Wow, I'm completely fail on review replies thanks to RL. Sorry. I'll just do a quick "THANKS" to everyone who reviewed that I didn't get a chance to say anything back to. I loved them all.

Thanks to Stratan for the beta work; thanks to stephk0525, claireoth, and twilover76 for prereading my shit. Flove you guys.

So... ok, enough talk. Read on ;)

Chapter 20

Edward

The sound of something whizzing by my ear pulled me out of my trance. I glanced over my shoulder to see what it was, only to have something wet and sticky hit my cheek.

"Christ fuck, was that a spitball?" I snarled. I wiped my face and glared down at the messy white ball in my hand.

Jasper laughed.

"Grow up," I said, slamming my textbook closed and biting back a smile.

"My eyes are crossing. I need to call it a day."

I glanced down at my phone and noted the time. I needed to get off campus before Bella arrived for class; before I saw her and spilled my guts... Before I was ready to be an actual boyfriend to her.

"Yeah, same here," I lied.

I grabbed my shit and rushed out the door without waiting for Jasper. I knew Bella's schedule, having pulled a few strings to secretly get it, and was cutting it close today. If I didn't hurry, I'd-

"Fuck me," I muttered, stopping dead in my tracks.

Her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail, and she had a blue bag slung over her shoulder. She laughed at something Alice said, and then turned around to make a comment to the guy behind her.

"Well, you managed to avoid Bella for the first three weeks of classes, man," Jasper said and slapped my shoulder. I went rigid and glowered over at him, really not in the mood to be touched. "Good job."

I turned my attention back to Bella. She looked incredible, happy even, and seemed to fit right in with the group of people surrounding her. My heart raced when she gazed over at some blonde haired kid, speeding up even more when he brushed a stray lock of hair out of her eyes.

I lurched forward, and then was stopped by my brother.

"Easy, Edward. Don't do anything to get arrested."

"She's gone," I mumbled. I wanted to reach up and grab at my aching chest, so I clenched my hands at my side.

"No, she's not. Just look at her body language." Jasper pointed her stance out. "She's distancing herself from this guy."

"But he's..."

"So what? You knew this was a possibility"

"I..." I didn't bother trying to come up with anything more, because what was there to say? This was my worst nightmare playing out before me.

And it was my fault.

"Goddamn it, Jasper. I can't watch this."

"All right," he drawled. "Let's go."

But something happened. The group quickly broke away from one another, leaving Bella to walk with the blonde fucker alone. She started to move toward us, and then tripped over a loose brick in the sidewalk.

It was like time ceased to exist as she fell toward the ground, playing out in slow motion. No way would I have been able to catch her, even if I'd wanted to make my presence known. Which I didn't. It wasn't in the plan. The plan was to let Bella live her life in peace while I tried to sort my shit out. And I still wasn't there. There were things in my past that made me...

Dark, wide brown eyes found mine, and I started to take another step forward, only to stop when the guy standing beside her pulled her up to her feet with a laugh. He checked over her legs for bruises, laughing again when she pushed him away.

Her lips moved, and I could have sworn she said my name.

"Bella!"

The fucker beside her broke the connection. She turned her attention to him, giving me just enough time to make my escape. There was so much to talk about, and even if I had been ready for this, the last thing I wanted to do was discuss things in front of an audience. She deserved better than to be made a spectacle in the middle of the fucking UDub campus.

I retreated with Jasper back to our apartment where I went straight to my room and tried to study some more. But I couldn't stop thinking about Bella and the guy she was with. As much as I wanted to wait, I was beginning to see that any kind of resistance was futile. I needed to see her face again, her smile... Crawl back to her and beg forgiveness for everything I ever did or said, for all the things I will regret for the rest of my life.

I just hoped like fuck that it wasn't too late; that I hadn't burned the bridge that was sitting between us with my obstinacy.

I glanced over at the clock; it'd taken me hours to get my head out of my ass, when it had only felt like mere minutes. Bella was already out of class for the weekend, and I had no idea where she was living. I supposed I could search apartment complexes near campus for her, but that seemed like a fucking waste of time.

So I grabbed my cell phone and dialed a number I never thought I'd use.

"Chief Swan?" I asked as soon as the familiar, gruff voice answered.

"Ah... Edward?"

"Yes, sir. I'm sorry to bother you but I... I need your help."

"Okay," he said slowly. "What with?"

