She touches his shoulder with her free hand. He doesn't respond. She gently turns his face towards her, finding it rimmed with frost. He seems to be sleeping peacefully. But she knows better, she knows that he's dead. All hope, will, and spirit leaves her. She looks out towards the icy waters at the boat. It's further away now, the voices growing fainter and fainter with each passing second. She watches them go, closes her eyes. She is so weak, every fiber in her being is telling her to shut down, to let go. Without him, there is no reason left to live, to try, to keep going. And then.. Her eyes snap open.
She raises her head suddenly, violently, cracking the ice as she wrenches her hair off the wood. She tries to call out, but no one hears her. The boat is barely visible now, the torch a bright star impossibly far away. She struggles to draw a breath, calling out again. She endeavors to move, but for some reason can't. Looking down at her hand, she realizes, it is frozen solid to her lover's. She breaths on it, melting the ice a bit, and gingerly unclasps their hands. In doing so, she removes a bit of skin on her palm, but can't feel it due to the numbness the freezing temperatures are causing.
She says goodbye to her deceased lover and moves fast, her only objective to get to that small little piece of metal sticking out, a beacon during a fierce storm. She makes it to it and pulls it's cool surface to her lips, blowing with all the strength she has. The sound pierces through the night air, for all to hear.
The Doctor's eyes were surprisingly moist. He couldn't believe he had ever made fun of people for watching the Titanic; It was wonderful, extraordinary. He somehow found himself in a line of questioning. Why did Jack have to leave Rose? They both could have fit on that door. All he had to do was position himself right and they both could have survived. Stupid men, not using their brains when a woman was in danger. How could two people become helplessly in love after a mere few days? He supposed that he felt the same way about Rose after only a few days, but they had been companions. They had gone through dangers together. He had discovered things no one knew about her. Things she didn't even know herself.
He had known that Rose felt something for him for a while now. Maybe it wasn't love-he really hoped it was-but she felt something. He could smell it on her; The pheromones her body would produce involuntarily when their hugs lasted a bit long, or when for some odd reason his shirt would be slightly unbuttoned or even off. She would try to hide it, had even bolted from the room once and left him feeling confused and insecure, but still it continued. Maybe it was all in his head, just a physical attraction. But he hoped, prayed, with both of his hearts that it was love. He wanted her so desperately sometimes it pained him. He began to harden at the thoughts of Rose and blushed, ashamed. He shouldn't be getting hard by the mere thought of her. This body was extremely hormonal. He sighed, pushing away all thoughts of Rose and focused on the other Rose, the Rose onscreen who he was guessing was right about to be saved. If it hadn't been for the elderly Rose who popped up occasionally in the movie, he would have banked on the idea the Rose was about to die.
"Row! That way! Pull!" Rose continues to blow the whistle, not caring that it pierces through her body and burns her throat. The boat nears her, but she will not stop blowing. She will never stop blowing until she is on the boat; and even then the other passengers might have to pry it from her fingers. The image changed as Rose was brought aboard the small vessle. The older Rose spoke, "Fifteen hundred people went into the sea when Titanic sank from under us. There were twenty boats floating nearby and only one came back. One. Six were saved from the water, myself included. Six. Out of fifteen hundred."
A tear ran down his cheek and he wiped it away, now thoroughly confused at his body's reaction. He didn't cry; He was a Time Lord. He guessed this movie was as sad as they say it is. Or maybe it was because he kept comparing this movie to his own life, with his Rose. Well, hopefully someday his Rose.
The polish they had applied to her toes had been chosen after ten minutes of searching. Her mother had wanted black. "It would look so good with your dress and shoes," She had insisted. But Rose would not have it. She wanted her nails blue, but not just any blue. A TARDIS blue. After looking through several blues Rose still wasn't convinced. The Korean woman had been annoyed, she knew, but never the less she helped Rose find the perfect blue. When they did find it, it surprisingly mimicked the TARDIS's beautiful color and matched her yellow dress. She had wanted to paint her fingernails the same color, but at that request her mother had put her foot down. She insisted that her nails be Frenched tipped with no color, and she complied, although with a pouty lip and puppy dog eyes.
