Note: It's been SUCH a long time since I updated that I can barely remember what I was supposed to write...

I'm sorry I've neglected this fic! I'm so busy with university and I was updating Meet the Lupins and Meet the Muggles, and then I decided to start a new fic and make the situation even worse! Clever me!

And yes, I think the title is very creative too...!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor am I making any profit from this piece of writing.

17: At St Mungo's

The soft, familiar rustling of a paper bag made Teddy Lupin's stomach twist uncomfortably as he stepped into the little room to find his father sat up in bed, face buried in the brown paper, inhaling deeply.

"Wotcher, love." Tonks greeted as she followed the boy inside, reaching to push the door shut behind them.

Remus paused in his inhaling to draw the paper bag away from his face, offering the two visitors a weak smile.

"Healer says I'm out of here in an...hour or two." he wheezed as his wife wandered over to his side, leaning to press a kiss to his cheek.

"Good thing too," the witch said as Teddy eyed the paper bag despairingly. "My deal with Minerva's not working out."

"It's not?"

"No...if I teach any more lessons I'll have to start marking homework!" she gave an exaggerated shudder, and the werewolf chuckled, only to find himself spluttering and coughing within seconds, shoulders hunched in an attempt to control the outburst. It was at that moment that the door opened behind them and a healer dressed in bright green robes entered the room, clutching a clipboard to her chest.

"Ah, you're here." she observed brightly as she strode purposefully into the room, straight past Teddy as if he was not even there and coming to a halt at Tonks' side. "I wonder if I might have a word with the two of you alone first." Teddy found himself offered a meaningful glance, and Tonks suggested:

"Why don't you step outside for a moment, love?"

Not at all reassured by the much too bright smile that Remus shot him, Teddy obediently shuffled over to the door, reaching to push it open before stepping out into the corridor. As the door swung shut behind him, the boy spotted a uncomfortable looking plastic chair to his right and went to sit down upon it. Bored within seconds, he resorted to counting tiles upon the ceiling to pass the time.

He had just counted tile number twenty when he heard the sound of the double doors down the corridor being thrown open, and as he turned to see who was making such a dramatic entrance, Teddy spotted a young boy, perhaps a few years his junior, hurrying down the corridor towards him. He was a rather scrawny looking child, dressed in brown cord trousers and an oversized orange t-shirt. His long blonde hair was in disarray and there was a distinctly panicked expression upon this thin, pointy face as he hurried along. To Teddy's deepest bemusement, the other boy skidded to a halt beside a large filing cabinet in which the healers kept patient files, before dropping into a crouch, pressing himself into the corner and reaching to hug his legs with his arms, face buried in his knees.

Glancing back up the corridor to find himself alone with the strange boy, Teddy rose cautiously to his feet and took a few steps forward.

"Excuse me...?" the metamorphmagus called uncertainly as the other boy seemingly burst into tears that made him tremble from head to toe. "Hello? Are you okay...?"

When Teddy took a few more steps forward, the boy's head jerked up to look at him so suddenly that the werewolf's son took a small step backwards in surprise. As a pair of watery eyes stared at him nervously, Teddy attempted to fix a friendly expression onto his face.

"Hi," he greeted, raising a hand in vague greeting. "My name's Teddy...Teddy Lupin. What's your name?" When the stranger simply continued to stare at him with wide, pale grey eyes, Teddy decided: "I guess it doesn't matter. So...so are you okay? What's wrong? You can tell me, you know, maybe I can help you...I could find somebody...or something..."

"Do you hate them too?"

At the boy's whispered question, Teddy leant forward, a small frown creasing his brow.

"Pardon?" he said, trying to ignore the boy's staring. It rather reminded him of when he had met Moirai Cantrall in the Hospital Wing and she had made the prophecy. It was not the sort of reminder that he really liked at all.

"Do you hate them too?" the boy whispered again, and before Teddy could explain that he had no clue whatsoever as to who "they" were, the younger boy's face suddenly contorted furiously and he jerked a hand up to point at Teddy accusingly. "You do, don't you?" he cried, voice a shrill shout. "You do, I know you do! You...you all do!"

