Mohawks and Manliness

Chapter 3

"Wow, dragon," Mirajane complimented as he poured her a glass of wine. "You really are remorseful."

"Uh-huh," he agreed before glancing at her. "You see the way I've cleaned up?"

"Very nicely," she complimented, glancing around the apartment for herself. "And you said something about making dinner?"

"The best dinner. Not like last time. Oh no. I was serious this time. Trust me."

"Believe me, I do."

It was two days later and, as always, Laxus was quick to realize that anger would get him nowhere with the demon and the only way back in with her was to come on his knees. Metaphorically, of course…luckily.

"Did you just go out and buy this?" Mira asked after taking a sip from the glass he'd poured her. "Lax?"

"Yep," he said, taking his seat next to her on the couch with his own glass. "Got the expensive shit for my demon."

"No cursing."

"I'm sorry. So sorry. Dragon's sorry." Then, even though he hated wine, he gulped down some then, just to please her. "I've been real bad, haven't I, demon?"

"Mmmhmm."

"And…I wasn't thinking. I get so wrapped up in our, you know, repartee that sometimes I forget myself. My surroundings. I should treat you better. I should-"

"Laxus? You're not winning me over."

Not yet, anyways. He knew that. It would take a minute or two. A few more compliments. Pleas for forgiveness. Some sweet talk. Say that he'd never be as honored as he was when she accepted him as her boyfriend. And would be even more so when she made him her husband. Just a bunch of garbage that got the demon all hot and bothered. And made her coo and love him. He'd been a master a seduction before Mirajane and, well, all his skills went to use with the woman. Even then sometimes that wasn't enough, but that night? That night he was going to make sure that it was.

"Sorry, demon." He let out a long sigh, shaking his head slightly. "I'm just…so torn up, you know? I wrote you a song."

"You did not."

"Well, I found you a song." He shifted on the couch to set his glass down before picking up his Sound Pod that sat there already. "I was laying in bed last night, heard it, and just thought about you."

"If it's about sex-"

"It's not." He gave her his saddest look, as if he were hurt. "It's about the winter."

"The winter?"

"Mmmhmm." He was moving to latch the spiked headphones onto her ears then. "It's about how it comes and kills."

"Lax," she complained, still unsure of where he was going. He just pressed a kiss to her head though.

"It kills everything," he mumbled against her forehead. "The crops, the animals, some people even, if they aren't prepared for it. But it's so beautiful, huh? It blankets the land in ice and snow, making it so white and pure. And even when it's over, when it melts, it raises the rivers, the deep blue rivers, as it turns to water, trying to drown out the yellow spring. But it never does. Ain't that so sad?"

Mirajane just stared into his eyes though. "Not for the yellow spring."

"Yes, for the yellow spring," he said as he just rested his forehead against hers then. "If he wants to get taken by the winter, I mean."

"Does he?"

"So much, demon," he whispered. "You don't even know."

"Then maybe he shouldn't just ask the winter flat out for sex and hardly ever take her anywhere nice anymore because, dragon, eventually the winter catches on to his ploys and gifts, which, by the way, there have not been enough of recently."

"You're a handful."

"So is winter." She shoved him away then before settling back into the couch, glass still in hand. "It's a cute song though. You've vastly butchered the meaning for your own gain, but then again, you do that with most things."

Sitting back then, Laxus just sent her a glare. "Since when did you get so savvy?"

"Uh, since you did this before. Don't you remember?'

"No. What?"

"You found some stupid song about summer and compared that to me."

"I did not."

"You did too! And you talked about how spring had to submit to summer, just like a dragon was to a demon-"

"Oh shit." He sat back then. "I'm losing my mind. I have done this exact thing to you before."

"I like this one better though, if it's any consolation."

"Have we really been together that long?" he mumbled. "That I'm having to reuse my lines and schemes?"

"Mmmm. Wine was a nice touch. And dinner smells fabulous."

"I'm losing my edge."

"It's okay, dragon," she said, glancing over at him. "You know I'm still going to give you something tonight."

