Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.
Rated M for several reasons.
Chapter 23 Awkward
BPOV
The organisational powerhouse that is M. Alice Whitlock did not send me a text, she sent me an email, with a spreadsheet and a word document to explain the color coding in the spreadsheet. Her email said this was more efficient. The only hard data I could glean from it was that they would arrive on Friday evening and we would be photographed on Monday, with at least two 'hip and happening' parties scheduled in between.
I have known Alice for years so after I'd frowned at if for a while I forwarded it Lauren, with a guilty apology, asking her to co-ordinate directly with Alice when she was back from her vacation.
And then I got on with some work.
Edward's reply came in while I was pouring myself my umpteenth cup of coffee.
Subject: Re: Re: Photograph
Bella
I wish, I really wish, that I had never said or done anything to make you nervous. That's, so far away from what I wanted, but I understand it and I'm nervous too.
Nevertheless in the spirit of honesty I would much rather see you than not see you.
I have to ask if its okay for me to stay at the apartment too, Alice just assumed it in her plan but I'm not sure how much this contravenes the time and space you asked for.
Edward
I'm not sure how to answer that, although I think it's pretty obvious that it's okay because it hadn't occurred to me that he wouldn't stay with the rest of us. And maybe it will better and less awkward to get seeing him out of the way quickly before I can build it up into some massive issue? But I'm guessing that's slightly more honest than I should put in an email?
I close my eyes for a moment willing away the urge to kick Edward's ass, and Em's, and then I hit reply.
Subject: Time & Space
Is relative I'm told.
I don't want us to be awkward.
Bella
He doesn't respond and I guess that he hasn't got the brass neck to assure me that everything's going to be fine.
...
The traffic tonight is appalling and I end up going through my emails as Demetri drives and Edward's name leaps out at me.
Subject: Awkward
I have written and re-written this a thousand times but I think the crux of what I want to say is that I don't want us to be awkward either and I will do anything I can to prevent that happening.
I made this situation between us and you already know how sorry I am for it, and I hope, how much it isn't what I wanted.
It isn't your responsibility to fix this, it's mine, and next weekend I will follow your lead on how you want me to behave but I do still hope, very much, that we'll get a chance to talk.
Edward
x
...
Over the course of the week I worked hard to clear my desk so that I could enjoy having my 'family' in New York and I was relieved that I was excited enough about that not to get myself into a state worrying about seeing Edward.
Not that I didn't think about him, and often.
It might have helped that Aro's army of beautification engineers were all over me like the proverbial rash all week, getting me to my peak for the party season. Feel like a finely tuned race horse much? When I wasn't excited I was annoyed and when I wasn't excited or annoyed I was asleep. It didn't leave much time for worrying.
And then suddenly it was too late, Demetri dropped me home early to do the airport run but Felix called with a massive problem at work and before I knew it Demetri was calling to let me know he was pulling up downstairs.
Fuck.
Okay.
I feel sick.
Whatever.
I yank the door open to wait for the elevator.
The first face I see is Demetri's, stoic as he marshals a mountain of luggage that can only belong to Alice and then she's broken free of Jasper's restraining arms and launched herself at me, talking nineteen to the dozen and it's all so normal I don't even fully register that Edward's here until it's his turn to hug me.
He squeezes me a little tighter and holds me a little longer than anyone else does and I find that I don't mind that at all.
...
Within an hour Char and Pete arrive and within two my 'unlived in' apartment is in the best state of chaos. Talking, laughing, loud music, random dancing, Jasper and Peter yelling as they play Call of Duty, Flaming Sambucas setting off the smoke detectors, half eaten plates of catered food on every flat surface. Seriously, only the eight of us could create this much mayhem in such a short space of time . . . .
...
After trying to play Twister and deciding we're too old we end up sprawled around the living room while Rose starts rolling joints and Alice searches for a movie.
I'm so drunk the conversation recedes to a low hum around me and I'm not the only one, a similarly slack smile is on Char's face as our eyes meet . . . .
When I wake up I'm in my bed, fully clothed, its pitch black and the apartment is silent.
My tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth, yuk.
Still drunk I climb out of bed and stagger into the bathroom to brush my teeth.
Ugh, I need water . . . .
In the dark of the kitchen I blunder into a warm body.
"Sorry." Edward says, steadying me. "I needed hydration in the worst possible way."
"Me too." I groan, grabbing a glass from the cabinet and filling it with fresh cool nectar and taking a big gulp. "You okay on the couch?"
"I am now I've evicted all the leftover food." He chuckles.
I can just about make him out now, a dark familiar shape illuminated in part by the clock on the oven.
"Alice's itinerary says we have to get up in three hours." He sighs.
"Yeah, that's gonna suck."
"We'd better get back to bed." He suggests.
"Night Edward."
"Night Bella."
His hand briefly alights on my arm and I pat it gently before I pull myself away.
...
This morning does indeed suck.
My head feels like it's going to split open as Jasper, Edward and I trail after the super humans that are the Cullens and Rose.
"There is no mercy." Jasper groans. "My brother was smart to start a family they're protection from this infernal family."
"He probably feels like crap too." Edward points out.
"Yeah, but I bet he's lying on his fuck awesome couch while he does it."
Edward and I nod, as much as we're able, and focus on putting one foot in front of the other.
Alice takes pity on us at lunchtime and directs us to a fashionable diner.
I say fashionable because it looks like a diner but sells the kind of food that is not going to help with my hangover.
