"I missed waking up to you. Why you up so early?" Rayna asked as she joined Deacon on the back porch swing
"Couldn't sleep." Deacon quietly answered staring off into space
"You OK?"
"I dunno, Ray. Just a lot goin on all at once. I'm worried about what the doctor will say this mornin. Not crazy about a rehearsal dinner tonight with the Wheelers." He sighed and continued to stare off towards nothing
"Deacon, your doctor's appointment is gonna go fine. You've been feeling good since you started the meds, right?" Rayna asked rubbing his leg
"The bulb is always brighter right before it burns out." He sadly replied
"Deacon, PLEASE…don't spiral into this negative thought process again. You've been doing so well. You've been feeling good. C'mon, babe. I know this sucks, but we've got to stay positive."
"Positive…that's a lot easier to say when it's not your life that's ending." He swallowed a lump in his throat
"You think my life's not gonna end if you don't survive this? I don't know how to live without you, Deacon! You're so much a part of me. I can't even imagine a world without you in it. DON'T TELL ME MY LIFE'S NOT GONNA END RIGHT ALONG WITH YOU IF YOU GIVE UP!" she yelled as tears streamed down her cheeks in the morning sunlight
"Rayna, Please stop cryin! That's all everybody does around me anymore. I can't take it, alright?" he asked quietly, still not bothering to face her
"OK, I'll try not to cry, but I need you to lighten up and fight this. It just feels like you've already given up."
"I'm just bein realistic, Rayna. My chances of gettin a liver aren't good. I think maybe I should just cancel the rest of the tour. I'm just so damn tired all the time." He sadly said, finally facing her
"I thought you wanted to finish it?"
"I do, but…I'm not sure I can face the fans, and the media. I can't keep this quiet forever. Belcort agreed to keep the cancelled shows quiet until after Maddie's weddin, but in a couple days the press is gonna be asking questions. I don't know what to tell 'em."
"The truth, Deacon! You have millions of caring, loving fans out there that only want the best for you. There's no point trying to hide it, and maybe by sharing your story you'll get that liver, and help others fighting the same battles get donors too!"
"How the hell can you be so damn positive, Rayna? Huh? There's no guarantee here. There's no magic fix. Yeah, I could get a liver, but I could just as easily and more likely be dead in less than 6 months. That's not much goddamn time!" his voice was flat and devoid of emotion
"FINE, DEACON! YOU WANNA SIT HERE AND THINK OF ALL THE NEGATIVE AND ASSUME IT'S OVER? YOU DO THAT! I'M NOT GONNA WATCH IT." She said getting up and slamming the back door on her way into the house
Deacon sat alone contemplating life and death. Lost in his own misery. Unsure of the future, or lack of. He'd cried more in the past few weeks since his diagnosis that anytime in his life he could remember, but now he just felt emotionless. He was so sick of everyone around him crying all the time.
Scarlett and Mason often ended up in tears around him. Rayna was trying to stay positive, but he knew she cried alone in the shower everyday. He'd found himself avoiding Clay. Thinking maybe the baby wouldn't miss someone he couldn't remember.
Maddie was the only one acting normal around him, because she didn't know. He dreaded telling her, but knew the day was coming. He hated thinking that he'd never see Maddie's baby, but realistically without a transplant January was a stretch.
He'd lost track of time sitting alone on the back porch as the sun came up over Nashville. The overhead garage door and Rayna's Escalade starting shook him from his thoughts. He quickly got up to see where she was going.
"RAYNA! Where the hell are you….." she pushed the button on her visor closing the overhead door as he stepped into the garage, purposely cutting him off
"Where the hell's your mother goin?" he snapped as Scarlett sleepily held Clay warming a bottle in the microwave
"I dunno. Did you have a fight or somethin? She didn't say much. She seemed kinda upset." Scarlett said as Clay squirmed and fussed in her arms impatiently waiting for his bottle
"Somethin, I guess. I'm goin back to bed." He quickly left the kitchen before Scarlett could say anything else
The reminder Deacon had put in his phone calendar about his follow up with Doctor Rand chimed, waking him from his morning nap. Rayna's side of the bed was empty and cold as he ran his hand over her pillow.
"Did your mom ever come back?" Deacon asked Mason, who was noisily chomping his cereal at the kitchen table
"uuhhh…no idea, dad. I haven't seen her this morning."
30 minutes later Deacon climbed out of the shower, got dressed and ventured back out to the kitchen for some coffee. The house was quiet. Scarlett and Clay had gone back to bed. Mason was playing his bass guitar in the home studio. Still no sign of Rayna. Deacon's appointment was in 20 minutes.
