'Where are we?" Rayna sleepily asked as Deacon climbed back into the truck, waking her with gentle kisses
The several small bottles of wine she'd polished off from the hotel mini bar the night before were killing her. It had been years since she'd been hungover. Today she remembered why. Bouncing down the highway all day in Deacon's old truck hadn't helped. She'd taken some ibuprofen and fell asleep shortly after leaving the hotel.
Much to Deacon's surprise she'd barely moved in the past 4 hours. He'd actually enjoyed the day of peaceful driving. He was still struggling to process everything Beverly had grudgingly told him the night before. He also knew Rayna wanted some answers. So her slumber through most of the drive gave him some brooding and reflecting time alone with his thoughts as the mile markers passed taking them further away from Natchez, and the past that haunted him even 30 years later.
"Galveston, Texas. I just checked us into a nice resort for the night. You have a spa treatment in an hour. You deserve some pampering, baby. That's what you're gonna get rest of this trip." He whispered and gently planted kisses on her neck.
"You're too good to me, babe. A spa treatment sounds heavenly!" she smiled pulling away from his kisses and embrace as the bell hop and valet arrived for their bags, and the truck
Rayna fumbled with the key card in the hotel door. She finally got a little green light after several failed attempts and annoying red flashes.
"What in the world?" she mumbles as she entered the dark room
"How was the spa?" Deacon asked, smiling behind a table, complete with dinner and candles
"uuhhhmmm, great, just what I needed, babe! What's this?"
"A little romantic dinner. How about a long walk on the beach after we eat?" he gently kissed the nape of her neck as he pushed her chair in
"Keep doing that and we won't be leaving this room tonight." She smiled as she lifted the top from her dinner
"Everything looks amazing, Deacon. I'm starving. You didn't have to do all this."
"I know. I just wanna spoil you a little, OK?"
"Deacon, you…"
"Ray…let me, OK? I'm really sorry about last night. I didn't mean to…" his voice trailed off as he swallowed a lump in his throat
"It's OK, Deacon. I'm not mad. A little worried, but not mad. I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions and thought the worst."
"No, you were right. I was sitting in a bar, takin a drink, for the first time in 15 years. I can't believe I slipped like that after everything, Ray."
"Deacon, calm down. I know you're sorry. You don't have to keep apologizing. You slipped. Obviously whatever Beverly told you was hard to hear. Being in Natchez always upsets you. Do you wanna talk about everything yet?"
"Yeah, I do."
An hour later as the sun set over the beach in Galveston, Rayna and Deacon were walking hand in hand along the water's edge, barefoot, letting the water rush over their feet as the surf drifted in and out.
"So…John's your son?" Rayna finally asked after several minutes of walking in silence
"I guess so. I didn't know. I was 16, Ray. I had some freedom that summer before I left Natchez for the first time. My dad had left my mom and us kids to be with whoever his girlfriend was at the time. My mama was too busy workin the late shift at the diner most nights to worry about what I was doin."
"Who is John's mother?" Rayna asked curious about Deacon's life before her
"Name was Hanna Riley. She was just as screwed up as me, maybe more. Her home life wasn't great. She had two alcoholic, drug addict parents. I thought my life was fucked up. At least I had one parent that cared about me. She really didn't have anybody until me, and I was damaged goods."
"Did you love her?"
"You know you're the only woman I've ever really loved, Ray! Yeah, I cared about her, and maybe at the time I thought I loved her. I didn't have a clue what love was then, or even how to love someone. My parents sure as hell were never role models in the relationship department." He sighed looking forlornly out over the water
"Deacon, you're an amazing husband and father. You know how to love and be loved. You're the most caring, compassionate man I've ever known. Maybe you're parents sucked, but somehow you learned to overcome that to be the man I always knew you could be."
"I learned from you, Ray. Everything about love, relationships, and caring about someone other than myself came from you and our love for each other. It was a hell of a learning curve. You know that. The first years together between us weren't always great. Hell I'm still amazed everyday you stayed and put up with my dumb ass in those first years. There were so many times you shoulda just walked away."
"Deacon, I loved you then, and I love you more now. I knew the first time I saw you smile, heard you laugh, play a note on your guitar. I knew I'd never be able to let you go. You need to give yourself some credit. You're not the same kid that left Natchez all those years ago. Did you ever talk to Hanna again after you left?"
"Not until last night! I tried to call her a couple times, but she didn't want anything to do with me. She was just another person I let down, disappointed, like my mom and Bev. They both felt like I deserted em. I guess Hanna did too. I gave up. I had survival to think about. I was alone on the streets of Nashville."
