Thank you for everyone's amazing reviews, and the adds, of course. I hug you all. No more threats. I'm just going to do it now.

Thanks to Stratan for being the best beta in the world, and thanks to stephk0525 and claireoth for prereading this chapter. I am so nervous about it because um... Well, you'll see. They helped kick my anxious ass into shape.

Chapter 13

Bella

I studied my reflection in the massive mirror that hung over the sink in Edward's bathroom. The Diet Coke was rinsed out of my hair. The soaked shirt I'd been wearing now lying over the edge of his tub. I still looked the same, albeit tired and a little weathered from all the emotions I had running through me lately. I felt so much differently, though. Like I'd changed in the short time I'd been in Forks, and I knew it had something to do with Edward. He was making me… I didn't know what he was molding me into. I just knew that I liked the girl I had started to become; that I felt whole again.

And like everything, it seemed, it scared me. I had so much going through my mind, so much I wanted to say, but I couldn't seem to figure out how, exactly, to say it. Maybe it was fear of the unknown that kept the words bottled up inside. Fear of what people would think of me after they found out. Fear of Edward's reaction. Because even with all that I knew about him, I wasn't entirely sure how he'd react. He was so volatile. I had no doubt that he meant what he said: that he couldn't be without me. But that was before Maggie. Before I shoved his past down his throat.

With a deep breath, I turned and went back out into his bedroom, expecting Edward to be pacing, chewing on the inside of his cheek, running his hands through his hair awkwardly or something else that was equally comforting to me. To my surprise, he was nowhere to be found. The door had been left open, and I briefly wondered if after our kiss in the kitchen, he'd finally had all he could take and fled, but as I moved down the hall and toward the stairs, I heard music filter through the air. He was doing the exact opposite of running away.

He was letting me see another piece of himself.

Tears sprung to my eyes, and I took a steadying breath as I climbed down the steps, willing for them to stop before I walked into that room. But when I finally found my way through the house and saw him at the large, black baby grand piano…

They came faster.

His hands moved with impossible quickness. His long fingers splayed out over the keys, the stains from his work in the garage contrasting against the perfect ivory. His body swayed as he got lost in the music he created. Clips of the home videos the Carrs had shown me of Maggie playing at their home, at recitals and concerts, flickered in my mind. Until now, I hadn't seen anything other than the color of their eyes that definitively showed they were related. And it turned out that all I needed was to get Edward by the piano. Because they were identical when it came to this one thing.

It broke my heart to know they'd never get to enjoy it together.

The music stopped, and Edward glanced over at me nervously.

I cleared my throat and tried for a smile. "That was pretty. I've never heard it before."

"It's um… That's because I wrote it."

I bit down on my bottom lip hard to distract myself from the need to cry some more. Maggie composed too.

"Bella?"

I went to speak, but the words caught in my throat. All I could think was that if Edward had been given the same opportunities Maggie had been given, he might have chosen a different path. He might not have been interested in becoming a cardiothoracic surgeon, because being shot in that alley in Chicago wouldn't have been a part of his past. He might have let his passion guide him, just like Maggie had. He might've won awards and gotten the prestige—the thrill—Maggie did by performing for so many different people.

But then he'd never be the man standing in front of me, either.

"Play something else," I whispered, crossing the room to sit next to him.

He stared at me for a while, unmoving, before finally letting his hands drift into one of the sweetest melodies I'd ever heard. I put my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes, realizing that this was it. I couldn't hold it inside anymore. To do so would not only hurt myself but him as well. This was my opportunity, and if I let it slip away...

Guilt would eat me alive, and then any possibility—however slim—of being with Edward would be destroyed right along with me. I was so attached to this prickly, stubborn, socially awkward, and beautiful man now.

And if I lost him because of this...

I didn't move for a while. I was well aware that the song had ended long ago and that Edward was fidgeting nervously beside me. But I had to gather my strength and steel myself against the harsh words that were bound to come when I finally said...

"Maggie played like this."

His arm tensed beneath my forehead, and so I reluctantly moved away to gauge his reaction.

