So We Beat On Part 2

Skyler's fingers ran up and down the piano, producing an up-tempo dramatic melody. He wasn't the best at improv, but he knew enough about chord progressions that he could get by. His fingers slowed their wild pace and he finished on an E flat chord.

"Not bad," Sydney scribbled something down on the sheet music in front of her. "I still think we need a key change though. The act one finale needs to end on a powerful chord and a key change can emphasize that."

Skyler distractedly nodded his head. Sydney's words were background noise to him. He glanced up at Carter and Connor who were babbling in their incoherent seven-week-old language. They were laying in their bassinets next to Riley and Lexi. Jade sat between them pointing out pictures in one of her favourite books to them. Though the cousins were too young to really play together, the adults figured it was best to get them together now so they could grow up together. It also gave the parents a chance to see each other. Skyler hadn't seen Sydney in over two weeks. It felt weird to be without his best friend for that long.

The twins were growing fast. The doctor said it was a healthy weight gain, especially since they were both born underweight. Skyler stared at his sons with a slight smile on his face. Raising them was anything but easy. He'd practically become a single parent with Anna still recovering from her PPD. The corner of Skyler's lips turned down. The past seven weeks had been rough.

"Did you hear me? Skyler?" Sydney waved her hand in front of Skyler's face to snap him out of his trance. "Hello? Anyone home?"

Skyler started and shook his head. "Sorry, what did you say?"

"I asked if you could try it again, but this time start in A flat major." Sydney set down the sheet music, concern for her friend written all over her face. "Are you okay? You seem out of it today."

"I'm fine," Skyler quickly reassured her. "The boys woke me up three times last night. I'm just tired. You wanted to try A flat major?" He placed his hands back on the piano and played a few chords to adjust to the new key.

Sydney placed her hands on top of Skyler's to stop him. "How about we take a break? It's lunch time and I need to feed Lexi and Riley. Besides, Joe should be back with the subs we ordered any minute now. You know, I think he's actually starting to like you. He complimented you the other day. Not to your face obviously, but it's a start."

"I find that hard to believe." Skyler scoffed. "The last time he saw me all he did was glare and interrogate me about Anna."

"He's worried about her. We all are. You can't blame him." Sydney pressed her lips into a thin line. "How is she doing?"

"Better." Skyler let out a heavy sigh. "The doctor gave her some new pills and she's been taking them every day. She's not sleeping as much as she used to which is good, and she actually held Connor for a little bit the other day. Not for very long, but still. It's an improvement."

"And what about you? Everyone always asks who the person who's depressed is doing, but they never seem to realize how much it affects the people around them. How are you doing?" Sydney's bright blue eyes regarded Skyler with worry.

Skyler ran a hand through his thick hair. "I'm surviving. I don't really have much of a choice. It's really hard sometimes, but someone has to take care of Carter and Connor, and Anna isn't exactly helpful. But it would be nice to have five minutes to just breathe, you know? I can't complain. Whatever I'm going through, Anna has it worse."

"You have every right to complain, Sky. You're not perfect. This has been just as hard on you as it has been on her. It's important that you're there for Anna when she needs you, but it's also important that you let yourself feel. You can't keep your emotions bottled up. It won't end well."

Skyler dragged a hand over his face. He understood Sydney's point, but that didn't change the fact that he felt guilty every time he wanted to take a break from fatherhood. "I just wish I could know what she was going through. I want to help her, but I feel so useless. It kills me to see her like this."

"Well you're not going to ever know what she's going through, so stop trying to understand it. Trust me, depression isn't easy to empathize with and it's hard to be there for the ones we care about." Sydney developed a far-way look in her eyes.

Skyler realized that Sydney knew exactly what she was talking about. He'd been with her through enough dark and depressive times to know that she had first-hand experience with depression. He'd never been able to help her either. If it weren't for Joe, Skyler wasn't sure Sydney would have ever gotten better.

"The best thing you can do for Anna is be by her side and support her," Sydney went on after coming back to the present. "Make sure she takes her medication and gently work with her until she's better. Don't expect her to go back to her old self either. She could make a complete recovery or she could come out of this with a deep emotional scar. Do you love her?"

"Of course I do." Skyler didn't even have to think about his answer. He loved Anna with all his heart. Nothing would change that.

Sydney smiled. "Then I guarantee you've already been a huge help to her. Let her know every day that you love her and don't let her know that her depression is a burden to you. It will help more than you think."

Skyler subconsciously messed with his hair as he thought over Sydney's words. Was he really helping Anna that much? It didn't seem like he was, but Anna had been getting better. Skyler desperately wanted her to improve. Not just for his sake, but for the twins too. They needed a motherly figure in their life. Skyler would never give up on Anna. She would get better. He had to believe in her. Even if she didn't believe in herself.

