Title: Home Is Where The Heart Is
Fandom: Once Upon a Time
Characters: Emma Swan, Regina Mills, Henry Mills, Captain Hook, Walsh, Snow White, Prince Charming, Granny, Zelena, Robin Hood
Category: Romance, Angst, Drama, Memory Loss (I mean, it's Once. According to canon it's not possible to write a story without memory loss.) Canon Divergence AU
Rating: M, for swearing and such
Word count: 57,406 (total)
Summary: Emma Swan is no one's fool. She's certainly not going to drink the strange liquid that the creepy Ren Faire Reject that's been stalking she and her son is offering her in the middle of the street - even if they are in front of a police station. So what's a girl to do? Nothing but go home and get engaged to the great guy in her life. And everything is pretty amazing until her son disappears without a trace. Then she has to go track him down in some tiny town in Maine populated by the strangest people she's ever met and a woman her son has unexpectedly bonded with.
Spoilers/Timeline: For Season 3, beginning with "Going Home"
Author's Note: Many thanks to Oparu for the beta and Race for the suggestions. This fic is better because of them.
Check back tomorrow! I'm trying for daily updates. :D
It was a magnificent forest, full of thick towering old growth trees and lush undergrowth. In the depth of winter, deep rich greens and dark browns still stood out against the white of snow and frost. Emma could appreciate that even as a city girl. She appreciated slogging through the undergrowth for the past fifteen minutes considerably less, and if it hadn't been for Henry asking her to do this, she would have gone back ten minutes ago. Regina - Mayor Mills - Regina hadn't been kidding when she had said that there had been disappearances. It was a pretty big understatement, in fact. The best Emma could tell at least ten people were missing, with more vanishing every day. There was a vein tension that ran beneath the calm of the town that, once tapped became readily apparent. The people here were strange - and strangely reluctant to speak with her. Emma had gone by the Sheriff's office first, savoring her mayorly permission to investigate the disappearances, to get a list of the missing only to find the office unlocked and completely deserted. When several quick glances around the office had yielded no one, Emma had dove in and skimmed the paperwork on top of the desk until she thought she had managed to compile a decent enough timeline and list of the missing.
Whoever the sheriff was, their organizational skills were atrocious and the equipment they used was embarrassing. Emma had gone through it in under ten minutes, and it had only taken so long because it ran that slowly. Her interviews had started oddly and only gotten stranger as she went down her list.
The first one had seemed pretty textbook. A young woman, a nineteen year old mother by the name of Ashley Boyd, had gone out late one evening to get formula for her daughter and never returned home. According to her fiance nothing like that had ever happened before. More questions had revealed that things had been rocky between the two of them at the beginning of their relationship but it had been the fiancé who had tried to run away, not Ashley. In most cases the fiancé would have been Emma's number one suspect but not this time. One look in his eyes had shown his fear and desperation and Emma didn't think he was a good enough actor to pull it off. Not to mention he hadn't felt like he was lying to her. Emma preferred facts to back up her intuition but she would trust it for now.
Her second stop had been to investigate the disappearance of a child. Those were always the hardest and Emma had taken a moment in the car to pull herself together before she got out at the strange looking house. Henry's disappearance was no less terrifying for how short it had been. Emma had never been so scared before in her life, not even when she had been out on the street with no place to go and no idea where her next meal was coming from. The relief she had felt at having him back where she could see him and know he was safe was overwhelming. Emma hadn't realized how much it felt like drowning until she had found him and could breathe again. Maybe it had gone to her head a little because she couldn't imagine any other explanation for her allowing them to spend the night at the mayor's home instead of finding some other place for them to stay. There was something about the mayor that had bugged her all evening, but come the morning it had eased and sitting in her kitchen eating lasagna and listening to the mayor - Regina - talk about why she did what she did had been the most relaxed Emma had felt in some time. Despite it all though, Emma still couldn't quite believe that she had left Henry with Regina. It had felt like a logical decision at the time, but the more she thought about it the stranger it seemed. She never left Henry with anyone she didn't know very well and she'd had no intention of letting Henry out of her sight today. And yet when she had left, it had seemed right.
Emma had shaken her head and threw open the heavy, stiff door of her Beetle and stepped out. Maybe it had been Regina's words about the dangers of her job; she was right about that. No matter how routine a job seemed, it never was in Emma's line of work. She didn't know how many times she had gone around a house to ask the occupants a few questions only to have a suspect blow out the door, knocking her on her ass as they fled. And that was one of the better case scenarios. The guy that had shot at her before she'd even knocked on the door had really pissed her off. If something ever happened to Henry because he had come with her on a job, Emma didn't know how she would live with herself, so maybe it was for the best. Telling herself she would call and check on him when she was done here, Emma headed for the door. Tilting her head to one side, Emma squinted at the house. It couldn't be, but… did it look like a shoe?
"Whatta ya want?" the tiny old woman who had opened the door demanded when Emma knocked. Her face was wizened and craggy with age and her once dark hair was shot through with dull gray. The way it hung lank around her face didn't make her seem any younger. Though the door was only open a crack, Emma had made out at least a half-dozen young unsmiling faces milling around behind her.
