This one is a bit more angsty than usual - things will change A LOT after this chapter, just hang in there! :)

Oh, and HUGE nods to (and some blatant stealing of lines from, but some of this stuff you just can't change) Notting Hill at the end. Still one of the best movies ever, I figured if I'm gonna pay homage to it I'm not leaving out the best-known line from the film! :)

I do not own "Once Upon a Time" OR "Notting Hill".

Chapter 12

The next morning, Bae entered Nick's apartment. "Dad? Are you doing okay?" Bae called out.

"Just fine." Nick replied from down the hall. He came out of his bedroom – he was dressed in a black suit with a deep red shirt and a black tie.

"What the hell are you wearing?" Bae asked.

"A suit." Nick replied.

"Why? It's Sunday. The shop is closed and even if it weren't – this isn't exactly daily wear for you unless you're doing something special." Bae said.

"Who's to say I'm not? Why are you here?" Nick asked.

"Because you stormed out of the wedding all upset last night, and Emma told me what you talked to her about, and I just wanted to make sure you were holding up okay."

"I do have a phone Bae, you could have called me. I'm fine." Nick said.

"So you gonna tell me what the suit is for then?" Bae asked.

"I have a meeting in town." Nick said.

"With who?" Bae asked.

"That's not your concern." Nick said.

"Dad, you've got the same look on your face that you always had before – well, before everything happened. Don't tell me you're going back to all that crap." Bae said.

"Regina just wants me to broker a deal for her. One deal. It'll give me something to do to distract me."

"Distract you? Jesus dad, it's been three months, she's not coming back. After all you've been through, after all you've done, I'm not going to let you trash your entire life for that selfish little bitch Belle French!" Bae shouted at him.

"Shut up! Shut the hell up!" Nick screamed, and he grabbed Bae angrily by the collar and shoved him against the wall. Within seconds he let Bae go and backed away. "Bae, I'm sorry. Oh god, I'm so sorry." Nick said, his voice trembling. Bae was quiet for a moment.

"You know what dad? You want to trash your life over this girl? Be my guest. I don't give a shit anymore what you do." Bae said angrily, and he stormed out the door. Nick leaned against the wall and fought back tears. He regained his composure after a few minutes and went into his living room. He sat down and took out his phone and dialed.

"Hi – it's um – Nick Gold. I know I haven't called in awhile, I haven't really needed to and I know it's a Sunday but – I think I'm in trouble and I need to talk to someone. You will? You remember where it is? Alright. Thank you so much." Nick said. He hung up the phone and sighed.

About an hour later, Nick answered his door. "Dr. Hopper – come in." Nick said.

"It's good to see you Nick. And I've told you before, please call me Archie." Dr. Hopper said. "You look well. I thought you had been doing well."

"I was but – well, circumstances have altered." Nick said, and he and Dr. Hopper went into the living room and sat down. "I um – I almost made a very big mistake today. And I got very angry with my son because of something that he said to me. I wanted to react violently, just like I did with Jones. To my own son. I stopped myself but – it made me realize that – I can't do this alone."

"What's going on?" Dr. Hopper asked.

"There's this girl – I'm in love with her. And I need to get over her, and I don't know how to do that." Nick said. He began to tell Dr. Hopper everything about Belle, from how they met, to their first parting, to their glorious week together and her leaving with barely a goodbye. Dr. Hopper listened closely, jotting down a few notes on occasion. "So – what do I do?" Nick asked when he finished.

"Well, honestly? I think you need to do one of two things – get some kind of closure to this. Find a way to get in touch with her and say your peace. Or just – let go. Mourn the relationship like you would any other death, and move on."

"I've already tried the latter, it's not working. And I don't know how to reach her." Nick said.

"I think you need to give it more time. You obviously love this girl very much, a few months isn't going to be enough to move on from this. I really think personal contact will help, there has to be some way to find her." Dr. Hopper paused for a moment. "Nick – without breaking any doctor/patient confidentiality – I've had my share of actors and actresses come to me for counseling, some of them pretty well known. And they're people – just like anyone else. They just happen to be famous. But they have the same problems as anyone. I don't want to presume to psychoanalyze this girl without meeting her but – based on what you've told me, I'd venture to guess that she feels the same way about you that you do about her. She just doesn't know how to deal with that because – well, because you're not part of the world she's in. It's sometimes tough for people who are famous to step out of the bubble of Hollywood, and when they do, if something happens to cause that bubble to burst, their first instinct is to act defensively without thinking about the ramifications. I'm not excusing what she did, I'm just – making an observation."