"Edward." I hiss as we wait our turn to slide into the booth. "I need grease."
"Jazz." He whispers, snagging Jasper's jacket. "Wait a sec . . . ."
"Alice." I raise my voice. "I'll be back in a minute. I need some fresh air."
Edward snickers and pokes me in the back. Yeah, I know we've been in the 'fresh air' for hours now.
"I'll go with her." He says.
"Me too." Jasper mutters and I don't wait for anyone to call us on it, turning and hurrying back to the door.
"Where are we going?" Jasper asks as the bell stops jangling behind us.
"Burger stand one block over, we can do it if we hurry . . . ."
I'm pretty sure we look like extras from 'Warm Bodies' as we shamble down the street, but I don't care, an overpriced salad is not going to cure what ails me.
...
The afternoon is much better and I gradually turn back into a human being again.
...
Tonight's party is about as hip as it can get and I'm grateful for Aro as I pull on the outfit he's prepared for me and fool around with Alice and Rose getting ready.
"Wow." Alice breathes as we survey ourselves in front of my full length mirror. "We really grew up."
"Yeah." Rose sighs, toasting our reflections with her glass of wine. "It's all downhill from here."
"Please." Alice huffs. "Fifty is the new forty and we've got fucking ages yet. Don't wish your life away."
"Depressing." I point out. "I'm on the cusp of spinsterhood."
"Cyggers, you're slow, not retarded." Rose drawls. "And you've always been strong in the finishing straight."
"And you're already technically a spinster." Alice adds.
I brandish my middle finger at her in the mirror and we all laugh.
"Okay." She squeals. "We look hot, let's grab our lucky men folk and paint this town red!"
...
This is one of those parties that has a red carpet and I hang back with a smile as Alice tells everyone who we are and what we're wearing and Rose towers over her glowering at the flashing cameras. I know this will get speculated about endlessly in the press but I don't begrudge Alice her moment in the limelight, she loves this shit.
Eventually we move into the club, coupling up so that I end up with Edward's hand hovering around my back and on my elbow. I'm acutely conscious of it, but not in a bad way.
As soon as we get drinks from the bar acquaintances claim me and I drift away from our group to work the room now so I can relax later. Nobody would believe it but this social butterfly stuff is much harder work than business relationships, in business we don't tend to care whether or not we like each other as long as everyone can play nice when they need to. Mercifully it doesn't take long and I'm on my way back to the others when I spot Jake talking to Edward at the bar.
Oh, ah, um. Awkward. My steps slow until I grind to a halt, half hidden by a pillar. They're smiling but there's nothing friendly about their body language, tight is the word I'd use to describe it. I have no idea what they're saying but after a moment Jake shakes his head , walking away, and Edward turns back to the bar. I'm still standing there like an idiot moments later when Alice and Rose take an arm each propelling me onto the dance floor with them.
I don't know how long we danced but eventually we made it back to the table the guys had staked out, flushed, laughing and in desperate need of liquid refreshment.
"Ew, sweaty." Jasper objects when Alice lands in his lap and plants a smacker on his lips.
"Thanks." I murmur to Edward who hands me a tall drink and laughs when I down it in several long gulps.
"Ladies!" Rose whisper yells when she's downed hers. "To the restroom!"
We haul Alice out of Jasper's lap and set off, laughing, I'm going to have a sore stomach tomorrow to go with my hangover. Hey ho . . . .
We're almost back to the table when Jake appears out of nowhere, Rose pauses but I smile to let her know it's okay for them to leave me, I'm sort of prepared for this. Sort of. I'm surprised to find that his dark beauty doesn't cloud my senses anymore, instead I just feel the eleven kinds of guilty I should have felt when we were together.
"You're home." I acknowledge, somewhat stupidly given the circumstances.
"Just for a couple of weeks."
"How's London?"
"Awesome when I'm actually there." He laughs.
"Right. Sorry. I still watch all your stuff."
His smile fades and so does mine.
Awkward.
"I still read all yours." He confesses. "So you and Eddie are an item now?"
"We're not, you know not to believe all that crap . . . ."
"Doesn't look like it." He murmurs, turning our bodies slightly.
Edward is staring at us, that familiar expression on his face, the one I couldn't place in Kentucky.
"He's jealous." I breathe.
"Yep." Jake laughs. "I reckon I know the acidic churning that's going on in his stomach right now."
"Jake, I . . . ."
"You're sorry. I know that Babe. I'm shit at advice and I don't know what's going on with you two but the selfish prick in me hopes that it works out so my suffering means something."
"Jake . . . ."
"You love him and he loves you. From where I'm standing that's simple and sweet Babe. I still think he's a total douche bag but he's your total douche bag and he always has been. If he's what you want don't talk yourself out of it now."
"I'm a terrible person." I groan.
"Yeah." He chuckles. "You really are. But come dance with me anyway, he can suffer a few minutes longer."
...
It takes a while but with the inevitability of death and taxes I eventually find myself alone at the table with Edward.
And it's as awkward as fuck because he's right there and I can't climb into his lap and seek comfort in his warmth.
He said he wanted us to try, really try, to be together. And though the consequences of it not working out terrify me I haven't been able to imagine not trying. Which says it all I suppose.
"So, Jacob's here." He says.
"Yes."
"I wanted to come over and split you up." He confesses, frowning down at his drink. "But I don't have the right."
"Maybe, if you still want to, you can earn the right?"
Green eyes flash up to meet mine and their intensity takes my breath away.