"I'm here to talk to you about a missing child. Your son, Samuel," Emma had continued, forcing what she hoped was an unthreatening expression on her face that might encourage the woman to open up to her.
The woman grunted and let her hand fall away from the door. It swung open a little wider and Emma had taken it as invitation enough to step inside. Every hair on the back of her neck had stood on end as she had stepped inside.
The old woman who had refused to ever give Emma her name had been uncooperative and every word out of her mouth grudging, but that hadn't been Emma's worst interview of the day. That honor had gone to her next one after the old woman with the many children. Many children that Emma might just consider mentioning to Regina as the mayor because the way their clothes had hung from their too small frames had verged on emaciated and if the room had been any better lit and she had been able to tell if that was a bruise or a shadow across the littlest one's wrist… No matter the outcome of this case, Emma wouldn't forget them. She would be back until she could figure it out and she wouldn't let it go, no matter what the old woman said, until she was satisfied that those kids were okay.
The next house hadn't been what she expected, small but with a sprawling garden with neat paths and burbling fountains. The door had been yanked open a handful of seconds after Emma had knocked.
"Al!" The young woman, dark hair flying around her face as she skidded to a stop had looked first disappointed and then upset as she saw it was Emma and not the man she had been looking for. "You're not Al," she said, folding her arms over her chest and taking a wary step back.
"No, I'm Emma Swan," Emma had said, holding out a hand as she introduced herself. The woman had stared at it for a moment before reaching out to give it a brief shake. "I'm actually here to ask you a few questions about Al. I'm investigating these disappearances and anything you can tell me might help."
The woman scowled. "I only have a moment. I was just leaving again to look for him. We only stopped because Rajah was growing hungry."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Emma said. "Maybe we can share information. I've talked to several other people today with missing loved ones." She shoved her hands in her pockets. "They don't seem to have much in common but-" Emma bit her words off mid-sentence as the door had been nudged open wider. It took her an instant to process what she was seeing and then she blinked again because she couldn't possibly being seeing what she thought she was. A full grown tiger stood next to the woman, lips curling back to reveal glinting fangs as he stared up at Emma. Not as far up as Emma might have hoped, his head coming to above her waist, and much, much closer than she wanted.
"What's wrong?" the woman asked, glancing around as she noticed Emma's distress. "Is something the matter?"
Emma swayed on her feet, afraid she was going to pass out for a moment. The blood had drained away from her face so quickly she felt light headed. A fully grown tiger. What the fuck. Her gun was at her side, but he wasn't attacking or...or...nothing but staring at her with those gleaming teeth and, okay, licking his lips.
"Rajah, be nice," the woman had snapped when she had followed the tiger's gaze. "She's here to help. I'm Jasmine, by the way," she added as she had turned away and gestured for Emma to follow her inside. "Come in and we can discuss what Al's done now. It might take some time."
Once Emma had gotten over the tiger - and in no way had Emma actually managed to get over the tiger - but at some point while she was there her heart had stopped pounding like it was going to beat its way out of her chest and the adrenaline had worn off enough that she had stopped shaking with it - from sheer exposure if nothing else, Emma supposed. Jasmine and Emma had compared notes and managed to develop a timeline of the disappearance as best they could. Jasmine had already accomplished much of the groundwork Emma had intended to do - even if she would check up some points of Jasmine's information to make sure she was as competent and thorough as she seemed. They had agreed to split the rest of the interviews on Emma's list and then meet back at Granny's to compare notes. Emma had gotten the interview for the most recent missing person, a man that went only by Little John and was living with a small camp of other homeless people in the woods. Jasmine had called them refugees, but Emma had never been able to figure out where they had come from or what they had been fleeing. Jasmine had been curiously vague about that.
That was why Emma was currently slogging through the woods looking for their camp as snow fell just hard enough to leave her hair damp and tangled. Emma and Jasmine had concluded Little John must be the most recent victim, because Emma had only found the barest information about him at the Sheriff's office, a hastily scrawled note that sat on the desk that looked more like someone had taken down a phone message. Now if Emma could just get her bearing in this damn forest and get out of here... She wanted to find a damn lead so she could find, well she didn't want to find Neal or his father - not at all - but it had been the kid asking and he had been far, far more upset than she realized about her getting engaged to Walsh. The way he had covered his feelings had been scary good. Emma had never even suspected he had an issue with it the way he had been pushing her at Walsh.
The ring on her finger, with it's tastefully sized shiny rock, felt heavy. It was only then that Emma realized, she hadn't heard from Walsh since she had taken off after Henry's sparse trail. She wasn't sure how she felt about that. She had realized something was wrong the next morning when the school had called and asked where Henry was. One quick call to Avery's mother revealing that she had dropped him off at Emma's apartment the night before had left Emma in a panic. There was a dent slight dent in the Beetle's driver side door now, echoed by the not so slight bruising on her knuckles. Emma still stiff fist in reminiscence. It had taken her a good ten minutes of pacing and kicking the Beetle's tires before an eerie calm had settled over her, panic replaced by determination to find him. The fear bubbling up in her throat was too much, even in memory and Emma had to choke it off before it dropped her to her knees.