"So Hanna never tried to contact you? You had no idea she was pregnant?"
"Not a clue, Ray. As far as I know she never tried to get in touch with me personally. I'm not entirely sure she knew I left Natchez. I never said goodbye. I just up and left everything and everyone I knew. All I cared about was myself and gettin the hell away from a miserable life. If I had known she was pregnant I'm not sure I would have made the same choices. I might have stayed for him. I need to talk to him soon, Ray. John needs to know that I didn't walk away from him, that I honestly didn't know about him. I'm not the uncaring monster he thinks his father is. I wanna get to know him, and my granddaughter, Lilly. He deserves that much. He gave me my life back, and now I need to make things right with him. He's my son." Deacon teared up a little thinking about all the years he'd missed with John
"OK, another son, and another granddaughter. We'll work on making them part of the family. We need to talk to the kids about all of this, and explain why he hasn't been their brother all along. I think they'll all be OK with things once we get it all out in the open. I'm confused about the birth certificate though. How did your parents end up signing Johns birth certificate and give him up for adoption, and where's Hanna now? Didn't she want her son?" Rayna asked confused
The night before with Beverly:
"Bev, will you open the damn door? I'm not leavin till I get some answers." Deacon said as he pounded on Beverly's front door
"Leave it alone, Deacon. It was a long time ago. Why do you suddenly care so much about a stranger that showed up outta nowhere?" Beverly answered from behind the closed door
"Because he saved my life, Beverly! He thinks he's our brother, and you obviously know somethin about that. Why the hell can't you just tell me? What's the big goddamn secret?" Deacon asked trying to control his anger
***silence****
"BEVERLY! GODDAMMIT, OPEN THE DOOR!" Deacon was getting angrier as Beverly tried to ignore him
"Just leave, DEACON! You haven't given a damn in over 30 years. Why now?"
"I didn't know I had anything to give a damn about! OPEN THE FUCKIN DOOR, BEV! We need to talk about this." Deacon continued pounding as neighbors porch lights came on
"Oh, right, like your mom and sister weren't anything to give a damn about!" Beverly began sobbing behind the still closed door
"I didn't…shit….." Deacon sat on the porch swing in frustration realizing he'd said the absolute worst thing he could have said to Bev.
Several minutes passed as he contemplated what to do next. The neighbors porch lights began going out again. Silence signaling all must now be OK.
He took a deep breath and tried again.
"Bev…C'mon….look…I'm sorry! I was 16. I left, and maybe that was wrong, but I had to get out. You know how it was here. I couldn't live another day in this house, another day with HIM! I didn't mean to leave you and mama, but…." He trailed off his voice cracking as he leaned against the door frame, 30 years of emotion coming back. Memories in this house that he'd tried to forget. Pain and years of torture at the hands of his father.
He heard the click of the lock. Beverly was standing in the doorway, tears on her cheeks.
"You left me here, Deke. You never came back. I was alone with him! Mama couldn't protect me. Hell she couldn't protect herself from him. You know what he was like. How could you just leave us like that?" she sobbed
"Bev…I'm sorry. I could barely take care of myself. I was a homeless 16 year old kid." His voice softened as he pulled his sister into his arms. A real hug, for the first time in years as they both cried.
"Do you want some coffee or tea?" Bev finally asked pulling away, allowing Deacon into the house
A shiver ran down his spine. He hated the place. He'd grown up here, but it was never a happy home. Every corner held bad memories. Every closet he'd been locked in. The basement steps he'd been pushed down. The shed out back he'd been locked in on a hot Mississippi day, left to die as his father got drunk and forgot he'd left an 8 year old Deacon inside.
He'd only set foot in this house a handful of times since leaving over 30 years earlier. He'd brought Rayna and the kids for holidays to see his mother and Bev, but always refused to spend the night. A few hours was bad enough.
He winced at the sound of the burner lighting on the stove as Beverly started a pot of water boiling for tea. A memory of his father purposely burning his mother's hand in front of the kids who weren't more than 4 or 5 at the time flooded his mind.
"Tell me about John, Please?" Deacon asked as Beverly placed a tea cup in front of him
"You're not gonna drop this, are you?" she sighed
"No, nothing about his story makes sense, Bev. He's obviously a close relative. The match was perfect. He looks just like me. If you won't tell me I'll find out another way, but dammit I'm gonna find out. So PLEASE…tell me what you know about him."
