Editor's Note- Okay, so I'm a little more mentally stable now. But only a little.
-Light.
AN: I said shut the fuck up, you queefs! (EN- That was 'quiephs'. I made an assumption. Though she probably doesn't know what the word means.) Stop calling Ebony a Mary Sue, ok, (EN- Sorry, Tar-bear, but I call them like I see them.) You don't even know what's going to happen, ok, so fuck you! (EN- Admit it, Tara, even you don't know where you're going with this shit.) Fangs to my BFF Raven for the help! (EN- I like to think of your relationship as BFUYSMS. Best Friends Until You Steal My Sweater =) )
"I always knew you were on Voldemort's side, you son of a bitca" (Buffy rocks!) (EN- Buffy DOES rock, but you don't have the right to make references to Buffy =( ) Sirius said to Snape.
"No, I'm not! I was teaching them something!" Snape claimed.
"Oh fucking yeah?" I took some black Veritaserum (EN- Colourless, odourless, black liquid. Yeah, that makes sense.) out of my pocket and gave it to Sirius. He made Snape drink it. He did angrily. Then Lucius (EN- Luscious o.O) took out a tape recorder and started playing it while he cursed Snape. Then Professor Sinistra (EN- Or possible Trelawney) and Lucius made us leave with them while Snape told his secrets. Lucius took Vampire and Draco to the nurse after thanking me a million times. Professor Trelawney took me to a dark room. (EN- Really, Trelawney? There are better people to rape than Ebony.) Now I was going to go back in time to seduce Voldemort. (EN- May God help us all.) Moving posters of My Chemical Romance and Nirvana were all over. (EN- If you say Nirvana is gothic, I will find you and I will kill you slowly and painfully.) Hermione, (EN- I thought she was B'loody Mary? But I'm not complaining.) Darkness and Willow came too. B'loody Mary gave me a black bag from Tom Riddle's store.
"What's in the bag?" I asked Professor Trelawney.
"You will see." she said. I opened the bag. (EN- Have to admit, I was expecting it to be a while before she got to open it.) In it was a sexy, tight, low-cut black leather gothic dress. It had red corset stuff and there was a slit up the leg. (EN- Well, that was disgracefully anti climatic. I was expecting something useful. I don't know why I even hope any more.) I put it on. My friends helped me put on black fishnets and black pointy boots Willow had chosen. Willow and Darkness helped me put on black eye-liner and blood-red lipstick. (EN- You clearly just want to blend in in the past, yeah?
"You look fucking kawaii, bitch." B'loody Mary said. (EN- Nobody asked your opinion.)
"Fangs." I said. (EN- Shut up.)
"Ok, now you're going to go back in time." said Professor Trelawney. "You will have to do it in a few seconds." She gave me a black gun. I put it in a strap on my fishnets like in Resident Evil. (EN- YOU DO NOT GET TO TALK ABOUT RESIDENT EVIL. STOP DESTROYING EVERYTHING I LOVE.) Then she gave me a black time-turner. (EN- Because normal time turners are too mainstream.) "After an hour, use the time turner to come back here." Professor Trelawney said. Then she and B'loody Mary put a Pensieve in front of me. Everyone went in front of it.
"Good luck!" Everyone shouted. Darkness and Willow gave me death's touch sin. (EN- I don't even want to know what she wanted to say.) Then I jumped sexily into the Pensieve. (EN- So, so much stupidity.)
Suddenly I was in front of the school. In front of me was one of the sexiest goth guys I had ever seen. He has long black hair, kinda like Mikey Way's only black. (EN- I don't remember Mikey Way having long hair.) He had green eyes like Billie Joe Armstrong and pale white skin. He was wearing a black ripped up suit with Vans. (EN- Who would desecrate a suit like that?) It was….Tom Bombodil! (EN- Because apparently she travelled back in time to the Hogwarts in Middle Earth.)
Editor's Note- While I was editing this, Liv burst into my room near tears saying 'I can't do this any more!' because of chapter 30. So I read chapter 30. And the small part of my soul I didn't sell to Andrew Hussie died. Thanks for that, Tara.
-Light.