A pained, desperate cry jerked Emma's head up. She drew the weapon at her side in one smooth move and began moving closer to the sound. She had no idea what kind of natural predators Maine had - bears maybe? But whatever was making that noise was hurt and badly. Emma tripped over a log as she began to jog through the woods and shoved off a tree to right herself. She was still stumbling as she pushed into the clearing and caught a glimpse of a dark coat and light brown straggly hair disappearing into the woods on the opposite side. "Stop!" Emma commanded in her best bounty hunter voice. People were more conditioned to obey authority than they thought; it worked enough times to make it worth trying, even if Emma didn't have the legal authority to back it up.
The figure kept moving forward though, out of sight except for the sounds of them crashing through the brush and the crack of branches and rustle of leaves. Emma broke into a run to catch up, shoving her gun back in the holster in case she had to tackle her feeling suspect, and stopped short as the forest opened up in front of her again. There was no one in sight and few of the trees near enough for them to have hidden behind were big enough to hide a person. "Damn it!" Emma growled out. She was already sick of this stupid town and this stupid job that she wasn't even getting paid for. It was ridiculous, but complaining about it wouldn't help - or make it go any faster. Keeping her eyes peeled, Emma went to the first one, not expecting to find anything, but knowing she had to search nonetheless.
"Emma?" Emma hadn't been expecting to run into anyone she knew out in the forest, so hearing someone call out her name was a big enough surprise on its own. But the very last person she had expected to see, standing a few feet away from, one hand propped him up against the trunk of a pine tree, was Neal looking happy to see her, grinning and jovial as he moved toward her. "You're here!" he exclaimed, holding out his arms as if he expected a hug from her.
Emma threw up a hand to stop him, but he was too close and her stiff arm sent her stumbling back instead of stopping him. She took an awkward step back to catch herself and her foot landed on nothing as the ground began to slope back. She landed hard on her ass and found herself looking up at him. He was trying, but not succeeding, not to laugh at her. Anger flashed through her and Emma shot to her feet, planting them firmly and swinging her fist up to hit him square in the jaw.
"What the hell?" Neal gasped as he fell back, clutching at his face with one hand. "I thought you'd be happy to see me, Emma." She swung again, but this time he caught her wrist before she could connect, turning the blow aside and pulling her against him, to stop another one. His hand scraped over the rough stone of her ring. "You got engaged."
"Happy to see you," she gritted out through clenched teeth. "You left me. Set me up to take the fall for you and got-" She bit her own words off before she said too much. Henry might want to know his father, but Emma still wasn't sure if it was a good idea and until she was there was no need for him to know about Henry. "You bastard," Emma cursed at him as she wrenched her arm away. She didn't want him touching her.
"Emma," Neal said, pulling back so that he was making no effort to touch her or come closer anymore. "I'm sorry. I know I hurt you and I will always regret that I listened to that damn puppet, but I thought we were okay." His face changed, a naked, hungry, and vulnerable look taking it over. "Is Henry with you? Are you both okay? I can't remember anything. It's all so jumbled." He shook his head as if trying to clear it. "There's too much in here."
Emma never consciously decided to pull her gun. It was just in her hand again, pointing not quite at Neal, but next to him where just a twitch of her fingers would bring it in line. "How the hell do you know about Henry?" she growled.
"Hey," Neal said, raising both hands in the air. "What's going on, Em- Ah!" The rest of his question was lost in a cry of pain as Neal fell to the ground clutching his head.
"Now is not the time to play with me, Neal," Emma hissed, taking a step forward despite her better judgement. "I know all your tricks and cons," she spat out. "Stand up and tell me how you know about Henry or I'll fucking shoot you."
Despite the pained-sounding whimpers falling from his lips, Neal staggered to his feet. He leaned heavily against a tree with his hands semi-raised. "Not a game, Em." His skin looked gray and there was a sheen of sweat over his face that stood out as wrong as damp snow fell around them. "Lemme prove it to you." He held out one hand, his palm facing out. Even from where she stood the thick triangle shaped scarring was plain to see.
"What did you do to yourself?" Emma demanded, her eyes flicking back up to his face. "And what is that supposed to prove?"
"That this isn't natural, Emma." A groan wrenched free of him again and he fell, clutching at his head again. "There's something inside me and it's trying to get out."
"What?" Emma demanded. "What are you talking about?"
"I don't know," Neal gasped. "But that's what it feels like."
"We should get help," Emma said, reaching for her phone, only to see that there was no service when she unlocked it. "Damn. I'll get service and call for an ambulance," she told Neal. "I'll be right back." She had only taken a few hurried unsteady steps away before Neal screamed.
"Emma!" Forgetting her anger for the moment, she dropped down beside him and caught his hand in hers.
"I'm here," she said, trying to ignore the way those words made her feel. She had sworn that if she ever saw him again she wouldn't let him suck her back in again, but this was different. He was hurt, maybe dying and he was screaming for her. It wrenched something in her heart that she had been trying to pretend wasn't still there for years now.
"You have to get it out. You have to separate me," Neal panted. "Please, Emma."
She gripped his hand harder against the feeling of helplessness. "I can't, Neal. I don't even..." she gestured at his body with her free hand encompassing it all. "Let me call for help. Please."
"Just try," Neal pleaded, wrapping his fingers over hers and begging.
