Editor's Note- Ahh, sorry for the break, guys. (Willington, I'm so very, very sorry -_-) I have a few excuses. The most prominent of which being Homestuck causing me to have a mental breakdown and beating my friend with two hats in the middle of a pub. True story.

I'm editing this while listening to Shia LeBeouf (Actual Cannibal). It makes way too much sense.

Bah, on with My Immortal. The brief glimpse I've gotten of this chapter suggests it's gonna be a good one!
And since it's been awhile... Liv? I'm cooler than you =)

AN: Shut the fuck up, bitches! You're just jealous because I got 10,000 reviews! (EN- Honey, 10,000 reviews telling you to go kill yourself isn't something to be proud of =]) Fangs to Raven for the help and for telling me about the books! (EN- Because we all know Tara can't read.) Girl, you rock. Let's go shopping together! (EN- Shopping in Hot Topic. Ugh, conformists.)

The door opened and Professor Umbridge and Cornelius Fudge stomped out angrily. (EN- Cornelia Fudge? Is there something you'd like to tell us, Minister?) Then Dumbledore and Umbridge saw us. (EN- Sawed us. SAWED us. Can someone who's NOT a total retard tell us the past tense of the verb 'to see' please?)

"MS. WAY, WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING?!" Umbridge shouted angrily. (EN- Mr. Way? ALL OF THE TRANSGENDER. All of it.) Dumbledore glared at her.

"Oops, she made a mistake!" he corrected her. "She means 'Hi everybody, come in!'" (EN- Yep, same thing. Obviously.)

Well we all entered angrily. (EN- How does one enter a room angrily? Stomping? Slamming doors? They walked into the room like petulant five year olds, is what I'm gathering.) So did all the other students. I sat between Darkness and Draco and opposite B'loody Mary. Crab and Goyle started to make some morbid jokes. They both looked exactly like Ville Valo. (EN- So Crabbe and Goyle happen to be the secret triplets of a Finnish rock artist. Kay.) I ate some Count Chocula and drank some blood from a cup.(EN- Conformist -_-) Then I heard someone shouting angrily. I looked behind me. It was Vampire! He and Draco were shouting at each other. (EN- Shooting? Guns are bad, m'kay?)

"Vampire, Draco, what the fuck?" I asked. (EN- In an absolutely deadpan voice. Like, WTF, guys? -_-)

"You fucking bastard!" yelled Draco "I want to sit next to her!" (EN-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 'Shit next to her.' That is a thing of beauty.)

"No, I do!" shouted.

"No, she doesn't fucking like you, you son of a bitch!" yelled Draco.

"No, fuck you, motherfucker, she loves me! Not you!" shouted Vampire. And then he jumped on Draco! (No, not in that way, you pervert.) (EN- Yeah, Tara, 'cause WE'RE the perverts here.) They started to fight and beat up each other. (EN- Well, that escalated quickly.)

Dumbledore yelled at them but they didn't stop. Then a terrible man with red eyes and no nose flew in on his broomstick. He had no nose (EN- Yeah, we got that, thanks.) and was wearing a gray robe. All the glass in the window he flew through shattered. Britney, that fucking prep started to cry. (EN- Fucking Britney. Everyone hates the bitch. ...Who the fuck is Britney?!) Vampire and Draco stopped fighting and I stopped eating. (EN- Ah, sub-plot!) Everyone gasped. The room fell silent. It was Voldemort! (EN- Oh, wow, really?)

"Ebony…Ebony…" Voldemort (EN- Darth Valer o.O) said cruelly. "Thou have failed your mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Vampire as well. If thou does not kill him now, then I shall kill Draco too!"

"Please don't make me kill him! Please!" I begged.

"No!" he laughed evilly. (EN- MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) "Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!" Then he flew away cackling. (EN- So, he comes in, announces his plan, tells Ebony to kill Vampire and then just leaves? Wow, whoever does his scheming really needs to be fired.)

I burst into tears. Draco and Vampire came to comfort me. (EN- Yeah, it's not like you're supposed to kill them or anything. Of course they'd happily approach you.) Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic. (EN- ...The fuck does that work?) I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Voldemort coming to kill Draco while Draco slit his wrists in a depressed way. (EN- Oh, wow, you saw exactly what Voldemort told you would happen with a side order of Draco's average Tuesday night! Worst. Power. Ever.)

"No!" I screamed sexily. (EN- No. No, no, no. No.) Suddenly I looked up and my premonition stopped

"Ebony! Ebony, are you alright?" asked Draco in a worried voice.

"Yeah, yeah." I said sadly as I got up.

"Everything's all right, Ebony." said Vampire. (EN- With a lisp, by the look of that 'everyfing's')

"No, it's not!" I shouted angrily. Tears of blood streamed down my face. (EN- That's something you should probably see someone about.)

"Oh, my fucking God! What if I'm getting possessed, like in 'The Ring 2'?!" (EN- Yes. Because when I have a vision after being told to murder the 'luff off mii liife' my immediate concern is being forced to re-enact Japanese horror movies. Though I doubt Tara has ever seen the Japanese versions, to be fair.)

"It's okay, girl." said B'loody Mary. "Maybe you should ask Professor Sinistra about what the visions mean, though."

"Ok, bitch." I said sadly (EN- YOU ARE A HORRIBLE FRIEND.) and then we left.

Editor's Note- I have a few things to say about this. First off, why did they go into the room? It served no purpose whatsoever. Secondly, why are Umbridge and Dumbledore just chilling there while Voldemort flies through a window? Which is what you do when you can't apparate, clearly.

Why does everyone look like emo singers? Why have so many people swapped gender? Why does Harry have a lisp? What happened to Fudge? Will this story ever make sense? WHO THE FUCK IS BRITNEY?

So many South Park references in my ENs today. And a few from Alex Day. One Homestuck. Man, I'm on a roll. Virtual Ebony voodoo dolls to whoever can catch them all.

-Light.