"How do you know that?" he asked lowly. The look he gave me was wary.

"That's the thing..." My voice wavered, so I took a deep breath to compose myself. I hadn't even uttered the words yet, and already, I was having a hard time dealing with the thought of him going back on every word he said to me.

Because how could he still want to be with the liar, the girl who harbored a piece of his past inside her?

"What thing?" he demanded, scooting further away from me.

"I not only found out Maggie's name, but I... I did research on her. Met her parents."

"You what?" he shouted incredulously. "Why?"

I shrugged because I honestly had no answer for him. I'd simply been driven to. "The Carrs adopted her when she was little. Five. She had blonde hair, green eyes, perfect, creamy skin..."

"Why are you telling me this?"

When I didn't answer, he got mad.

"Bella," he snapped. "What the hell is with you?"

"I... Take me home?"

He let out a sharp breath and looked at the medical journal sitting off to the side. "I need to get that over to Carlisle."

"I know. I need to get back to Charlie. But I-" God, I couldn't form a sentence anymore. "There's something I want you to see."

More skepticism. Not that I could blame him. I was acting strange, even by my standards. I'd always been upfront with him, and now…

Edward's driving was worse when he was agitated, but I was only barely able to register the way he took a turn too sharply or watch the scenery blur as he sped down the narrow road to Charlie's. I was too busy trying to stop my thoughts from jumbling together and come up with a plan. This was not how I'd pictured this happening. I wanted to make copies of everything for him to keep, spend more time working on that letter I'd come home and started after our night on the baseball field together. I still hadn't found the time to learn more about Elizabeth and the terms of Maggie's adoption… how it was that Edward didn't know she existed when a six year old should be more than aware of his sister's sudden disappearance from his life, or why they separated the two of them in the first place.

But I'd have to make do without it.

Edward put the car in park and turned to face me, his face contorted worriedly. "You're… you're fucking freaking me out here, Bella," he said harshly.

I sighed. I was botching this completely. "I know I'm acting weird. And I'm sorry. I need to show you something, though. I promise you'll understand when you see it."

Among other things.

"Okay," he said slowly.

"It's inside."

I silently got out of the car, not bothering to look back at Edward as I made my way to the front door. I was surprisingly able to unlock the door on the first try despite my nerves, and I quickly made my way to my room to grab the file on Maggie, my journal, and all the photos and newspaper clippings I had stashed away, and then bring them back out to the front stoop where Edward was sitting… waiting.

He took in everything I held in my hands with an odd look.

"I- We need to talk," I croaked. "About everything."

He abruptly stood up and took a few steps further away from me. "I see," he said coldly.

"No," I laughed, on the verge of hysteria, "you don't. Nothing you're thinking can even come close to the reality."

"Jesus fucking Christ, just explain it then," he replied, glaring at me.

I thrust the information at him, not knowing what else to do. "I need you to take this and read it. All of it. Everything you need to know is there."

He reluctantly took it out of my hand, gazing at me anxiously. "Why?"

Jump.

"Because… because Maggie's your sister."

He stiffened, narrowed his eyes. "What the fuck did you just say to me?"

"She's…" I hiccupped, and a tear escaped my eye. "She's your… your sister."

Another step back. "That shit's not fucking funny, Bella," he snarled.

"Do I look like I'm laughing?"

One hand flew up to his hair, sending it all over the place. "What the fuck?" he screamed. The sound bounced off the house, startling me. "You… You're telling me your donor is my sister?"

I could only nod.

"That's impossible. I don't have a fucking sister."

"That's not what her adoption paperwork says," I mumbled, wiping at my eyes.

His face went ashen. "What?" he breathed.

"Edward and Elizabeth Masen were listed as her biological parents."

He let out a strangled sound. I didn't even try to understand the emotion behind it, because there was no way I could ever imagine processing this kind of information if I were him. Not with his past.

"I'm sorry," I cried. "I didn't… I couldn't…"

"How long have you known?" he asked, his jaw clenched tightly, his fingers nearly digging into the thick brown leather of the journal.