"Neal," Emma whispered, closing her eyes against his plea and searching for something, anything she knew that might help him. There's something inside me trying to get out, wasn't exactly covered in most first aid manuals. She was just about to open her eyes again and tell him that she had to go now for help. That there was nothing else she could when she felt something, like an idea on the tip of her tongue but more substantial. It was so close... almost there... A wave of power - force - light that shown even behind her eyelids slammed into her, throwing her back away from Neal like she was nothing more than a ragdoll. Emma hit the tree behind her hard; Her head rang with the force of the blow and left her desperately blinking to clear her vision and get her bearings.
"I don't think so, Missy." There was a flash of brilliant green light that made Emma recoil and struggle to throw her arm up over her eyes to shield them. It was gone just as suddenly and when it was, the man Emma had caught a glimpse of before knelt beside Neal.
"Baelfire," the man gasped, clutching at Neal like he was the most precious thing the man had seen. Tears tracked down his face. "Why?" he croaked, his voice broken. "Why did you do it?"
Neal's arm came up to curl around the back of the man's head. "I did it for you, Papa." He pulled the man closer to him. "For Henry and Emma."
The man shook his head, his movements jerky in his panic. "No. No, don't do this. I can save you."
"No," came the sharp voice of the woman Emma hadn't noticed was towering over them from several feet away. "No, you can't. Not this time." She was tall, with fair skin and curly red-gold hair. Her face was hidden in shadow. Her hand stuck out from beneath the green cloak she wore and in it she held a wicked looking knife, with strange curves and intricate embellishments. There was a word on the blade, but Emma couldn't make it out. "Come with me, Rumple." The man leaning over Neal froze, his shoulders yanked back as if someone had picked him up to draw him away. "Now," she hissed, moving the blade in her hand. It didn't seem like a threatening gesture, but the man - Rumple, Papa - staggered to his feet. He turned to the woman with an anguished look and his fingers clutched at air as if yanking something closer to him and bent over Neal.
"I love you, Bae," he whispered in a ragged voice, clutching Neal to him, and put his lips against Neal's ear. He murmured something so softly that Emma in her disorientation couldn't hear. There was another flash of that brilliant green light, so sudden that Emma turned away instinctively. When she looked back 'Rumple' and the woman were gone and Neal lay where he had been, barely breathing.
Emma forced herself to crawl closer to him, ignoring the way her head swam and the nausea that was threatening to rise up within her. "Neal," Emma croaked out, clutching at his arm, and shifted closer until she could wrap her arms around him.
"Hey," he murmured, one corner of his mouth tugging upward at him in a familiar smile. "It's okay."
"No, it isn't," Emma contradicted him. "You're dying and I can't even be mad at you. It's not fucking fair. We didn't even have a chance..." she broke off, unsure what chance she might have wanted them to have, but knowing that having that choice ripped away was the worst of all. "Henry," she choked the word, not caring now how he knew about their son, but knowing how sad he would be. "He never even got a chance."
Neal's hand covered hers. "Tell him I loved him," Neal begged and Emma nodded, shakily, whimpering as the motion jarred her head.
"I will," she forced herself to say. "I won't let him forget."
Neal jerked his head toward where the woman had been standing moments before. "Don't forget her either," he said, trying to force a laugh. It came out as a wet cough instead.
At this Emma's eyes narrowed, "I won't." She held him, rocking them both back and forth for several long moments until his breathing stopped and his eyes stared up at her lifeless and unseeing. Her fingers dug into the rough fabric of his jacket until they started to cramp and she forced them open again. Her cell phone lay on the ground several feet away and Emma reached for it, feeling nothing but numbness. She had to let go of Neal to crawl toward it. One bar. Of course it had one bar now. Tears burned in her eyes as she scooped it up and pushed send, not daring to move away from that exact spot. The cold and damp began to seep into her. She was conscious of it against her knees as they dug into the ground. It was picked up after two short rings.
"Ms. Swan?"
"I need help," Emma managed, allowing herself to sag onto her side in the damp earth. She had one last wild thought as the world started turning grey around the edges. "Don't bring Hen..."
Emma had once sworn to never again ride in the back of a cop car. At another time, she might have gotten out and walked just to prove a point, but right then she couldn't bring herself to care. She winced as her head slid down to lean against the window and was jostled with the motion of the car, but she didn't move. Instead she let her eyes fall closed and tried not to think about Sheriff Nolan in the front seat driving her away from Neal's lifeless body. They had waited until Doctor Whale had arrived before Nolan had ushered her into the car and told her that Whale would take care of the necessary preparations. Whale had spoken to her as well and several of the other first responders. Emma hadn't heard them, just the buzz and babble as they pushed her away from Neal, making it real as they told her she was done there. Only Regina had waited in silence, standing off to the side with her hands in her coat pockets, saying nothing and pushing nothing.
"Ms. Swan," Regina's voice was crisp from the seat beside her. Maybe it was having her in the back of the squad car with Emma that made it okay. There was no way a woman as upright and dignified as Regina Mills could be being taken into police custody. "Dr. Whale said it wouldn't be advisable for you to fall asleep again until he has a chance to examine you."
