Blaze & Grey Law Firm by Batman100
Chapter 2: The Case is Out, but the Jury's in
Ghost Rider got up with a guttural yawn and stretched his back before getting into his typical biker's uniform and instantly switched to a nicely dressed Italian suit courtesy of a holo-clothes device by Forge.
"Heh; this gizmo works like a charm. Now only if that would work on Logan's garage…" GR muttered as he entered his business partner's room and couldn't help but chuckle as Jean was snuggled in her satin bed, snoring away, clutching her plush teddy bear. "I cannot resist. The expression on her face is gonna be priceless!" GR snickered mischievously as he snuck toward Jean with a megaphone. Just as Jean was about to roll over…
"GOOODDD MORNNNIN' VIETTTNAAAAMMMMM" Ghost Rider bellowed loudly, the effect shattering all the windows in the mansion and unexpectedly, the dashboards on Logan's motorcycle
"Geez! Johnny, what the hell's wrong with you?! Next time, warn us before you do that!" Rogue grouched, hurling a shoe at GR's head before stomping off
"Sheesh, what a grouch." GR muttered, turning back to his partner, but only to face palm in disgust as Jean was still deep in dreamland. "Well, like my uncle always said, if you want somethin' done right, best to do it yourself." GR groaned, as he carried the slumbering Phoenix over to their newly decorated office labeled 'Blaze & Grey: Attorneys at Law for Hire'
Three hours later…
"Man, this stinks." GR groaned, tapping his ink pen. It was a quarter to 8, Jean was still asleep on the sofa, the phones haven't responded, and so far not a single customer had bothered to show up, until right on cue, a rhythmic tapping on the door echoed
"Finally." GR uttered to himself before echoing, "Come in." And who entered but the Ragin' Cajun hisself, Remy LeBeau. "Oh, good morning Gambit. Please take a seat. And, uh excuse my partner, Jean here. She's um… a bit hungover from last night." GR explained as Remy sat himself down
"Gotta admit man, this is a nice office y'all have. Spiffy like a smooth houseboat." Gambit mused, amazed by the décor of the office before speaking "I need the both of youse to do me a favor."
"Who's got a fever?" Jean sleepily muttered, yawning as she rubbed her eyes before seating next to her skeletal partner
"Not fever, favor. There's this weirdo neighbor o' mine that keeps complaining on me using my leaf blower. I think he's discriminating rights of nature." Gambit explained as the two had a huge flabbergasted look
"Hold on; lemme get this straight: you want us to help you sue a cranky uptight neighbor over you using your leaf blower? That's the craziest thing I've ever heard!" Ghost Rider cackled uproariously
"You'll have to excuse him Remy. He can be a little insensitive." Jean whispered
"I HEARD THAT!" GR bellowed
"Um; perhaps you'd hear it better from Abe, George and Ulysses?" Remy bargained slyly, waving 3 $100 bills in front of GR's face. Dollar signs were visible in both his and Jean's eyes. After a pause, Jean answered… "We'll take it."
Later that day…
"You sure about this, Jean? I don't want to creep the guy out. I mean, don't you think it may seem a bit, um odd for a mutant like you and a skeleton to be lawyers?" GR nervously asked as the two walked toward the house of the person in question
"Trust me, just follow my lead and it'll be ok. And believe me, he's probably just some big fat hunk of…" Jean drawled as the door opened, not to reveal a disheveled, raggedy fat drunk but only far worse: a decomposing, blobby, stomach-bulging man with a loose eye socket, a disgusting long scar across his forehead to his cheek and a large bulging fungus on his chest. Jean looked like she was about to vomit.
"Uh… Mr. Omar Gutenberg, I presume?" GR asked sheepishly, trying to hold in the bile that was visibly rising through his bony neck.
"Yeh, dat's me, so whattaya want, matey? Ar ar, yuhugg." Omar heaved, spewing large chunks of green-blackish slime all over his porch. It was then Jean couldn't hold it.
