The Deadly Twin

by SfoCrazy

Where can you go if you are dead, then meet your almost twin who is dead, while joined by your wife who is bonded to you. Then Zeus makes a decision along with the other godesses. Then will you revenge Dumbledore who killed you. Please, this is M rated for everything, but no slash.

31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31- Too many cooks

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"Harry, Harry Granger, wait up." Susan Bones yelled.

"Oh, hi Susan you ready for another train ride to Hogwarts?" I asked.

She locked arms with me and Hermione and almost dragged us on the train. "You two are not getting away until you spill about your summer, auntie is right pissed off and taking names."

~"Wonder what that's about?" Hermione mused.

~"Well Foxy we should find out once we get into the compartment."

~"Paws we should wait until everyone is in so it isn't repeated twenty times."

FlashBack:

After everything settled down that night of the attack and we all headed off to the apartment and our beloved Jacuzzi. It seems that Foxy was enjoying my roaming hands prior to the attack and we resumed our exploration once we got to bed. Paws was my private name after that night. It started with a kiss or two, my hands were rubbing over her stomach headed upwards. Hermione suddenly straddles me and kisses me soundly. I felt her firm, bum on my lap, and it made me react. My hands were running down her back, to the start of her hips. This time, just as I was about to start massaging downward, she reached around and grabbed my wrists and brought my hand around, and placed one on each of her breast. After a few seconds, cupping each breast and kneaded them lightly she shivered a little bit and moaned. She suddenly jumps up and runs into the bathroom; I joined her for a cold shower.

End Flashback:

As the train started Susan could not wait any longer and "Tell us all about your attack this summer and how you destroyed ten bad guys." That got the entire compartment ready for a juicy tale. We of course told it as if we had used our wands in destroying all the bad guys. About the time we were entering the house Draco and his book ends slid open the compartment door. None of the girls waited for his usual dribble and a flood of curses put all three on the floor out cold.

I almost chocked to death when Susan re-started her tale because Ron showed up with Parvati and on automatic when the door slid open the curses flew. I think Ron wanted to impress or show off his Perfect Badge but he never got a chance and joined Draco on the floor, Parvati made a run for cover.

"Well auntie goes to Gringotts to check out some information and when she comes back to the house she is fuming. It appears that Snape has been reading student's minds and one student I won't name here in this compartment, he made two official complaints against Snape. Well the Aurors just threw the complains in a file and forgot about them. Here is where it gets wild; one of those ten you put down Harry started screaming diplomatic immunity in French. That got the French head of the DMLE over here to see what a diplomat was doing trying to kill someone. Anyhow they pull his immunity and feed him full of Veritaserum and he doesn't know a name but they got your name and address from Hogwarts. The hit team was revenge for the Mafia five you killed in France. Auntie is all over Dumbledore because of what she learned at Gringotts and something about Harry Potter and Dumbledore being the only one to know something or other. Dumbledore is in trouble and Snape is now under arrest in the security ward of St Mungo."

~"You know Paws, Jean was right this school is just not right from any angle you look at it from."

~"Yes Foxy, the first thing I see this year is why are you not a Perfect and how in the stupid blazes is Ron Weasley a Perfect?"

~"Probably a good baby sitter of "The deadly Twin" but believe me when I say I would rather be with you than patrolling cold hallways.

We chatted and were happy to be at Hogwarts until breakfast the next morning. The Dailey Profit arrived and it appears that Harry Granger was responsible because of his troubles in France and that brought hit men to England's shores. Snape was not even mentioned.

~"I wonder who got to the Dailey Profit, Fudge or Dumbledore?" I mused.

~"I would stick with the odds on favorite." Foxy giggled.

/Scene Break/

Ministers of Magic's Office:

"Lucius we don't have the money for all those Aurors, can't we just send a handful?" Minister Fudge whined.

"Cornelius, you have Pettigrew escaping under you nose and that is were they originally caught him. Dumbledore is up to something and you know it. If you don't have every Auror at the school for the final task and something happens you could loose you job." Lucius Malfoy stated.

