"This was a great idea, babe. Feels like 25 years ago. Taking the old truck just makes it that much better. I'm glad we decided not to fly." Rayna smiled from the passenger seat as Deacon drove south on Highway 65 out of Nashville.
2 weeks earlier at home after the Bluebird
"What's all this?" Rayna asked surprised as she entered their bedroom to find beach balls covering the floor, a new bikini lying on the bed, and an envelope on her pillow.
"I think we could use some time alone together at a 5 star resort, no kids, no cancer, no hospital, no Highway 65 business, no tours, just you and me, Ray, for 2 weeks. What do ya say?" Deacon smirked as Rayna took in his Valentine's Day surprise
"Deacon, I don't know what to say. 2 weeks away from everything. We haven't done that in years. Wait…have we ever left for 2 weeks?"
"I don't think so, baby. I just want you all to myself for a while. The past year's been tough, but we made it, and…I just wanna go back in time a little. 25 years ago on that trip to Mexico, before the record deals, before the kids, before the music business turned our lives upside down. Come on. Just say yes?"
"You've obviously put a lot of thought into this. Are you sure, now? What about John?"
"What about him, Ray? So he's somehow my long lost brother. He said he's goin back to Natchez. I don't think he believed me when I said I didn't know about him."
"He did seem kind of upset. Are you sure he's OK?"
"I don't know, Ray. I don't know the guy. I owe him my life, and I told him whatever he needs, consider it done. I guess he was hopin for some big happy family reunion. I can't give him that. My parents weren't exactly a loving, happy couple. I had a major life or death surgery, and my sister hasn't even bothered to call to see if I'm dead or alive! If it was a happy family he was looking to reconnect with he's SOL!" Deacon snapped
"Well, I know, but…he has us now, and…."
"DROP IT! PLEASE, RAYNA?" He cut her off
"Deacon…I don't understand why anything about your past in Natchez upsets you so much? I mean…I know you had a rotten childhood and all, but it's been 30 years since you left home. Why can't you just talk to me about…."
"DAMMIT, RAYNA! I said DROP IT, OK?"
"Deacon….Earth to Deacon! Hellooooooo…..Kinda feelin like I'm alone on this trip, Deke!" Rayna laughed from the passenger seat as Deacon focused on the road ahead, seemingly deep in thought, oblivious to anything she was saying
Rayna sat quietly for several miles as WSM 650 started to fade in the distance along with Nashville.
"You maybe wanna find a new radio station, babe?" she said as white noise filled the truck cab
"DEACON? Seriously..where is your mind? You've barely said a word in over 2 hours." She said finally nudging him into the present, and switching off the radio, unable to take the fading radio station any longer
"Huh…what….oh…sorry I didn't realize the station went out. What do ya want…news, country, rock?" He asked switching the radio back on absent mindedly still not really in the moment
"How about we just talk?" she asked switching the radio off again
"It's an old truck, Rayna. We're gonna wear out the damn knob." He said switching the radio on again
"So much for our time alone! Just you and me…isn't that what you said, Deacon? Now that we're here, alone in this truck for the next 30 hours, you don't even wanna talk?" she sarcastically commented
"You're right, baby. I'm sorry. What would you like to talk about?" he smiled and gently grabbed her left hand planting a kiss on it as she reached for the radio knob again
She took a deep breath. After 25 years together, Deacon still kept his early years locked inside. He barely spoke of his childhood, never of his father, and rarely of his mother and sister.
Since John's declaration that he was in fact Deacon's brother, born 6 months after Deacon left Natchez back in 1985, Deacon had been sullen.
Rayna had broached the subject a couple times in the past 2 weeks, but was always met with resistance. She wasn't entirely sure what John had said to Deacon the night at the Bluebird, but there was a definite decline in Deacon's overall demeanor since that night. Now that she had him captive in the truck with nothing but time, she decided to try again.
"Tell me about your childhood, Deacon. I know you hate talking about it, but since John showed up you've been moody and I can't help but wonder if it's all somehow connected?"