"I know she was already on edge – I think the paparazzi at the door pushed her over. I know what it's like to be pushed over the edge." Nick said.

"Yes you do. Listen, I'm glad you called. You gonna back off of this deal?" Dr. Hopper asked.

"Yeah. Can you call Bae for me please? Let him know that we met and – well, that I didn't slip up, so to speak. I'm not sure he'd believe me right now." Nick said.

"Be glad to." Dr. Hopper said. "I think you might need a few more follow-up appointments – call my office tomorrow and set that up."

"Yeah. I'll do that. Thanks." Nick said.

"I still think you need to find a way to get in touch with the girl. It's the only way you're really going to resolve this and put an end to it." Dr. Hopper said.

"That's the problem. I'm not sure I can. You see, I – I still want her back. Despite everything – I still love her. And I think if we tried we could work through this." Nick said.

"That's always an option as well. But you'll never know if you don't get in touch with her." Dr. Hopper said.

The next morning, Regina stormed angrily into Nick's shop. "Regina. Shall I move some things aside, give you some space for your rage?"

"Where the HELL were you yesterday? I waited with Albert Spencer for over an hour, and let me tell you that was NOT a pleasant experience for me." Regina said furiously.

"Probably an even less pleasant experience for Mr. Spencer, I would presume." Nick quipped. "I changed my mind."

"I tried calling you several times and you didn't even have the decency to answer your phone." Regina said.

"Yes, well decency has never been one of my better qualities, has it dearie?" Nick reminded her. "I had a weak moment but – I'm better now. And I won't be dealing with you, or Mr. Spencer, or anyone involved in that toxic lifestyle ever again."

"You know I don't like it when people screw me over, Nick. Just ask my mother." Regina said.

"Is that a threat, dearie?" Nick asked.

"It's whatever you want it to be." Regina moved toward the door. "Oh, and by the way – that little visit the paparazzi paid to you and your girlfriend at your apartment a few months back – you're welcome." she said, and she walked out the door. Nick stood stoic and fuming for several moments, then he moved to the center of the store. He lifted up his cane and angrily swung it at one of the shelves of antiques, and they went crashing to the ground. Nick continued to swing his cane for several minutes, destroying quite a few of the items in his store. Bae entered the store while he was still rage-fully lashing out with his cane.

"Dad! Stop it!" Bae shouted, and he grabbed Nick from behind and forced him to drop the cane. "Calm down." Nick breathed hard for several minutes, still filled with rage, until he finally settled down. "Dr. Hopper said you called him – what were you doing?"

"Regina – Bae, she – she's the one who called the press. If it hadn't been for her, Belle and I would still be -"

"You'd still be what? Together? You really think so?" Bae asked.

"Well we sure as hell would have had a better shot at it if it hadn't been for that!" Nick shouted. Bae handed the cane back to Nick, and led him into the back room, and they sat down at the table. "I'm sorry, Bae. I'm so sorry, my boy." he said, his voice trembling.

"It's okay, dad. You called Dr. Hopper and I'm proud of you for that. This – little rampage of yours was a bit of a setback but we'll work through it, okay? But you have to promise me – no more dealing with Regina." Bae said.

"Bae, she won't let it go. She keeps persisting – short of killing her I don't know how to stop it, and trust me, after what she just told me I haven't completely ruled that option out." Nick said.

"I'll figure something out – there has to be a reason why she's so insistent on getting you back. Let me handle things, okay? I have enough business connections, I can find out what's going on with her."

"Okay." Nick replied. Bae's phone rang, and he checked the caller ID and answered.

"Hey, honey. What? Are you sure? Alright, alright, just stay calm. I'll be right there. Yeah I love you too." Bae hung up the phone. "Shit." he said.

"What's wrong?" Nick asked.

"Emma's in labor." Bae said.

"I thought she wasn't due for three more weeks." Nick said.

"Well apparently Henry wants to make an early appearance. You coming?" Bae asked.

"Of course." Nick said, and he left with Bae.