I didn't answer immediately.

I was such a coward.

"Bella, I swear to fucking God if you don't tell me-"

"I knew she had a brother here. Charlie had to dig to get your name since you were also adopted. I-"

"HOW LONG?" he roared.

I closed my eyes, unable to see his hatred of me when I said the words. "Since the day I got here."

Silence. And I still couldn't look at him.

"I should have known," he said lowly.

My eyes snapped open; the pain in his voice was almost too much for me to stand.

"I should have known you were too good to be true," he continued. "I didn't deserve any of this. I didn't-"

He choked on his words, and I instinctively took a step forward.

"Don't fucking come near me, Bella," he seethed, retreating some more.

I sobbed once. "Edward-"

He held up his hand and shook his head. "No," he said fiercely.

He spun around and stomped off toward the car, miraculously still holding on to all the information I'd given him.

And I blindly followed.

"Edward," I tried again. "Wait."

But he didn't acknowledge me.

I halfway expected to see him throw everything I'd given him on the ground as he raced to his car, but instead, he merely opened the driver's side door, got in then slammed it so hard behind him that the entire car shook from the force of it. Or maybe it was me. I stood there trembling, unable to tear my eyes away from its darkened windows with the hope that maybe Edward would take a second to thumb through it all, and then get out and talk to me, let me explain. Only that didn't happen at all. The sound of an engine broke me free from all that... hope, and had me racing over to the passenger's side.

I flung the door open and bent down to see him.

The look on his face tore me apart.

"Shut the goddamned door," he growled.

I opened my mouth to say something, anything at all. Only no sound came out.

"I'm not fucking kidding, Bella. Shut. The. Goddamned. Door." Pause. "Now."

I somehow got enough wits about me to obey and shut the door, knowing that he needed time. I needed time. He didn't even bother letting the door close all the way before he had wrenched the car in gear and was backing out of the drive way. The tires squealed loudly as he peeled out on the street, speeding away from me as fast as the engine allowed. My knees buckled as soon as he was out of sight, and I let myself collapse onto the wet ground, because I was so…

Numb.

Stupid.

Naive...

Me.

I wasn't sure how long I sat there on the grass before I left to see Charlie at the hospital. I searched the parking lot for Edward's car, but I didn't see it. Not that I thought I would. Just hoping to. I couldn't seem to let that hope go, regardless of his reaction earlier.

Which was the reason I was clinging to my phone like a lifeline.

It took Charlie all of two seconds to realize something was wrong with me. He seemed almost ready to jump out of bed, but thankfully, he thought better of it and straightened up instead.

"What happened?" he asked, his eyes searching me for some kind of reassurance, I was sure.

"Nothing. It's nothing," I responded. "How are you feeling?"

He jerked a shoulder up. "Tired."

I didn't need to say anything back to that. He knew I understood completely. "So what do you want to do when you get out?"

"Eat something other than hospital food," he answered.

"As long as it's not diner food," I countered.

"Bella," he groaned unhappily.

"Dad, I can't... No. It's not happening."

He took in the pleading way I stared at him and nodded once.

"You scared me," I admitted quietly. It was the first time I'd said it in the days that had passed. "If Edward hadn't been there..."

"You would have called the ambulance yourself," he said roughly.

"So people keep telling me," I muttered. But I still didn't believe it.

"Where is Edward, anyway? I haven't seen him in a while."

"Around," I answered petulantly. I wasn't sure I was ready to talk about what had just happened yet.

"Isabella Marie." My eyes snapped up to his in shock; he never used my full name. "I'm going to ask you the same thing I asked him the other night."

I practically gulped. "Which is?"

"What are you doing with him?"

The normal curiosity I would have had about Edward's answer was immensely overshadowed by my panic. I wasn't doing anything with him. Not anymore. "I don't... I'm not-"

Another annoyed groan stopped any more words I might have been trying to say. "Damn it, Bella. The kid cares for you. And he doesn't know what you have inside you."

I couldn't look at him now. "Uh-"

He mistook my hesitance for something else, and plowed on.

