WARPED

Chapter 34

Finally, Jocelyn thought to herself. Peace and quiet.

Jocelyn sank into her bed, happy to be free of her crazy family. She had the room she shared with both of her sisters to herself tonight. Nova had spent a good twenty minutes arguing with their mom about sleeping over some friend's house, and Chloe was sleeping downstairs in Ross and Marco's room. Her parents were asleep, no doubt exhausted after another day of wrangling five kids.

Jocelyn glanced at her phone. It was five minutes to midnight: another midnight back at home in her tiny, boring town. It angered her that she hadn't kept a proper count of how long she, Hazelle, and Lucy had been in Gravity Falls. It couldn't have been more than two weeks, but now it felt like it had been a hazy century ago.

Lying stiff under a thin fleece blanket in bed, Jocelyn waited. Anxious, she checked her phone again, the light from her screen making dots dance in her vision: 11:57. Hazelle would be there in three minutes, and then they would try to make their way back to Gravity Falls to find Stan.

Back. The word made Jocelyn's throat constrict. How in the name of Alex Hirsch were they going back? They shouldn't have even gone in the first place! She couldn't help but blame herself for the whole incident. That time two weeks ago, she would have given anything to go to Gravity Falls, the home of her favorite cartoon. Now she would have given anything just to get a good night's sleep.

Plus, there was the whole idea of Jocelyn being able to open a portal there in general. Hazelle was an eager person, sure. Optimistic, absolutely. But this was just wishful thinking. There was no way Jocelyn could actually open a portal back to Gravity Falls. Earlier she'd felt like she could pull off a miracle, but her strength had drained away and left behind a hollow wound that hadn't healed. There was no way this was really going to work.

Her phone, on silent, lit up, momentarily blinding her. Here, said Hazelle's text. Jocelyn couldn't stop the flurry of nerves that tingled in her stomach. Hazelle hadn't written in her usual slam of all capital letters: she meant business.

Creeping out of bed, Jocelyn checked to make sure she had everything she'd need. She was dressed comfortably: black leggings, combat boots, her marching band sweatshirt, a mismatched pair of fuzzy socks. Her hair was pulled back in a thick French braid, and she hadn't bothered with any makeup. No one in Gravity Falls would care what she looked like. In her draw string bag, she had her wallet, house key, color guard gloves, several roles of electrical tape, and a pen. She wouldn't need much: her mode of transportation was her hand. She scoffed under her breath and slunk out of her room: Hazelle's probably gonna bring a whole pack of stuff, knowing her.

Sneaking out through the front door, Jocelyn locked it and watched Hazelle approach with a flashlight. Her mop of crazy curly hair had been washed, and now went down her back and shoulders in brown spirals. She wore dark jeans, boots, a thin black jacket with the hood pulled up over her head, and a pair of wool gloves.

Jocelyn made a face at the hefty bag hanging from Hazelle's back. "What, did you bring your whole house?"

"No," huffed Hazelle, securing the mountain of a backpack around her shoulders. "I just brought all the tools that may or may not be essential to our little adventure. Speaking of which." She held out a tiny Chinese folded box. "I got you some sweet and sour chicken."

"OH MY GOD," Jocelyn yelled, snatching the box. "This is awesome, thanks! Do you happen to have some chopsticks in that Mary Poppins bag of yours?"

Hazelle rolled her eyes. "You don't even know how to use chopsticks." Nonetheless, she reached back into her bag and pulled out an unwrapped pair of chopsticks.

"This is why I keep you around," Jocelyn joked, beginning to eat by stabbing her chicken with a single chopstick. "What else do you even have in there? We only need, like, three things. Ever heard of 'packing light'?"

"Ever heard of 'getting caught off guard and/or unprepared?" Hazelle nodded. "I'm ready if you are."

"I'm not," Jocelyn said bluntly through a full mouth. "I actually don't even think this is gonna work."

Hazelle scowled. "This was your idea."

"Yeah, only after you guilt tripped me."