Anna's favourite thing about the penthouse was the view from her and Skyler's bedroom. Their home was on Broadway, and it was just a few blocks north of Times Square, close enough to see the dazzling lights. Tonight the view was special, because for the first time in a long time, Anna felt happy.

She'd been on the increased dosage of Paxil for almost two weeks now. Her check-up was tomorrow and Anna felt good. She didn't have the desire to stay in bed all day, and she felt calm around her sons. She hadn't been alone with them yet, but she was still improving day by day.

The sound of running water filled the room as Skyler took his shower before going to bed. Anna smiled just thinking about her husband. He'd been great to her and the twins the past eight weeks. She couldn't have asked for anyone better to be by her side through all of this. She knew it had been hard on him, though he was reluctant to let it show. He'd pushed on, taking care of Carter and Connor when Anna couldn't.

Skyler had just put the twins to bed a half an hour ago. They had been restless lately and weren't sleeping through the night very well, but Skyler had gotten up every time to check on them and soothe them until they went back to sleep. Sometimes Anna felt like she didn't deserve someone as amazing as Skyler. Other times she didn't know what she would do without him.

A loud wailing flowed from the baby monitor on their night stand without warning. Anna's body went rigid, and she stared at the baby monitor like it was a bomb. She glanced at the bathroom door. Skyler had just started his shower, he wouldn't be out for a while, and there was no way he could hear the twins' crying from in there.

Anna took a deep breath to calm herself down. Her anxiety made her heartbeat quicken to a painful rate. Her palms became sweaty as she repeatedly clenched and unclenched her fists. Anna reluctantly dragged her feet out of her bedroom and towards the twins' room.

She could count on one hand the amount of times she had been in their nursery, and every time, Skyler had been with her. Being in there alone made her feel like she had entered unknown territory. She didn't know where anything was. What if they needed changing or fed? Anna wouldn't be able to find the diapers or their bottles.

Anna swallowed the lump in her throat and tentatively inched towards the boys' cribs. Both of them were crying their hearts out. Skyler had told Anna that the boys always cried together at the same time. They had a synchronicity that was weird even for twin standards. How did he always manage to calm them down at the same time?

Her arms reached over into Carter's crib and as carefully as she could, she picked him up. Anna hoped that would be enough to stop the crying, but of course it wasn't. Anna bit her lip and shifted Carter into one arm and awkwardly bent over to pick up Connor. Balancing the twins at the same time was not an easy task.

A million deadly scenarios flashed through Anna's mind. What if she dropped them? What if they were only crying because she was holding them? What did they want? Why couldn't they just stop crying?

Did they need changing? Anna sniffed the air, but no foul odors met her nose and they didn't feel wet in her arms. Were they hungry? Anna had no way of knowing and she didn't know where their bottles were to feed them. Anna groaned. She couldn't do this. She wasn't meant for this. She should just set the twins down, leave, and never look back.

But she couldn't do that. She couldn't leave Skyler and even though she was unwilling to admit it, Anna was starting to feel a bond with her sons. She started to rock them slowly in her arms and made gentle shushing noises. That was how you soothed fussy babies, right?

The twins quieted down quicker than Anna expected. Their eyes gradually drifted shut, and soon they were asleep in her arms. She let out a sigh of relief that she hadn't even realized she was holding in. She cautiously put them back in their respective cribs. Her gaze lingered on her sons. The increased dosage of her anti-depressants must have been working, because as Anna stared down on her children, she felt blissful and proud of what she and Skyler had created for the first time since they had been born.

"You did well."

Anna jumped from the suddenness of Skyler's voice. She spun around and saw him leaning in the doorway with a soft smile on his face. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough." Skyler stepped in to the room and closer to Anna, his warm brown eyes alight with love. "I was going to step in and take them from you, but I thought it would be best to let you work things out on your own. I would've intervened if anything went wrong, but you did great."

Anna wrung her hands. "Really? I didn't know what I was doing, but I wanted to help them. I thought they were never going to stop crying."

"Want to know a secret?" Skyler leaned in close to Anna's face. "No parent knows what they're doing. Even I panic a little every time I hear them start to bawl."

Anna couldn't stop the smile from coming to her lips. She glanced over her shoulder at the boys and turned her body back around to get a better look at them. "They're kind of great, aren't they?"

Skyler wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her on the cheek. "They're perfect. Once you get to know them, you'll see."

"I'd like that." Anna was still a long shot from getting back to her normal self, but she felt like she could get there someday. Each day was a little brighter than the last.

AN/PSA: If you or someone you know is suffering from depression, get help. It doesn't have to be professional, just talking to a friend can make a big difference.

That's it for this mini-story. Thanks for reading and don't forget to leave a review!

Also, the Mystery Girl rewrite is now posted. So please, check that out and leave a review over there. I will get back to updating Dead Debts next week.