Ah, so this one took a while, but here we are again with more Evans family shenangins~ Major thanks to both K and Ness for being wonderful and looking this over for me! Also this one is dedicated to Wings whose birthday was on Friday!

That one time Nan learns how to text (thanks to Wes) and begins regularly texting both Maka and Soul.

Everything had been going well. Soul and Wes were talking and rebuilding their relationship. Nan called every week to check up on her grandson and his meister. His mom still desperately wanted to see him (and plans for a visit were in the making), and Maka and Soul were kicking evil's ass as per usual.

He was finally starting to get along with his family. Soul was happy. Everything was fine.

"Hey, Soul?" Maka called out. "Do you know anyone whose number starts with 001-3?"

Everything was fine… until Nan learned how to text.

"What…?" Soul walked over to Maka, leaving dinner to simmer in a pan, "That sounds like Nan." he sat next to her on their couch and read the little blue blurb on Maka's cellphone.

'Ciao, amore mio~ :D'

"That's definitely Nan," Soul muttered. "How the hell did she get your number?"

"Hmm? Oh, I gave it to her! She called once while you were taking a nap." Maka smiled innocently. What had the poor girl gotten herself into? "We kind of just fell into pleasant conversation and I gave her my number so she could call me whenever she couldn't get a hold of you."

Soul's heart swelled. His grandmother and his meister were getting along and talking on a regular basis; it was something out of the sappy scythe's dreams.

However, there was still one thing that confused Soul.

"How did she figure out how to text?"

Maka shrugged. "I dunno. Doesn't really matter, I'm gonna text her back! What should I say?" Maka looked up at him (damn him and his height), her green eyes bright and imploring.

"Uhhhhh." Soul held his chin, pretending to think before replying sarcastically. "'Hello', maybe?"

"Ugh, you're no help." She waved him off as she turned her attention back to her phone, trying to conjure up an appropriate message to send Nan. So what if they have been talking on the phone non-stop for the past few weeks? She still had to give off a good impression!

Soul smiled wistfully as he walked back to the kitchen to finish cooking dinner.

They were just too cute. The image of his sweet, adorable Nan trying to figure out the tiny print on her touch screen phone (that Wes had bought her last Christmas, even though Soul argued that maybe a less high tech phone would be better for their grandmother. He would never forget the pain of her manicured nails digging into his earlobe and her shouting in Italian, "Are you trying to call me old, Soul?") just made him all warm and fuzzy inside.

Right now, Soul wasn't worried. Yeah it was Nan, but it was also Nan. She couldn't cause any more damage than she already had when she visited.

Everything would be fine.

Soul should stop underestimating how embarrassing his family could be, especially Nan.

Nan was a pure, unadulterated magician.

"How does she text so fast?" His grandmother had taken to texting him almost everyday along with their weekly calls. The elderly woman would send him funny pictures of cats and rabbits (don't judge him) when he was sad and send him recipes of her dishes when he was craving her cooking. But Soul could barely type out a word before his Nan had already sent a huge paragraph describing her day.

And don't even get him started on Maka.

It was like being in his own personal hell. Maka would snicker as she texted Soul's Nan and would refuse to answer the pouting scythe about what the hell she found so funny. The meister would only grin smugly and say, "Nothing, polpetto." in a terrible Italian accent. Soul didn't know what was worse, Maka's horrible attempt at Italian or Nan stuffing his meister with story after story of young Soul.

"Soul?" Maka called through his closed door.

"Yeah?" He answered, removing his headphones and allowing smooth Italian jazz to softly spill from the speakers. "Come on in, the door's open."

Maka entered, phone in hand, a confused expression spread across her visage.

"Nan sent something to me that was meant for you by accident," she said as she motioned him to scoot over, taking her rightful place on the left side of the bed. "It's in Italian." She added huffily. She was starting to understand why Soul would get so peeved when she would speak to Tsubaki in Japanese for most of their conversations.

A look of confusion then found its way to his face. Why would Nan do that? It wasn't like they were texting at the moment, (the one rare time where his phone wasn't blowing up with stories about her noisy neighbor Florence) so why would she accidentally send Maka a message meant for him?

Soul took Maka's phone from her and quickly glanced at the most recent message before he scrolled up and wait, was that something about him crying? What? Soul's face immediately lost all color. She didn't.

"Hey! Stop scrolling through our messages!" Maka shrieked, reaching over to grab the phone. "Just read the last thing!"

Soul couldn't believe what he was reading right now. Nan was retelling, in full detail, the story of his first kiss.

It hadn't gone well.

At all.

Soul was eight and thought that only grown ups who loved each other and got married kissed, so when the feisty seven year old daughter of a famous cellist smashed her lips with his, Soul was reasonably upset. He ran crying to his older brother about how he didn't want to marry this girl. He didn't even know her, why would she kiss him? Young Soul was sure that his life was ruined, forced to be married and he hadn't even hit puberty yet.