Nick sat with Ruby in the waiting room of the hospital. "Daddy – I have something to give you."

"What is it, Ruby?" Nick asked.

"Well I know how much you miss Belle and everything and I was talking to mom about it and -"

"You told your mother about this? Ruby for god's sake, can't you keep quiet about anything, you're just like her sometimes." Nick said with an angry tone.

"She was really nice about it. She feels bad about what happened." Ruby said.

"Right. Bullshit, she feels bad." Nick said.

"Well, she does. Anyway – she and Killian are friends with one of the cameramen for the movie Belle is filming. She gave me his number. He can probably get you in touch with Belle." Ruby said. She took a piece of paper out of her purse and handed it to him. "I know you miss her, and yeah, what she did was pretty bad, but – maybe she misses you too. Why don't you call." Ruby said. Nick took the paper and put it in his wallet, not saying a word. Bae came out into the waiting room several minutes later.

"I have a son. Emma and I have a son!" Bae said, his eyes welling up with tears.

"Oh, Bae – congratulations my boy." Nick said, and he and Ruby both got up and hugged Bae.

"Are they okay?" Ruby asked.

"Emma's doing fine – she's on pain meds right now but she'll be pretty sore from the c-section for a while. And Henry – wait'll you see him. He's perfect." Bae said.

"He's alright? Even though he was early?" Nick asked.

"He still weighed in at seven pounds. He was ready to make his appearance. He's fine." Bae said. "Come on – I want you to meet him." Nick and Ruby followed Bae, happy to meet the newest member of the Gold family.

Later that night, Nick arrived at home after spending the day at the hospital with Bae and Emma. His grandson was perfect. Dark hair, just like his father, but he resembled Emma quite a bit. Nick thought about how just yesterday he was on the verge of once again throwing away everything that he had worked for. He wouldn't let that happen again. He was going to do everything in his power to avoid that kind of temptation – for his beautiful grandson.

But what about Belle, he thought. God, he still missed her. But Dr. Hopper was right – he had to resolve that as well. He had to contact her, or he had to let her go. He took the phone number that Ruby gave him out of his wallet and stared at it for several minutes. He kept staring at it as he went into the kitchen . His cup – their cup – was sitting on the counter. He still couldn't bear to part with that – not yet. He picked the cup up and put it in the back of the cupboard – at least keeping it out of view was a step in the right direction, he thought. He then looked down at the phone number in his hand once again. After pondering the situation for several minutes, he tore the paper into several pieces and threw it in the trash.

August Booth cracked open the door to Belle's trailer. "Can I come in?" he asked as he peeked his head inside.

"Yeah." Belle said, and she wiped her eyes with a tissue. She had been crying – again.

"You were – pretty amazing in that last scene. You might be looking at an Oscar nod here." August said as he sat down next to her. Belle gave him a tiny smirk.

"Thanks." she said quietly.

"You know, when you first started working on this film, I thought – 'wow, Belle French is a method actor, never would have figured that' because you were always crying and moody and you really kind of kept yourself isolated from everyone and that's a lot of who this character is. But now that I've gotten to know you – this isn't about being method, is it?" August asked.

"No." Belle said quietly.

"It's about that guy – the one you were staying with when those pictures came out. Isn't it?" August asked. Belle nodded.

"I love him so much." Belle said, and she fought back more tears.

"Who is he?" August asked.

"His name is Nick. He's a shop owner in SoHo – I met him totally by accident, I was just doing some window shopping and went into his store, and then later he accidentally bumped into me on the street and spilled tea all over me – he didn't even know who I was. He doesn't even really watch the movies that often. I don't know why I was so drawn to him but – well I was. From the moment I met him, actually. If he hadn't spilled tea on me I probably would have gone into his shop the next day. It's funny – I was only shopping for clothes, and he owns a craft and antique store, I don't even know why I went in there in the first place, but – something drew me there when I walked by. It was like it was kismet – fate, you know."

"Have you talked to him?" August asked.

"No. I left his place in a panic and in such a hurry – I didn't even say goodbye, really. It all just happened so fast, and then I had to do that interview with you and I was so worried about the bad press and that you wouldn't want me to do the film. I was stupid and selfish and I know I probably hurt him so much. I don't even know what to say to him now." Belle said, and she began to sob.