"I need to know how to find Bella."

Silence. And then a suspicious, "Why?"

I bit down on my cheek. Hard. Because I was unsure of what to say.

"Want the truth?" I finally asked back.

"That would be nice, yes."

"I'm a fucking idiot. An idiot who loves your daughter. I ran into her today but left before I could talk to her because we were in public and it seemed like a shitty thing to stop her like that and tell her."

He grunted, so I continued.

"I want her to know how sorry I am and how much I'm working to... to-"

"I know what you've been doing. And I'm just going to tell you now that you don't deserve her."

I swear to fuck, I shook right there.

"You'll never deserve her."

"Uh... Fuck, yeah, I know. I-"

"Now, that being said, I have a few conditions."

"Conditions?" I asked blankly.

"You want to know how to find her or not?"

"Ah, yes?" I squeaked.

His sharp exhale filtered over the line. "Your driving. It's horrible."

"Err..."

"So you either fix it by enrolling in a defensive driving class or let her drive everywhere. She's not to get in a car with you otherwise. Got it?"

Defensive driving? Son of a bitch.

"Yes, sir."

"Your language. Bella gets you, but I don't. I don't want to hear you speaking to her in any way other than with extreme politeness. Reverent, even."

"Reverent," I repeated, dumbfounded. "Okay..."

"You stay in therapy."

That was easy to agree to. "Of course."

"You're not sneaking into my house again. What you two do up in Seattle is your own business; that doesn't mean I have to know about it, you hear me?"

My hand involuntarily snuck up to the neckline of my shirt. Jesus, it was hot as hell in here. "Sure. But in my defense, I've never done anything you'd disapprove of with your daughter. Under your roof or not."

He was quiet again, just long enough that I was sweating bullets. But fuck me, I'd grovel to the man if he'd just tell me where Bella's apartment was.

"All right," he eventually said. "I believe you."

Christ. I slumped over in relief, but wasn't sure what the appropriate response was. Thank you?

"Bella's not at home," he continued, before I could try it.

"She's not?"

"No. She's got an affinity for baseball, thanks to you and your family. Goes to the field down the street from her apartment a lot."

"Baseball," I murmured to myself with a rough laugh.

Only Bella.

"She goes with a guy. Garrett."

I cursed, knowing exactly who Garrett was.

"Sorry. Sorry," I rushed, berating myself for fucking up already.

He simply laughed. "The guy doesn't stand a chance. He just doesn't know it yet."

I perked up a little at that.

"He thinks that if he gives her enough time, she'll get over you. Then he'll get the girl, so to speak." Quick pause. "And do not, under any circumstances, tell her I know all of this. She'd kill me."

So the chief was doing a little recon on his daughter...

There was some rustling on his end. "Now, let me dig up that address, and you can go do whatever it is you're planning."

I opened my mouth to explain to him that I had no plan in mind. The plan I'd originally had was blown out of the water the moment I saw her face.

"Don't tell me," he said abruptly. "I don't want to know. Because then I'd have a moral obligation to warn Bella in case she would want to... avoid you."

My lips twitched with a smile. "Yes, sir."

"And I don't necessarily want her to avoid you," he continued. "For whatever reason, and I don't think I'll ever understand it, you made her happy. I want that back, Edward."

"The happiness?"

"Yeah," he said thickly, "the happiness. Plus, I might owe you a little something for that stunt you pulled when I had my attack."

"Oh, uh... no, you don't," I responded awkwardly, driving a hand through my hair.

He was quiet long enough that I thought he was going to agree that he didn't owe me anything, and then in turn not give me the address.

Shit, I was sweating again.

"Are you going to argue about this with me or get the address of the ball field?" he asked me.

"Field," I mumbled.

"Then get a pen and piece of paper ready, because I'm about to tell you where to find your girl."

I pulled into a space toward the back of the parking lot beside the baseball field, making sure that Bella couldn't see me before I was prepared for her to. There was a new, black Camaro shining under the bright lights focused on the diamond. The stupid fucker had carelessly parked next to the dugout, not once considering the potential of fly balls raining down on the pristine hood. I searched the lot for Bella's truck and saw it nowhere, realizing with a sinking feeling that she'd ridden here with the blonde douche.

My grip on the steering wheel grew tighter.