Emma forced herself to let out a slow breath before she responded. "I don't care." It was true; she didn't.
"Perhaps your son might," Regina pointed out, sounding so reasonable Emma wanted to knock her teeth down her throat.
If Regina's intention was to provoke her it worked. Emma shot up in her sight, her eyes flying open to glare at Regina. "Who do you think I've been thinking about? I've got to tell my kid - who was so damn upset about my engagement that he didn't even tell me. He just ran off to find his dad. And now that dad is dead and the kid never even had a chance to meet him. How am I supposed to do that, huh? Huh?" Emma slumped back in her seat as she saw Regina flinch, the reaction barely visible except for the faintest twitch around her eyes.
"I don't know," Regina said after a moment's silence, a moment when Emma had thought there would be no response because what could be said? "But I'll tell him with you." She reached out and put a hand on Emma's knee, the only part of Emma she could reach without moving. Her hand hovered and then brushed against her for the briefest moment before she snatched it away again.
Emma dropped her head back down to the glass - at least it was cool - and tried her hardest not to think, not to wish for that brief comforting weight back again. She didn't need anyone. This time Regina said nothing when her eyes fell shut. As tired as she was Emma made sure to twitch a finger or move occasionally to show her that she was still awake. It was the least she could do.
"...It'll just take a minute," Sheriff Nolan was saying when Emma realized she had drifted off the way she had promised Regina she wouldn't. She forced her eyes open and looked around, finding them back out in front of the diner. "She needs something in her stomach."
"What she needs, David," Regina said, slipping out her own door after him. "Is to be someplace where everyone isn't staring at her and that won't be possible in the central location for gossip in this ridiculous town. I am perfectly capable of fixing her a decent meal in my own home."
David lowered his voice for his response to Regina. From the inside of the car it was hard to make out what he was saying, but Emma thought she caught something about Snow. It was confusing and her head was pounding. Whale had said she didn't have a concussion, but her bell had been rung pretty good. Not good enough to forget who she was. Emma Swan didn't owe anyone anything or rely on them for help. Ducking her head down to press her forehead against the mercifully cool glance for one final moment, Emma pressed her shoulder against the door and shoved it open. She stepped out and shrugged her jacket up further around her shoulders, trying not to wince against the cold or the sudden brightness. It took her a moment to get her bearings, orienting herself in the town square, before she knew where she wanted to head. She was just about to head that way - for Henry, always for Henry - when an all too familiar voice boomed out.
"Swan!"
Emma froze, recognizing it despite only having heard it a handful of times. Pivoting one foot, she turned to face the man who had accosted her in her apartment and several times after that on the street in the city. He looked even more like a ridiculous ren fair reject now, dressed head to toe in some all leather costume with a hook where his hand should have been. "Not now," Emma muttered and turned her back on him. It was done deliberately enough that it couldn't fail to be interpreted as a hint and a pretty big one at that, that she didn't want to be disturbed.
"Lass, it's so good to see you back here," he said, pressing on as if he hadn't heard her, preoccupied but his own excitement. "I admit I despaired when you wouldn't take my potion, but I should have know that fate would bring you back to me and this fair town. You're a sight for sore eyes and an aching heart." He swung his hooked arm out wide in exuberance and ducked toward her, cupping her cheek in his hand and pressing his lips against hers. Stubble scraped against her cheek and his teeth smashed into Emma's lips awkwardly. It all seemed distant and far away. She wanted him to go away. Her hands rose to his shoulders; he pressed closer. Her knee jerked up into his crotch with every ounce of force she could muster. He crumpled like used tissue paper and Emma slammed her elbow into the back of his neck, sending him to the pavement.
"Emma!" She heard Regina just as distantly as she had heard Hook, but she didn't recognize what was being said after that until Regina's arms were wrapped around her from behind and pulling her away from the man, her leg's still flailing out to get in one last shot. "Stop, Emma, please, stop."
"I told him to leave me alone," Emma hissed, rolling her shoulders in Regina's grip to throw her off, as Sheriff Nolan ran up and grabbed the man, pushing him away from Emma towards the back of the patrol car. "I told him and he still fucking kissed me. He's been stalking me and my kid, Regina. He followed us from fucking New York and he thought he could just fucking kiss me like that. I'm gonna-"
"Let Sheriff Nolan do his job and lock that excretable excuse for a man up," Regina cut in smoothly. "I'll do everything in my power to make certain that he won't come near you or Henry again." The absolute, deadly certainty in her voice made Emma stop short. She met Regina's gaze, locking eyes with her for a long moment. The seriousness in Regina's eyes startled her, and although she had no reason to believe that Regina could back up what she said, Emma couldn't doubt her. That look promised Regina would stop short of nothing to keep her word.
"You promise?" Emma wanted to hit the man again, hit him until her knuckles were bruised and bleeding and her arms ached. She wanted to hit him until her heart stopped hurting or she couldn't hit him anymore. But Henry, Henry was here alone in this strange town and no matter how much it hurt, she had to think of him. She couldn't leave him alone. It was a promise she had made him the moment she had decided to keep him. Never again.
"I promise, Emma," Regina said, with a tiny nod. "He won't bother you again."