"I've always been so proud of you," he murmured thoughtfully. "You've handled everything that's been thrown at you with such... maturity. Until now. Now... Frankly, I'm a little disappointed in you.

I swallowed around the sudden lump in my throat. Charlie had been disappointed in me. Knowing that was so much worse than finding out what anyone else would think of the situation. I realized he was the only person in Forks whose opinion truly mattered to me. With everyone else, I'd deal. Charlie, though…

"I thought when you first started this, it would be what you needed to move on and accept what you'd been given. Maybe finally get a chance to live your life. You were so hell-bent on learning everything about Maggie and her family, so it's not like I would have been able to change your mind or anything. We're alike that way, you know."

"I know," I whispered.

"And then when you found out that her brother lived here… Well, I thought it would be a way to give you what you needed while getting to see you every single morning before you went off to college. But now I… I see what it's doing to you. And I'm trying to let you do it your way, because I know you're capable of getting through this without me. You've never needed me to baby you.

"But you're miserable. You've been miserable since you started getting closer to Edward. And as your parent, all I want for you is to be happy."

"Why are you giving me this speech now, Dad? Why not before I had any kind of relationship with Edward?"

"Because I'm trying here," he said gruffly. "You of all people should understand why."

It seemed like everyone was saying things like that to me these days.

But he was right. I did. There was something about near death experiences that made you want to right all your wrongs. It was partially the reason why I'd entertained the idea of finding out who my donor was in the first place. Maybe if Maggie had any wrongs, I could help set them right. If only I'd realized then that the only wrong in Maggie's life was that she didn't know of Edward's existence.

I might've bailed before I had a chance to get wrapped up in the task.

Too late now.

"Anyway, as I was saying, falling in love with your donor's brother is only going to end up in disaster."

I scoffed, "I don't love him."

I was met with a long, hard look of disbelief.

"I don't even know him," I continued. "Not really."

"Bella, you think not knowing something trivial like what city someone was born in or how they butter their toast in the morning makes any difference at all? You love the person for what those facts and details about their life made them become. Not the facts themselves."

I opened my mouth a few times, and then finally snapped it closed. Charlie was right. This was the reason why I felt so different now, why I felt whole when before, I'd been missing... something. That something was Edward. I just hadn't known it yet.

So I shook my head mutely, afraid that if I said anything at all, I'd confess the truth.

I was in love with Edward Cullen. I loved his laugh, his smile, his anger, the pieces of his story he'd let me see... I loved how he made me feel, how lost I was when he kissed me, and how he stole my breath with just a glance. He'd helped my father without even trying, simply because it was a part of who he is and because I was somehow important to him.

I was insanely lucky to have been important to him, even if it ended up being only for that brief amount of time.

"It doesn't matter now," I said softly, looking down at my hands at my lap.

"What? Why not?"

"Because I just told him."

"About Maggie?"

I nodded, my chin trembling with the urge to cry. No more tears, though, I promised myself. I could get through this. Just like I got through everything.

He didn't say anything for a while, and I thought it was probably because there was nothing for him to say.

Then he surprised me and laughed.

"What is so funny?" I asked angrily. I went to get up off the bed, but was pulled back down by my father's hand.

"You let me go into this huge speech about telling him, when you already did. It's just…" He laughed more and shook his head.

"Yeah, well, you sounded like you'd practiced it a lot. Figured I might as well let you get it out," I muttered.

"You're right," he chuckled. "I rehearsed it all day long."

"Could you stop laughing now?" I glowered at him, causing him to smartly school his expression.

"Okay, okay," he relented. "What happened to make you tell him now?"

"He was playing the piano…" I saw the knowing look flicker across Charlie's face and nodded again. "So I made him take me home and gave him everything I had on Maggie. It was ridiculous, really. But how are you supposed to say something like that?"

"How'd he take it?"

I shook my head in response.

He sighed. "I'm sorry, baby."

With that one term of endearment, I couldn't take trying to be strong anymore. I broke down and sobbed, almost flinging myself at my poor, unsuspecting father.

