Chapter 3—What they don't know will hurt them
Now under normal conditions, a normal student would be suspended or expelled for missing detentions or the way I was acting. I refused to go to class and had to be dragged their which could be dangerous to those trying. Magicals did not know kung fu and more than one Auror visited the hospital. I refused to wear their Victorian robes, muggle attire was comfortable. Why go to classes, I had no wand, so I refused to take part in class even if I was dragged there.
"Fifty Points from Gryffindore", sneered Snape.
"Make it a hundred Snapey-poo, I really don't care."
"Detentions for a week, starting tonight", his voice was approaching a scream.
"Sorry I have plans to watch my fingernails grow, so I won't be there."
He started towards me, I believe with bodily harm for me on his mind. At the last moment he remembered the last time he tried and flew into a students caldron. Drawing his wand he fired off a couple of curses which I dodged. By this time the class was escaping into the hall to avoid getting hit and of course at least one student raced off to find another Professor. This time I did not end up in the hospital.
Taking points was to cause the other students to teach me a lesson as Gryffindore House currently had no points left. Sometimes they won when they had ten students that wanted to teach me a lesson. That was not often and they later regretted their actions. In the Great Hall, they even refused to give me cutlery for eating. The hospital had a landslide business, I was not very nice.
Flashback:
I was calmly eating my dinner when Draco Malfoy a blond Ponce came up with his two goons. I could see Snape watching out of the corner of my eye. "Hay Potter been beat up recently, I can help out if you want, I…" He laid his hand on my shoulder to turn me around.
He was running around in circles screaming like a three-year old. He had my fork in his shoulder. His two goons decided to make like a troll on my head, Goyle went flying across the Gryffindore table. Food and dishes were flying everywhere. Crab did a no-no, tried to grab me, and ended on the floor whining, with a broken arm. Snape had pulled his wand and fire a curse at me. I rolled and picked up one of the gold plates, it was not a Shinobi Star but it was closer to a wave star. I saw it hit his arm about the time they stunned me. What they did not catch was me picking up some cutlery while I was rolling around and their search was poorly done, if they did one.
Later that evening Ron Weasley had talked a few of his housemates into showing me a lesson in humility.
I turned a corner in the third floor hall and Ron started running his mouth. "You have cost us all our points so Slytherin will win the House cup, we are tired of your better than us attitude." They all closed in to teach me a lesson, they lost. Last I saw of Ron was him running down the hall leaving the others to their fate. The rest of the students were in the hospital for assorted cuts and broken parts. They had not found the knife I used to make those cuts deep and stab wounds nasty, I had plans to use it later if this did not stop.
End Flashback:
I appeared to be a normal student in Fumble-ups view; I wondered what his plans were for me a student that caused mayhem and injuries.
These loons had confiscated my wand, stave, knives etc. They had removed my utensils when I ate, as they were weapons in my hands. They were like the Dursleys never noticing that I compensated by a simple cutting curse for my steak and a levitating charm. Oh, right, cutting curses were not taught at Hogwarts to first years so how would I know one.
/Scene Break/
Bored, absolutely bored, I need to get out so I trudged downstairs and headed towards the greenhouses, my guard was already winded, and exercise was not part of the wizard life style. I headed towards the Whomping Willow at a fast pace. Then I bolted as close to the Whomping Willow as I could and straight into the Forbidden Forest. I think I heard a stunner or two but I was in the forest. I walked for about a half hour and tried to 'apperated' to Gringotts, I was past the wards.
I collected some money and headed into Knockturn Alley to pick up some knives and a stave and a change of clothes. I 'apperated' to the alley behind the mall and boarded a muggle bus to the tube to take me to the train station and headed out of town. I found a nice restaurant and hotel in Hawes. No real reason for going there and it was nice to eat with a knife and fork again. Madeye again got me with a stunner about three days later and I awoke in the hospital at Hogwarts. My money, knives and stave were gone. I wonder where they are keeping my property, maybe I can sue.
/Scene Break/
I was waiting to catch the headmaster where I could give him a good thumping where I figured in my stave. Oh, they do not overly check incoming owl post so I had my knives, stave, and wand in my bed, which I had heavily warded. The wand maker was making a fortune off me. I carried the stave as a habit, but I got a pleasant surprise. I never got to the Headmaster as I figured it best to lay low for the rest of the year.