"Thanks," Emma breathed the word more out of habit than any real feeling of thankfulness at the moment. She let herself slump back against Regina and tried to slow her breathing. She still wanted... Something occurred to her and Emma crooked a lopsided smile that she didn't really feel, turning toward Regina. "You called me Emma."
"It seemed appropriate, Miss Swan," Regina responded to her levity with a hint of her own, the darkness of her tone taking on what Emma realized was a teasing tone. She never would have understood it before, but she made a note of it. She would recognize it again if she heard it later.
Emma leaned closer; her smile turning wicked. It was preferable to thinking about... it was preferable. "Was it the violence? Did you like it?"
There was a moment when Emma wasn't sure what Regina would say, then Regina was so close she could feel the heat radiating from her skin and her lips were brushing against Emma's ear. "Oh yes, Miss Swan, color me impressed." She said it so dryly that it took a moment for Emma to process the words. When she did, she couldn't help it. Emma actually laughed.
"I'll remember that," she said, her light tone at odds with the determination that sang through her, making every muscle in her body tense as she forced herself to keep looking at Regina and not look back for that man. She didn't know why - It had taken Emma a while to recognize what Regina was doing - but Regina was acting like a lifeline for her at the moment. The people that had done that for her before, Emma could count them on one hand. It made her nervous. The thing about lifelines was that you came to depend on them to stop you from drowning and then you weren't prepared when they were ripped away. But maybe Emma could just hold on for a minute before she got her feet back underneath her. Maybe that would work.
"Dad...Dad's dead?" Henry's voice trembled as he repeated back what Emma had just told him. He looked pale and shaken and Emma couldn't blame him. She also didn't know when the kid had started calling Neal "Dad" instead of his biological father, but that didn't matter right now. Henry was in pain and there was nothing she could do to make it better.
"Yeah, Kid," Emma said. "I'm so sorry," she dropped down on her knees in front of him where he was sitting beside Regina on the couch. She sat on the edge, her legs crossed at the ankles and her lips pursed into a thin line. Her whole body was a study of sharp angles and extreme tension. Emma wondered if she was regretting her telling Emma they would tell Henry together. Emma regretted having to tell him at all. It wasn't fucking fair. All the kid had wanted was to meet his dad, who was crappy enough to start with, and now he would never even have that chance. Emma took Henry's hand in hers and squeezed. "I don't...I don't know what to tell you. I found him, but I think... I think he was sick or something, but there was nothing I could do. Someone..." Emma frowned as she tried to reconstruct what had happened in that jumbled, confusing blur of memories, but no matter how she put it together it didn't make sense. "We're gonna figure it out, kid." She bit her lips, wanting to promise him that much, but not certain if it was a promise she could keep. There was something crazy going on in this town; Emma knew that much - even if she couldn't piece together what it was yet.
Henry glanced over at Regina. "Mom-" It sounded so plaintive before he bit his words off and dropped his gaze back to Emma. He was trying so hard to still his trembling lip as he wiped at his nose with the back of his arm.
"Don't use your sleeve," Regina said, softly, absentmindedly, as she ducked her head to stare at her hands. Her fingers were twisted together so tightly in her lap that her knuckles were going white, Emma realized.
Emma started to snap at her that she was so not worried about the proper treatment of the kid's clothes or goddamn nose wiping etiquette at a time like this, but Henry sniffed and one corner of his mouth tugged up. "Right. That would be bad." The calmness in Henry's voice made Emma's heart ache even worse than it had been. She wanted to hit something again, but she had a feeling Regina wouldn't be nearly so forgiving if she slugged the expensive, pristine couch then she had been with Emma's creepy stalker.
"Can't have that," Emma said, mustering all the control she could to get her voice to come out without breaking mid-sentence. The kid couldn't see her fall apart. That was part of the parenting deal. She would do that later. Maybe Regina would help her get really drunk and find her something she could hit.
"No," Henry agreed, still playing along like it was important. "I-" He broke off when his voice cracked and started again. "I think I want to be alone right now."
That morning Emma had every intention of finding a room in town, or another place to stay that wouldn't mean they were under Regina's roof. No matter what the woman said, she hated feeling like they were taking advantage. More than that it felt strange to be staying in a home that wasn't her home. The impermanence of it made her itch, reminded her of her childhood in the way that in the best homes home and family and warmth had been so close, but nothing more than a cruel tease to her, ready to be yanked away in a few days or hours or weeks. But always yanked away. It didn't matter now though. She would give Henry anything he needed to get through this and staying at Regina's would give him more stability and privacy than he - they - would find at any crappy motel or bed and breakfast. "Okay, Henry," Emma said, opening her arms to him as he stood up. He flew into them without hesitation and wrapped her arms around him, squeezing with surprising strength. Emma held him back just as tightly, rocking him slightly back and forth on her feet and ignoring the awkwardness she always felt in moments like this. Dipping her head so that it was pressed against his ear, Emma whispered, "Love you." The words were just as hard as the gesture, more so even, but Henry needed to hear them and that was all that mattered.