And he simply let me. I'd never been more thankful for him than I was at that very moment.

Eventually, I drew in a shuddering breath and tried to wipe some of the snot off of my face. I was sure I looked pathetic. "What did I do?"

"The best you could," he replied. "Did he take everything you gave him?"

"Yeah," I sniffled. "I was shocked. I figured with as mad as he was he'd have thrown it in a puddle or something."

Then it crossed my mind that maybe he was so angry he didn't realize he still had it all in his hand.

My stomach dropped. I didn't want to lose all of that too.

Turns out, I wasn't a coward at all. I was a selfish bitch.

"Give him time. He… just needs to process it."

I nodded and buried my face against his chest wanting so badly to believe him.

But I couldn't.

Something deep in my gut told me that it could never be that easy.

xx

Hours drifted by.

I sat in that hospital room with Charlie, my eyes roaming to the door instead of staying focused on the TV in front of us. I shifted and looked out the window, thinking that maybe I'd see his Volvo pull into the lot somewhere. I even got my hopes up a few times as a glimpse of silver caught my eyes. But the cars were always wrong. Wrong make. Wrong model. Wrong driver.

I glanced down at my phone again.

Nothing.

Still.

But I couldn't let go of it. Not yet. I'd held onto my phone all day long.

Just in case.

Hoped for some kind of… acknowledgment from Edward, praying that I still had a chance.

"Bella?"

I stopped bouncing long enough to look at Charlie. "Hmm?"

"It's only been a few hours. Give the kid a break."

"But I-"

"Hours," he repeated. "Go home. Get some sleep."

I tried to argue again.

He cut me off before I could.

"I'll see you in the morning."

xx

I was startled awake by the sound of my window creaking open. I shot up into a sitting position and blinked, pulling in a shaky breath at the figure coming through it. At first, I wondered how I'd managed to fall asleep at all. It seemed like once I lied down, my anxiousness grew. I tossed, tried to ignore the flutter in my stomach and the burn in my chest. I tried to shut off my brain, but I just kept imagining different scenarios, over and over, loop after loop.

And then I snapped out of it.

"Hey," I whispered, not knowing what else to say.

I was met with silence.

I reached over and flipped on the light, fighting tears as soon as I saw Edward's face. So much rage and sadness was in his eyes, but his face was the perfect mask of indifference I'd seen when I first arrived.

The message was clear.

He'd shut me out entirely.

I'd screwed up any chance I might've had with him.

And now he wanted nothing to do with me.

I glanced down at my hands, watching my fingers twist nervously. I couldn't help myself. To look at him would make me truly break down and cry.

I'd made such a mess of everything.

"You're quitting your job," he gritted out. "Effective immediately."

"What? No, I can't quit my job!" I argued. "I need the money. Especially now, after…"

He glanced away. "Tell someone who gives a fuck. I don't want you around me or my family. So you're not coming back."

As much as his words hurt, it didn't escape me that he couldn't look at me when he said it, and I knew him too well now to fall for it.

"Look me in the eye and tell me you don't give a fuck," I returned.

His furious eyes found mine at once. "I don't give a fuck," he said, enunciating every word to get his point across.

"Liar."

"Takes one to know one, doesn't it?" he sneered.

"I never lied to you," I replied. "Ever. And you know it."

"Oh, so then I was just some game to you. Fuck with the donor's pathetic brother to get your kicks?"

"No, Edward… Everything I have ever said to you… Every stupid smile—kiss—was because I wanted it. I want you. I'll always want you."

"Yeah, well, I don't want you."

I couldn't stop the tears with that.

"Why?" I asked. "Because I couldn't figure out how to tell you? Because I didn't want," I gestured between us, "this to happen? Because I knew how you'd react and I was terrified of it? Did you even bother reading anything I gave you?"

"No. I'm not interested in anything you give me, Bella," he seethed. And then he did something unexpected.

He sat down at the foot of my bed.

"You represent everything I hate about myself. You… To look at you is going to-" He stopped, and I almost thought I heard him let out a sob. "Break me."