"I guilt tripped you? You took one look at Lucy, and suddenly you were Captain Portal Girl!"

"I said don't call me that!" Jocelyn snapped.

Hazelle opened her mouth to continue arguing, but she shook it off. "Joss, we shouldn't be fighting. We have a job to do."

"If buy 'job,' you mean 'spiraling into an unknown oblivion,' then yes, we certainly do have a long to-do list tonight," Jocelyn replied, sassy as ever.

Hazelle, exasperated, gestured to the open air. "Just get us to Gravity Falls."

"How am I even supposed to do that?"

"Think about it!" Hazelle threw her hands into the air. "When you opened the portal the first time, we were freaking out about Bill and the website and everything! Just focus!"

"And what if it's not enough?" Jocelyn spit through her teeth. "What if I just land us in the middle of nowhere, in another dimension? Are you gonna be so enthusiastic then?"
"I…" Hazelle lowered her arms and fixed a confident stare on Jocelyn. "You won't. I know you won't. Just think of everyone we met there, all our insides jokes, all our friends. I know you can do this."

Jocelyn swallowed her last piece of chicken in a harsh gulp. "Fine. If this doesn't work, it's your fault. You should probably step back, by the way." She took a deep breath and raised her hands. Jocelyn thought back to her previous adventure: getting breakfast with the Pines, meeting McGucket and Lazy Susan, bickering with Stan, sleepovers and makeovers with Mabel, going on a monster hunt for the squash with the whole gang, and all the other fun she had had. Jocelyn also focused on the town itself, and the personality that made it Gravity Falls, Oregon. The destination was the most important part of creating the portal. It couldn't be that much different from apparating, right?

Mustering up as much strength as she could, Jocelyn channeled all her uncertainty and ferocity into the portal, her mind on Gravity Falls the whole time. She felt her braid being whipped by the wind, and heard Hazelle's exclamation of, "Joss, it's working!"

Finally, there was a blast of blue light and a shrieking sound. Jocelyn's eyes flashed open. A portal lay before them, taking up a large circle of the ground in front of her feet.

"Welp," Jocelyn gasped, breathless. "It's open."

"Let's go!" Hazelle yelled, grabbing Jocelyn's arm.

Dizzy with hope and fear, Jocelyn allowed herself to be pulled, and she and Hazelle jumped feet-first into the swirling blue abyss.

She was plummeting for a moment, then floating, then falling. She felt like she was being smashed and tugged and yanked like taffy. She couldn't feel Hazelle's hand around her arm anymore, nor could she feel any sensation other than the forces assaulting her body from every angle. But then it was all cut short when she landed on her back, knocking the wind from her lungs. Gasping for breath, Jocelyn sat up and took in her surroundings.

To her right lay an equally breathless Hazelle, and to her left was a large sign that read, "MYSTERY HACK."

They had landed on the roof of the Mystery Shack.

"WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?!" Jocelyn exclaimed. She wished she could at least land them on solid ground for once.

It was pitch black out, and the dim lights hanging from the Shack allowing them to see the surrounding trees. Hazelle groaned and rolled onto her back, wincing up at Gravity Falls's starlit sky. "Well," she wheezed, "I said you could do it."

"Yeah," Jocelyn replied. "Thanks for the encouragement."

The sound of the door flying open made Jocelyn and Hazelle jump. From below, a figure in white, red, and blue crept out of the Shack, wielding a broom like a loaded gun.

"Who's out here?" he cried. "It better not be another one of you beautiful men rooting through my trash again! You're lucky I won't call the cops...for, uh...personal reasons!"

Jocelyn peeked over the side of the roof, grinning down at the battle-ready figure of Stan Pines. "Hiya, old man!"

Stan swiveled around, his face going blank upon sight of her and Hazelle on his roof again. He glanced at the door, as if checking Dipper and Mabel hadn't heard him and come down to help him investigate. Eyes snapping back to Hazelle and Jocelyn, he shook his head, baffled but not altogether upset to see them.

"Jeez Louise, why do you people keep harassing my roof?"