"We don't have the funding…" Fudge started.

"Then let me donate this sack of gold to the cause." Malfoy stated, knowing that half would end up in Fudges Pocket. He chuckled more as all those Aurors would be in the wrong place for the Dark Lords return.

/Scene Break/

I was up early, invisible and flying over the maze for the third task. There were all kinds of strange stuff roaming in the maze from a Skrewt to a Sphinx. The TriWizard cup was in the middle but then I noticed something. All the traps, animals etc were all confined to a specific area. That made sense, you didn't want them wandering into each other. What I saw was there was a route with no obstacles, take that route and is was a peaceful stroll to the cup.

The stands were filling up even though no one could see what was to happen in the maze. There were Aurors all over the place along with anybody that thought they were somebody. News people, parents, politicians, and hell even the Centaurs were watching from the forest. All the contestants are now in the maze and there is Creepy Eye on the outside waving his wand. Neville was coming to a fork, left or right? Creepy Eye has caused a hedge or something that appears to be a hedge, thus blocking the right fork, this makes Neville take the left. Neville is being guided on the safe route by Creepy Eye. I wondered if there was anyone in Hogwarts that didn't have a scheme in place.

Well let me see if I can upset their apple cart. I put my invisible self by the cup so I can tell Neville it's probably a trap. Not to smart on my part. Neville comes barreling around the hedge being chased by a humongous spider, well so much for the safe route. He runs into me before I can say anything, knocking both of us backwards into the cup. Well the next thing I know is awakening to see a snake using its tongue to smell me on one side of a head stone. A head stone that must have caused this headache and lump I have. Neville is tied to another head stone near Wormtail. Three dudes dressed in masks and black cloaks are standing around this creepy looking idiot who is standing nude in a cauldron.

Well the snake is my first priority as I shift slowly away from the crowd. It is time to act or be eaten so my 'Reducto' down its open mouth caused a bit of attention as the snake exploded in different directions. I seemed to have interrupted a duel between the now dressed idiot and Neville. Well the odds were not great for Neville as he looked like he was going to faint. I transformed into my phoenix, grabbed Neville and flamed to Hogwarts.

Now being a Pheionix is kind of cool. When you flash in and immeadiatly flash out all anyone would see was a flash. I dumped Neville in front of the stands which made him look like he fell out of no where with a bright flash. I heard Neville say, "Professor, Voldemort is back and his followers have returned to him." If I had known I would have tried to get in a few curses before I left. Dumbledore stated for Neville to stay put but the "Dangerous Twin" gets led off with Creepy Eye. I trudge after them as Creepy Eye can't be up to any good things. He turns out to be Bartemius Crouch Jr. under Polyjuice and is going to kill Neville. When Dumdum blasted down the door he found Neville still tied to a chair, and bound, the stunned Crouch was on the floor. I had flamed to Hermione and an ice pack for my forehead.

/Scene Break/

AND school trudges on:

We had a temporary Professor Slughorn for potions. Neville was declared the TriWizard champion. Harry Granger and Harry Granger got to happily stay in the background until the trial. Gryffindor still had not won a game of Quittage. Ron and Draco were verbally trying to kill each other. The Dailey Profit was bad mouthing Dumbledore and Neville as insane and liars as to Voldemort returning. So we went to classes and watched cauldrons exploding, murderous plants and half transformed hedgehogs. The rumors were the best as there were three camps at Hogwarts, pro Dumdum, anti Dumdum and Rita Skeeter's articles.

/Scene Break/

Summer was ok but not that special except for Foxy and my relationship. It was progressing quite well but still had its limits. Then came the trial and our little cocoon was ruptured. Amelia gave us a summons to her office.

"Harry, Hermione, nice to see you again, I just wish it was under better circumstances."

"We thank you Amelia but what seems to be the problem?"

"Dumbledore has Snape demanding a trial which is probably rigged for acquittal. There is a good chance that you will be called and if you do you will be required to give your legal name if asked. So you have the choice of that or dropping all charges against Snape." Amelia was not happy.