"You ok Jeannie? You look a bit queasy… Uh oh." GR finally realized as she immediately dove for a trash can and started bowing to the trash goddess like crazy
"Heyy… aren't you pals with dat LeBeau feller? That damn sumbitch keeps messin' up wit' me gardening! Damn stinkin Cajun bilge rat!" Omar snarled, a rifle behind his back
"What do you garden anyway?" GR asked, unaware of the shocking answer he was about to get "I plant skunk carcasses. They help keep my eels healthy. You want one?" Omar sneered, holding a rotting skunk by GR's face. The brimstone biker finally snapped.
"Ok… that does it. Gutenberg, you've just earned your ass a one-way ticket to HELL!" GR roared, unleashing hell as he blasted Gutenberg to heck with rapid bullets from his machine gun. The chaos culminated in a major explosion as an empty beer bottle collided with a gas line
BLAMMMMMMM! BA-DOOOOMMMM!
"I just love the smell of burnt lard-ass in the morning." GR cackled maniacally as a woozy Jean staggered to his side.
"What… happened? Did you talk to him?" Jean asked, completely unaware of what really happened and more importantly, Jean didn't notice the two eels making a meal out of Gutenberg's now fried to a crisp corpse.
"Let's just say his case went out with a bang. I don't think he'll be causing any more trouble." GR chuckled slyly as Jean eyed him strangely "How can you be sure?" Jean asked
"Let me put it this way: How good are you with studying mutant homicide maniacs?" GR asked
Later, at the Bayville Municipal Courthouse…
"The State of New York vs. a Mr. Tyrone Lee Johannesburg and a Mr. Earl Rayburn LaBelle IV." The bailiff echoed as the court jury was seated, with the defendants as well. Ghost Rider and Jean were seated in the attorney section; Jean wearing a nicely clothed Armani suit and cuff-collared pants. Ghost Rider, being classy as usual went for a double-breasted black Armani suit with a nicely fashioned forties fedora to top it off.
"Mr. Blaze, your clients have been charged for third-degree murder of a Mr. Omar Haynes Gutenberg of the town of Bayville, Salem Center. How do you respond?" the judge asked as the brimstone biker rose to the occasion
"Just follow my lead and we'll get the payroll in no time." GR whispered to Jean before making his address "Your Honor, with all due respect; my clients here are as guilty as they should be. They are here today, for killing a horribly disfigured, but totally misunderstood and misanthropic man in cold blood. I watched, with the look of horror on my face, when these, these immoral, pathetic, irredeemable sons of bitches blew that nicely built house of said person up in smoke like it was the Fourth of July! And that, ladies and gents of the jury, is EXACTLY! WHY! THESE TWO! ARE! GUILTY!" GR powerfully concluded, earning a well-deserved standing ovation of applause from the jury, even a more outstanding one from Jean herself
"Order! Order here! This ain't the Abraham Lincoln speech!" The judge rambled, before realizing the inevitable fate that would happen upon saying that to GR himself. The judge simply gave a thumbs-up to the skeleton biker, acknowledging his testimony. "Thank you Mr. Blaze. Now we would like to hear from the second presiding witness to this act: Mister Remy Étienne Jacques Cougar Gaston Armando Renoir Jean-Claude Giuseppe Amore Achill Aubergiene LeBeau, Esquire." The judge echoed as Gambit himself strode into the court, dressed in a smoothly sewn tuxedo with a flowingly suave long coat and a spiffy Lincoln top hat.
"Huh; and I thought Magneto dressed flamboyantly." Jean muttered, embarrassed by her co-worker's unfazed and seemingly outrageous dress style. GR couldn't agree more. "How the hell did he get esquire in the title?" GR asked "Don't ask." Jean muttered
Later that evening…
"Ahhh, how I love the sound of flipping lovely green dollars together. It makes such soothing music." GR sighed amusingly, as he flipped a quarter. Jean was slumped over the sofa, eyes nearing shut-down.
"GR, can we please call it a night? I…I need my beauty sleep." Jean muttered, trying not to succumb to the sandman's seducing wiles
"Aw c'mon hon, you've stayed up late before. What makes you think you possibly cannot… Oh." GR uttered in between chuckles and awe as Jean was lost in blissful slumber, sucking her thumb as she slept, psychic Z's visibly floating over her head. "Well, then again you're right. We have more work in the morning." GR yawned, placing a satin blanket over Jean before leaning in and smooching her on the forehead "Nite sweetheart. Love ya."