"Where the hell is she?" he thought as he dialed her cell number
"Hey, it's me. Guess you're upset with me? Anyway, I'm uhhhh…leavin for the Doctor now. Apparently you're not goin, huh? OK, I'll talk to ya later." He disappointedly left a voicemail for Rayna
Downtown Rayna was trying to catch up some paperwork for HighWay 65 in her office. She'd played Deacon's message 4 times. She knew he was struggling with his cancer diagnosis. The hurt and disappointment in his voice was killing her as she played the message a fifth time. She was frustrated with him, but as infuriating as he could be she knew he needed her more now than ever even if he didn't say it.
"Oh for Christ sake." She frustratedly grabbed her purse and keys from the couch where she'd thrown them a few hours ago
"Sorry, I'm late." Rayna apologized as she entered the exam room. Doctor Rand was listening to Deacon's heart with a stethoscope and requesting he take deep breaths. Deacon's face lit up as she walked in, making her feel guilty for leaving this morning the way she had.
"OK, everything looks good. How are you feeling overall?" the Doctor asked as Deacon buttoned his shirt
"Good, good…no disorientation or light headedness since I started the meds. I am still really tired most of the time." Deacon admitted
"That's normal. It will most likely get worse. How are your moods? Are you dealing with things OK?"
"uuhhh…sometimes, it's all new. Telling the kids was hard, and still hard." Deacon said glancing at Rayna
"What about possible family donors? Have you approached anyone else about getting tested?"
"NO, I don't wanna put anyone in that position, especially my kids." Deacon snapped
"OK, one of your daughters, Scarlett was tested already. Unfortunately, she's not a match."
"Good! I didn't even want her to get tested." Deacon said relieved
"Have you thought anymore about asking your sister?" Dr. Rand questioned looking towards Rayna
"That's NOT even a possibility. We haven't spoke in 15 years. I'm NOT callin her now. Ya'll can just forget it!" Deacon snapped at the mere mention of Beverly
"Deacon…maybe we should at least consider call…" Rayna tried to suggest, but was quickly cut off
"DAMMIT, RAYNA! I SAID NO! DROP IT!" Deacon was getting pissed
"You're on the national registry list, but at the moment you're not priority. We'll continue to monitor you every couple weeks and upgrade your status as things deteriorate, but overall right now things look pretty good for you. The tumor hasn't changed. Your cell counts are OK. Any questions?"
"I have one. As long as he's doing well…could he go back out on tour for a couple months?" Rayna asked from the corner chair
"Well, as long as you take it easy. Try to eat healthy, get 8 hours of sleep, don't overdo it, keep a med regimen going…I don't see why not. It might keep your mind off the illness and give you something that's normal for you to do. Keep your appointments and stay in touch. If you feel like it's too much or you're overly tired I'd advise you to stop."
"Thank you, Doctor Rand. We'll see you in a couple weeks." Rayna said as he left the room
"I'm sorry for leaving the way I did." Rayna said as she fell into Deacon's arms holding him tight
"It's OK. I know I'm a pain in your ass." Deacon smiled and kissed the top of her head
"I don't care if you make my life hell. I'm just glad you're here to do it, and you're gonna be here to do it for another 50 years." She squeezed him tighter
"I'm glad you're here, Ray. I can't do this alone. I need you so damn much it hurts. I'm sorry I frustrate you, baby. It's just all so overwhelming sometimes. I love you, Ray." He swallowed a lump and tried to hold back tears as he held her tight
"We're gonna get through this, Deacon. Please just say you'll try and fight for us and the life we've built."
"I'll try, Ray. I can't promise I'll always be good, but I'll try. Please don't leave like that again." He whispered
"I won't babe. I felt horrible when I played your message. I shouldn't have left like that. Let's go home. We have a rehearsal dinner to get ready for."
"Yeah, great…" Deacon sighed as they left the Doctor's office hand in hand. It had been 16 years since Rayna's affair with Luke Wheeler, but now Maddie was marrying Colt. Deacon was trying to accept her choice, but less than thrilled about the new in-laws.
Gunnar had arrived home from his tour for Maddie's wedding and the fourth of July. He and Scarlett were making lunch when Deacon and Rayna arrived home.
"Hey…there's my favorite son in law. How's the big tour goin?" Deacon asked as he sat down for lunch
"Great! I miss bein home with Scarlett and Clay, but other than that it's been amazing. So much energy and fan love out there, ya know."
