Date: 5/26/13
Rating: T
Genre: Angst, Drama, Romance
Prompt: 631 - Apology
***FAVE. UNF.
Sakura coughed as she waved the dust from her eyes. She cursed. That last blast caught them all off-guard, but hopefully, no one was too injured. But when Sakura scanned the surrounding area, she saw Sasuke on the ground not more than thirty feet away from her. He wasn't moving. "Sasuke-kun!" she exclaimed, jumping to her feet and running to him, "Are you okay?"
"Sakura, I'm fine," he said, coughing a few times before sitting up. "Come on. Let's go."
"Wait," she said, placing a hand on his shoulder, "Just let me make sure you're not injured first."
However, Sasuke merely stared at her hand with dismay, the bitterness clear in his voice. "You sure not going to try to kill me instead?"
Sakura's eyes widened. She snatched her hand from his shoulder. It felt like he had burned her. "That's—That's not fair, Sasuke-kun, and you know it." She bit her lip. Sakura may have been right next to Sasuke, but she never felt so far away. She couldn't even look him in the eye, the memory of that day still fresh, still in the process of healing. "You tried to kill me, too, you know," she said faintly.
"Self-defense."
The way he said it; it was so matter-of-fact, so obvious, that it almost seemed justified. And for a moment, Sakura wondered if maybe she deserved it after all. Sasuke seemed to think so. "But I wasn't going to do it," Sakura said wearily, almost like she was trying to convince herself along with him. "I couldn't do it."
But Sasuke shook his head as he stood up and began to walk away. "Doesn't matter."
"So that's it, then?" Sakura asked, still on the ground, "We're just done talking?"
He stopped. But he didn't face her. "Hn."
Sakura clenched her fists. "What about me?" She got to her feet and ran towards Sasuke, pulling on his shoulder so he could look at her. "Aren't I allowed to be angry, too? Don't act like you're the only one who's gotten hurt since this damn war started because you're not! Maybe I don't have an excuse good enough to help you understand what I did, but something wasn't right. You felt different. You didn't feel like you." Her voice lowered. "You didn't feel like the Sasuke-kun I knew."
Sasuke stared at her, replying flatly, "I'm not the same person I was when we were twelve, Sakura."
"I know that!" she yelled, "And neither am I! None of us are!" She didn't even know why she was still talking to him. It felt like anything she said wouldn't even have made a difference. She just couldn't help it. "But you should know," she said slowly, her voice on the edge of cracking, "what I felt back then, that darkness, I don't feel it anymore.
"No, you're not the same person I remember, and you probably never will be. But that's not a bad thing. And I'm just," she paused, turning her back to him now, so he couldn't see how close she was to crying, "just so thankful because of that. But I get it. You're angry with me. But I was angry with you, too, Sasuke-kun. Maybe I was selfish for thinking I could save you by killing you, but I couldn't just sit back and watch you destroy yourself. Because it would end up killing me, too, and—and—And I'm sorry." Her hand quickly went to her mouth, suppressing the sob. But once the tears began to flow, they wouldn't stop. "So I'll leave you alone now."
And without another word, Sakura ran, tears streaming down her face. She'd be lying if she said she didn't hope Sasuke would stop her, but a small part of her was also relieved. She was never one of those girls who looked beautiful when she cried. Her nose ran. Her eyes puffed up. Her cheeks flushed. And if Sasuke didn't stick around to see that, then Sakura couldn't complain too much.
However, Sakura didn't move more than twenty feet when she felt strong hands forcefully turn her around, the initial fear of falling disappearing once she felt herself against Sasuke's chest. "Sasuke-kun—?"
She felt Sasuke's arms around her tighten, his hands clutching on to her body as if for dear life, his head buried in her hair. He was shaking.
"… Sakura," he said quietly, closing his eyes, repeating her name a few more times. He never knew why, but for him her name was like collateral; it gave him strength, security. Sasuke felt her relax, her tears seeping into his shirt. He didn't even know where to begin. There was just so much to be sorry for, to be thankful for. He said her name again. Collateral.
He thought about everything that had happened between them, wondering where to begin. But he was lost. How does one fit every wrong into an apology? How does one put into words their atonement? It seemed impossible. "Sakura, I'm so sorry," Sasuke said, but once the words came out of his mouth, he knew it wasn't good enough. He cursed himself. "I—"
"No, Sasuke-kun, it's okay," Sakura interrupted him, shifting herself so she could look up at him. "You don't have to say another word. I understand," she said. She hadn't stopped crying, but this time her tears were no cause for alarm. She was smiling. "And I forgive you."
Sasuke shook his head in disbelief; he didn't understand. "How could you just forgive me so easily?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Sakura said gently, laughing, "It's because I love you."
"But—
"I've loved you since I was twelve, Sasuke-kun." She rested her head back on his chest and closed her eyes. "And I've never stopped, not even for a second."
Sasuke couldn't believe it. She still loved him. And had Sasuke been anyone else, maybe he would have said something back. But he wasn't, and that was okay. Instead, Sasuke held her close, resting his head on hers, thankful. Because Sakura loved him.
"Oh, and Sasuke-kun?" Sakura finally said, her voice muffled, breaking the silence.
"Hm?"
"I can't breathe."