And then I forced myself to let go, to get out and make my way over to her; I wouldn't fix anything by hiding out in the car like this. She was at the plate, the guy from earlier at the pitcher's mound throwing some shitty balls at her. The crack of the bat sounded followed by Bella's laugh. It found my ears and worked its way into my chest and around my heart.

I took a deep breath in an attempt to steel my resolve and shake the way the sound affected me. I wanted to turn around before she saw me, but somehow kept my feet going until I had reached the fence behind them.

From there, I watched.

Sweatpants today. A loose, gray t-shirt. Only I knew what lied beneath, and how her ass looked in jeans and the way her yoga pants stretched across it. She shifted enough so that I could see the logo on her t-shirt, and my fingers tightened around the chain link just as a low moan bubbled out of my chest.

My shirt.

My girl.

I pushed off the fence; the clanking sound caused Bella to glance over just as a ball came hurtling through the air beside her.

"Jesus, Bella!" the guy shouted at her. "I could have knocked you out!"

But she didn't answer, intently focused on me and the way I was suddenly pacing like a madman, not knowing what to say or do or-

"Edward?" I stopped moving and risked a glance at her. I could have sworn my knees buckled a little, my lungs deflated. Because after all this time - all this work - I still didn't know if I was good enough for her. If I'd ever be. There were so many cracks in my foundation, and no matter how hard I tried, I was unsure if I could ever fully repair the damage. "What are you doing here?'

"I was told I could find you here," was all I said.

Her brows knit. "So that was really you earlier today, wasn't it? I wasn't hallucinating?"

"Ah, yeah, I was-"

"Bella!" the guy tried. I didn't escape me that he refused to look in my direction as I moved inside the fence and onto the field, steps away from where Bella stood in shock. "Come on, I gotta go. I have an exam to study for and-"

"Go ahead, Garrett. I... I'll get a ride with Edward," she shouted back, her eyes shifting to me questioningly.

I nodded a confirmation.

"I can wait," he answered, prompting me to throw a glare in his direction. He needed to leave.

Now.

"No, it's fine. I'll make him help me retrieve the balls since he interrupted us." Her mouth made this cute little smirk as she turned her attention to me again. "Sorry. He's kind of... persistent."

Rage. Fuck, I hadn't been this angry since-

"Edward?" she asked worriedly. "What is with you?"

"Garrett," I growled, pulling at my hair. "Fucking hell."

"What about him?" she asked, her eyes darting over to where he was shoving shit into his duffle angrily.

"Jasper wasn't wrong, was he? I'm not too late?" I whispered to myself.

Her eyes searched my face. "Too late for what?"

I shook my head in frustration. "You're not... Him?"

She blinked a few times, probably while she translated that botched attempt at a question.

"Me, with Garrett?" She closed the distance between us, stopping so that she was standing right in front of me. "No."

"You. I-" I stopped and let my eyes drift over to where Garrett stood beside the car waiting for Bella. Still. An emotion flashed through me, and then I was taking a step closer to her, my ribs brushing against her chest with every breath I took.

"No," she repeated emphatically. "Garrett's great. But I'm not into him like that."

I relaxed slightly.

"So what are you too late for?"

I dropped my head and squeezed my eyes closed for a second, hating how horrible I was at this shit. "I'm sorry."

"For?"

"Everything."

She stared up at me, searching, wanting, a flare of hope in her eyes. After all I'd done to her, she still clung to that hope, still stared at me with acceptance and so much feeling that I broke. Fell to her feet. Because never, in any version of my future, would I amount to anything without her in it.

"Your journal..." Her eyes abruptly filled with tears with those two words.

I panicked.

"They're good tears," she whispered as she read my reaction.

I ground my teeth together so I didn't say something fucking ridiculous. Or groan with the way that made me feel. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." There was a beat of awkward silence. "You read it?"

I nodded, and a mangled, relieved sob came bursting out of her. "You let me see... Why?"

"You needed to know," she sniffled. "All of it. Me. I didn't know how to explain it to you. I never really got to, either."

"I didn't need a grammatically correct letter detailing your entire search, Bella."

She swiped away a tear. "No?"

"God, no. I just... I needed time. I-"

"You what?"