Teddy was about to attempt to say something reassuring to the strange boy when he heard the sound of the double doors being thrown open again and a familiar voice announced loudly:

"Here he is!"

The boy's gaze snapped to the newcomer, his breathing ragged from his little outburst, and he cried:

"UNCLE!"

Teddy turned back towards the doors, breath catching in his throat as he found himself looking at none other than Artemis Carrow-Smyth, flanked by a couple of the hospital's healers.

Carrow-Smyth seemed not to notice the turquoise haired boy at all as he hurried down the corridor towards the blonde child, coming to an abrupt halt before him, reaching to grasp hold of him by the arm and pull him back onto his feet.

"For the love of Merlin, Elijah! You've had us worried sick!" the wizard exclaimed as the boy stared up at him, glass-eyed.

"Do you hate them, Uncle?" Elijah whispered, and Carrow-Smyth sighed heavily, reaching to lay both hands upon the boy's shoulders, steering him over towards Teddy's now vacant chair.

"No, no, of course I don't. I've told you so many times...here, sit down here for a moment, there's a good boy..."

"Why don't you bring him back to the ward when he's calmed down a little?" one of the healers, a tall woman wearing oversized spectacles suggested, eying Elijah somewhat apprehensively, and the boy's uncle look round at her with a grateful look.

"Yes, yes I'll do that." he murmured as Elijah fidgeted in his chair. "Thank you, Healer Jones."

As the two healers turned and headed back towards the double doors, Carrow-Smyth at last caught sight of Teddy, mismatched eyes widening in surprise as Teddy attempted to straighten up and say as politely as he could manage:

"Good afternoon, Mr. Carrow-Smyth."

Carrow-Smyth opened and closed his mouth a few times, as if he was not entirely sure what to say, only for Elijah to make a sudden move to escape from his seat, causing the man to hastily turn his attention back to the boy, hands grasping his forearms to halt his escape.

"Sit still, Elijah." Teddy heard him instruct softly, and Teddy couldn't help but think that the grizzled wizard sounded unnaturally kind. "That's it, sit still for Uncle Artemis, won't you?" When he turned back to Teddy, his voice seemed back to it's usual sour self. "What are you doing here?" he asked, face contorting irritably.

Teddy was about to answer when he heard a door being pulled open behind him, and Carrow-Smyth's face seemingly drained of colour, he hastily straightened up, reaching to tug awkwardly at his black robes.

"Dora..." he mumbled, peering past Teddy in a distinctly abashed manner, and Teddy glanced behind him to see his mother standing in the doorway, hand still upon the door handle as she paused to stare at the trio out in the corridor with eyes as wide as Elijah's. After a moment she seemingly got over her shock, pulling the door shut behind her and taking a few steps out into the corridor, arms folded defensively across her chest.

"Hello Artemis." she greeted, sounding more awkward than he by far, and both adults seemed relieved when Elijah's gaze focused upon her and he scrambled to his feet, pushing his uncle's hands away from him.

"AUNTIE DORA!" the boy exclaimed, and Tonks offered him a weak smile and a feeble wave.

"Wotcher, Elijah!" she greeted with forced enthusiasm as the boy hurried towards her. "It's not Auntie Dora though, is it love? We're not related...thank Merlin." she added under her breath, shooting Carrow-Smyth a vague, uncertain smile that was not much more than a twitch of the lips, only for Elijah to throw his arms around her, the force of the collision making her stumble backwards a step.

"Auntie Dora doesn't hate them." Elijah announced, shooting an accusing look over his shoulder at Carrow-Smyth, and Teddy watched the wizard hastily march up the corridor, reaching to pull the boy away from the witch with an apologetic glance.

"We know, Elijah." he muttered impatiently. "Now go and sit down." As the boy obediently wandered back to his chair, the two adults were left to stare at one another, both minds clearly racing to think of what to say.