"Something?"

"Not what you were wanting before, no, but something."

Huh.

"W-Well, you know that's not the only reason I invited you over."

"Mmmhmm."

"It's not." Shifting closer to her on the couch once more, he looked down at her before saying, "I've missed you."

"It's only been-"

"I know. But…knowing that you're angry at me, demon, is like-"

"Like knowing that your magic is there, but you just can't use it. You feel lost and incomplete. Because a dragon needs his-"

"Gah! What the hell, Mira?"

"You're not very original these days, Lax."

He took a moment to pout before, slowly saying, "You know, sitting here, just the two of us-"

"Reminds you of how we first met? When you saw me walk into the guildhall, all pissed at the world and how I came over to your table to sit down after talking to Master? And how we just glared at one another and-"

"I hate you. I hate this. We've been together too long."

"Poor dragon."

"Poor me."

"You know, if you would just try saying sorry and meaning it, that might work."

"Eh?"

"Mmmhmm." With her free hand, she began to take his headphones off her ears. "I love you, Laxus, but you embarrass me sometimes with just how…brazen you like to be. You think that it makes our relationship more real if you brag in front of others about how much sex we have or are upfront in public about what you want from me that night. It doesn't. It was cute at first, but now I don't like it."

"I know." That time he could only stare down at his feet. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." She even patted him on the shoulder. "I've dated worse men. Way worse men. You're…endearing. And I do love you. And I know that you love me. Sometimes you just gotta get passed that persona you want everyone to buy. I like gruff and rough, but I also like when you're being sincere and truly genuine."

Swallowing, he asked, "So, if I was sincere right now and told you that I really just want to bust a nut-"

"And it's over."

"Mira-"

"Behave, Laxus. Seriously. You are not that horny. And you are definitely not that deprived."

He wasn't. But he did think that he'd been getting a raw deal recently.

"I love you too, you know."

"Of course, dragon." She moved to set her wineglass down on the table then before kissing his cheek. "Silly. You say some silly things, you know that?"

And he was back to the simple version of Mirajane. Great.

Although…she was easier to manipulate when she wasn't feeling up to being intelligent.

"You hurt my feelings, Mira, making me think that you didn't know that."

'Aw."

"And that wine was real expensive."

"It's good," she agreed. "And I am drinking it. All of it, hopefully."

"You gonna get drunk demon?"

"I plan on it."

That made his job a lot easier. Why was he even wasting his time schmoozing her?

"Oh, Lax," she sighed as she took to just resting up against him. "I'm just glad too, you know, to get to have this night with you. And so soon after the last time I got off."

"The horror."

"I just know that you're going to take off again soon. You always do."

"I have to, Mira. That's how I get jewels, you know."

"I'm familiar with how it all works, yes."

"Then what do you want me to do?"

"I don't want you to do anything," she said. "I just find it odd that you can whine about how frequently we have sex, but the second I mention that you're hardly here half the time anyways, I'm the one in the wrong."

Apparently, he didn't have ditzy Mira at the moment. Huh.

"I didn't say that we weren't having enough sex," he told her simply. "I just said that I've spent the past few days trying to get laid-"

"Is that why we date then, Laxus? Why you make me dinner? Just so we can have sex?"

"Yeah, Mira, it is. Welcome to life."

"Dragon-"

"It's true. I'm just being real. I-"

"Then let's just fuck. Right now."

He about did a double take. How much wine had the woman had?

"Seriously?"

Mirajane just stared at him though and shrugged slightly. His suspicions were raised, however.

"This isn't a trick?"

"Why would I trick you?"

"Uh, because you're a demon."

"Look, if that's all you want out of this, fine. Then I can get back to work and not have to choke down that dinner in there that I just know is disgusting, like it usually is, with that stupid smile painted on my face."

"…What's going on now?"

"You wanted to be real, Laxus, right? So let's be real."

And therein laid the trick. He knew it was coming.

Mirajane-"

"Where do you want me? How do you want me?"

