Editor's Note – Liv's making me pizza. Bitches love pizza.
-Light.
AN: Fuck you, ok?! You fucking suck. It's not my fault if it's spelled wrong, ok, because that bitch Raven was supposed to fix it. Fuck you preps! Whoops, sorry, Raven, fangs for the help. (EN- Uhh, I thought Raven was a bitch right now?) By the way, Transylvania rocks hard! (EN- And you would know how?) I even got to go to the castle where Dracula was filmed! (EN- Calling your bullshit.)
Later we all went into the school. Draco was crying in the common room. "Draco, are you okay?" I asked in a gothic voice. (EN- How does one talk in a gothic voice? Really, I want to know.)
"No, I'm not, you fucking bitch!" he shouted angrily. (EN- Why can't my boyfriends be like him? ='[)He started to run out of the common room in a suicidal way. (EN- HOW do you run in a suicidal way? I bet he was carrying scissors the wrong way. Silly Draco.) I stated to cry because I was afraid he would commit suicide. (EN- Eh, pretty sure he already did that. I don't know when he got back actually. Or why it was never mentioned again. Look, Ebony, I don't think you need to worry about Draco killing himself. He's like a far, far inferior Kenny McCormick.)
"It's ok, Ebony." said Vampire, comfortingly "Ill make him feel better."
"You mean you'll go fuck him, don't you?!" I shouted angrily. (EN- Ahahaha, bitch, calm down.) Then I ran to get Draco. Vampire came too.
"Draco please come back!" he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pale face. I was so turned on because I love sensitive bi guys. (EN- That right there. Being turned on by that? That's not okay. You have some serious mental issues.) (If your a homophone, then fuck off!) (EN- If I'm a word that pronounce like another word, but means a different thing, I'm not allowed be here? Kay. Leaving 'homophone' in there because it makes me giggle.)
Then we heard some footsteps! Vampire got out his black invisibility cloak. (EN- Black invisibilty cloak. BLACK invisibility cloak. *Dies.* Actually, it was originally 'blak invincibility coke, so I'll just assume it's something completely different and hopefully fatal.) We both got under it. We saw the caretaker, Mr. Filch, there, (EN – 'saw the janitor, Mr. Norris, there.' NO. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. Bad Tara! Bad!) shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.
"WHO'S THERE?!" he shouted angrily. We saw Mrs. Norris arrive. She came under the invisibility cloak and started to meow loudly.
"IS ANY ONE THERE!" yelled Mr. Filch.
"No! Fuck you, you preppy little poser son of a fucking bitch!" Vampire said under his breath (EN- Breast o.0) in a disgusted way.
"EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! WHO SAID THAT?!" yelled Mr. Filch. Then he heard Mrs. Norris meow. "Mrs. Norris, is there anyone under the cloak!" he asked. (EN- Is there anyone under the floating invisibility cloak which I appear to know is there? *Headdesk.) Mrs. Norris nodded. (EN- That's really helpful. It's not like you're still under the cloak or anything. And then Vampire frenched me! (EN- Time and a place, Vampire, you horny little boy.) He did it just as Filch was taking of the cloak!
"WHAT THE-" he yelled, but it was 2 late. We ran away as fast as we could. (EN- While still shoving their tongues down each others' throats.) And then we saw Draco crying and slitting his wrists outside of the school. (EN- Yeah, that's not at all attention seeking.)
"Draco!" I cried. "Are you okay?"
"I guess so." Draco wept. (EN- Everyone knows slitting your wrists does no damage whatsoever -_-) We went back to our coffins frenching each other. (EN- As you do.) Draco and I decided to watch Lake Placid (See, isn't that depressing?) (EN- Eh, no. That was a horror comedy. God.) on the gothic red bed together. (EN- I though you had coffins.) As I was about to put in the video, (EN- because people still watch videos, apparently.) my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. (EN- Dear sweet mother of Christ.) There was a knock on the door and Fudge and some members of the Ministry of Magic walked into the school! (EN- Ebony, if your vision told you about Fudge appearing, you're new found power is about as useless as Alice Cullen's. Also, did he walk in to the school, or your bedroom? Bah.)
Editor's Note- I got my pizza =).
Om nom nom nom nom.
This chapter just me facepalming repeatedly. And here I though this story couldn't get any more ridiculous.
A few minutes ago I was watching a video on Youtube called 'Don't watch an anime called Boku no Pico.' I learned a valuable lesson from it.
DON'T WATCH AN ANIME CALLED BOKU NO PICO!
-Light.