"Rayna…I really don't wanna talk about this. Anything else, baby…just…"
"No, Deacon. What did John say to you at the Bluebird? You've been a damn grouch for 2 weeks. Every time anything about Natchez and your past comes up, you get this way. Every trip we've ever taken to Natchez has resulted in a fight. Every time your sister has ever been around you've gone into this moody, temperamental state. Why can't you just talk to me about your past?"
Silence filled the truck as Deacon contemplated what to say. His childhood wasn't a happy one. His father had been an abusive drunk, often physically hurting him, his sister and mother.
"What do you want to know?" he quietly said after several minutes
"There has to be something good from your childhood. Some memory, a person?"
"My mama use to take me and Bev to the Peabody to see the Marching Mallards once a year, for one night. It was a night away from my dad, to just be a regular family on vacation. I loved those damn ducks."
"Was that so hard? Do I see a smile?" Rayna asked unbuckling herself to snuggle against him as he drove
"It was always short lived, one night, and then back home to reality and HIM! My dad was a horrible person, Ray. When I was really young I used to think if I could just be good at something he was interested in, maybe he'd love me and wanna be part of it. You think he ever came to a baseball game, or school play, or anything for that matter?"
"I'm sorry, babe." Rayna's heart broke for the little boy inside Deacon
"Not bein around was actually the biggest favor he ever did for me. When he was home he was either sleepin off a hangover, or watchin TV. Either way, he wanted it quiet. Make one noise, or disturb him, and there'd be hell to pay in the form of a beating, or cigarette burn, or whatever he could use to inflict pain and control all of us. Those were his better moments. The worst ones were when he was drinking and nothing went right for him. Lost a job, truck broke down, mama didn't have any money to give him for more booze. Somehow it was always my fault."
"Deacon, I…why didn't you ever tell me how bad things were?" Rayna's heart hurt seeing the pain still in his eyes 30 years later. Deacon was clearly still deeply affected by his early years, even now.
"I've spent a lot of years tryin to forget JD Claybourne, Rayna. I hated the man. I hated everything about him. I use to hide under the covers when I heard his old truck in the driveway late at night. I remember praying that bedroom door wouldn't open when I heard his boots comin up the stairs. I was relieved when he passed my room and went to his own, but then I'd feel guilty cause he'd wake mama and she'd get the brunt of his temper if he'd had a bad day."
"Deacon, I'm so sorry."
"I can't count the times I had to lie to doctors and nurses in the ER about bruises and burns, cuts, scrapes. We all did. Mama would beg us on the way to the hospital to just say it was an accident, whatever it was. JD never even went with us. Mama was careful to switch around to different hospitals and doctors so they wouldn't get suspicious. If they did suspect anything and ask questions, we left without treatment."
"He was a miserable man, Ray. He hated life and everything about it. Any attention he ever paid me was abuse. Physical and mental. By the time I was 16, I had to get out of there."
"My dad had left mama that spring. Guess he had a girlfriend or somethin. He was gone all summer. Mama had to work a lot to keep us in clothes and food, but we were a happy family. No walkin on eggshells and tryin to keep JD happy. He was outta our lives, and I was damn happy he was gone. It didn't last. One night that fall, mama came home from the day shift at the diner and said we needed to talk. She said JD had come in and apologized, they'd talked, and he was comin home."
"I was furious with her. Told her if he was comin home, I was leavin. She begged me to stay and give him a chance. Said he was different, he'd changed. Of course he came home while I was packin, and mama was cryin. He told me I wasn't goin anywhere, he owned my ass till I was 18. I pushed him aside and ran down the steps. He caught me before I got out the door. He was about to hit me, but somethin inside me snapped that day, Ray. I closed my eyes and just swung at him as hard as I could. I hit him right square in the nose. There was blood everywhere. He fell face first on the floor in a pool of blood. I ran upstairs, grabbed the bag I packed and my grand daddy's old 38 Martin."