"Why does it matter so much? You have your family. You have MY daughter. You'd have me if any of you wanted me in your lives as anything more than a liver donor. Maybe if Rayna hadn't tricked me into coming to the cabin last year in hopes of stealing my liver I might have agreed to be your donor." Beverly was reverting back to herself, seething with jealousy
"So much for a happy moment there, huh?" I didn't know Rayna and Scarlett lured you to the cabin last July, OK? I wasn't part of it. I woulda rather died before asking you for part of your liver. I didn't want anyone to risk their life for me, including you. I care, Bev! I'm sorry we're not close. I'm sorry you still hate me for leaving 30 years ago. I'm sorry you hate Rayna. I'm sorry we had to take Scarlett away from you, but you couldn't take care of her. I'M SORRY you blame me for every damn thing under the sun."
Beverly seemed deep in thought for several moments before finally speaking.
"The summer after you left a baby showed up on our doorstep. There was no information other than a note that said…"
[ "He's a Claybourne, Please take care of him. I can't."]
"So mom and dad just took a baby they had no idea about and gave him up for adoption?" Deacon asked confused
"No, mama was livid. She assumed he was a product of one of daddy's affairs, but we had no idea who his mama was. Daddy refused to let us even try to go to the police. He said he'd get arrested. Some of the girls he'd been with were underage. He forced mama to take care of the baby. He started calling him junior."
"How the hell long did all this go on? So he is our half brother?" Deacon was trying to wrap his mind around what Beverly was saying
"A few months past. No one ever came back. No missing child reports ever surfaced like mama and I thought they would."
"So they just gave him away? How was that even legal without the mother's consent?" Deacon asked even more confused
"It wasn't legal, Deacon! You know daddy had friends in low places. Junior cried all the time. Daddy couldn't take it. Mama was afraid he'd hurt the baby. The kid was probably in withdrawl. We knew nothing about the mother or where he'd come from. Mama wanted to take him to an orphanage or leave him at a police station, but daddy was paranoid that they'd link him to it. So he got some fake paperwork drawn up, and made mama pretend the baby was hers. They contacted an adoption agency and gave the baby up claiming to be his biological parents. No one questioned it. We never saw the baby again."
"So he most likely was daddy's, and they just gave away our half brother? Why the hell didn't you or mama ever say anything about any of this? Hell JD died when the kid was only a few years old. You never thought maybe somewhere our sibling might wanna know who he was? You didn't care about him at all after having him here for a few months?" Deacon angrily asked
"It was easier to just sweep it under the rug, Deacon! Mama sure as hell didn't want to relive it, or have anything to do with daddy's love child from some affair with a teenage girl. Daddy was dead. This town hated him as it was. Do you really think mama wanted anymore hurt and pain after the son of a bitch was dead?"
"I guess not. OK, mystery solved. That explains all of it. He's a half brother, perfect liver match. The fake birth certificate makes sense now. The Reids must of adopted him from the adoption agency. John will be happy to know that they did nothing wrong. He wasn't sure they legally adopted him. He thought maybe since they wanted a baby so bad they'd done something illegal to get him. I bet they didn't even know anything was wrong."
"Probably not." Agreed Bev
"Thanks for clearing all of that up. You know Johns a decent guy. He lives here in Natchez. Maybe you should call him, get to know him. He is our brother after all." Deacon said getting up, ready to leave
"Where are you going?" Beverly asked
"Back to the hotel. Rayna's waitin. We're kinda on a romantic getaway."
"I thought you were gonna stay here?" Beverly snapped
"Well, I said we would, but that was before you stomped outta the restaurant. We checked into a hotel." Deacon turned again to leave
"Rayna is too good to stay here so you're just gonna run back to the hotel to pamper her prissy ass?" Beverly sneered vehemently
"Bev…we had a good chat, aired some grievances, C'mon don't be like that. I'll call you soon. Maybe we can invite John, all meet up and really work on bein a family again, OK? No strings or livers this time." Deacon smiled trying to lighten the mood
"FINE, Deacon…just run back to Rayna like you always do! It's ALWAYS about what the queen of country wants, isn't it?"
"I'm not doin this tonight, Bev. You hate Rayna. I get that, but we're married. We've been married for 23 years. It aint gonna change. Ray and the kids are my life. If you wanna be part of this family you need to accept that, or at least learn to tolerate Rayna. It's not like you have to see her a lot."
"What if I said Hanna Reilly is John's mother?" Beverly sneered from the porch as Deacon reached for the truck door handle
Deacon stopped dead in his tracks! He hadn't heard that name in over 30 years.
"What? What the hell are you talkin about, Bev? You just said you never knew who his mother was."
"So there's a little more to the story, Deacon!"
Another chill ran up Deacon's spine. Beverly could be as evil as JD and he sensed that evil was near.