The globe lit one night while I was just off one of the stairs landings. I had given my groupies and the guard the slip. I had to freeze all the portraits in the area because the stupid stairs were off wandering around. As I waited for the stairs, there was Quirrell and a hot glowing globe. Well he got the stave to the back of his turbine. Surprisingly he does this half gainer off the landing and after falling six floors, he hit headfirst on a marble floor landing. Quirrell retired from teaching only into his second year. The black mist that rose from his turbine was a mystery to me for almost a whole year. I went back to night school in the restricted section for the rest of the year, as it was best to avoid the herd of Aurors that descended on the school checking wands. The Aurors also got to join the 'Harry chase at night club' at the behest and orders from Twinkles. It was too bad that they never looked for muggle fingerprints on a stave.
The Auras chasing around checking people's wands and asking questions did not stop me from going to the restricted section each night to study, nothing would. I was still surprised at how some time they would look right at me and not see me standing there.
One night a book I was reading referenced the founder's library, which started me on a hunt that lasted quite a while. The information was skimpy but I got the impression that the restricted section was an increase of knowledge that the regular library did not have. Therefore, the next section would be the founder's library for the ultimate knowledge above the restricted section. One library followed by a better one and then the best. The next wall was just that a solid blank wall, the other two library were in line with each other, why not the Founders library. I was at a loss, was I right, wrong or just hoping I could find the Founders library. However, a phrase that kept popping up in books in the restricted section. "I swear I am pure of heart and desire knowledge to guide me".
Me? Pure of heart? Yea right! Since there is no one here but me to embarrass, what the hell, I said the phrase at the blank wall and nothing, boy I feel stupid. I crossed my arms across my chest and leaned my back against the wall to do some thinking and I fell through. Dam it was a portal like 9 ¾ but with a password.
The wall torches came on automatically and I found shelves of tomes. I plowed through tome after tome and found magic that I had never heard of along with instructions how to do the magic. The wand-less magic spells intrigued me but the different types of 'apperating' or travel was on the top of my list, 'Fading' sounded like my type of travel. It would also help me avoid everyone. Therefore, with perseverance I had 'fading' mastered within the week.
/Scene Break/
The whole place here is a joke, run by a nutter. Every summer we play the same game, "You are going to the Dursley's" I say no, he gets a bunch of adults to escort me there and I escape and the 'Harry hunt' begins again. I have had to give up my flat as they have guards there all the time. DMLE will come but Amelia arrests them and Dumdum releases them.
I had amassed enough detentions to fill in the next eight years but they had to end before curfew (if I attended). So whether I went to the bathroom or turned a corner quickly they lost me as I 'faded' to the founders library. I think they lost more sleep than I did.
/Scene Break/
Draco and his twin idiots Crab and Goyle were always trying to make my life miserable for some unknown reason (Maybe Cutlery excess?). Well with all the studying in my super library, I had learned some tricks that I wanted to try. Well Draco being an accommodating sort tried to get his goons to ruff me up in a deserted corridor. "Obliviate" I intoned as I pushed my wand-less magic and I got all of them with one spell. I could care less if I wiped all their memory cells, but alas no luck, of course they may not have had any to erase. Then I had an idea that I thought had merit. Luckily, there were no portraits in that corridor and a quick 'Obliviate' took care of Ron who was following me. There was this 'Imperio' curse I read about and tried it and boy did it work great on Draco.
During dinner that night, Draco ran into the Great Hall completely naked and hopped on the teacher's table. Standing on one leg with his arm in the right position started singing, "I'm a little teapot" as he pee'ed on their food. Well it was nothing that the teachers could not handle but it got me back to the library to figure out how magic could work in different ways. It appeared that the imperious curse was illegal so here came the Aurors again and everyone's wand was checked. What got my attention even more was that Aurors could not find the magical signature of the person who cast the 'imperious' spell. Therefore, my wand signature is different from my wand-less signature. Does wand-less magic have a signature? All I had to do was look slow, act slowly in class and everyone just knew I could not do things like the 'imperius' curse etc. There was of course the fact that I was followed everywhere and DumbleButt had my wand so I had to be innocent, right? DumbleButt made a bit production of returning my wand several days later as he wanted me to be safe, "Harry I am returning your wand, I want you to be safe, with a teacher death and student's having an unforgivable being used on them, I want you to be safe."