"Stop it."

"I'm happy, Lax. Now that I know it's just sex, I can leave after and don't have to lay around in your filthy apartment and listen to you snore all night. And, by the way, you could shower before I come over. Especially when you know in advance."

"You-"

"And for the record? When you get up in the night and lay your nasty coat over me, I don't like it. It stinks and it's itchy."

"What is your problem, woman?"

"I don't have a problem. You're the one-"

"Damn it, Mirajane, I love you, alright? And I love spending time with you. And yeah, I'm an asshole, so I have a fucking hard time getting around to saying that, but I do. Would I like that time to involve screwing? Sure. But if you just want to sit here tonight and do this, fine. But if you hated my cooking so much, you should have said something before I wasted all this time. I mean, sheesh. I'm a busy man, demon. But I make time for you. And maybe not as much as you'd like, but I do. I-"

"And I do for you too," she cut him off. "A lot. And when you pretend like I don't or like I'm a bad girlfriend-"

"I never called you a bad girlfriend. Ever. I just…you're my demon, okay?" He was staring at her then. "And I get annoyed when those idiots ruin our moments together. They're so rare. I don't want them to be, but they are. I feel like I never have you long enough. I never will either."

"Laxus…"

And then, they were so close there, on the couch, that it was easy for them to kiss, to mold into one another.

"I don't really hate your coat," Mirajane whispered when he pulled back. "Honest. I just-"

"Demon."

"Hmmm?"

"Shhh."

Her eyes met his with a giggle as he grinned as well before getting back down to business. His little demon.

It wasn't a knock at the door that time either, that ruined the moment. Nope. Not even a hint of a knock. Instead, the damn door just flew open out in the hall and a very concerned Freed entered the living room.

At the sight of Mirajane with her dress pulled down some and Laxus more than enjoying her breasts, he could only stare.

"What the hell, Freed?" Laxus growled as, the second she'd heard the door opening, Mira had went to work on getting her dress back in order. "Get out!"

"I-I-"

"Out!"

He just rushed back into the hall then. "Laxus, I truly am sorry, but-"

"I don't hear you leaving!"

"What did you want, Freed?" Mira called as she pulled her dress back up quickly. "Something important, I'm assuming?"

"Rather," he agreed. "It's your brother and Bickslow."

"I don't care about this," Laxus growled. "Anything about it. So get out. Those two numbskulls-"

"Just go talk to him," Mira sighed as she shifted away from him. "Quickly, please."

"Demon-"

"It's about Lisanna too, Laxus," the man called. "And-"

"What?" Mira moved to get up then, but her boyfriend just pushed her back down. "Dragon-"

"I'm on it," he grumbled, heading out of the room. "Freed, come into the kitchen. I gotta check on dinner anyhow."

In there, Laxus took no time in glaring at Freed who was trying his hardest to look contrite.

"If it makes you feel better," he said softly, as not to be overheard by Mirajane, he said, "I did not rather enjoy seeing the two of you-"

"Get," Laxus growled, "to the point, Freed. I have a demon out there, waiting for me."

"Right," he said, though his nerves were still plain as day. "W-Well, it all had to do with Elfman and Bickslow, of course. Bickslow is still very much so intent on proving himself to Elfman who, for the most part, seems to just be having fun."

"What are you telling me?"

"I am telling you," the letter mage went on then, "that they have spent the day doing a rigorous set of challenges to deem who is the manliest."

"And? What? You came to give me a status update? Freed, I don't care. They-"

"The second to last one was to see who could drink the most," the man said, speaking quickly then, as not to be run out by his idol. "And, being that he is significantly smaller, Bickslow did not hold up very well. And, well, the final one was to see who could lift the most weights-"

"Why does he keep coming up with things that he has the disadvantage in?" Laxus grumbled. "I mean, seriously?"

"Well, anyhow, they were both plastered when they decided to-"

There it was. Finally. That horrible knock at the door Laxus had missed before.