"How about what you just said to me? That would be a good place to start." August said. "The film wraps in a week – you have any plans after that?"

"I'm going to Australia from here for a couple of weeks to visit my dad, I haven't seen him in over a year. Then I have to go to New York for a couple of events, then back to LA. I have some business to take care of and some interviews to do and events to attend. Then after that I – I don't know, really. Sit in my house and feel sorry for myself?" August laughed a bit.

"I guess you could do that. Would be kind of pointless but – okay, I guess." August said. "Belle, I wish you would have told me all this. For some reason people think that I'm some rigid dictator on the set, I don't know how that rumor got started." Belle smiled a bit.

"Probably someone who's jealous of your success."

"Probably all of those big name Hollywood corporations that I refuse to kowtow to. They consistently churn out shit and they just can't figure out how I'm a success without some billionaire backing my projects. I'd rather rely on private investors and my own money, I'm not going to be some corporate shill's puppet."

"And your movies are the better for it. I think people realize that. Those idiots in the suits underestimate the general public – they'll spend money on a good film if it's a good story, they don't need all the CGI and special effects all the time to make a profit." Belle said.

"So anyway – back to this guy. You said you're stopping in New York. You gonna go see him?" August asked.

"I want to. I'm scared." Belle admitted.

"Of what? That he'll tell you to go to hell?"

"Well, yeah – I'm scared he hates me. I'm scared he won't want to see me. And I'm scared that he will. I'm scared for him if he says he'll take me back. August, he's a very sweet man, and a very private man. But he has a past. A dark past. If the press gets a hold of any of that they'll decimate him, just because he's with me, that's not fair. He also – he's older than me by twenty years. He looks a bit older than he is though. He walks with a cane, he had an accident some time ago and the injury is permanent. And he's um – well, I think he's absolutely beautiful and gorgeous but – he's not a conventionally handsome man. You know how cruel the press is. I don't want him to get hurt by any of that."

"Have you talked about any of this with him? Asked him how he felt about all of this? Explain to him what will happen if he's with you? Or are you just assuming that he's not willing to make that sacrifice for you?" August asked.

"I guess I just assumed. That was pretty stupid of me, wasn't it?" Belle said.

"Assuming is what the Hollywood press makes its living on – and you know how reliable they are." August said. "Listen, Belle – you're an amazing actress. When I said I thought that you might get an Oscar nod for this role, I wasn't just saying that just to say it. I think it'll happen. Not only that – I think you'll win, and that will open up doors in your career that most actresses don't even get to see. But if you really love this guy like you say you do – he's not the only one that will have to make adjustments in his life. You can't expect him to be the one to make all of the changes and just drop his whole lifestyle for you. You have to decide what you're willing to sacrifice for him – even if that means your career. Do you love him enough to do that?"

"Yes. I do." Belle said.

"Then tell him." August said. "Otherwise you just wasted four months of tears." Belle smiled at him a bit.

"Thank you." Belle said, and she gave August a hug.

"Just make sure I get a wedding invitation." he said.

"If there is one, you'll be on the top of my list." Belle said.

"I need you back on the set in an hour. Go get your makeup redone." August said, and he left the trailer. Belle thought about calling Nick right then – then she figured he'd probably hang up on her. It was only a few more weeks. She could give him what she'd been working on in her spare time as a gift, and maybe there would be hope for them. Just maybe.

Nick sat next to Henry's crib which was behind the counter in his shop as he changed the boy's diaper. "I know your mother told you to do this, didn't she? She said you were ready for a nap, you would be – well, good as gold, no pun intended – and then she leaves and you cry and fuss and make a mess of yourself. You're supposed to do that nonsense for your parents, not your grandpa." Nick said to him. He finished putting the diaper on and lifted the boy into his arms. "There we are. Next time your mother tells you to misbehave for me, you don't listen to her." he said. "We'll see how much she likes it when your grandpa Nick buys you a drum kit for your tenth birthday." Nick continued to fuss over Henry when the door to his shop opened. Nick set the boy back in his crib and walked up to the counter. "Can I help you?" he asked the woman, who was wearing a hat and sunglasses and carrying a large package with her. She turned to look at him.

"Hi." she said quietly.

"Belle." he said as she removed her had and glasses. A look of surprise came over him.