It may have held more credability if he returned my knives and money and all my wands.
/Scene Break/
Ron Weasley was a real piece of work. Not only was he jealous, a slob but also a sneak thief. He kept going thru my trunk and stuff on a constant basis, hell he even searched my dirty underwear. He also helped the odd Knut to disappear from my desk along with any food he found. Most of my important stuff was under a disillusionment charm, warded and in the Founders library section, which included my money. After years in the library, I was getting quite an education. Hogwarts was not doing a good job at teaching magic; it was more like a babysitting school to train kids not to kill themselves with magic and what I had not been told or taught at Hogwarts could fill several books.
I again had to back off when I did a couple of charms and spells that drew too much attention to me. The first was Hermione. She kept trying to steer me into all kinds of things by dropping hints like over a three-headed dog and a stone I had no reason to obtain in their second year and my first year. As a diversion, I dropped a few hints myself which got Ron to find a galleon, which he appropriated. Problem was that when he lost all his clothes during dinner, the galleon then fell at his feet for all to see. Everyone knew he never had any real money, but now they knew he was lacking in other areas. They went off looking for who did this to him with the Galleon and many eyes pointed at me. Therefore, I gave them the puppy dog eyes, turned out my pockets, and asked innocently "I have no money, the dunderheads took all my stuff when I arrived. You should ask him where he purloined it." I think it was more that the charm was a seventh year spell than my boyish charm, not to mention the memory charm that accompanied it, but it appeared to work Ron could not remember where he got the galleon.
/Scene Break/
Another area that I found hilarious was someone thought that I needed female company. (Twinkles most probably). I have no experience with love, I know of lust or take it when you can get it but again what was going on was hilarious. I have never seen so many love potions ending up in my food nor attempt to stuff a girl in my face. If Snape gave me detention, some way or another a girl would be serving detention at the same time and in the same cauldron if he could manage it. If it got any worse, I knew I would wake with a girl in my bed handcuffed to me and me to the bed. These detentions I enjoyed and religiously attended as they added new girls to my contact list. At my age what would I do with a willing prostitute? I figured I would be here for a couple of years and when I grew up I'd have a lot of female contacts.
Not too long after this, "get Harry a date" actions started than the Dailey Profit started an article. I now had an idea about the weird "get Harry a date", but the why eluded me.
The Boy-Who-lived or the Boy-Who-is-using-his-Fame!
This reporter has learned that the Boy-Who-Lived is going through the female population faster than the manufacturing of pregnancy potion can be made. A reliable source has informed this reporter that Harry Potter has bedded a large portion of Hogwarts and is in the process of luring the other half to his bed. His best friend Ron Weasel has expressed his fears that his girl friend will be next. It is the opinion of this reporter that the Ministry should investigate the charges and insure the safety of the female student population.
Rita Skeeter
The Dailey Profit
After that was all around the Great Hall via the rumor mills, I had great pleasure in harassing Ron with questions like "Ron they say you have a girl friend, no that must have been a misprint or are you seeing Moaning Myrtle.
"Ronald Weasley I am not your girl friend" Hermione picked up where I left off.
I asked Hermione suggestive questions like "Hermione did you enjoy last night with me?" in a loud voice. Oh! the reactions at the table.
/Scene Break/
One great blunder on my part was following the Weasley girl one night. It paid huge dividends in the end so a blunder may not be right even after all that happened. She was covered in blood, feathers and looked like hell. Then she hissed "OPEN" and the sink opened to a tube and she jumped in. Dummy me; I jumped in after her out of curiosity. That got me introduced to young Tom Riddle aka Voldemort and bitten by a Basilick.
Therefore, that is when I found out about the black smoke from Quirrell. When I stabbed the Diary, Tommy boy goes up in a black smoke, while I was also leaking black goo from my scar. The big turkey from the headmaster's office cried in my Basilick wound and that saved my life. Nice turkey flies us up and into Fumble-ups office where an interrogation begins. Lucky for me Ginny and I were both covered in muck, goo, and Morgana knows what else, everyone missed my scar goo. When I had a chance, I snuck back to the Goblins and it was confirmed the Horicrux was gone. The Turkey healed my condition but I still had Basilick venom in my blood. Exit one Horcrux.