"I love you," I groaned, fighting off the urge to move around while I spoke. "I've known it from the second I opened that journal and was reminded of everything you are. Fell in love with you more with every page I read. And I waited so fucking long to tell you because I wanted to get it right. Be right for you. I couldn't tell you before, didn't know if it was possible, but now-"

She didn't let me finish - not that I had any more to say, really. Her arms wrapped around my neck; her lips fused with mine. Jesus fucking Christ, I'd never felt something so sublime. Joy welled up inside me so immense that I couldn't breathe and had to tear myself away from her, panting and smiling - genuinely smiling - for the first time in months.

"Don't you ever walk away from me again, Edward Cullen," she reprimanded, but a grin ghosted across her face. "I won't be able to forgive you if you do."

"You forgive me?"

A small nod against my shoulder, and I was kissing her again. Because never did I expect immediate forgiveness for being such a selfish fuck all this time.

But then again, I hadn't factored in the capacity of Bella's heart.

Her heart. My hand stretched up under her shirt to feel at the scar just as I heard the Camaro's engine start up. We never parted from one another, not even at the sound of tires squealing on pavement as Garrett drove away.

"Maggie's," I murmured against her lips, a small sense of satisfaction going through me as I spoke the word aloud to her.

A shudder ran through her as my fingertips danced over the line between her breasts. "Maggie's."

"Start over?"

Hands, fisting at my shirt, pulling me closer.

"So much to talk about," she gasped.

I backed her up to the fence, pushed against her with a low groan. "Later," I managed, my hands working over her body as quickly as they could. Her hips rolled into mine. "Ah... Fuck, later."

Urgency now; a blistering hot, all-consuming fire to be inside her. Shoving clothes out of the way and touching each other in ways I'd never allowed before, because I'd never let myself be open to this. To her, to us, to the possibility that my flaws could be fixed, that wounds could heal. Her hips continued to undulate against me; I hitched her leg up to feel more. My shirt came off over my head, and her eyes landed on the scars that peppered my chest.

"Exit wounds," I said hoarsely. "And then, of course, there's where they cut me open to..."

The way her fingers traced over the raised flesh stole my breath again.

"That was the intended kill shot," I told her, referring to the scar near my heart. "Three millimeters to the left, and he'd have done it."

"We match," she breathed.

Self-loathing suddenly came over as I thought about exactly why I was shot, what I'd done those months before it happened. We didn't match at all. She was so good and I was...

I started to back away, but I couldn't because Bella latched onto me, her eyes wild with fear.

"Please don't," she begged.

Leave me, filled the silence that followed.

"I'm not... I... You need to know before..."

"Know what?"

"All the girls," I half moaned, unable to watch her reaction.

She was quiet. And then, "The last one was when?"

"In Chicago."

My eyes were pulled from the ground by the feel over her hands on my cheeks. "Were you safe?"

"Always," I ground out.

"Then what's the problem?"

"I... You... Fuck, Bella, I took advantage of them. I did..."

"What you had to do to survive?" she finished for me.

I didn't answer.

"Take me home?"

Surprise shot through me. "What?"

"Home. To your place. I want..." She trailed off with a flush.

Was she fucking serious with this shit?

"Even though-"

She smiled at me, entertained by my uncertainty. "When will you ever get it."

"Get it?" I repeated slowly.

"I love you. All of you. Each piece of yourself that you give me just makes me want you more, Edward. Just like you say each page of my journal did for you. I don't know why that's such a hard concept for you to grasp."

The car was suddenly too fucking far away. I couldn't tear my hands, my body - my mouth - away from her. I nearly dropped us down to the ground to have my way with her, only able to stay upright with the reminder that this was her first time. It needed to be something more than this, somewhere other than where we could be seen under the lights as someone drove by.

As if she'd read my mind, she broke away, breathing heavily as she said, "It's your first time too. It should be what you want just as much as what you want for me."

"Bella, did you not fucking hear a word I said before?"

"None of them count," she sighed. She ran her fingers through my hair, and I thought I might fall right fucking over with how good it felt. "Because now I get what you were trying to tell me in the car that night in Port Angeles."

She remembered.

I must've said that out loud, because she laughed a little. "I remember everything you've said."

"Oh."

"You haven't experienced sex the way it was meant to be."

"God fucking damn it," I chuckled. "I hate it when you do that."

"Keep telling yourself that, Sparky."

"Sparky?" I questioned flatly.

"Your hair," she replied, that flush creeping up to her cheeks once more. "It sparks a kind of copper color in the light."

"Jesus fuck- Don't call me that in public," I snapped, pulling her closer. The way her body molded to mine reminded me just how hard I was, how much I still burned for her.

