4

"This room is better maintained, I'll take it."
"Excuse me? No, you can't, this is where I slee-!"
"Fetch me a drink."
"No."
"NOW!"
I made strangulating gestures behind him as he surveyed my bedroom, his hands behind his back. He turned around and eyed me.
"Are you still here?"
I threw my hands up in despair and retreated to the small square kitchen that was separated from the sitting room by a black marble-top island. Grudgingly I snatched a glass off the shelf and thrust it under the tap, then carried it back to my room grumbling under my breath. When I returned, he was bent over my vanity, prodding at something. He picked it up curiously and his finger caught on a switch on its side. It whirred to life and I watched in horror as Loki hurled my epilator across the room, sending it shattering into the wall. It twitched in a heap of broken plastic and metal and wires and finally stopped.
"What a vile house pet." He observed then reached for the glass. "Ah, thank you."
He drained the glass in a single gulp and swallowed. A split second later his face contorted.
"What on earth is this?!"
"It's water," I stated.
"It's foul!"
"Did you expect me to buy mineral?"
He frowned at me and I groaned.
"Why am I being punished like this?" I asked woefully to the ceiling.
"My sentiments exactly."
"You!" I pointed maniacally at the delusional Swedish tourist in front of me. Calm down, you'll give yourself an aneurysm.

Loki seemed to be amused with my poorly concealed rage. He crossed the room, handed me the glass and shoved me out before shutting the door in my face.
"What?" I thumped my fist on the wood. "No! You can't just- You'd better not be a panty-sniffing pervert!"
I forced myself back to the sitting room and sat down heavily on the threadbare couch. I'd be damned if I was sleeping here. What a jerk! Who does he think he is? The minute that door opened, I would give him a piece of my mind and if he tried any funny business, I would run out hollering for Officer Hank, who lived two houses away. But the door did not open for many hours. I spent the first glaring at it and feeling incredibly foolish. As the minutes passed on, I sank lower and lower into the couch, trying to keep my eyes open. At once I shook my head violently and pulled out a crossword from the dailies. It was over two months old. I hadn't been able to pay to renew my news subscription. My plan sustained m wakefulness for about seventeen correct guesses and before I knew it I had fallen asleep.

I had no idea what time it was when I began to stir. All I knew was that I had the uncomfortable feeling of being watched. When I cracked open my eyes, I found someone seated opposite me, gazing intently.

"Something is very wrong with your kitchen." Loki told.
"What?" I asked, rubbing my eyes and forcing my body to wake and react. Then I heard the soft gurgle and splash issuing from behind me. When I tried to stand, I found water pooling around my feet. Loki was seated cross legged on the coffee table, his face pallid as he watched me skidding towards the kitchen.

I had left the faucet on. The drain had clogged again and the sink was overflowing. Could this day be any worse? Was that a challenge? In a frantic attempt to turn the water off, I lost my footing and landed squarely on my bottom, splattering the walls and cabinets and myself with water.
"Bollocks!" I growled, trying to right myself and failing miserably as my body tilted forward sending me to my knees. I had finally got the faucet off and I was pulling the cabinet open for the mop when it tumbled out, smacking me right on the forehead before clattering into the puddle.

"Really, can't you get anything right?" Loki scoffed.
"BE QUIET!" I wailed, brandishing the sponge end of the mop at him. He shook his head disapprovingly and made an odd gesture with his hand. The kitchen was dry, not a single drop of water anywhere but my dripping hair and clothes. Loki smirked at me clutching my mop protectively.
"One might have hoped you would make up for your insolence with some modicum of refined motor skill," he rolled his eyes. "But unsurprisingly, one is to be disappointed."
I stared fearfully at him as he raised himself to his full height, crossing his arms over his chest. How is this happening?
"What did you do?"
"I believe it's called helping. Really, don't you people know how to be grateful?"
"No, no, no," I stared in disbelief, "the water, where did the-? How did you-?"
"Magic, science, whatever you want to call it," he said nonchalantly. "Don't worry your little head with it, it's beyond you."

My mind was screaming sharp warnings at me.

And then it hit me.

Loki?

I had heard that name before. Or seen it, or read it, maybe recently, maybe long ago. Without bothering to dry off or change, I crossed the room, throwing the mop aside when I wrenched the front door open. It was darkening outside as I raced to my truck, throwing myself over the side and feeling about for the pocket book. I held it under the streetlamp and scanned the index. Norse Mythology, Page 49. Flipping through the book, I stopped at a name in the middle of the yellowing page. God of Mischief and Lies.
There was a woodblock image printed on the opposite page of a disgruntled looking man, shrouded in shadow, adorning a crown with two massive horns.

"I don't see the likeness, do you?"

I nearly jumped out of my skin, wheeling around to find Loki had been peering over my shoulder.

"You!" Was about all I could manage at the moment.
"Well, I for one think it's a horrid picture," he shrugged. "You look frightened."
"F-frightened?" I felt the heat escape my ears and the spaces between my fingers. "Try livid!"
"Whatever about?" He asked with a sly grin.
How dare he smile at you like that! With his stupid perfect teeth and his face! How dare he!
"Well! You'll be pleased to know I don't feel so guilty about almost running you over, you manipulative little-" I couldn't quite finish my sentence.
"No, not at all."
"I'm on to you!" I waved my finger at him then a thought struck me. I was still asleep. I had never woken up at all. It was still dawn and I hadn't been woken by the Riverside Deliveries director for duty. "I'm dreaming."
"Why are you pinching yourself?"
"Shh!" I said squeezing my eyes shut and then opening them. He was still standing before me, traces of his smug smile still visible on his face.
"This is getting to be ridiculous."
A vague memory came to me – of a bar tucked away somewhere in South Dutton, after a particularly long day of deliveries. Maybe I hadn't even managed to get to sleep. Maybe I had gotten drunk at the bar. Maybe someone spiked my drink and I was hallucinating. I clapped my hands a couple of times, wiggled my fingers and whispered, "Away with you, spectre!"
This amused him to no end and his laughter aggravating me gravely.
"Of all the clinically insane humans to have crash-landed on."
He just called you crazy, are you just going to take that lying down?
I found myself charging at him, bellowing at the top of my lungs. I wasn't quite certain of the plan of action. He could easily overpower me unless I somehow tickled him to death. I stopped in my tracks when he raised his palm to me.
"Enough," he breathed. "I'm in no mood for games, I require replenishment."

Loki turned and walked back to the house, leaving me out on the drive, clutching my book of mythologies.