Editor's Note- In Ireland we have this thing called The Late Late Toy Show. It's basically a Christmas special where this tool called Ryan Tubridy annoys a lot of children on a stage. There's all the main new toys of the year, choirs, celebrities endorsing products and all that shit.

Last night I watched it for the first time in about 10 years. While playing a drinking game. As a result, I know have a bottle of Huzzar vodka, which I cannot drink, and 10 cans of Rock Shandy in my possession. At this very moment, I'm working my way through the Rock Shandy alongside a bowel of red onion and mayonnaise. I love my life.

Liv- Aww =(

-Light.

AN:You know what?! I don't give a fuck what you preps think about me! So stop flaming the fucking story bitches! Fangs to Raven for your love, support and help. I love you, girl. Sorry I couldn't update, LOL. (En-I'm not sorry.) I was really depressed and I slit my wrists. I had to go to the hospital. (EN- Yeah, because that actually happened -_-) Raven, you rock, girl!

Everyone in the room started to cry happily. I had saved them. Draco, Lucius, Sirius and Vampire all came to hug me. The nurse started to give them medicine.

"Come on, Ebony." said Professor Trelawney. (EN- This said Professor Sinatra. I'm guessing she meant Sinistra and I'm also assuming that she really meant Trelawney.) She was wearing a gothic, black leather dress with a corset top and real vampire blood on it (EN- Was it Rufus Scrimgeour's? =) ) and black, platform boots. "I have to tell you about the fucking premonition." (EN- STOP. SWEARING.)

I locked at Lucius, Sirius, Draco and Vampire. They nodded.

I smiled happily and went into a dark room. Professor Trelawney took out some black cards. She started to look into a black crystal ball. "Tara, I see that dark times are near." She said sadly. She peered into the ball. "You see, you must go back in time." (EN-...Wait, what?) She took out a Time-Turner like B'loody Mary had. "When Voldemort (EN- Introducing new Voldemints! They're lethal AND delicious!) was in Hogwarts, before he became powerful, he got his heart broken. Now do you think he would still become Voldemort if he was in love?" I shook my head. (EN- I disagree.) "You must go back in time and seduce him. It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him. You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it." (EN- That is an AWFUL plan. Horrendous. Breaking into the White House dressed as zombie Nyan Cat with and axe while singing Shia Lebeouf [Actual Cannibal] is a better idea than this. Seriously.)

"Okay." I said sadly. I went outside again.

"What fucking happened?" asked Draco and Vampire.

"Yeah, what happened?" asked Darkness, Willow and B'loody Mary. (EN- Because you won't get an answer unless you all ask.)

I was about to tell them but everyone was there. They were celebrating Lucius and Sirius being found. Everyone was proud of me but I just wanted to talk to Draco. They were cheering my name and some reporters were there, trying to interview Dumbledore. A banner was put up. (En- I haven't read the last chapter so I don't know what actually happened, but this seems like a lot of fuss over an assumed murderer and a Death Eater.) Lots of fucking preps were there, obviously trying to be be gothic. (EN- Was Britney there? I bet Britney was there. That whore.) They were wearing the HIM sign on their hands- despite them not having actually heard of HIM. (EN- So they know the Heartogram but not HIM? Yeah, whatever.) Even Mrs. Norris looked happy. (EN- She said Mr Noris, so I don't know if she meant Mrs. Norris or Mr. Filch. But Mrs. Norris was a Maincoone in the movies and I love Maincoones. So I picked her.) A black and red cake had been brought out. (EN- That does not in the least bit sound appetising.) Crabbe and Goyle set up some fireworks in the shape of skulls from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

I put on my Invisibility cloak with Vampire and Draco and we sneaked outside together. (EN- For no apparent reason.)

Editor's Note- Not much to say about this chapter. Same shit again, really.

I'm off to drink my bodyweight in Rock Shandy =D

-Light.