And that I was standing in the middle of a fucking baseball field half naked.

"My apartment's probably not as close as yours," I said lowly.

"That's okay. What's a little more time after all of these months?"

I rolled my eyes at the dig.

"Besides, we can stop and get anything we might need on the way."

The meaning wasn't lost on me. "I um, I might uh, already... Fuck, I have some."

She jerked her head back so that she could see me clearly. "What's a guy claiming to not have had sex in years doing with condoms?"

"Emmett," I snarled. "He likes to make sure they're around... Just in case or whatever. He even replaces the expired ones with... new."

She burst into a fit of giggles. "Emmett?" A few more laughs at my expense. "Not surprised."

I huffed, really wanting to get angry with her for laughing at my discomfort.

But I couldn't. The feel of hearing her laugh was nothing in comparison for being the reason she did.

Thanks to Chief Swan, the drive back to my apartment was excruciating. I wanted to race down the streets and skid into my usual space at the apartment complex. Get Bella naked on my bed and watch her writhe as I explored her body, tasted that sweet spot between her legs. Make her come until the sheets smelled like sweat and sex and her.

I beat my hand against the steering wheel, causing Bella to jump slightly in her seat.

But none of that was happening right now, because I was stuck obeying traffic rules and getting caught at every goddamned light instead. I knew Bella wanted to ask about it, but stayed silent for some reason. Maybe she was struggling as I was.

Fuck, that thought didn't help at all.

The second I put the Volvo in park, I unbuckled Bella's seatbelt and pulled her into my lap. The horn made a broken sound as she settled against me, her hands coming up to frame my face as she leaned down and kissed me.

Hot and desperate, I fumbled for the door handle, eventually finding it and shoving the door open with my elbow as I unlatched the fucker. I tumbled out onto pavement with Bella and used my foot to close the door - praying I didn't make a dent - as I carried her up to the apartment.

Her movements never ceased as I blindly climbed the stairs. Hips rolling, hands grabbing, reaching, tugging, ripping... I managed to get us to the steel door, and abruptly realized that I'd left my fucking keys in the ignition.

I cursed, and then banged on the door, my mouth never leaving Bella's.

Jasper opened it after a few seconds, a sound of surprise escaping him.

"Get out," I growled, shoving him out into the hallway.

"What?"

"Take my car and go."

"Go where?" he asked incredulously.

"Keys are in the ignition. I don't care where you go, just don't come back until tomorrow morning."

"B, can you talk some sense into him?" Jasper pleaded. "Where the hell am I supposed to stay while you two...?"

"My place?" she breathed. She reached for the door and grinned at him. "Keys are in my bag in the backseat."

"Neither of you could bother to get your keys?"

She ignored him. "Tell Alice where I am, will ya?"

And then slammed the door shut in his face.

A muffled protest followed, "But I don't know where you live!"

Not my problem.

xx

A shirt in the living room.

Jeans in the hallway.

A giggle as my hands brushed over an apparent ticklish area on her body.

A groan as her bra fell to the floor of my bedroom, her hands coming up to her chest subconsciously.

xx

I grabbed Bella and tugged her hands down, shaking my head at her as I backed her toward the bed. "Don't hide from me. You're the most beautiful thing I've ever fucking seen."

Her eyes found mine, dark and unsure. "Habit."

"A habit I intend to break."

I dipped down to kiss her, my lips skimming over the line of her jaw and over her neck, lowering further and further down until I reached her breasts.

A garbled "Fuck" came out of Bella as my mouth closed over her nipple.

God damn, if that wasn't enough to make me come...

I had to concentrate on going slow, on not just ripping those little, red boyshorts off of her and taking her hard. Fast. Because there would be time for that.

So much fucking time.

And then she was naked in my bed, glistening with sweat, worked up and wriggling around as I reached over her and into the drawer for a condom. Her lips traveled over my chest, down my stomach. Her hands grasped my hips as she continued the torture, stopping just before she-

The foil packet made a crinkling noise in my hand as I made a fist.

"Bella-"

"Can I put it on?" she asked tentatively.

"Shit, uh..." I flopped onto my back, unable to deny her anything at this particular moment.

She took the condom out of my hand and opened it, pulling her bottom lip in between her teeth as she studied it. She fucking knew so much about everything, but on this she was absolutely clueless.