At the moment, her painted feet were being soaked in warm bubbly water, the polish dried. Jackie was flipping through a magazine, though nothing was obviously keeping her attention. She sighed and shut the magazine, throwing it down on the pile with the others in defeat,
"David Letterman is having an affair. Do I really care about that? This country hasn't had a good scandal in ages." Rose sighed and shut her eyes, trying to focus on the warm water surrounding her toes. She knew her mother was trying to start small talk before she drilled her for information about Mickey. Jackie Tyler was not a strait forward person, and she was definitely not looking forward to be grilled for information. She was so happy right now, and she didn't want to spoil that happiness. It had taken a day for her to be able to think about Mickey without crying, but talking about it? She wasn't sure if she could handle it. And if she was going to tell her mother about Mickey, she might as well confide in her about the skethers. She blushed in humiliation and turned away from her mother, wishing she could sink to the floor, go to another universe, be anywhere but here. Because when Jackie Tyler was curious about something, she got the answer. One way or the other.
"Sweetheart? What happened to Mickey?" Rose shifted in her chair uncomfortably, despite the relaxation it brought to her back due to the massage control. She decided she wasn't going to play games. No more swiveling around the subject or trying to steer the conversation somewhere else.
"Mickey decided to stay on a parallel universe," Rose said, turning her head to face her mother. Jackie's eyes were wide with disbelief.
"A parallel universe? What were you doing there?" She wanted to know. Rose sighed,
"It wasn't on purpose. It isn't supposed to happen, really. I mean, when there were millions of Time Lords they could, but with just the Doctor it shouldn't happen. We were going to go back, but the TARDIS had to reboot. There was another Mickey you see, his name was Rickey. We sorta teamed up with him, but he died by the hands of the Cybermen. Mickey decided to take his place." Jackie was thoroughly confused, staring at Rose with a confused expression,
"But how were there two Mickeys? What is a parallel universe?" Jackie asked. Rose thought for a moment, then remembered the Doctor's explanation,
"It's exactly like our universe, except there are some subtle differences. Actually, sometimes major differences," She paused, trying to think of ways to explain, "Basically it's our universe, but something small is changed. Maybe the Queen never had a child. Maybe you never married dad. Each of these changes affect the universe. If none of them ever happen, or if something does happen or changes, it creates a parallel universe." Jackie nodded in understanding.
"So there was another all of us?" Rose nodded. "Wow. Must have been funny seeing yourself." Rose looked down at her feet, suddenly interested in her blue nails,
"Actually, I didn't exist. You and dad were married; His inventions really kicked off, you guys were rich! But you never had children. You had a dog, though. A dog named Rose." Jackie's eyes widened at the news and she looked away from Rose for a minute. A beat later she turned to Rose again, and her head lifted. They looked into each other's eyes for a moment and then burst into fits of laughter. When it subsided, Rose wiped an unshed tear from her eye, "Yeah, that was the Doctor's reaction. I was a bit peeved, but I guess I can laugh at it now that it's over." There was a pregnant pause and Rose looked to her nails again, knowing what was coming next,
"So Mickey.. stayed? Why would he do that?" Rose sighed and looked up at her mother,
"Do you remember when I told you about Sarah Jane and K-9?" Jackie nodded, "Well Mickey would always say, 'I'm not the tin dog.' He always felt so.. left out. Useless. And I felt bad because I knew the Doctor and I unintentionally treated him that way. When we were battling the Cybermen, the Doctor had wanted Mickey to kinda stay by the sidelines. But he wouldn't have it. He went along with one of Rickey's followers and, in the end, it was Mickey who saved us all." Jackie bobbed her head. "Plus his gram was still alive. Can you believe it?" Jackie's eyes widened, her lips twitched up,
"Really? That's great! I'm glad he got to see her again. I'm gonna miss the little bugger though." Jackie sighed, closing her eyes. Rose looked at her fingers and twisted them together, not wanting to talk about her failure but knowing if she didn't talk to someone it was going to nag at her forever.