"So, you left that night?" Rayna asked
"Yeah, I was 16. I stole mama's grocery money, about $40. I had my basic clothes, a blanket, and that old guitar. Mama and Bev were hysterical, cryin, yellin to dial 911. I just left. Sirens were blarin somewhere in the distance as I walked away. I just kept walkin. Hitchhiked to Nashville. I played for change on the streets to survive. I worked doin dishes wherever they'd let me at restaurants, and busin tables. An older couple that owned a BBQ joint downtown let me stay in an old apartment above the restaurant that first winter. There wasn't any heat, just what came up from the restaurant below. They felt bad for me and fed me a couple times a day with leftovers from the restaurant, but they were struggling too, and older."
"When did you finally call home to your mom and sister?" Rayna asked
"I tried a couple times, but it hurt to hear mama's voice. I usually just hung up without sayin anything. After a couple years I started talkin to em once a month or so. Mama was pretty mad at me for leavin the way I did, and Bev hated me for leavin her. Still does. Daddy died in a car accident a few years after I left. Mama called and wanted me to come home, for the funeral, and to stay. I refused. She didn't speak to me for a couple years after that."
"It wasn't really till Vince's mama died 8 years later that I went back to Natchez for the first time. You remember? We had been together almost 2 years by then. Almost lost you. Fresh outta rehab that second time. I was doin good. That trip and dealin with my past, mama, and Bev, knocked me off the wagon. You were so pissed by the time I got back to Nashville." Deacon wrapped his arm around Rayna pulling her close
"Oh, I remember. I was determined to end things, but as usual you got to me." She smiled and wrapped her arms around him
"Rest is history, right? I got you back and proposed….hard to believe it's been 23 years, but as hard as those first years were, Ray…I wouldn't change a damn thing. I love you, and I'd do it all again to end up where we are now." He gently panted a kiss on her forehead as she leaned against him
"Where are we going, Deacon?" Rayna asked as they passed a sign to Natchez, MS
"I need a day or two in Natchez, and then I swear, baby, it's off to the resort in Mexico, OK?" he asked
"Deacon, I dunno. You always get so upset just being here. Why do you want to come here and trudge up all those bad memories? We haven't set foot here since your mama died almost 16 years ago. Why now?"
"I need to know about John. Somethin's not right, Ray. It doesn't make sense."
"What doesn't make sense? He said he's your brother. His original birth certificate lists your parents as his parents. So they had another kid after you left, that they gave up for adoption. That explains why your mom never told you about him."
"…but it doesn't, Rayna! That would mean my mama was 3 months pregnant when I left. My dad had been gone 6 months. She hadn't seen him. She worked and came home. She wasn't pregnant when I left."
"Well, you don't know that. She might have seen him, and just knew it would upset you so she didn't tell you."
"Yeah, maybe, but then there's her hysterectomy. When I was 9 er 10 she had a surgery. She'd lost a baby, and had some female issues. I was young. I don't recall all the details, but I specifically remember my mama cryin one night over the losing the baby. My daddy was bein a jerk as usual. He didn't comfort her, or say he was sorry about the baby. He was happy she'd lost it. Said it was one less mouth he had to feed or deal with. He also said he was glad she couldn't have any more ungrateful brats."
"So, you're sure she couldn't have any more kids?"
"Pretty sure, yeah. So, it's not possible that she was pregnant in 1984, and had John in early 1985."
"Plus, my mama wouldn't have given him up for adoption. I listened to her cry herself to sleep for more than a year over the baby she lost. She wouldn't have let him go, Ray. There's no way. She had her faults, but she loved us kids."
"Maybe she knew it was best for him, Deacon? Maybe she didn't want your dad to hurt another child?"
