Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.
Rated M for several reasons.
Chapter 27 Warm Fuzzy Bubble
BPOV
Crazy, stupid, love . . . .
I've always known my feelings for him were more than they should have been and once or twice I've even called them love, this is the stupid part. This warm fuzzy feeling that's percolating inside me, this is I think the love part. And all of it together is what makes the crazy.
Oh well . . . .
...
It was very difficult to say goodbye to him at the airport, the only consolation that he seemed to be just as reluctant to part. He was working the following weekend and wanted me to visit but I couldn't, I had obligations of my own, but even though the obligations were my parents it still sucked.
With Cask however there wasn't a lot of time so sit around inspecting my navel, I'm due to make our results statement at the Stock Exchange on Monday and everyone from the Board of Directors to Aro has a vested interest in making sure it goes well. It's not the first time I've done it since becoming CEO but every time I fervently pray it will be the last. It's fucking terrifying . . . .
...
"Fiscal fortitude?" Edward chuckles down the phone.
"Fuck off." I huff without heat. "You try finding something original to say about minding the pennies in a challenging trading environment."
"No, I take my hat off to you. I learnt something. Until this morning I thought fiscal fortitude was when Jasper manned up and hid Ali's credit card. Anyway you were much better than the guy who was on after you, he looked like someone had a gun on him to stop him running away."
"Poor Gerard." I sigh. "He inherited a pile of shite with that CEO role but at least they're paying him well for it."
"How goes Bella's New Year to Do List?"
Yeah, I told him some of my inner musings over the holidays, and I made sure he knew I was blaming him for the fact that I'd been musing in the first place.
"You're nagging me already?" I ask, feigning hurt.
"Hey, you asked me to stop you welching. So, anything to report?"
"I called my Realtor before I left the office and told her I wanted to get shot of the apartment, she didn't seem to think it would take long."
"So you need to look for something else?"
"Yep but I somehow doubt I'm going to find what I want in New York."
"There's that defeatist attitude I know and love."
"Though you cannot see me, know that I am extending my middle finger toward Kentucky as we speak."
"And a fine finger it is too." He laughs. "And don't worry about it, there's plenty of time to find something . . . ."
...
"You what?!"
"I sold it."
"This morning?"
"Yep, sight unseen and for more than the asking price."
"There's a reason you're the best realtor in New York Nancy but I'm not sure I like you right now."
"Come on Bella, it'll be fine, I can hook you up with a nice rental until you find what you're looking for."
"How soon?"
"End of the month would make the buyer very happy."
Fuck.
...
"How is this my fault?"
"Edward, less amused, more supportive."
"Yes ma'am. Ahem. How is this my fault?"
"It isn't but I thought we'd discussed me having a certain grace period to blame you for everything?"
"You're right we did and I'm terribly sorry for doing what you asked me to do and encouraging you to move. How can I help?"
"Would you mind coming apartment hunting with me on Saturday, if that's not a total waste of your New York weekend?"
"It isn't and I'd love to."
"Thanks."
"You're welcome."
...
The following morning I created a new folder for all the emails I started getting.
Subject: Cool
This one has an aquarium in the bathroom, can we see it?
Edward
x
Re: Subject: Not Cool
Re: Re: Subject: Not Cool?
Re: Re: Re: Subject: NOT COOL
Subject: How About this One?
Re: Subject: This One?
Edward, its in Sutton Place and over three million dollars a floor, what the fuck?
B
x
Subject: For Consideration
Hi Bella
Here is a selection of rentals that fits with what we discussed yesterday, have a look through and let me know if I can set up appointments for any of them on Saturday.
Kind Regards
Nancy
Subject: Reviewed
Ms Swan,
Steve Nichols and I have rated each option from one to five for security.
One means I will shoot you myself if you attempt to live there and five means I will crack a smile every second Tuesday, limited to Aprils only.
Doctor Cullen's flight lands at nine on Saturday, I will pick you up at eight.
Demetri
...
"What?" I demand when I catch sight of Demetri's dark eyebrow raised over the rim of his sunglasses.
"Do you need to go to the toilet?" He drawls.
"Rude." I grumble, turning back to the gate to search for Edward's bronze locks in the emerging crowd.
So I'm excited to see him. So what?
Oh god, there he is, what if this is a terrible idea? What if our Holiday bubble doesn't translate to real life . . . .
Then he spots me and grins.
I grin back because 'dating' Edward is turning me into a moron.
And then I'm in his arms, his lips urgent on mine.
Wow . . . .
"I feel like we're being watched." Edward murmurs into my neck when we come up for air some time later.
"We probably are."
"Do we care?"
"Not right now."
"Okay then."
"Ahem." Demetri coughs. "I have your bags Doctor Cullen. Whenever you're ready to let go of my Employer and get out of here that's fine by me."
...
Demetri drops us at Nancy's office and the woman herself shoves a stack of paperwork at me and whisks us away in her Lexus.