"So what are you sayin, Bev? Daddy and Hanna…" the thought sickened Deacon. Hanna had been his first girlfriend, his first kiss, his first time
"Maybe…" Beverly just sneered again, seeing the anguish on Deacon's face
"So you're tellin me my first girlfriend and my dad have a kid together?"
"Not exactly. Come back in." Beverly motioned Deacon to come back
"Beverly…if this is your idea of a sick joke, it's NOT funny!" Deacon reluctantly followed Beverly back into the house. He felt physically ill thinking of JD with Hanna as he slumped onto the couch
"Why the hell do you still have pictures of him up?" Deacon snapped seeing an old picture of his parents on the mantle
"He was our father, Deacon. It was mama's picture. I just never took it down."
"He was never a father to either of us. You know that!"
"Let just get this over with. What happened with daddy and Hanna?"
"Oh have I peeked your interest? Another of your little girlfriends you care so much about, even above your own family?" Beverly smiled knowing she had Deacon's attention now
"Enough with the games and snide comments, Bev. What is it you wanna tell me about Hanna?"
"Do you still care about her? I think she works at the Watering Hole as a waitress, maybe a little more on the side if you're still interested?' Beverly smirked
"Alright, that's enough! I'm leavin. You're just makin shit up now." Deacon got up to leave again
"He's your son, Deacon! John is your son."
"How…what?" Deacon could only stutter in disbelief as the story changed. He wasn't sure what to believe. Was this the truth, or just another of Beverly ploys for attention?
"You slept with her 30 years ago, didn't you?"
"What the hell's that have to do with JD?"
"She came to the house late one night, shortly after you left. She was looking for you. I was in bed. Mama was working the late shift at the diner. Daddy was drunk in front of the TV. He let her in, didn't bother to tell her you'd flown the coop and weren't around anymore. They had a few drinks. I was eaves dropping. Daddy was so drunk even before she showed up I don't think he remembered much about that night. They slept together that night, but I heard her tell him she was already pregnant. That's why she came to the house, to tell you it was yours."
"So you've known for 30 years that Hanna was pregnant with my baby when I left Natchez and you never thought to maybe tell me?" Deacon was fuming now
"You left, Deacon. You never looked back! A few months later when that baby showed up on the porch I knew it was Hanna's, but daddy just assumed it was his, and I suppose it was possible there were others. It could have very well been any of the young women he messed around with. I wasn't ever 100% sure until tonight, when you asked about a baby."
Deacon took a deep breath, struggling to process the information Beverly was sharing 30 years too late.
"That it? You wanna throw anymore dark family secrets on the fire? C'mon…you're on a roll, Bev. Why don't you just stoke the embers a little more while they're hot." Deacon was pissed
"Well, I guess now you know how it feels to have a child taken from you. How do you think I felt when you and RAYNA took Scarlett away from me?" Beverly suddenly felt vindicated and smirked
"Jesus, Beverly that was years later! You asked me to take Scarlett, said you couldn't take care of her. I seem to recall you begging me to take her in fact. We just kept her after we learned you abused her, so DON'T YOU DARE compare this to Scarlett. You knew I had a son, and never bothered to tell me. Then you stood back and watched as Mama and daddy passed him off as theirs and gave him up for adoption. Jesus, I thought this family was fucked up before! I don't even have a goddamn clue how to process this, or begin to deal with…" Deacon was mad as hell at this point. He smashed the picture of his parents in the fireplace, glass shattering everywhere as the picture hit the back of the hearth
He left in a blind rage, not sure how he ended up sitting in the Watering Hole parking lot. He sat for what seemed like forever, truck running, willing himself to go back to the hotel and Rayna, but eventually his demons won the battle. He was on a bar stool with a shot in front of him before he realized it. She hadn't recognized him under his ball cap.
He curiously watched Hanna serve a few other customers, before downing the shot. He removed his hat, laying it on the bar.
"Ready for another?" the dark haired bartender asked before finally looking into his eyes. She nearly dropped his empty shot glass.
"No, I'm good. Glass of water would be great, thanks." He replied, searching her face for an expression
"Deacon Claybourne! What's a big country star doing in this dump?" she asked trying to make small talk, unsure of what to say, and a little star struck
"Came to see you, actually. Been a while, about 30 years or so, huh?"
"What do you want with me? You never even bothered to say goodbye when you ran off to Nashville all those years ago. You've made a hell of a life for yourself, married Rayan Jaymes, big music career, worth millions. What could you possibly want with an old high school girlfriend?" she asked trying to keep the bitterness from her voice
"I did try to call a couple times. If memory serves me correctly you wouldn't take my calls, and obviously ignored my messages."