"There's something else," Rose said, finally looking into her mother's eyes. Jackie's empathetic look reassured her, "It's not about Mickey, it's just.. Something I need to get off my chest." Jackie nodded,
"Whenever you're ready sweetheart." Rose closed her eyes and bobbed her head, as if the action were painful. She opened and closed her mouth several times, uncertain of how to tell Jackie her daughter had messed up. She took a deep, calming breath and opened her eyes. They were glassy, filled with unshed tears, when she said,
"I screwed up mum." Jackie's warmhearted smile never faded,
"Oh sweetheart, it's not your fault. Mickey stayed on his own accord." But Rose just shook her head fiercely,
"It's not that, mum. It's something else. Something that happened before that. Before we picked up Mickey but I was too ashamed to tell you.." Jackie's eyes softened and she smiled a weak smile at Rose,
"Don't ever feel ashamed, Rose. Never. You have saved the lives of so many people.. Never, ever feel bad about yourself. Okay?" Rose just shook her head for the utmost time, not wanting to believe it,
"But you don't even know what happened," Rose said guiltily. Jackie just tutted and shrugged,
"I don't need to. Whatever happened, I'm sure you had a good reason." There was a pregnant pause after her mother's words. Could her mother be right? No, she refused to believe it. What she did was stupid and wrong, "Do you want to talk about it?" Jackie offered. Rose sighed,
"No, but I know if I don't it'll just weigh on me.." Jackie nodded and crossed her arms, determined to hear the story. But Rose was silent.
"So?" Jackie asked.
"I'm thinking where to begin," Rose said, deciding that she should start from the beginning.
"The TARDIS started malfunctioning. She was supposed to be taking us to Barcelona, the planet not the city, when she just suddenly started to jolt and we got major whiplash. She had dropped us off at Earth in 4692. There were these creatures, the skethers, and they ate children mum. The Doctor and I found where they were hiding the kids. But they knew we knew and came after us. The Doctor screamed for help, told me to grab the kids, but I froze. I froze mum. Those kids could have died and it would have been all my fault.." She paused and took a breath, not willing to let the tears fall, "But the Doctor saved them. He made sure no harm came to them and then it was over. He told me it wasn't my fault afterwords, but whose fault was it mum?" A single tear rolled down her cheek and she wiped it away just as fast as it had fallen. Jackie's own eyes were full of tears when she pulled her daughter into her body for a chaste hug.
"Awe it wasn't your fault sweetheart. If the Doctor didn't think you were up for it, he would have kicked you out of that blue box of his." Rose nodded, her mother's words finally sinking into her head. The Doctor had forgiven her childish actions; now it was her turn to forgive herself. She looked at her mother again and said,
"There's something else." He mum waited patiently, letting her take her time. "I love 'im mum. I don't know how, or why, but I do. I love him so much and.. and he's so oblivious. I want to tell him-have gotten quite close a couple times-but I can never bring myself to do it mum." Jackie just smiled and shook her head,
"He's thick as a dirt that Doctor of yours. I don't think he'd know you loved him even if you told him." Rose smiled at her mother, but really didn't want to further the conversation and was glad when the Korean woman came back to tell them that it was time to pay. After paying they put on their shoes and headed outside. Rose tightened her jacket around herself, the Winter chill biting her skin. She checked her watch; 2:31. They had been out far longer than she had promised the Doctor. She just hoped that he had found something to occupy himself with.
The movie had just ended when Rose and Jackie walked through the door. "Oh hello!" He called, jumping from his seat and bounding into the room after the two females, "So how was it. Oh Rose your skin looks radiant." Rose laughed, a slight blush forming on her cheeks,
"We didn't go to the spa, we went to get our nails done you nutter." He smiled at her, loving that a simple compliment could give him that wonderful smile and gorgeous blush, "But thank you," She added. The end credits had been going on for a while now, the three of them totally oblivious to the music in the background. It wasn't until Jackie actually walked into the room to sit down when she asked,
"Doctor, were you watching the Titanic?" Rose's eyes grew the size of saucers and she ran, beating him into the sitting room. He was confused by their astonishment. Was he not allowed to be interested in a romance movie?
