"Hey, Kamina, got any stories? I really feel like falling asleep."
"What the hell are you trying to say about my stories, fatass?"
"Oh, just shut up and start talking."
"Er, well... Let's see... There was a small earthquake one night when I was little, and I heard a girl who was probably my age crying because some clay angel her mom had made for her was cracked in two and the wings fell off, and her mother was dead. She kept on shouting 'Mommy made this! Mommy made this!' Well, until I yelled at her to shut up and get over it and that my dad was trying to sleep because he had some ass to kick in the morning."
"Weren't you just the most charming little thing?"
"Right? Mightiness coursed through my veins even as a boy! Anyways, after I said that, she told me I was stupid and I would always be stupid because at least she had a mommy and I didn't. So then I went over and hit her on the head and she started crying. The end."
"What? You hit a girl? And what was with that story?!"
"Well, what do you expect? I was a little kid and she was stupid, and she grew up to be an ugly pit chick anyway. But funny you should get so mad, because that brings us to my next point! Hitting girls is wrong, no matter how annoying they are!"
"Really, Mr. Genius? Just stick to piloting stolen gunmen, because philosophy is definitely not the path for you. But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and ask you why you thought it was a good idea to tell some backwards story about not hitting girls. To a girl. As a bedtime story."
"To prove that I could keep you amused."
"You're dumb."
"You're cranky."
"Just go to sleep, before I crack you in two."