EN: I wanted to call this chapter "The One Where Liv Finally Gets Her Act Together" because that's really what it was but they wouldn't let me use so many letters. There are no words to describe how lazy I've been over the past several months in regards to this story, but Chapter 38's finally here. Between split personalities, character change names and many, many deleted "lulz", you might actually wish it wasn't.
AN: What does everyone think? Will I end the story and then I add some more to it after vacation? Oh yeah, and preps stop flaming if you don't like the story then take my quiz, okay? Then you will see if you're Gothic or not! (EN: You know Tara, everyone who doesn't like your story and says they aren't a prep isn't claiming to be a Goth either.
Satan and I walked to his car. It was a black car with pentagrams all over it. On the license plate it said 666 just like Draco's car. I climbed into it seductively. Stan started to drive it. We talked about Satanism (Lols, he was named after Satan) (EN: Oh Tara, you're so witty!), cuttting, music and being Gothic. (EN: That must have been a hell of a cheery conversation.)
"Oh my Satan, Gerard is so fucking hot!" Voldemort agreed as we smoked some weed. (Because Bi guys are hot. They are so sensitive. I love them, lol. goes and fucks a Bi guy.) (EN: That last bit longer to decipher than it really should have.)
"Lol, I totally decided not to commit suicide when I herd Helena." (EN: Do you only know one of their songs? Because I haven't heard you talk about anything other than Helena.) I said in a flirty voice. "Hey Satan, do you know the cure for when people are addicted to Veritaserum?" (EN: For the last fucking time, there is no such thing as a cure for addiction! You just have to give up!)
"Well…" he thought. "I think you have to drink Vampire blood." (EN: Well, at least they don't have to worry about getting their hands on it. Hogwarts seems to be absolutely crawling with the creatures at the moment.)
Suddenly Voldemort parked the car behind a black movie theatre. Satan and I walked outside. We went into the movie theatre where they were showing the Exorcist. In it a boy and a girl were doing it and suddenly a serial killer came, lol. (EN: I wondered whether to take the lol out because it was a typo or something, but then I remembered that Tara Gilesbie was writing this and she would be the type to laugh at a random serial killer on the loose.) Satan and I laughed at the blood because we're sadists.
While Satan was watching the movie, I had an idea. I sexily took Satan's Gothic black 'Nightmare Before Christmas' cigar from his pocket and put some Amnesia Potion on it. I put it back in his black Emily the Strange bag. Satan turned around and started to smoke it. Black clouds with red pentagrams in them started to fly around everywhere. (EN: I will grudgingly admit I'm impressed if he managed to do that on purpose, but on the other hand it's 'Satan'.)
"Oh my God!" Satan said jumping up. I gasped because I was afraid he'd noticed. "Ebony guess what?"
I knew that the Amnesia Potion had worked. (EN: … HOW? He just said three words!)
"Amnesia Potion has not been invented yet so it will not work," (EN: Okay, clearly you were wrong then. What haven't you been wrong about?) he said.
"Too bad because I wanted to use some on you." (EN: In my humble opinion, I wouldn't plead guilty if the future Dark Lord accused me of trying to drug him.)
"Cool." (EN: No comment.)
I raised my eye suggestively. And then … he sexily took off my clothes and we started to make out. I took of his shirt. He had six-pack just like Gerard Way! We frenched. (EN: And I'm assuming this is the same Gerard Way you want to be related to?)
"Excuse me, but you are going to have to leave!" shouted the lady behind us; she was a prep. (EN: Why do most of the sex scenes get interrupted? Does Tara just not know what comes after a certain point?)
"Fuck you!" I said. Suddenly … I attacked her, sucking all her blood.
"No!" she screamed. All the preps in the theatre screamed but everyone else clapped because Satan and I looked so cute together. Satan and I started to walk outside. (EN: No. Just no.)
"Oh my God, how did you do that?" Voldemort asked in a turned-on voice. (EN: Is it not obvious?)
"I'm a vampire," I said as we climbed into the car.
"Seriously?" he gasped.
"Yeah seriously," I said drinking some beer. Satan started to drive the car. I smiled happily. (EN: Tara had smelled instead of smiled here before. I stared at it for at least five minutes trying to figure out if she really meant what she said.)
"It's too bad we didn't get to see the rest of the movie, don't you think?"
"Yeah." I said as we kissed passionately. Satan parked in a black driveway next to the place where Draco and I had watched Good Charlotte for the first time. We went inside where Marylin Mason was playing and started to mosh.
"Anti-people now you've gone to far Jesus Christ Superstar!" screamed Marlin on the stage. We did the devil fingers. I started to dance really close to Satan. He was so sexy! He looked at me all Emo with his Gothic red eyes, and he looked exactly like Mikey Way. I almost got an orgasm! Suddenly Marylin Mason stopped singing.
"I would like to present … XBlackXTearsX!" he said. I ran to the stage. Lucius, Samaro, Snape and Hades were there. They started to play their instruments. I got onstage.
"Well if you wanted honesty that's all you had to say!" I sang. (I don't own the lyrics to that song.) My voice sounded like a pentagram between Amy Lee and a girl version of Gerard Way. Everyone clapped. Satan got an erection. "I'M NOT OKAY!" I sang finally. Suddenly Lucius started playing the song wrong by mistake.
"Oh my fucking God!" yelled James. "What the fuck?"
"Whoops, I'm sorry!" said Lucius.
"You fucking asshole!" James shouted angrily.
"You guys are such preps!" Snape said. "Come on, it was a mistake!"
"Yeah, it's not his fault!" said Sirius.
"No! He ruined the fucking song!" yelled Samaro.
"You guys stop!" I shouted angrily but it was to late. They all began to fight. Suddenly Samaro took out his knife.
"Oh my fucking God! No!" shouted Lucius, but it was to late. James tried to shoot off his arm.
And then … (EN: And the Ebony does something boring, predictable and incredibly stupid.) I jumped sexily in front of the bullet!
"No!" yelled everyone, but it was to late. (EN: Since everything seems to be happening too late this chapter, please contact your operator for lagging issues.) Suddenly everything went black.