"Yes Jackie, I was watching the Titanic. Good movie that was. Poor Jack, died in the end, but of course you knew that. Greatest love story of all time, I see it now. Well, apart from Romeo and Juliet I suppose." Jackie rolled her eyes at his babbling, not even pretending to not be annoyed. The Doctor huffed and sat down beside Jackie. He was surprisingly tired, considering he didn't sleep all that often. He suddenly regretted telling Rose he'd go to her uncle's Christmas party. Although he rather liked parties, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to stay awake through it. Best not to think about that though. He was looking forward to the food. Jackie had said the one year they had a whole table full of nibbles. He loved nibbles.
"So Doctor, you're a fan of Titanic now?" Jackie asked him, that smile on her lips that he hated; A smile that indicated she knew something he didn't. He loathed the fact that Jackie Tyler knew something he was totally oblivious to.
"Not really no. Well, in a sort. Mmm.. kind of. It just doesn't seem fair, you know? God they share more love in a few days than most people do in their whole lives.. And then he's gone. And she's left all alone in the world with no way of ever seeing him again and she wishes she could but she just.. Can't." His sad, distant voice changed into himself when he added, "Loved the ending though. Brilliant! All up in Heaven waiting for her; Wasn't that romantic?" There was a pregnant pause, which Rose broke by asking,
"I'm gonna go make a cuppa. You want anything mum, Doctor?"
"I'll take a cuppa thanks sweetheart," Jackie said, nodding her head and smiling. Rose looked to the Doctor in question,
"None for me, thanks Rose," He said, smiling quickly as to not worry her. She bounced out of the room and into the kitchen. If the clinks and clanks were any indication, the Doctor guessed she was in search of a pot. He turned all his attention on Jackie. She was still wearing that smirk. God he despised that smirk.
"So Doctor; Did you really not like the movie, or did you just not like how much it reminded you of yourself and Rose?" The Doctor-now understanding the reason for the smirk-looked down at his trainers and back up at Jackie Tyler,
"I guess I'd have to choose the latter," He replied wistfully, the last word accented by his Scottish oriented pronunciation. There was no point in lying to Jackie Tyler; She was like the bloodhound of lies. Jackie sighed,
"Did I ever tell you how Pete and I got together?" The Doctor's eyebrows rose in astonishment. This was definitely not what he expected. He shook his head no, at a loss for words. "My friend Jolene had told me there was a man that worked at this chippy shop we went to almost everyday after work that fancied me. She said I should go up and introduce myself to him. But I really didn't want to. It wasn't like I expected him to be a bad bloke or anything. I had just gotten out of a bad relationship and Jolene thought putting myself back out there would help. It was the opposite that I wanted. I just wanted to be on my own for a bit, but she was so annoying I finally gave in and went to talk to him. But when I did he all but told me I was wasting my time and that we could never be together." Jackie paused, sighing at the memory, "I remember being so upset. It wasn't the fact that he rejected me; It was the fact that Jolene had told me he fancied me, but when he finally met me he all but threw me in the dust. I thought maybe it was because he thought I was pretty, but now that he'd met me he wanted as far away from me as possible. A few days past, and I avoided that chippy, too embarrassed to show my face in that place again. When Jolene asked to meet there after work, I couldn't say no. I didn't want to seem like a coward. So I went, and there he was, just like always. When he saw me though, he all but dove under the counter to hide from me. God I was so embarrassed, even though nobody knew anything about it." She paused again, obviously trying to think of where to pick up. The Doctor waited patiently for Jackie to take her time, but after several minutes he grew impatient. He wanted to know what this story had to due with Rose.
"So what happened next?" The Doctor asked with interest. Jackie picked up right where she left off.