The apartments are all pretty much over stylised copies of mine, but that's okay because at the moment I'm only looking to rent a place I can sleep and occasionally eat in. Nevertheless it's not quite the climatic release from suede purgatory I was hoping for. Edward senses my mood plummeting but not knowing why settles for keeping my hand firmly in his as we trail round after the whirlwind that is Nancy.
Eventually we stop for lunch. And yes, if you are spending millions of dollars your Realtor will buy you lunch at ABC Kitchen. Om nom nom . . . .
"I know they're not to your taste Bella but it is only to rent." Nancy consoles as Edward and I dive on the bread.
"I know." I sigh, ripping mine into pellets. "I just have visions of having my own front door, and a yard."
"You can do that in New York."
"Yes, but we both know my options will be limited by security and privacy."
Edward squeezes my hand.
"Its expensive but it's doable." Nancy assures me. "There are some fine houses I can show you when you're ready to buy. Try to imagine yourself with a garden overlooking the East River. Or commuting."
...
Eventually I caved and agreed to rent an apartment in the building next door to mine while I thought about my long term options. It was small but entirely devoid of suede and to ease the move I also agreed to leave some of my more aggressively trendy furniture for the hipsters buying my apartment.
"Come on." Edward urges when Nancy drops us off. "Let's get drunk and stuff our faces."
...
Two hours, a Chinese, and two bottles of wine later we're stretched out on opposite ends of my couch having a foot cuddle while he watches a documentary on tigers.
Edward kept the conversation light over dinner and I cheered up considerably, enjoying the warm buzz of his company, but now I'm brooding.
"At the risk of sounding cheesy you're the wrong end of the couch for hugging."
"Your feet are hugging my feet quite happily."
"Yes, but I'd rather hug all of you."
I manufacture a martyred sigh as I scoot along the couch, wine in hand, to snuggle back against his chest.
"Aaah." He sighs, settling himself around me. "This is the life."
I hum in response. Warm fuzzy tinged brooding is okay, I guess . . . .
"So." He says, kissing the top of my head. "What's really the matter?"
I growl at him, tiger like, but he just laughs and turns the sound on the TV down.
"Talk to me Bella, that's what friends are for."
God he's gotten pushy about the talking thing since our Thanksgiving debacle.
"I love that house in Sutton Place, the one you sent me."
"It was beautiful." He agrees. "And I can see you living there."
"That's the problem. I can't."
"Why not? I know fifteen million is a lot but it has everything you said you wanted, and forgive me, but you can afford it. Some would even say you've earned it."
"I'm not sure about that but that's not the problem."
"Then what is?"
Sip wine. Sigh. Shrug. Fidget. Cave.
"I suppose I wouldn't object, in principle, to paying that kind of money if it was absolutely what I wanted."
"But it isn't?"
Sip wine. Sigh. Fidget. Cave.
"I don't actually want to live in New York. I never did. I just chose to come here because it was the easiest way of coping with everything at the time. This." I wave my wine glass to indicate the apartment and the 'to die for' view. "None of this is really me, I feel like a piece of randomly dropped toast that landed buttered side up and then got eaten."
Behind me Edward blows out a breath.
"You wanted to be a publisher." He murmurs, remembering.
"I did. I was packing for an interview in California when Renee and Phil left for New York."
"There are a lot of publishing houses in New York."
"I applied. But I needed to work and they weren't hiring at the time. Cask came out of the blue, and the opportunity The Old Man gave me? I'd have been a fool to turn it down."
He gives me a little squeeze of encouragement and drops a kiss on the top of my head.
"At first I didn't get a chance to wonder what I was doing because I was so busy not knowing what I was doing, and screwing up what I did do, that I couldn't see straight."
He laughs.
"And then, thanks to a deep well of patience no one knew The Old Man had, I started to get the hang of it. And with his support, and a few other people, I found that I could actually be quite good at some of it. That I enjoyed being good at it.
But when he died and left me his shares . . . .
My first thought was still 'thank fuck, I can stop'."
"Why didn't you?"
"He trusted me with his life's work. The Board said they trusted me with his life's work too. Though, actually, I think they were just hoping Aro could get maximum exposure for the company out of me and they could get me out on a high before I crashed and burned. No one expected me to succeed, not even me."
"Shit. Bella. You never told me any of this."
"I never told anybody any of this. That's not how I roll, remember?"
Sip wine. Shrug.
Edward's long fingers capture my jaw, turning my face to his, my body twisting after it instinctively, if uncomfortably.
God he's beautiful and his eyes can burn to such a luminous green . . . .
"I told you." He says quietly. "I want 'us'. I want to be here for you. I want you to be able to talk to me about anything and I want to be able to tell you anything. I feel like it should be as natural as breathing but . . . ."
"But it isn't, for either of us." I finish when he hesitates.
His thumb caresses my cheek and those eyes burn brighter.
The warm fuzzy feelings coalesce into a flood of heat as his mouth descends to mine . . . .
A/N HAPPY NEW YEAR! Sorry to have been away so long but I hope this chapter finds you well and all fired up for 2015!