"Yeah, I know. I miss the touring sometimes, but downtime is nice too." Deacon smiled thinking about going back on tour with Rayna by his side and forgetting about the cancer for a while.
"Lunch is ready. Cranberry chicken salad on multi grain Kaiser rolls. Hope you like it. I took the recipe off the internet." Scarlett smiled as she placed a sandwich in front of Deacon
"Thanks, baby. Looks delicious. You tryin to feed me healthier meals?" He asked as he took his first bite
"No, I just….well, with the big dinner later, ya know…this is kinda light. That's all." Scarlett scrambled to cover knowing Deacon was getting irritated with being treated differently
"It's OK, Scar. I know you're just tryin to help. I'm sorry I've been a crab ass. It's a lot to deal with. I love you, and appreciate everything, especially the getting tested." Deacon teared up a little
"Soo, If it's OK to ask…How did your doctor's appointment go?" Scarlett cautiously asked
"Ahhh, Good, good. No changes with the tumor. Blood work looked good. Meds are workin. Got the green light to go back on tour as long as I take it easy."
"So that's good for now, right?" Scarlett asked hopeful
"Yeah, yeah…doc seemed real positive."
Several hours later Deacon and Mason were impatiently waiting in the kitchen for Rayna to finish getting ready for Maddie and Colt's rehearsal dinner. Deacon was on edge about seeing Luke Wheeler for the first time in 15 years. He knew it was crazy after so much time had passed. Things had been great between him and Rayna since they'd worked things out and gone to marriage counseling. Luke was happily remarried to his ex wife, and the mother of his children Stephanie, but the mention of his name still irked Deacon.
"C'mon Ray! What the hell's the hold up? We were supposed to pick up Scarlett, Clay and Gunnar 10 minutes ago." Deacon yelled into the bedroom as Rayna finally appeared
"Wow…you're beautiful, baby! I don't think the mother of the bride is supposed to outshine the bride." Deacon smiled as Rayna came into the foyer dressed in a sparkley, silver dress.
"You're awfully handsome yourself. You know I can't resist you in a navy blue suit." Rayna smiled
"Get a room! Can we just go already so I can take this suit off soon." Mason sniped irritated with having to attend the rehearsal dinner and wear a suit
"Mason, this is your sister's big weekend! Can you just try to be happy for her and quit bitchin. It's one damn weekend. I promise you'll survive." Deacon snapped back as he ushered everyone to the car
"Oh he is absolutely adorable in that little suit." Rayna commented on baby Clay's outfit as Gunnar strapped an unhappy baby into his car seat
"He's not so happy about it in this heat." Scarlett said as she tried to get Clay to take a pacifier and settle down
"It is awfully damn hot to be in a suit." Deacon grumbled as he cranked the air down a little more in Rayna's Escalade
"OK, alright…I know it's hot, but it's late June in Nashville. Can we all just quit complainin!" Rayna asked as Deacon pulled out of the driveway with a car full
Cedarwood was a beautiful outdoor venue. Lilacs in bloom everywhere. The tents were all set up and ready for tomorrow. Maddie and Colt were near the alter going over things with the minister. Several of Maddie's friends were nearby awaiting their bridesmaid instructions. Colt's groomsmen were spread throughout the tented area.
Deacon's arm around Rayna's back stiffened as they approached Luke and Stephanie near the back of the tent.
Luke had aged a bit, but was still handsome as he stood with his wife. Rayna noticed his cane right away and that Stephanie was helping support him as they stood waiting for instructions.
Rayna was first to break the ice.
"Hey Stephanie. Great to see you again….and Luke, it's been a while. You look good. I was real sorry to hear about the riding accident. You seem to be doing well?" Rayna awkwardly asked
"Oh, yeah…some days are better than others, but overall I'm doin good now. Everything happens for a reason
"Wheels Up! How the hell are ya?" Deacon asked awkwardly shaking Luke's free hand
"Freakin Deacon! Can't complain." Luke smiled
"Guess we should start with introductions. This is Mason, Scarlett, her husband Gunnar and our grandson Clay." Rayna said as everyone got acquainted
"Scarlett and Mason. Wow..you two were just little ones last time I saw you. Hard to believe it's been 15 years. Who'd have ever imagined Maddie and Colt's kindergarten romance would lead us all here?" Luke commented
"Yeah, it's crazy!" Deacon answered trying to smile and be polite
"Well…guess it's my turn. This is my beautiful wife Stephanie and our daughter Sage. She just turned 17. I think she was about 2 last time you saw her." Luke smiled
"Sage…Oh my gosh…you've really grown up! Absolutely beautiful young woman." Rayna said remembering the girl as a toddler last time she'd seen her
After a few run throughs in the sweltering June heat everyone was hot and ready to head back to town for a nice dinner at Kayne Prime steakhouse.