"Yeah, the calls and messages that started 6 months AFTER you left? Those calls and messages?" Hanna sniped bitterly
"You're right. I was a jerk. I up and left without saying goodbye. I was a 16 year old high school kid with some serious problems. I had to leave, get away from my home life. I never meant to hurt you." Deacon looked away unable to face Hanna. She had a sadness even now that bothered him.
"Why are you here, Deacon? Part of a 12 step program? I heard you were an alcoholic just like your old man. Is this the fix things with people you've wronged portion?"
"No, Hanna…to be honest that shot was the first I've had in 15 years. Tasted awfully damn good too. I'd love nothing more than to down about a dozen more, especially after the day I've had."
"Number 2's on the house." She placed another shot on the bar in front of Deacon. He stared at the dark liquid before finally pushing it away.
"Why don't we cut right to the chase. Why didn't you take my calls, and tell me you were pregnant with my baby?" he asked pointedly
"You left, Deacon! Until your music career started to take off, and I started seeing the news about you everywhere, I had no idea where you were. By then it had been years. I had given the baby away. I figured if I came out of the woodwork with a story about a baby you'd just assume I wanted money."
"You'd given the baby away? Hell, you left him on my parents door step without any information! You KNEW how fucked up my home life was. I had shared so much with you that summer before I left. How the hell could you leave an innocent baby there with my dad?"
"I figured your mom would protect him. She was always so sweet to me. I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE, DEACON! MY HOME LIFE WAS WORSE THAN YOURS! I COULDN'T TAKE CARE OF HIM ALONE! I DIDN'T HAVE ANYONE. YOU WERE ALL I HAD THAT SUMMER! I LOVED YOU! HOW COULD YOU JUST LEAVE LIKE THAT?" Hanna was yelling now. People at the bar were staring.
"OK, Look, relax! I'm sorry. It must have been hard on you bein alone and all. You should have told me. I didn't have shit then, but I cared, DAMMIT! He slipped his ball cap back on low over his face hoping no one had recognized him. The last thing he needed was a big tabloid scandal about a long lost lover and illegitimate child.
"A little late for sorry now, Deke!" she hissed
"Let me help you, make it up to you. What do you need, or want? Workin here can't be all that great. Here, this should help. Take some classes, hell, take a vacation, whatever you want. You've had a tough life. You deserve a little enjoyment." He'd written her a check for $100,000 and slid it across the bar
"That's a hell of a tip for 2 shots!" she quipped sliding the check back to Deacon
"…but I don't want your money. If I wanted money I could have kept the baby and come after you years ago."
"What about John? I'm sure he'd like to know who his mother is. Can I tell him where to find you?" Deacon asked
"I'd really rather you didn't. That's a part of my life I just want to forget."
"Did you ever marry, or have any other kids?" Deacon softly asked
"Married twice. Divorced twice. Both were drunks just like my old man, your old man, and you! Never did learn to pick a decent man."
"I'm sorry, Hanna. What about kids?"
"Three, one girl, two boys. They're all grown now. They don't want much to do with me these days. I wasn't the best mother. I have a grandson, by my daughter. He's a few months old, but I've only seen pictures." She sadly replied
"Kids and grandkids are great. I have 2 girls and a boy. 2 grandsons and a granddaughter. Clay's a little over a year, and Maddie, my daughter had twins in December boy and a girl."
"Well, hey, great for you and your famous wife, Deke, but I really need to close up. I'm glad you're life turned out so great, but forgive me if I really don't give a damn!"
"OK, I'll leave you alone. Please think about at least talkin to John? None of this crap was his fault. I'm planning to get to know him, try to make up for 30 years of not bein there. I'll respect your wishes and not tell him about you. Here's my business card with all my contact information if you change your mind, and I'd like you to keep the check. Goodbye Hanna." Deacon left his card and the check on the bar as he made his way to the door
"So that's the whole sordid story about John?" Rayna asked as they continued to walk hand in hand along the beach in the dark
"Yeah, are you upset that I went to see Hanna?" Deacon asked
"No, you needed to talk, see where she was with things now. I can't believe she doesn't even want to see him. I can't fathom not knowing my children which includes John now." Rayna squeezed Deacon's hand a little tighter
"Thanks, Ray. I think he needs us. Have I told you how amazing you are, baby?" Deacon stopped, faced Rayna and leaned in for a deep kiss with the moon reflecting off the water
"He's more than my stepson, Deacon. He gave you back to me. Without John you wouldn't be here now. I owe him everything."
"We'll tell the kids when we get home next week about John, and then if you're OK with it? I'd like to take a solo trip back to Natchez to tell John everything myself. I think he needs to hear it all from me."