At that point, he wasn't even shocked, really. What was his life anymore without that aggravating knock at the door? Honestly?

"Laxus?" That person didn't wait for an invitation either. "It's me, Ever. I need to talk to you about-"

"Elfman and Bickslow. I fucking know," he growled. "What else is new?"

"What's going on?" Mirajane was tired of waiting to find out then and rushed to the hall to speak with Evergreen. Laxus, hearing her head in there, growled before dragging Freed that way. It was better if they got the whole thing finished as a group, he figured.

"Freed." Ever sounded shocked by his appearance. "What are you-"

"I thought it was best if I came and told-"

"But if I'm here and you're here, then who's with Bickslow?"

"Lisanna."

"Right. Because right now that's the best option."

"Why would you leave then if you thought-"

"Uh, because, Freed, Bickslow wasn't my deal. Elfman was. And he's fine now, so-"

"What," Laxus grumbled, "happened?"

"As I said," the letter mage began again, "they were both very drunk when Bickslow decided that, to prove his manhood, they would see who could lift the most. So, of course, Mirajane, they headed right out to your house, where Elfman has his weights and…"

"And what?" she asked. "Did they-"

"The blood will come out of the carpet," Ever was quick to say.

"What?"

"And Lisanna is not that injured," Freed added.

Laxus, still not clear on what they were talking about, just put a hand to his head. Clearly, he would not be getting the night that he wanted any time soon.

"Dragon-"

"Go, Mira. I'll see you later," he sighed as she didn't even wait for a full explanation, just left with Evergreen to go check on…someone. Whichever one. Laxus didn't care. They could all be on their deathbeds and he wouldn't care. Why should he? Clearly they didn't care about him and his need to get laid.

"You wanna stay for dinner?" he grumbled to Freed when it was only the two of them left. "And tell me exactly what's going on?"

It was actually rather simple, as Laxus found out. Apparently, in his drunkenness, Bickslow somehow managed to drop one of the weights onto Elfman's big foot causing the other man to stumble around in pain and, somehow, end up pushing into Lisanna who managed to fall and bust her nose.

"Only they," Laxus grumbled when he and Freed sat down to dinner, "could manage to ruin this. Or do that. Who does that?"

"Elfman's foot is broken."

"Great."

"And Lisanna's nose seems fine. Just a lot of blood."

"Even better."

"And we still have yet to prove if Bickslow is or is not a man."

"And when the hell will we ever?" Stabbing at his food with fury, Laxus said, "I don't get what the big deal is anyhow. So Elfman doesn't think he's a man. Who cares? He's not. And either is Elfman. They're both blundering idiots with foolish girlfriends and a impeccable sense of when the demon's about to blow me. And do they use any of those things for the greater good? Nope. They just ruin my life left and right for their own amusement. Dumbasses. All of them. And you too. Coming in here and sneaking peeks at my demon-"

"That is not at all what I was intending," Freed said, looking away. "I rather like to not think about you and Mira as…"

"Yeah? Well, there's no need to think about it, apparently. You know, since it never happens anymore."

"Surely you're being a tad dramatic."

Surely he was being more than a tad, but hey, he was the damn Thunder God. He could be whatever he wanted to be.

"I just wish that you guys would stop coming over to my place and interrupting…"

That was it. Just like that, it hit him. How to keep the others from bothering him and the demon. And it was just so simple, when he really thought about it.

"Uh, Laxus?" Freed glanced across the table at him. "You did not finish your thought. What-"

"Nothing, Freed." He had to hide the devious smirk that threatened to form. "Nothing at all."

"Lissy-"

"Shut up."

"…I'm sorry-"

"I said to shut up."

"Kid-"

"Bickslow, honestly, just be quiet, alright? You're lucky that we're even letting you stay here tonight."

That was true. Mirajane had not been the least bit happy when she got home to find all of them all bruised up and whatnot. Bickslow was pretty drunk though and, more or less to keep him from getting into anymore trouble, she just let Lisanna make him a bed on the couch to sleep. It was fine, after all, as Elfman was over at Ever's, being nursed (nagged) back to health.