Emma felt Henry nod and press his head into her shoulder for a moment. "I love you too, Mom." Then he let go and darted past her, almost but not quite running for the stair and the refuge that was the second story of Regina's mansion. Maybe he was hoping that no one could hear him cry up there. Maybe Regina had a basement where she could scream and hit things and no one could hear her there either. When she looked up Regina was watching her with something distant and indiscernible in her eyes. The hair on the back of Emma's neck prickled and Emma tensed, having no idea what was going on. Then Regina held a hand out. Emma took it with just the tips of her fingers, but let Regina help her up, waiting for... She wasn't sure what she was waiting for, but it didn't come.
"Sit," Regina said half-command and half-question, Emma shook her head.
"Don't think I can right now," she looked around the room, feeling the wild desperation welling up in her again. No, she couldn't sit right now. "I'm gonna take a walk or something." Or run. Emma's eyes flicked up to the ceiling, thinking of Henry ensconced in a room above it. "Call me if Henry-"
"Of course," Regina agreed. "Go. It will be fine."
Emma hesitated her hand on the doorframe. "It's not though, is it?" She grimaced. "The kid wanted one thing and I couldn't even do that for him. I fucked it up, Regina. Now he never gets to meet his dad."
Regina rose off the couch, dropping one hand to steady herself, wavering as she rose. "It doesn't seem possible now," Regina said. "But in time, with enough of it-"
Emma laughed, a harsh sound that echoed off the walls. "It will all magically get better? I don't think so."
"No," Regina agreed. "But in time he will find more and rediscover what he has now."
"More what?" Emma asked, confusion warring with bitterness and exhaustion.
"Love."
Emma was halfway down the block, hands crammed into her pockets as she strode along with long, quick strides, when her phone rang, She slipped it out of her pocket without looking, worry for Henry foremost in her mind. She was already pivoting to go back when she answered. "Swan."
"Hey, beautiful," a gentle, deep voice purred in her ear.
Emma faltered and let her breath out in a rush. "Walsh." Her pace slowed and she turned again, heading away from Regina's mansion. Her initial wave of relief was fading as quickly as it had come. She knew she would have to tell him eventually, but she couldn't bring herself to tell him about Neal now. There hadn't been time to do more than text him to let him know that she had found Henry and that he was okay. He didn't know about why they had stayed or anything else, and Emma just couldn't. Not again. "Hey." It sounded lame even to her own ears, but it was the best she could come up with. Her eyes began to burn and Emma sniffed tears back, wiping her nose - with the back of her sleave thank you very much - and walking onward.
"Did I catch you at a bad time?" Walsh asked, hearing something in her voice or maybe she hadn't been able to muffle the sniffles as well as she had intended.
Emma wanted to laugh, but didn't. If she started laughing now, she might not stop. Or worse she might start crying. "No, it's fine." Emma sniffed again and tried to pull herself together. She could do this. "I'm just out taking a little walk."
"Yeah?" Walsh sounded happy and hopeful, the easy going, happy-go-lucky guy he had always been. "That sounds nice. How's Henry?" Emma had the urge to scrape his ring off her finger and throw it as far as she could. Not out of some misguided love for Neal, but at the memory of who Walsh was. He was a nice, sweet, normal guy and he had no part in her life.
"He's..." fucked up that his Dad's dead, sad, angry, enjoying this little vacation, hating that we got engaged, kinda weird around this random stranger lady who's life we've stumbled into. "He's good," Emma lied, hating how easy the words came to her tongue. "You know Henry. He's a really great kid." At least that part was true.
"Did you ever find out what happened to him?" Walsh asked, his concern evident. There was a faint noise in the background and Emma wondered where he was.
"Just teenage stuff, you know," Emma said, keeping it vague. As much as she didn't want to talk about this right now, she didn't want to lock herself down into this story either. "I think he just wanted an adventure or something."
"Tell him to try that new pizza place next time," Walsh joked. "It's more than enough of a gastronomical challenge for anyone."
Emma laughed because Walsh expected it. "I'll do that."
Silence lingered between them as Emma ran out of words and Walsh seemed to be content to let it hang between them. Emma fidgeted picking at her nail bed on one hand.
"So when do you think you two will be back?" Walsh asked, breaking the silence after what felt like forever to Emma. "I miss you," his voice lowered, sweet and sexy, and Emma winced.
"A few days, I think. We're wrapping stuff up, but the kid's enjoying himself right now," Emma said. Lies, lies, lies.
"Are you sure that's such a good idea?" Walsh said with a laugh. "It doesn't sound much like punishment. He might try running away again sometime; it sounds like fun."
Emma felt sick, her stomach lurching and rebelling at Walsh's words. She barely got out, "I gotta go. Bye." Before she was bent over, throwing up into the bushes with her arm wrapped around her midsection and the other bracing her against a tree to hold her up. She threw up again and again until she sank to her knees shaking and nothing but bile would come out. She finally managed to push herself to her feet and stagger back toward Regina's.
Weak as Emma was it took her far longer to get back to Regina's than it had going and she stumbled, almost falling several times as she headed up the walk to the porch. Emma looked up and froze, catching sight of Henry in the second story window. It wasn't Henry that made her freeze, however. It was Regina with her arms wrapped around him and Henry leaning into her like...like two things that fit together perfectly. As often and freely as he gave her affection, Henry had never hugged her like that, clinging onto her and resting his head against her chest. His eyes were closed and he looked relaxed, like he felt completely safe and Emma hated it. Worse was the expression on Regina's face. The lines and sadness that had lingered since they had gotten there were gone. She looked not content, but certain, at peace. It transformed her in a way Emma couldn't have imagined and Emma hated that too. She shoved her way up the steps to the front door and the slammed behind her as hard as she could.