"Are you OK, Deacon?" Rayna asked as they walked to the car. He was sweating a lot and seemed wobbly on his feet
"I'm just really hot Ray. I need to get this jacket off. Maybe you should drive. I am a little light headed." Deacon admitted as he stripped off his jacket and unbuttoned the top few buttons on his dress shirt
"Do you wanna just go home?" Rayna asked worried as he slumped in the passenger seat
"Just start the damn car and turn the air on. I'll be fine. It's Maddie's rehearsal dinner. I'm not gonna miss it."
Clay was screaming as Gunnar removed his little jacket and strapped him back into the car seat behind Deacon.
"I'm sorry, dad. He's just hot and crabby. I'll get him a bottle." Scarlett apologized sensing Deacon's irritation
"That makes two of us. It's alright. I can handle a screamin baby." Deacon tried to smile, but he really wasn't feeling well
"Deacon…Deacon…..hey, wake up babe! We're here." Rayna gently shook Deacon. He'd fallen asleep once he cooled off in the passenger seat on the 40 minute drive back into town
"Why don't you guys go ahead and go in." Rayna told Gunnar and Scarlett
"Deacon, you're not OK. Are you feeling sick?" Rayna asked as Deacon climbed out of the car and leaned against her
"I just got too hot. I'm alright, baby. C'mon, let's go in. The biggest steak on the menu is callin me and Wheeler's buyin dinner." Deacon smiled and slipped his jacket back on
"Deacon! You're supposed to limit your red meat intake." Rayna reminded him
"We're at the best damn steakhouse in Nashville, Rayna! I'm not ordering chicken or fish."
Deacon seemed to be feeling better by the time his steak arrived. He and Rayna were at a table with Stephanie and Luke. Mason and Sage seemed to be hitting it off well and sat with Gunnar and Scarlett at another table. Maddie and Colt mingled and tried to visit a little with everyone before dinner.
After dinner Stephanie had excused herself to take a business call. Rayna and Deacon were alone at the table with Luke.
"Steph's been doin some catering and baking for local parties and such. Gives her somethin to keep busy now that I'm capable of takin care of myself again." Luke tried to break the awkward silence
"Really? I had no idea. I'll keep her in mind for HighWay65 events. We use local caterers for lunches sometimes." Rayna replied
"Oh yeah…you'll love anything she makes. She's an amazing chef. I'm surprised I'm not fatter than I am. She keeps me well fed."
"You look good, Wheeler. I wasn't sure how you were. You hear so many things, ya know. I guess we shoulda called or sent a card or somethin after we heard, but…" Deacon awkwardly tried to approach the subject of Luke's accident
"Hey…it's alright. Lotta bad blood between us. I just hope for Maddie and Colt and that new grandbaby we got comin we can put the past behind us and be one big happy family."
"Yeah…yeah…it's been a long time. Things between Ray and I have been really good for a long time. Let's just leave it all where it is and move on."
"I am really sorry about everything that happened. I know it's way overdue, but I was a jerk the night you left the tour, Rayna. I am truly sorry for that."
"I'm sorry too, Luke. You're right. We need to forgive and forget for the kids and grandkids." Rayna agreed
"Well…we still do the big 4th of July party at the ranch every year. You guys and all the kids are more than welcome this year."
'Actually, we already made plans to spend the holiday weekend at the cabin with all the kids this year, but thanks for the invite. How about we plan something with the Claybourne's and Wheeler's Labor day weekend?" Rayna suggested
"OK, yeah…I'll have Steph put together a big feast. It's a date!"
"It's getting kinda late. We've got a big day and a late night tomorrow. We should probably get everybody home. Where's Mason?" Rayna asked
"I dunno. Haven't seen him since dessert." Deacon looked around
"Maybe he's out in the car with his ipad or something. I think he brought it." Rayna said as everyone got up to leave
Luke paid the bill and everyone slowly filtered out to the parking lot saying their goodbyes until tomorrow.
The group stopped and starred in shock as they approached the vehicles in the parking lot. Apparently Sage and Mason had really hit it off. They hadn't even noticed their parents watching, they were so wrapped up in a heavy make out session between Rayna's Escalade and Luke's Navigator.