"No, Rayna…there is something not right, and I'm gonna find out what it is. I owe John that much after what he did for me." Deacon said as he pulled into the parking lot of the diner where Beverly worked
"Deacon, his original birth certificate says he was born John Deacon Claybourne, Jr. Your parents both signed it. You saw it and said it looked like their signatures. How do you explain that if he isn't their son? Plus, he looks just like you. He's obviously a sibling or close blood relative. I really don't think this is a good idea." Rayna said as Deacon climbed out of the truck
"He also said he checked with the Natchez hospital trying to get information on his birth parents. The birth certificate is a fake. They have no record of his birth. All he knows is the people who raised him as John Malcolm Reid adopted him when he was 3 months old and the woman he thought was his mama confessed on her death bed that he was adopted. All she said was Deacon Claybourne. She knew about me, maybe a fan…I dunno, but this just feels all wrong." He said as Rayna trailed after him across the parking lot towards the diner door
"Oh, alright…let's just get this over with! I'm sure Beverly's gonna be thrilled to see us walk in!" Rayna snapped sarcastically, clearly unhappy about the detour Deacon had chosen to take, delaying their Mexican holiday. She was ready for the beach and time alone with Deacon. Seeing Beverly was the last thing she wanted to do.
They quietly slipped into a corner booth, trying to keep a low profile. It was almost 5pm. The dinner crowd would be in soon. Neither wanted to deal with fans, and hoped that being in a place like Natchez wouldn't spar any unwanted attention. They managed to slip in quietly, unnoticed.
"What can I start you off with to drink?" Beverly asked without realizing it was Deacon hidden under a ball cap
"Coke would be great."
"Deacon? What the hell are you doin in Natchez?" Beverly asked realizing it was Deacon after hearing his voice, and scowling Rayna's direction
"Well, this is an unpleasant surprise!" Beverly sneered
"Good to see you too, sis. I'm great by the way, not that you bothered to call or hell even acknowledge that I'm still alive." Deacon sniped back hurt in his voice
"After the stunt your wife and my daughter pulled last July inviting me to be a family again, only to try to steal a piece of my liver, I figure I don't owe you a damn thing, Deacon. Why are you here? Need another organ now? Want a lung, kidney?" she quipped
"No, Bev. I'm great. Better than I've felt in years. I just wanna talk."
"About what, Deacon?"
"When do you get outta here? How about dinner with us? Nice place, you decide where, whatever you want, OK?"
"I'm off at 5 if the dinner waitress show up. She hasn't called in yet, but she's usually here by now. Do you want anything while you wait?"
"That coke would be nice, and just water for Ray. How about a slice of Mrs. Hunts apple pie?"
"Coming up." Beverly clearly wasn't happy to see Deacon, and less thrilled to see Rayna
"Sweet as always!" Rayna sarcastically quipped as soon as Beverly was out of earshot
"It's dinner, alright, Ray? Just humor me for tonight? We'll check into a nice hotel after dinner and I'll make it up to you, OK?" he squeezed her hand across the table
A couple hours later they were all seated in a quiet booth at the most expensive steakhouse in town per Beverly's request.
"So where are you staying tonight?" Beverly asked trying to make small talk
"I thought I'd take Ray to the Natchez Grand for the night. We're going to Mexico tomorrow. We just took a little Natchez detour for the night." Deacon explained
"You could stay with me at the house? You haven't been back since mama died." Beverly surprisingly and to Rayna's dismay offered
"Uhh….that's very generous Beverly, but we don't want to put you out. We already just kinda showed up unexpectedly." Rayna tried to smile
"It is just one night, Ray. We could stay …." Rayna shot Deacon a "hell no" look
"I get it! The house Deacon grew up in isn't good enough?" Beverly sneered over her menu at Rayna
"That's not it, Bev. We'd love to stay, OK. Very generous. Thank you. We'll be up and outta your hair bright and early tomorrow." Deacon knew Rayna was pissed at this point, but he was trying to placate Beverly
"So, I have some questions about right after I left home 30 years ago." Deacon cut right to the chase after they'd ordered
"Oh, what about it?" Beverly asked bewildered
"Was mama pregnant when I left?"
"No, she had a hysterectomy. You know that, Deacon. Why on earth would you ask that?"