~"Well Foxy what do you think?"

~"While I don't like it I don't want Snape back at school. Then there is the thought of being able to say we are married because of our bond. This brother and sister routine at school sucks."

~"So I take that as a yes for the trial and releasing our real names?"

~"That is a yes."

"We go for the trial, but let's see how long we can keep our names secret." I answered Amelia.

"Yes I am going to be looking forward to a shocked Dumbledore." Amelia said but thought that just about everyone was going to get a shock or surprise.

/Scene Break/

It might seem fitting that this trial would be held in court room 10. Many of those filling into the room and sat around the gallery were current Hogwart students. The time was growing close to start time. The Chief Warlock Albus Dumbledore sat at the head table with about twenty members on either side of him. Minister Fudge sat with Dolores Umbridge the undersecretary. The empty chair in the middle of the room sat ominously waiting its chains dangling. A minute before start time three people walked into the room, the head of the DMLE, Harry Granger, and Hermione Granger. They headed to the prosecutions table. Percy Weatherbe was furiously putting quill to parchment as the proceedings began. As the prisoner was brought into the lower chamber by four Aurors, hisses and boo's were heard from the gallery. The Chief Warlock's gavel brought silence back to the room. Snape was sat in the chair and the magical chains secured him. Amelia Bones started the trial, "

"Severus Tobias Snape charges of attempted mind rape have been brought against you, how do you plea?"

Snape sneered, "Not guilty"

"Severus Tobias Snape charges of attempted kidnapping have been brought against you, how do you plea?" Amelia continued.

Again Snape snarled his contempt, "Not guilty"

"Do you have council or wish council to be appointed by the court?"

"I will represent myself against these ridiculous charges" Snape replied.

"As my first witness I call a student named Hermione Granger at Hogwarts to the stand"

Hermione took the stand and was asked if she was known as Hermione Jean Granger and she replied that she was born with that name. There were many questions such as did she ever give permission to be used in the tournament, did she go with Snape willingly and was she taken forcibly and against her will. She answered no to all the questions except the last and emphatically stated that she was forcibly taken against her will.

"Your witness Mr. Snape." Amelia smiled.

"What is you magical status?"

"Muggleborn witch." Hermione answered.

"That's all I want to ask of her." Snape stated as if that was enough to impeach the testimony.

"I call as my next witness the person known as Harry Jimmy Granger at Hogwarts." "Sir what is your true and correct name and title?" Amelia was smiling.

"Lord Harry James Potter, Heir to the Ancient and Noble Houses of Potter and Gryffindor." That got the attention of the room especially of Dumdum.

That started questions, talk, yelling and bewilderment that even the Chief Warlock gavel couldn't silence for numerous minutes. When quiet was restored, "Lord Potter will you relate your experiences please in reference to the charges against Mr. Snape?"

"Snape took direct approach in his potion class with me asking "Who are you really? You are not Harry Granger!" Well that direct approach caused me to make me look up and he tried his mind reading act on me. I dropped my outer wall until he was in and then I raised it again thus trapping him between two walls. Now it's hard to make up monsters when the magical world has trolls and werewolves. So I gave him muggle literature and had Kosh of the Vorlons with a few of "The Shadows" start an attack, I threw in a few Chimaeras and Harpies but kept Snape busy with Chewbacca and Frankenstein. "The Muppets" sent him screaming. When I released him he just sat in a corner and mumbled until Madam Pomfrey carted him off."

"Your witness Mr. Snape."

"No questions of the brat." Snape sneered.

~"Where's the correction of proper titles that Dumdum is so famous for?"

~"Must only apply to Snape dear."

We sat smiling as the guilty verdict was given and kept our smile when all charges were dropped for a small fine. We also expected to see Snape back at Hogwarts.

Then of course we did have the reporters to deal with which we did with Amelia and four Aurors present.