"Listen, Art..." Tonks began, hands clasped together resolutely behind her back, only for Carrow-Smyth to say:

"Dora, I..."

They both trailed off into silence. Carrow-Smyth heaved an awkward sigh and Tonks examined her boots with a frown. Teddy shuffled back a few steps towards the door of Remus' room, feeling awkward too, as if he were intruding on something very private.

"You're a bastard." Tonks announced eventually, folding her arms across her chest again and fixing the man stood before her with a stare. "You're an interfering little bastard, and I want you to leave my husband alone."

Carrow-Smyth drew breath to reply, but she held up a hand to silence him.

"But," she went on, frowning slightly as if doing so was an effort. "I shouldn't have hexed you. It was wrong of me. And I'm sorry."

For a long moment, Carrow-Smyth looked somewhat overwhelmed by this admission of guilt, but eventually he murmured:

"Thank you."

For a moment Teddy thought that Tonks would go as far as to truly smile at him, but then he admitted:

"But I can't. Leave him alone, I mean. I hope you can understand."

Tonks' lips pursed together into a thin line and she regarded the man in silence for a long moment before she said:

"Ted?"

"Yes Mum?" Teddy mumbled, watching worriedly as he watched her fingers toying with the opening of the pocket in which she kept her wand.

"Go and sit with Dad." she instructed without giving him so much as a glance, and as he mumbled obediently and turned to shuffle slowly towards the door, he heard her take a few steps towards Carrow-Smyth, her voice a mixture of fury and disbelief.

"You're bloody mental, Artemis! Seriously...this is insane."

"Somebody's got to do it." Teddy heard the wizard explain carelessly, and the boy paused by the door to listen for a moment or so longer.

"No they bloody don't!" Tonks snapped, struggling not to raise her voice. "Art...listen to me...I'm warning you, don't screw around with me. Remus is sick, Merlin knows what a spell in Azkaban would do to him..."

"What's wrong with him?"

"That's none of your business, I'm just asking you to attempt to be a decent human being..."

"Is it serious?"

"No..."

"Pity..."

"Sweet Merlin, listen to what you're saying, Artemis. It's...it's inhuman..."

"It's for you."

"That's offensive, you know?"

"So...if he's sick...just how far are you prepared to go to stop me?"

Teddy just about caught sight of the smug smile upon his face as he eyed the witch thoughtfully before the door was pulled open and he found the healer inside offering him a questioning look.

"In or out?" she asked with a raised eyebrow, and he hurriedly shuffled into the room. Once sat down upon the edge of Remus' bed, he attempted to concentrate on telling his father all about Chester and his silly attitude towards Victoire, just for something to talk about, but found himself much too preoccupied with just what might be going on out in the corridor. He decided against telling his father that Carrow-Smyth was out there talking to Tonks, he rather supposed Remus didn't need the drama. After some fifteen minutes the healer began to get rather impatient, commenting that she had other patients to see to, and so Remus suggested Teddy stick his head outside to see what was taking his mother so long. As he slid off of the bed and headed for the door, Teddy wondered exactly what he would see upon opening the door, whether or not he would find the two adults at each others' throats, or midway through a duel whilst Elijah took cover behind the filing cabinet...

When he did finally poke his head out of the door, Teddy barely managed not to jump back and crack his head on the door frame in surprise. First he spotted Elijah, back crouched down beside the filing cabinet, face buried in his hands, oblivious to the world.

Secondly he turned just in time to see Artemis Carrow-Smyth's arms being wrenched free of his mother's waist, before the witch in question gave him a firm shove backwards, away from their position sandwiched up against the wall, causing him to trip backwards and fall flat upon his back with a distinct groan of pain.

As her son stared at her with wide, shocked eyes, Tonks reached to wipe the back of her hand across her mouth, expression momentarily shocked too, before she turned on her heel and marched back towards her husband's room, as if nothing strange had happened in the slightest, with a cheery:

"C'mon then, Teddy love."