling up and dying. Soon I'll be as air-headed and 'deprezzed' as Ebony herself and Light will kick me out onto the street.)
"Oh my god, you ludicrous idiot!" they both shouted angrily when they saw me. (EN: I can't believe I'm saying this, but why is she the idiot? You're two teachers going it in the middle a school corridor.) Dobby ran away, crying. They got up, though. Normally I would have been turned on (I love seeing guys do it) but both of them were fucking preps. (By the way, Snape is moved to Gryffindor now)
"What the fuck is that? Is this why you wanted condoms?" I asked sadistically. (See I spelled that) (EN: Yes. Yes, you did. But despite the fact it makes about as much sense as anything in your story, I don't think it means what you think it does.)
"Only you wouldn't give them to me!" Lupin shouted angrily.
"Well you should have told me," I replied.
"You dimwit!" Snape began to shout angrily. And then … I took out my black camera and took a picture of them. You could see that they were naked and everything.
"Well excuse me!" they both shouted angrily. "What was that all about?"
"It was to blackmail you," I snarled. "So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you can't fucking rat me out or I'll show this to Dumbledore. So fuck off, you bastards!" I started to run. They chased me but I threw my wand at them and they tripped over it. (EN: Wouldn't it have been a little more effective to hex them or something. I surprised throwing your wand at the worked.) Well anyway, I went outside and there was Vampire, looking extremely fucking hot.
"What the fuck? Where's Draco?" I asked him.
"Oh, he's being a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn't come," Vampire said, shaking his head (EN: Draco finally shows a couple of brain cells and ditches her! Whip out the booze, people. It's going to be a celebration!). "You want to come with me? To the concert?"
Then he showed me his flying car. I gasped. (EN: Why is she so shocked? Draco has one, she's ridden in it.) It was a black car. He said his godfather Sirius Black had given it to him. The licence plate on the front said MCR666 on it. The one on the back said 'EBONY' on it.
I gasped. (EN: Christ, are you sure you don't have some sort of breathing problem. You should probably get that checked out, along with the crying tears of blood thing and the fact that you never run out of wrists to cut.)
We flew to the concert hall. MCR were there, playing.
Vampire and I began to make out, moshing to the music. (EN: Don't you have a boyfriend? And didn't you throw an absolute fit when you learned that he dated the boy you're making out with now before you got together? Hypocrisy isn't a nice trait, Ebony. You'd want to work on that.) I gasped, looking at the band.
I almost had an orgasm. Gerard was so fucking hot! (EN: That's not how orgasms work, honey.) He begin to sing 'Helena' and his sexy, beautiful voice began to fill the hall. And then, I heard some crying. I turned and saw Draco, crying in a corner. (EN: What's he doing crying in a corner? Didn't he do one intelligent thing in his life and ditch her?)