EN: Everyone, I'm sorry this is so late but I couldn't bring myself to face it for a long time. Once I left it alone, the idea of coming back was just horrific. So apologies, and here's the next chapter.
AN: I said stop flaming. I know his name isn't Tom Bombdil (EN: Yeah, tom Bombadil is from the Lord of the Rings. Which is really strange when you think about it, because I don't see you having enough grasp of English to read the Gruffalo let alone proper literature like Tolkien's masterpiece.) that was a mistake! (EN: Duh!) If you don't like the story then you can go screw yourself! YOU SUCK! (EN: Tara, you forgot to thank your goffik bff Raven. She might get mad and refuse to edit your story again. If that happens I will hunt you down. I swear it.)
"Hi," I said, flirting. (EN: Christ, is that all she ever does?) "I'm Ebony Way, the new student." (EN: You are in a pensieve, Ebony. He can't hear or see you.) I shook my pale hands with their black nail polish with him. (EN: Now Ebony is impersonating a dodo. Or her hands are just spazzing out.)
"The name's Tom," he said. "But you can call me Satan. That's my middle name." (EN: Well if 'Tom Marvolo Riddle' gets you 'I am Lord Voldemort', then 'Tom Satan Bombadil' would get you something like 'I am a Blonde Toast Mob' … Never mind.)
We shook hands. "Well come on, we have to go upstairs," Satan said. I followed him. "Hey Satan …do you happen to be a fan of Green Day?" (Since MCR and Evanescence don't exist yet then.) (EN: Tara, I doubt Green Day was around in the 40's either.) I asked.
"Oh my fucking god, how did you know?" Satan gasped. "Actually I like GC a lot too." (Get it? Because GC did that song "I just Want to Live" that sounded really 80's) (EN: 40's, 40's Tara!)
"Oh my God, me too!" I replied happily.
"Guess what! They have a concert in Hogsment," Satan whispered. (EN: Why are you whispering? Actually why are you talking? There's no-one there!)
"Hogsment?" I asked.
"Yeah, that's what they used to call it in these times before it became Hogsmeade in 2000," (EN: How would he know? THEY ARE IN THE PAST!) he told me all secretively, "and there's a really cool shop called Hot-"
" - Topic!" I finished, happy again.
He frowned confusedly. "No, it's called Hot Ishoo." He smiled secretively again. "Then in 1998 they changed it to Hot Topic," he moaned.
"Oh," now everything was making sense for me. (EN: Your logic is not normal people's logic. That makes no fucking sense!) "So is Dumbledore your principal?" I shouted. (EN: This is a really strange conversation. He's whispering and she's shouting. Both for no apparent reason.)
"Uh-huh," he looked at his black nails. (EN: Can't blame you, they're probably muchmore interesting than talking to the strange girl who isn't really there.) "I'm in Slytherin"
"Oh my fucking God, shit me too!" I shrieked.
"You go to this skull?"(Get it? Because I'm Gothic) he asked.
"Yeah, that's why I'm here, I'm new." I smiled.
Suddenly Dumbledore flew in on his broomstick and started shouting at us angrily. "NO TALKING IN THE HALLS!" he had short blonde hair and was wearing a polo shirt from American Eagle Outfitters. "STUPID GOTHS!"
Satan rolled his eyes. "He's so mean to us Goths and punks just because we're in Slytherin and we're not preps."
I turned around angrily. "Actually I think maybe it's because you're the Dark Lord." (EN: What's with the bi-polarness? She's actually been happy all chapter, then he says something she would agree with and she's all over his case. Hypocrite!)
"What the fuck?" he asked angrily.
"Oh, nothing," I said sweetly. (EN: Ebony, are you trying to get yourself killed? He's the Bark Lord, remember? Responsible for thousands of deaths? Besides aren't you supposed to be making him fall in love with you?)
Then suddenly … the floor opened. "OH MY FUCKING GOD, NO!" I screamed as I fell down. Everyone looked at me weirdly. (EN: Yes, finally! The ground opened up and swallowed her whole. My prayers have been answered!)
"Hey, where are you going?" Satan asked as I fell. (EN: The new student gets eaten by the school and you casually ask her where she's going? Really?)
I got out of the hole and I was back in the pensive in Professor Trelawney's classroom. Dumbledore was there. "Dumbledore, I think I just met you," I said.
"Oh yeah, I remember that," Dumbledore said, trying to be all Gothic. (EN: YOU WEREN'T REALLY THERE!)
Sinistra came in. "Hey, this is my classroom. Wait, what the fuck, Ebony, what the hell are you doing?"
"Um," I looked at her.
"Oh yeah, I forgot about that."
"What the Hell, how?" I screamed forgetting she was a teacher for a second. But she's a Goth so it's okay. (EN: Because only Goth teachers are sound people.)
Professor Sinistra looked sad. "Um, I was drinking Veritaserum," she started to cry black tears of depression. Dumbledore didn't know about them.
"Hey, are you crying tears of blood?" he asked curiously, touching a tear.
"Fuck off!" we both said and Dumbledore took his hand away.
Professor Sinistra started crying again in her chair, sobbing limpid tears. "Oh my fucking God, Ebony… I think I'm addicted to Veritaserum." (EN: On the bright side, at least you all know she's telling the truth.)