"I just wanted to come by and say hello." she said as she set the package against the counter. She noticed the crib behind him. "Is that -"

"My grandson. Yes." Nick said. "Bae and Emma needed some time to do a bit of shopping and I told them I'd watch him for the day." Nick picked the boy up and carefully walked over to Belle. "Henry, I'd like you to meet someone – this is Belle, she and your grandpa are – good friends." he said, and he looked up at her and smiled.

"May I?" Belle asked.

"Of course." Nick replied, and Nick handed the boy to her. Belle smiled and cooed at Henry.

"Hi there, Henry." Belle said, and she looked up at Nick. "I think he looks a bit like you."

"Let's hope not too much." Nick said. "How are you?"

"Fine." Belle replied. "You?"

"Doing alright. How was the filming?" Nick asked.

"The shoot went well. I went down to Australia for a couple of weeks afterward, visited my dad and some of my friends back there."

"That's nice." Nick replied. Belle handed Henry back to Nick, and set the boy down in his crib.

"Nick, I – I wanted to apologize in person for – well, for what happened at your apartment that day. My behavior was – unacceptable. I had no right to act that way, and I should have called you after but I was embarrassed and – well, ashamed, especially after the interview I gave. I didn't think you'd want to hear from me again. I've had great deal of time to think about things and – well, I just wanted you to know that I am deeply, truly sorry for the way I treated you, and I hope you can forgive me." Belle said.

"Well it – it was hurtful, yes. Very much. But I do understand what it's like to have your entire world implode around you. I've done and said regrettable things myself in similar circumstances. Of course, not with the entire world watching but – well, I – I accept your apology. Thank you." Nick said. Belle smiled at him.

"This is for you, this package. I made it during my down time in Ireland. You can open it later. I, um – I have to go back to Los Angeles today for a couple of weeks, I have some press to do and some business to take care of. After that I'm taking a few months for myself and – well I was thinking about coming here to New York and if I did I was wondering if – maybe we could see each other a little bit. Or a lot." Belle said.

"Belle, I – would it be alright if I just said no to your kind request?" Nick said.

"Yes – yes, I – I understand." Belle said.

"You see, I – I had to completely reinvent my life after my meltdown and accident, and I've been very happy and content until – well, I've come to realize that I don't handle any sort of emotional upheaval in the best way, and I just don't want to be put in another situation where that is a risk factor. Your world – with the movies and the press and all of the bullshit that goes with it – I just don't fit in that world, Belle, and I think you've realized that all along. You've already had to leave me twice because of that and – I just don't think I could bear losing you a third time. You see, you're – well, you're everywhere and I'm – well, I'm here. There are just too many pictures and movies and reminders of you."

"It's okay, I – I understand." Belle said. She turned to leave then stopped, and turned back to face Nick. "You know, the fame thing – it isn't real. It may be what I do, but – it doesn't define who I am. Right now, you have to remember that in this moment I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her." Belle walked over to Nick and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "It was really good to see you, Nick. You take care of yourself, alright?" Belle touched his cheek as she pulled away, then she turned and left. Nick took a deep breath as he fought back tears, then picked up the package that Belle left for him and opened it. It was a hand-made tapestry of their chipped cup – the details were precise, and he knew that she had to have done it completely from memory.

"Oh, Belle." Nick said to himself, and the tears he had been struggling to hold back came flowing down his cheek.

Well, I got some feedback in my last chapter from a couple of readers that don't seem to like my version of Belle. This is an AU and yes, my Belle is flawed but I just don't see her as a bad person, sorry, and I'm hoping that the end of this chapter may have changed some minds and the next chapter will do so even more. I'm happy with the direction my story is going and I've gotten much positive feedback and I do thank you for that! Thank you also for those who came to my defense against the criticism!

I'm very open to constructive criticism and will take it into consideration whether or not I agree with it, but ranting and raving, dissertation-length "reviews" that scream at me about how much they hate a FICTIONAL character do not influence or impress me in any way. No one is forcing anyone to read this or any other fanfic. I just have never understood the need to unleash vitriol on a fanfic writer as if what you don't like about their story is a personal affront. If you find a fanfic and you enjoy it, then read it; if you don't, don't. The lashing out in anger truly baffles me.