Editor's Note- I've gotten vague glimpses of this chapter as I copied and pasted it. Wow. I'm assuming that shit's about to make a whole lot less sense. And that's worrying.
On the other side, Merry Christmas! Well, it's going to be after Christmas before this is uploaded, because Liv is smelly. It's the 23rd as I'm editing this.
-Light.
AN: To everyone who keeps flaming this, GET A LIFE! I bet you probably don't know who Gerard Way is. (EN- I do know who Gerard Way is. I can still song every song off his first three albums off by heart.) You're probably all preps and posers! (EN- Nope, I'm neither. Sorry to disappoint you.) Anyway, someone hacked into my account in November and they put up my last chapter, but now there is a new one. I'm sorry for not updating for a while but I've been really busy. I'm trying to finish the story before the new movie comes out. I'm going on vacation and I won't be back for about two weeks. OMFG, Draco is so hot in all the pictures for the new movie! I wanted them to put a cameo by Gerard Way, lol. (EN- What possible purpose could a cameo by Gerard Way have? Stupid girl.) He should play Draco. (EN- No. No he should not. Draco is a teenager. Gerard is about forty years old. No.) If you flame, I'll slit my wrists! (EN- I hope you have Ebony's unlimited wrist space.) Raven, you rock, girl. Have fun in England.
When I woke up I was in a strange room. I looked around. I was wearing the same outfit I had when I performed with XblackXTearX. I looked around in confusion. It was the Nurse's office, but it looked different! (EN- The Norse gods have an office in Hogwarts.) On the wall was a picture of Marilyn Manson! (just imagine that he is an 80s gothic band to, okay, (EN- No.) becausehe is older then Panic! at the Disco and MCR) (EN- Yes, he is, but how is that in anyway relevant?) There was also a gothic black Beatles calender with a picture of the Beatles wearing eyeliner and black clothes. (EN- WHAT?) On it said '1980.' (EN- The Beatles broke up in 1970. Y'know, since Lennon died and all.)
"Oh, my fucking God! I'm back in time again!" I screamed loudly. (EN- Sure, Ebony, announce at the top of your voice that you're a time traveller with no regard for who may be listening.) Suddenly Satan (this is actually Voldemort for photo references!), Voldemort was wearing a black leather jacket, black tight jeans and fishnet pants. (EN- HOW DOES THAT WORK? THE MENTAL IMAGES! =( ) He looked so sexy I almost had an orgasm. (EN- Not how orgasms works.)
"Oh, my fucking God. Ebony, are you okay?" He asked gothically. (EN- This is not a thing.)
"Yeah, I'm okay, for your information." I snapped sexily (EN- I actually want to murder you.) "Am I dead?" I asked, because I remembered I had jumped in front of the bullet from James' gun. (EN- I wish you were dead.) I also remembered seeing Draco doing it with Snape! (EN- KABOOM! That right there was the sound of my brain exploding.)
I guessed that when I had slit my wrists, I had went back in time instead of dying. (EN- Yes, because that's how time travel works. Why didn't the Doctor ever think of that?) I knew I could go forward in time if I found a time-turner or the time machine.
"No, you're not dead." Satan reassured me suicidally as he smoked a cigarette sexily and smoke came all over his face. (EN- This sentence made me both relieved and disappointed that the room I'm in is on the ground floor and the fall wouldn't hurt me.) "You're a vampire, so you can't die from a bullet. (EN- How does he know you got shot?!) Come on, now, let's go see how Harry's dad is doing." (EN- HARRY ISN'T BORN YET!)
I knew that the real reason I didn't die from the bullet was because I was from the future. (EN- Not how time travel works.) "What the fuck?! James almost shot Lucius!" I said indignantly. I knew that James had really been possessed, but I didn't want him to know I knew. (EN- I'm actually really relieved I don't know what happened in the last chapter.)
"Yeah, I know, but he had a headache he was under a lot of stress." Satan reasoned evilly. (EN- I'll even ignore the 'reasoned evilly'. Instead I'm just going to comment on how in Tara's world, a headache is a perfect viable excuse to attempt murder.)