"So would you rather I have died?" I asked flatly. "Then you wouldn't have to literally come face to face with your past that way, right?"

His entire body whipped around toward me, his eyes glassy. "No," he breathed.

"Then I don't understand," I cried. "It's not just me who wanted this."

"I can't fucking do it. You've dragged every fucking memory I have of that place out and I feel like… like I'm drowning in it. I don't want… I can't…"

He shook his head and abruptly stood.

"You didn't think about what this was like for me once today, did you?" I asked stupidly, immediately regretting how horrible it sounded the second it came out of my mouth.

"The fuck?" he shouted. "Think about you, the girl who lied to me all this time?"

"We already went over this," I ground out. "I did not lie to you."

"Fine, whatever. You didn't lie." He paused as his thoughts took another turn. "I told you shit, Bella. I fucking- God damn it, and now you tell me I should have thought about you on the day the bottom fell out on me? My... mother turned out to be even more of a-"

He didn't finish. Instead, he grabbed a little, white figurine that had sat on my nightstand collecting dust since I was a child and launched it at the wall with a feral sound. It shattered against the wall, dust and pieces sprinkling the carpet as it fell apart. I was almost sure it had been something I'd been given by my grandmother. But staring over at it, I couldn't seem to find the will to care that it was gone.

"I know you think I'm the lowest form of shit right now, Edward," I whispered.

"You've got that fucking right," he growled.

I didn't let his interruption deter me. "But do you have any idea how hard this has been for me? That maybe, just maybe, I didn't want any of this? You think I wanted to have this fucking heart condition and then get a transplant? That I wanted to meet you…? To… to…"

"To what, Bella?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.

"To fall in love with you, damn it."

Oh, shit.

Something primal flashed in his eyes with my words, and before I knew it, he was in my face, looming over me. His breathing was ragged; his eyes bore into mine, seeking truth. His fist pounded on the headboard, shaking the entire bed, and I let out a little squeak of fear at the flash of movement, knowing I was trapped… that I'd caused his temper to finally flare out of control.

But I knew he wouldn't hurt me, no matter how angry he was at that second.

"Fuck," he shouted before dropping his head with a groan. He shuddered and closed his eyes, his hands gripping the headboard so tightly it made a groaning sound, and I could tell he was working to calm himself and think about what I'd just admitted.

So I let him. At this point, there was only his rejection standing in the way. And I was fairly sure I was going to get that no matter what I said.

"You can't-" he eventually said. "I'm such... shit."

"I do," I whispered. I took a chance and shifted beneath him to put my hands on his chest, over his pounding heart. He flinched hard, but never moved, causing me to realize that whatever was going on with him was bigger than Maggie, me. Something else kept holding him back.

"I do," I repeated. "Because you're not shit. You're a fucking hypocrite."

"How the fuck am I a hypocrite, Bella?" he asked sharply, pulling in a heavy breath.

"Because you can't give me all of yourself, when I've risked losing you to give you the only thing I've ever held back: this stupid fucking muscle in my chest. I've told you all my secrets, yet you still hold something inside. Why?"

We sat there like that, silent, for what felt like hours, neither of us moving, talking... breathing.

And then his eyes found mine, softened ever so slightly, and my breath caught in my throat. "I hate that you're so perceptive."

"You don't. But whatever."

He rasped out something barely passable for a laugh and changed positions, settling onto the bed next to me.

More silence.

And then a sigh. I didn't know which one of us it came from.

"It wasn't bullshit when I said I couldn't look at you the same way."

"I know."

"I wish I could say I'm sorry, but I'm not. I'm too…"

"I know," I said again.

He nodded.

"So where does that leave us?" I whispered, even though I already knew. Nothing I did or said would make a difference to Edward right now. He needed more than just me. More than what I knew to give him. And I didn't have the slightest clue how to help him find it.

"Nowhere, Bella. It leaves us fucking nowhere."

Uh... yeah. It's probably not what a lot of you had in mind. I don't know. I'm just going to go hang out in my hidey hole with some turkey day food and stuff my face.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving, if you celebrate it on Thursday.