"So there's no way she was pregnant in 1984 /85?"
"No."
"Do you know who John Malcolm Reid is?"
"Doesn't ring a bell. Should I know who he is?" Beverly asked a little irritated with the question game
"I'm not sure, Bev. Look…he was my liver donor. The thing is…he claims to be our brother. Says he was adopted by the Reid's here in Natchez in the summer of 1985. He was 3 months old. He has a birth certificate signed by mama and daddy. I saw it, looked like their signatures from what I could tell. According to the birth certificate he was born John Deacon Claybourne, Jr."
"I see. How do you know he's not just some crazy fan?" Beverly asked refusing to make eye contact now
"He was a perfect match, Bev. He looks just like me. There's clearly a blood relation. I'm just not sure what that is."
"Leave it alone, Deacon. It was a long time ago."
"So, you do know something?"
"I may, or may not. I just think it's best left buried along with mama and daddy."
"Beverly, you said mama had a hysterectomy, I know his birth certificate was faked. He checked with the Natchez hospital. They didn't issue it. It's not a sealed copy and not a legal document. Who is he and how is he related to us? Why did mom and dad sign a birth certificate for him if he wasn't their baby?"
"Beverly, if you know something…Please tell us? We'd like to help John figure out who his parents are. He gave Deacon his life back. We owe this to him. Please?" Rayna tried to help
"…and what's it to you, Rayna? This doesn't concern you." Beverly snapped
"OK, look, Bev…what's the big deal? If you know who he is, Please tell me?" Deacon begged
"I should have known you wanted something. It's never about me, or being a family. I'm leaving. I shouldn't have come here with you two. All you care about are yourselves, and now some John guy that you never knew existed until now. Maybe if you cared half as much about me, your own sister, rather than some stranger I would have helped you live and donated part of my liver." Beverly descended into tears as she left Deacon and Rayna sitting in the booth
"That went well!" Rayna sarcastically quipped as the food arrived
"Ahhh, hey…I'm sorry, but could we possibly get this all wrapped to go?" Deacon asked the waiter
"Sure, not a problem sir. I'll be right back with some boxes."
"So, now what?" Rayna asked
"Why don't we get you checked into the hotel, and I'll go to the house to talk to her. Maybe she'll be a little more receptive if I'm alone with her."
"Great, so much for our first night alone together on vacation." Rayna was clearly irritated
"What do you want me to do here, Ray? She obviously knows something. It's one damn night. We have the next two weeks together. Can you just give me tonight to sort through this mess and figure out who John is, huh?" Deacon was losing his temper
"Fine, Deacon, great! I knew coming to Natchez was a mistake. Every time we've ever been here, or you've come here, it turns into a huge argument and we end up fighting."
"I'm not fighting. I just think she'll be a little more receptive if I'm alone when I talk to her."
"Whatever…I'll be in the truck."
"Rayna! Hey…." Deacon tried to stop her, but she was upset and clearly wanted to leave
Deacon paid the bill, leaving a generous tip for the waiter. He crossed the parking lot with the 3 to go boxes stacked in his arms.
"What the hell was that about? Jesus…Not one, but two women walk out on me at a restaurant. This is shapin up to be a hell of a night!" he snapped as he started the truck
"I'll be back later. Love you." Deacon said as he dropped Rayna off at the hotel to check in
"You're not even gonna come in?" Rayna asked more irritated by the second
"I'll be back later, alright?"
"What happened to just you and me for two weeks, Deacon? I thought that's what this trip was about? I didn't know you were gonna drag me down here to Natchez and leave me at the hotel.
"I'm not…." Rayna slammed the truck door, cutting him off. She had turned and entered the hotel before he could get out and stop her.
"Can you just take the bags to my wife's room?" Deacon asked the bell hop, slipping him a tip, before climbing back in the driver's seat to go off to find out what Beverly knew about John. He figured Rayna needed some time to cool off. He'd fix things with her later.