Chap 2

Bella

I'd try Charlies Doctor when he came next, see if he could tell me anything. By day fifteen the shakes had stopped and I felt much better although I had odd little moments that I lost. I would be washing up and then find myself sitting down, the washing up all dried and put away and I had no memory of doing it, these worried me but not as much as the shakes had. When the Doctor came next to see me he had a letter from Dr Cullen's registrar to say that the drug had been withdrawn from the trials and suggesting a more well known one but I refused. I wanted a look at the letter so when the Doc and Charlie went out to look at the Docs new fishing gear, another avid angler! I took a peek in his bag lifting the letter out. It was on nicely headed and official looking notepaper with the same Hospital address as on the bottle and signed by Dr Coleman in Dr Cullen's stead. I scanned the letter onto my computer before returning it and sitting down to watch TV waiting for them to come back in. When they did the Doc looked happy to see me up and about and not shaking.

"Dr Cullen suggested we try a different drug Bella, one without the side effects of this one."

"Did you speak to him? What did he say about my blood test results?"

"Who Dr Cullen? No, I spoke to Dr Coleman and he said the results were fine"

Now I knew someone was lying.

"How did I get on this medication? Its new isn't it?"

He looked at me puzzled.

"Yes. I was approached by the Hospital shortly after you had your trouble, offering a fee trial of the drug if I had a patient who might benefit. I put forward three names and a short medical history and yours was chosen".

"How do you contact Dr Coleman?"

"I have his Clinic Cell Phone Number it goes straight to him"

"Not the Hospital then?"

"Switchboards are the bane of doctors lives my dear. This way was much quicker, why?"

"Nothing, I just wondered. I think I might try without any drugs for a while. Try to pull my life together"

Both he and Charlie looked startled by my decision but the Doctor at least applauded my attempt. Charlie who had the sleepless nights with my nightmares and screaming was less happy and after two weeks we had a terrible row when he wanted me back on them again but I was more interested in finding out where the Cullens were, I'd been unable to trace them on-line or in the library. Apart from a base here in Forks I had no leads at all on the family. I'd been trolling the hospital websites looking for a Dr Carlisle Cullen, he had to be working somewhere, and I would find him. It suddenly occurred to me that maybe he didn't want to be found or why the subterfuge? But why? If I hunted for him would Alice see and warn him? It was a chance I had to take. I had no other way of looking for them and with their money they could be anywhere in the world let alone the country but I had questions needing answers and I had to start someplace, the USA was that start.

The rows with Charlie got more bitter and I knew I'd have to move out. I wasn't going back on medication and I was going to find Carlisle and see what he'd done to me and why. I made just about enough money to rent a one bed apartment in Port Angeles. The less desirable side of town which reminded me of the first time I had seen Edward out of school. My almost rape that he prevented, well he wasn't around now so I took care not to be out after dark. Charlie went crazy when I told him but I just put my house key on the table and walked to my truck, what could he do? I was an adult, he couldn't stop me and even Renee and Phil begging me to go back or go to Jacksonville had no effect so they stopped trying. Charlie started by visiting once a week with a food parcel for me but that tapered off when we found we had nothing to say to each other. Emily and Sam appeared one day but it was too hard seeing them so I avoided answering the door after that. After a while they all got the message and left me alone. I had my cell phone and Mp3 player for company and spent most of my time, when not at work, in the library looking for Dr Cullen on the computer. After a while I became a fixture, like the old man who sat reading the papers all day in the warm just for somewhere to go and someone to talk to occasionally. He and I would exchange a smile as we passed but that was all.

After drawing a blank for the second month in a row I decided to see if there were any clues in the Cullen house. Anything to give me an idea where they might have gone. I drove to Forks on a day I knew Charlie was away on a fishing trip and avoided the town using the back roads. Seeing the house for the first time in so long was a shock, it stood silent and quite obviously abandoned, the grass thigh high and the driveway choked with weeds, for once I was grateful for my old truck. I looked around before taking a deep breath and getting out. The porch steps were green with algae and slippery so I was very careful climbing up to the door, I pushed on it and to my surprise it swung open silently.

Inside it was more or less as I remembered, the furniture covered with dust sheets now but unmoved. The only item that jarred was Edwards piano which sagged drunkenly where he had thrown Jasper into it at my party. I ran my hand over the keys and they jangled eerily. The dining room was the same and the kitchen, so I braced myself and took the stairs two at a time stopping to look at the pictures still hanging on the walls. I noticed the huge wooden cross that Carlisles father had made was gone but nothing else it seemed. Opening Carlisles study I peered in but it was empty, the desk drawers open and bare, the bookshelves containing only dust bunnies. I looked in the next room but it too was bare, Esme and Carlisles room I guessed from the pictures left on the wall. I went into Emmett and Roses next, but this too was almost bare. No pictures on the walls and just a few old tee shirts of Ems still hung in the closet. I shut the door and braced myself to go in the final rooms of the house, those on the top floor including Edward's.