"If you're gonna sleep out here with me," he grumbled, glancing over at where she'd made her own bed on the loveseat (neither was much up for sharing her bed, considering they were fighting), "then you could try and be a bit nicer."

"I could, but I'm not going to."

"Well, would you at least help me think of my next plan of attack?"

"Next plan of- Bickslow, you can't be serious."

"Why can't I?"

"You're still going to bother with Elfman? I mean, honestly? You-"

"I'm not bothering with him, Lissy. I'm proving myself to him."

"Proving what, Bickslow? Huh? That you're crazy? Because that's pretty much all you're proving."

"No. I'm proving that I can be with you."

"To who? Elf? What does he have to do with anything? What? You think that he controls me or something?"

"I just think," he grumbled, "that things will be easier if he respects me. That's all."

"That's all," she mocked, shifting over on the loveseat. His babies were all over there with her, ditching him for the woman because Lisanna was just so perfect. Bleh. "You know, I'm not a little kid. Elfman doesn't control who I date. And he does like you…enough. So why bother with it? You and him don't have to be, like, friends or anything. Why should you?"

Huffing some, he said, "I'm just tryin' to be a good boyfriend over here."

"Well, you're not."

"Am too."

"Are not."

"Am too."

"Are-"

"You both already ruined my date with Laxus," they heard Mirajane call from somewhere else in the house, no doubt her bedroom. "You are not going to keep me up all night. I will kick you out, Bickslow, if the two of you just don't go to bed. You've done enough damage for a day, haven't you?"

"Am not," Lisanna whispered then, glaring over at him. Bickslow just lifted his head to stick his marked tongue out at her.

"Are too."

"Am not."

"You know, kid," he hissed under his breath, "I'm only doing this for you."

"No, you're not. You're doing this for yourself. To feel like a man or like you have a, I don't know, right to me or something. Which is stupid. The only reason we're together is because we both want to be. Not because Elfman or Mirajane let you be with me. I'm not an animal. I wasn't given to you. And I'm not going to be, so-"

"That's not what I'm treatin' this as though. I-"

"Bickslow, I want to be with you. And you want to be with me. That's all that matters." And then, slowly, she gently sat all of his babies that were laying on her stomach off on the loveseat before getting to her feet. Coming over to the couch, she made him sit up before joining him on it. "Isn't it?"

"I guess so, kid." He was more concerned then with moving to press a hand to one of her cheeks. "How's your nose?"

"It's been better."

"I blame your brother."

"I blame you both."

"I figured."

"Are you still drunk?"

"It's been hours," he said with a shrug. "Why?"

"I'd feel kinda bad about taking advantage of you," Lisanna said with a grin as she turned to stare up at him. "In your previous condition."

"Don't ever worry about that, kid," he said with his own smirk, tongue wagging as he spoke. "I'd never turn down- That's it!"

"What's it?"

"I bet I've slept with way more women that your brother." Bickslow snickered then. "That's super manly. He'd have to bow down to me if- Hey, Lissy, where are you-"

"You ruined it." Going back over to the loveseat, she gathered up his babies before turning to walk out of the living room. "Stay out here and be a man, Bickslow."

"Lissy-"

"Goodnight."

He just groaned before moving to lay with his face down on the couch again. So talking about past conquests might be the way to go, but apparently not if he wanted to keep Lisanna happy. Hmm. There had to be something else. Something simple. Something he could hands down beat Elfman in that he would just have to admit that he was one hundred percent a man.

But what?

"Oy," Bickslow mumbled to himself as he shut his eyes. "Maybe I'll go see the boss tomorrow and ask 'im." He was, after all, always full of good ideas. Not that he seemed to be too willing to give them out recently, but hey. Couldn't hurt to try.

Eek. Bickslow and Lisanna kinda took a backseat to Mirajane and Laxus (again), but I can't help it. I mean, I could, I guess, but I don't really want to. The next two chapters should be more group scenes anyhow.