"Jolene and I got some chips and began eating, talking about our jobs and catching each other up on what had been going on in the other's life, when suddenly she got a phone call. It was an emergency you see, and she got up and bolted, yelling a, 'Sorry, gotta run!' over her shoulder. I had sighed and finished eating the chips on my own. I layed some money on the table and got up to leave when that man came over to me. I had blushed and was right about to tell him to go away when he said these exact words, 'I'm sorry I said no to you yesterday. I don't want anything serious to happen between us because we can't be together.' I had been so confused, I had no idea what he was talking about. But I wanted to understand because it didn't seem fair not to even give me a chance." Jackie's eyes were kind when she said, "Pete had cancer when we met. He didn't tell me, but after some getting to know each other in the chippy, he asked me out. We went out a few times, and just when things were beginning to get serious he tells me he has cancer. But I stayed with him. I stayed by his side through the agonizing months, not sure if I could survive without him. Because what was the point in falling in love if he'd be taken away from me in the blink of an eye?" The Doctor gulped, finally making the connection. "But a few days before he was supposed to go into a surgery which would most likely in no way help him and could quite possibly kill him, I told Pete that I loved him for the first time. And he said it right back to me. And I said, 'Pete, if you are taken from me during that surgery, I will love you forever no matter what. I will never forget you. You will be in my heart, forever and always. And even though we haven't gotten to spend much time together, that's okay. Because you would be worth ever second of the heartbreak I'll be in for.' And he was. And when he went into that surgery, he came back out alive. What's more, he came out cancer free. The doctors couldn't even explain it." Jackie stopped and looked the Doctor strait in the eye, "And that was when I knew that God gave us a second chance. He gave us a few more wonderful years before he was taken from me. I was heart broken, but like I had told him all those years ago, he was definitely worth it. Do you get what I'm trying to drill into that impossibly thick head of yours Doctor?" The Doctor nodded, understanding her completely. Because Jackie was exactly right; If he was in love, he should act on it.
Holding it in was only going to make things worse and if he tried to fight it he'd only hurt himself. Because in truth, he loved Rose Tyler. More than that, he wanted to make her his Bond Mate. Such a sacred thing, to be Bond Mates, and yet he wanted that with Rose, even if it isn't possible to Bond with a human. He wanted it so bad that it scared him. Rose was absolutely worth the pain and heartbreak he was eventually going to experience when she was gone, and he couldn't believe it had taken him this long to figure that out. More so, he couldn't believe it was Jackie Tyler who had knocked the sense into him. His eyes flew up to Rose as she walked into the room and his breath caught in his throat, afraid she had heard them. But Jackie had been almost whispering, so how could she? She didn't seem to, considering she handed her mother her tea and held her own cup in between her hands, not speaking of what they had just said. Rose blew over the surface before taking a sip. There was a long silence, broken by Rose,
"I can't believe you guys can't have a conversation without me in the room. Honestly, it's like you're children. I was in there for a good seven to eight minutes and what do you do? Sit in here and stare at each other like complete gits." She took another sip of her tea, causing the Doctor to smile in triumph. She was showing definite sighs of fatigue, had been since she walked through the door yawning. Rose had downed her cup easily and sat next to the Doctor, pushing at his thighs with her hand, indicating he scoot over. When he did she plopped down next to him and buried her head into the crook that was formed in his arm due to it being draped across the chair. She sighed and snuggled into his chest. She was tired, he knew, and he touched her temple, taking her into a dreamless sleep. He wrapped his other arm limply around her waist, scooting into a more comfortable position despite the fact the the couch just wan't very comfortable. Jackie stood and looked at her watch, "You've got two hours alien boy. Then you both need up, okay? I'm gonna go have a quick shower. Be back in a tick." The Doctor nodded, not really paying attention to Jackie. All his attention was on the sleeping figure of Rose, so beautiful in slumber. He reached his arm that wasn't around her waist and stroked her hair. She sighed contently in her sleep, making the Doctor smile genuinely. He wouldn't fall asleep, no. He was going to watch Rose sleep, stroke her back whilst her mind was off in dream land. He couldn't think of anything else in the world that could further occupy him than this.