"I guess that's ok." I said because James hadn't really shot Lucius. (EN- WHAT?) Also, I know that Lucius would now have two arms instead of one. (EN- Okay, I am SO confused right now it's not even funny.) I walked seductively outside with Satan. Suddenly I saw a totally sexy gothic bi guy! (EN- Because Ebony's gaydar is so good she can spot a bisexual emo kid from a mile away.) He had bleached blond hair with black streaks up to his ears and he was wearing gothic black eyeliner, a black Green Day shirt (It showed Billie Joe with blonde hair since it was the eighties), (EN- Green Day was only established with that name in 1989 and it was the 90s when they actually got famous, you stupid bitch.) black converse shoes and black baggy pants. He walked in all sexily like Gerard way in the video for I Don't Love You (EN- I'm assuming that's what 'I Don't 3 u lyk I did yesterday' was meant to be. I also remember very little walking by Gerard in that video) and you could see a black tear on his face like the women in that video. "Hey." He said, quietly and gothically.
"Who the fuck is that?" I asked angrily, because I didn't know him. (EN- YOU WERE JUST CHECKING HIM OUT, YOU BIPOLAR ASS HAT.)
"This is…Hedwig!" Said Voldemort. (EN- o.O) He used to be in XBlackXTearX to but he had to drop out because he broke his arm. (En- He could have just taken a hiatus...)
"Hey Hedwig." I said seductively, even though I wasn't trying to be. (EN- *headdesk, *headdesk, *headdesk. I hate this girl.)
"Lol, hi Ebony." He replied, but then he ran away because he had Care of Magical Creatures. He was humming "Welcome to the Black Parade" under his breath ( I know that it's not 80s, but pretend it is, ok?!) (EN- No. I refuse to adhere to your bullshit.)
"Bye." I said, sexily.
" He used to be my boyfriend, but we broke up." Satan said sadly, looking at his black nails. (EN- GAH!)
"Oh, my fucking God, I can get you back together!" I said (EN- please don't) playing with something I didn't know was in my pocket- a black Cute is What We Aim For video iPod that I could take videos with (Does anyone else know about them? They kick ass!). (EN- No, we haven't heard of them. But that might be because they don't actually exist.)
"Ok, you can forget about your class for now, Hedwig. I'm going to show you something great!" (EN- Hedwig already left, you idiot.) I led them to the Great Hall. "Come on, you guys."
Lucius, James, Sirius and Snape were all in the Great Hall. Lucius wouldn't talk with James because he had tried to shoot him. (EN- Y'know, I think that's the most reasonable thing that anyone has done in this whole story.)
"Go fuck yourself, you fucking douche!" he shouted at him. (En- I thought he wasn't talking to him? "Draco is never going to b friends with Vampire now!" (EN- NEITHER OF THEM ARE BORN YET!)
"Yeah, go fuck yourself, Samaro!" Snape agreed but I know he was lying because it had been his fault James had almost shot Lucius.
"Be quiet, you guys." I said sexily. My plan was working out great. (EN- What plan?!) Now I could make Voldemort good without doing it with him! (EN- but nothing but Ebony's whoreish gaping vagina can stop people turning evil!) Now Vampire's dad would never die.
"Okay, Satan and Hedwig, you guys can start making out." I said and I started to film them with the iPod. (EN- =0. One, they don't need your permission. Two, they've broken up! How is this shit happening?)
"Cool." said Sirius as Voldemort and Hedwig started to make out sexily. We watched as they started to take each others cloves off sexily. (EN-... They are in public. Being watched. And recorded. In the Great Hall.) Samaro, Sirius, Snape and Lucius all watched because they were probably bi. I know Snape was bi. (EN- Is there nobody straight any more? It's like Ancient Greece, just stupider. A lot stupider.)
"Oh my fucking, God! Voldemort! Voldemort!" screamed Hedwig as his cock touched Voldemort's. (EN- Voldemort who I don't think is going by the name Voldemort at this point.)
But suddenly everything stopped as the door opened and in came…Dumbledore and Mr. Filch! (EN- Well, yeah. You guys ARE in the middle of the GREAT HALL.)
Editor's Note- If I didn't only have one more chapter of this I would give up after that chapter. It physically pained me and disturbed me to ridiculous levels. Goddammit, Tara. Goddammit.
One chapter left for me, guys!
=O
-Light.