Emma waited a minute, her stomach lurching and aching as she paced back and forth in front of Regina's pristine couch. She had the insane urge to plop down on it, muddy booted feet and all. When no one came down, Emma started up the stairs. The soft carpeting muffled the sound of her footsteps as she made her way toward the room that Henry had claimed as his own. There were a couple of guest rooms down the hall, but the room Henry had chosen had obviously belonged to Regina's missing son. Regina hadn't said anything or seemed to mind, so Emma hadn't said anything either. Just another weird thing in this town.
The door to the room Henry was staying in was ajar enough that Emma could catch a glimpse of them sitting side-by-side on the bed and hear the low murmur of their voices. She made out Regina's first.
"...make it mean something. We won't let his death go unavenged, darling. We'll find out what's going on," Regina was saying. It was a big damn promise to be making the kid and not one Emma was sure either of them could keep. Not unless Regina was in to whatever mess this town was involved in.
"I know," Henry said in his trying to be brave voice. Emma risked a glance. His arms were still wrapped tightly around Regina. "But I can't lose you-" Emma couldn't make out the next few words, muffled as they were by Henry and Regina's proximity. But Emma did hear his "...love you." clearly. Her hands clenched into fists at her side and she forced herself to breathe. She had never had any competition for Henry's love before and she had no idea why she did now. Henry had barely known her for two days. It made no sense. The thought kept echoing through Emma's head as she slipped back down stairs and slumped down onto the couch. It didn't leave her alone even as she drifted off to sleep, dreaming of monsters chasing her and strange and wonderful things that could never be real.
The night was late and even in the sheriff's office it was dark. Shadows dripped from the walls, formed by the distant lights the office left on all day long. Hook had spent enough time on Neverland to develop a permanent aversion to shadows, especially ones that lingered in the dark. It discomforted him enough that he paced his cell instead of laying down to sleep. He could sleep during the day, or tomorrow in his own rooms when he freed himself from this ridiculous charge. Charming had thrown him in this brig on charges of assault and harassment, even as Hook had protested the entire time. With Emma back in Storybrooke he had assumed her memories had returned and he jolly well wanted to pick up where they had left off. There hadn't been time to make more than the barest arrangement before they had left and Hook was eager for more. He had missed her with a yearning he hadn't felt in centuries, not since he had lost his Milah, and he would do whatever it took to get her back. That was why...well, he'd made that bloody deal wasn't it, to be with Emma and protect her? He deserved more than to be locked in this cell for love of her.
Hook turned to pace back across the length of his cell and jerked to halt. "What the bloody hell, woman?" Hook demanded. He hadn't even heard Zelena entered. She must have teleported into the cell with him because there hadn't been any clang of metal or click of heels. It was damn disconcerting was what it was. "You shouldn't scare a man like that."
"Or what, Captain?" Zelena purred, stroking her index finger down the v of his chest bared by his shirt and vest. "You'll hurt me?" She laughed like it was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard. A peele of sound that was more crazed than anything. He jerked back from her and stumbled as he ran into the wall with nowhere to go. "Don't forget who I am, Captain," Zelena said, taking another step toward him. There was no mistaking the threat in her voice.
"Bit late for a visit, isn't it?" Hook asked, forcing himself to sound casual, as if he weren't concerned at all as he stared at her.
"Only friendly visits," Zelena countered, the hand that had rested on his chest moving until sharp nails dug into her chest. They felt more like claws than fingers and Hook wondered what he would see if he glanced down. He couldn't bring himself too. Not when her hand was over his heart and he knew the danger of witches. "But I'm not feeling very friendly, Captain. You've gotten yourself thrown in here for harassing Emma Swan when you told me you could keep her distracted and out of my way until this was done." Her face neared his as her other hand slipped up to caress his throat. "You're useless, Captain. Useless. Do you know what I do to useless things?"
Hook had an idea but there was no point in making this easier for her. "No idea," he managed to get out without panting or sounding terrified.
"I get rid of them," Zelena continued. Long fingers tightened around his throat and Hook tensed as they dug in. It was harder to breathe but she wasn't trying to choke him yet. He longed to jerk his hook up and plant it in her back. He might even get lucky and find her heart. But if she wasn't trying to kill him yet, if she was just testing him and he tried to kill her... Well, he wasn't certain he could. He didn't want to risk it unless he had no other option.
"Please," Hook whispered. "I can still help you. I'll be out of here by morning and I'll do what I said I would. I will. You still need me."
Zelena snorted and stepped back from him, letting him go in one quick motion. "No, I don't, Captain, but don't worry. I'm not going to kill you. I'm not ready to blow my cover yet. But remember this, if you let me down again, I won't be so generous." She blew him a kiss and disappeared in a whirl of green, leaving Hook to slump back against the wall of the cell and slide to the floor with his knees tucked up to his chest. There was no way in hell he was sleeping now.