Then the Evans' youngest got the idea to shove a whole bar of soap into his mouth to wash away the kiss.

It took his mother, Nan, and Wes to hold the wiggly little boy down and keep him from doing such a thing. Eventually, Nan was able to convince him that mouthwash was a much stronger and better solution for getting rid of the remnants of the girl's cooties.

Soul brushed his teeth extra hard that night, just in case.

"I don't know whether to feel betrayed or embarrassed." Both did nicely, if he was being honest.

"Oh, quiet you!"

He scrolled up only to find even more messages about him and the idiotic things he did in his youth.

"Is this what you two do? Share dumb stories about me?"

"Will you just read the last message?" Maka asked exasperated, frustrated at Soul's long limbs and his ability to play keep away so well.

"That's it," Soul stated firmly. "I'm never baking for you again."

"Soul, please no!" Maka exclaimed, pure fear drove into her heart. Was he really that upset? "Please, I'm sorry."

"How could you, Maka?" Soul asked her dramatically, a chuckle hidden in his throat. "Now, all my baking skills will go to waste and we can never enjoy sweets again."

"Oh my death, I'll make it up to you! I promise!" Maka groaned, feigning annoyance once she realized that he was mostly messing around with her. "Just read the last message, please!"

He grinned widely at her, his teeth poking at his lip, the tiniest bit (there were just certain things Maka shouldn't find attractive, but death damn) before scrolling down to the latest message in their conversation.

He should really stop being so surprised at his Nan's antics by now.

She even had the nerve to put a winky face emoji at the end of her message.

"Well, Soul?" Maka asked, a bit impatiently. "What does it mean?"

He was kind of getting sick of this whole "Let's shove Maka at Soul and make them make out" game that every single person in his life seemed to be playing. And Death, why did Nan have to be so blunt?

'I bet Soul wouldn't have minded so much if the girl was you, Maka. I bet Soul would love to marry and kiss you ;D'

"Soul?"

Said scythe had to stop himself from jumping ten feet in the air. His face was several shades of red and he was clutching on to the mobile device for dear life.

What could he tell her? "Oh, don't worry, Maka. Nan just wants us to get married and make out and give her cute great-grandbabies. Need me to translate anything else for you?"

"I know both of our names are in it, but that doesn't tell me much," Maka continued, hoping that it would shake Soul out of… whatever he was in.

Soul cleared his throat loudly and rubbed his neck, "Um, yeah." He coughed once more, "She just wanted to tell me that she thinks you're a great person and that I better be treating you right."

That was okay, right? It wasn't entirely a lie, Nan always told him that.

Maka gave him a look, the one where she wasn't completely sure if Soul was telling her the truth or not. She decided to just let it go and look up the phrase on google translate later if it really bugged her that much.

"Oh...okay!" Maka smiled brightly. "Awww, that's so sweet of her!" A smug grin slipped onto her face. "I guess now you have to make me sweets or else I'll tell Nan that you're being a bad weapon."

Soul sputtered out in laughter, caught up in the hilarity of both the unintentional horrible innuendo and her incredibly weak threat.

"Please," he scoffed, "you like having me around waaaaaay to much to do that to me."

Maka tapped her chin in thought, "Hmm, I dunno~"

"Wait, Maka please don't text her that, she'll rip my ear off," Soul stated in all seriousness, he feared for the state of his earlobes.

She nudged him playfully. "I'm just kidding, you dork."

He sighed in relief. The two fell into an easy silence, the music from his headphones creating background noise in the bedroom.

"But you're right."

"Hmm?"

She reached out for his hand, her fingers grazing his own."I do like having you around. A lot." She gazed up at him through her lashes, her green eyes warm and alluring.

It was then again that Soul was reminded of how in love he was with this amazing woman he called his meister.

Either her face was getting closer or he was moving towards her, but he could swear that he felt their lips skim across each other before his phone began to blare and vibrate loudly.

Soul snatched his phone from his back pocket, glancing at the lock screen to read the new message he apparently received from his grandmother.

'JUST KISS HER ALREADY!'

"Ohmyfuckingdeathwhat the fuck, whatthefuck?!

"Soul?" Maka asked, concerned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." That wasn't right. "Don't worry about it." Well, don't be a jerk, Soul.

He screamed silently.

"I'm gonna go start dinner now," he muttered grumpily, scrambling over her to get out of the room and away from the mobile device that ruined his once in a blue moon chance.

Nan was in so much trouble.

Maka watched as Soul almost tripped over himself to get out of the bed and into the kitchen. She sighed and flopped back onto the mattress.

He was such an idiot.