It made her all the more endearing.

"It goes like this." I turned it around and placed it back into her hands, guiding her movements as we rolled it onto my length together.

She crawled up my body and straddled me, still gnawing on her lip.

"Baby, we don't have to do this," I started to ramble. Fuck, apparently, I was just as nervous as she was. "We can just lay here or whatever. You need to want this like I do, and if you don't, that's..." I swallowed hard. "That's okay. I wasn't lying when I said I wanted it to be fucking right, when I said I wanted to start over. If that means we start at the beginning with nothing but some kisses and other… shit then-"

Shut the fuck up already.

She answered by taking me in her hand and slowly sinking down on me, not stopping until I was all the way inside her.

The feel of her body wrapped around me helped overpower the instinct to pull away, to not defile her with my filth. But it was there, only kept at bay by my determination to not ruin this one fucking thing for her, like I'd done with practically everything else.

I needed to be so, so good for her now…

She sat still on top of me, adjusting. My fingers dug into her flesh as I waited for her, my eyes roamed her face needing confirmation that she wasn't hurting. Because fuck, if I hurt her in any way-

She rolled her hips tentatively, wincing a little, and I nearly came on the spot, immediately not regretting jacking off or something in the bathroom beforehand. It'd been too long, and Bella on top of me - riding me - was a fucking gorgeous sight.

Her eyes snapped to mine. Wide, open, never breaking contact, she moved, explored. She gained confidence, speed, bringing her hands to my shoulders for leverage as she came down on me, rocked and whimpered.

Close, my hips flexed into her motions, causing my name to spill from her lips.

Jesus, the sound was perfect.

I moaned, grabbed her and pulled her into my thrusts. But it still wasn't enough. I needed to be deeper, closer to her, so I flipped us over and pushed her knees back. Not as far as I wanted, but enough that she felt the difference and gasped.

Whether it was one of pain or not, I couldn't tell. Because still, I needed more.

I drove into her harder with each pass, dropping my head to kiss her as the sounds of us coming together filled the room. She arched into me, raised her hips, and groaned.

So fucking close.

I let one of her legs fall, bringing my hand between us to play with her clit instead. Hearts hammering, breathing labored, the world disappeared. Nothing mattered but what was happening between us as her body tightened, coiled, and neared release.

"I think I'm going to come," she managed in shock. "Is that supposed to happen the first time?"

"Fuck." I gulped down air. "I don't know. I've never taken someone's virginity before."

At least, I didn't think I had.

Guilt ate at me again, and my movements faltered. Bella was giving me, of all people, this. Something she could never get back… Something so important and-

She shifted beneath me, oblivious to what was going on inside my fucking mind, and let out a moan.

I momentarily forgot what I was freaking the fuck out over.

"Let me feel it, baby," I said, breathing heavily. "Let me feel what I do to you."

I needed to feel it to stay sane, to know I wasn't a total, advantageous, piece of shit. That I could give her something back, that I-

"Yes. Please," she mumbled. "God- Oh, God-"

She cried out as she came around me, gripping me... owning me. Thrusts erratic, I came with her, a guttural groan leaving my mouth as I did. Because never in my life had I experienced something so intense. The horny teenager I was in Chicago had always liked sex in whatever shape or form it came in. He pushed away any and every feeling associated with it, focused on the orgasm alone. This, though… This was so much more. Almost incomprehensible.

It was Bella. It was everything.

As soon as I could move again, I checked to make sure she was all right; that she didn't have bruises from my grasp or wasn't bleeding onto the sheets, needing a distraction from the way each part of me pitched, from the way I was reeling. Her eyes found mine once more, her soft smile and happy sigh destroying what was left of my guard.

There was a heaviness in my chest now, stealing my breath. I screwed my eyes shut and tried to make sense of it. It crossed my mind that I needed to get off of her and let her wash up... rest. But I didn't move, anchored to the girl, a new melody playing in my head for the first time in years.

I realized that I was babbling. "I didn't fucking know. Couldn't fucking possibly..."

Because now I understood what my parents had, Emmett and Rosalie.

I understood it all.

Not over. Not even a little. Just FYI in case you were wondering.

See everyone in two weeks, unless by some miracle I can pack boxes, move furniture, work two jobs during tax season, do a Uranus project w/my daughter, and write all at the same time. Then I'd just take to calling myself Super Woman. Fucking seriously.