The Dailey Profit the next morning:

….….The Boy Who Lived Returns - Boy Accuses Albus Dumbledore

The boy who lived sat down with this reporter to discuss the trial of Severus Snape (See Page 5). Harry Potter was not surprised at the out come as he knew Albus Dumbledore would make sure he never saw Azkaban. Harry responded by saying that he did not know a lot of things that Dumbledore was doing such as putting blood tracking wards on him as a baby(See a list of accusations on Page 3). I asked why he was hiding by calling himself Harry Granger. Harry stated that he was terrified that Dumbledore would put him back with his abusive relatives (See Page 4 for specifics). Harry also stated that he saw the Dark Lord that night when Neville Longbottom won the Tri-Wizard Tournament (See page 2). We here at the Dailey Profit feel that this Harry Potter is nothing but dodgy. To accuse Albus Dumbledore the leader of the light is just barmy.

Rita Skeeter

Dailey Reporter

/Scene Break/

It is surprising what people notice what and how rules can be found or made to insure someone is happy or maybe sad. I received a official notification that my wand was not in accordance with school requirements and that I would obtain one at Olivanders if I wished to return to Hogwarts. Per Headmaster etc etc.

(Most of the following is attributable to J.K. Rowling's works and probaly others)

Since this was an official notification I official notified Hogwarts and the Ministry that I wanted an official representative at my official wand purchasing. They sent Amelia and Proffesor Macgonagall to officiate.

The first wand I was given to try was maple and phoenix feather core that measured seven inches. I didn't even get the chance to wave it before it was snatched out of my hand. The next wand I tried was an ebony wand with a unicorn hair that measured 8 ½ inches lasted no longer than the first. The pile of tried wands was growing ever larger, and I was starting to wonder if I would even get a wand to accept me at all. Perhaps I would be wand-less. "Tricky customer, eh? Not to worry, we'll find the perfect match here somewhere- I wonder, now- yes, why not- unusual combination- holly and phoenix feather, eleven inches, nice and supple." As I took the wand he felt a sudden warmth spread and Olivander cried out "Oh, bravo! Yes, indeed, oh, very good. Well, well, well… how curious… how very curious…"

"I'm sorry Mr. Olivander but what's so curious?" I asked.

"I remember every wand I have ever sold, . Every single wand. It so happens that the phoenix whose tail feather is in his wand, gave another feather- just one other. It is very curious indeed that he should be destined for this wand when its brother- why, its brother gave him that scar." There were several sharp breaths, and I myself swallowed hard. "Yes, 13 ½ inches. Yew. Curious indeed how these things happen. The wand chooses the wizard; remember…He-who-must-not-be-named did great things- terrible, yes, but great." I paid the galleons and snapped the wand in half. If those present thought Olivander was upset it was unfortunate that they were not around Dumbledore when Olivander told him. I just picked up and paid for something that would satisfy the Headmaster as I was working on wand-less magic anyhow.

More of Dumbledore's plans were destroyed for Harry Potter.

/Scene Break/

The rest of the summer was work. Paper work up the kazoo, meetings were also turning up. Several items had been developed by R&D so in two cases new companies were formed and funded. I decided that I was not going to waste my life doing things to make money; I already had more than I could spend. This brought more work hiring of squibs to run this or administrative staff to handle that. Then bringing in audit teams to make sure every thing was being done legally and honestly. Dan and Emma couldn't do it all even with us helping. Oh we got it done but welcomed the Hogwarts express in September.

There was a delightful surprise at the welcoming feast in the Great Hall of Hogwarts:

~"Told you Snape would be back." Hermione stated.

~"Well it's his funeral."

~"Your not going to do anything are you Paws?"

~"Oh yes I am, I just haven't thought it all the way out."

~"And who is that Toad looking woman?"

~"That Foxy is Madam Umbridge of the Ministry."

~"More trouble I assume."

~"Yes until we finish our OWLs this year we are stuck here. But afterwards the world is our playground."

Professor McGonagall had me in dumdums office directly after the feast. The conversation was full of twinkly eyes and a grandfatherly persona. It failed because Snape was present and sneering.

"So Harry where have you been all this time since you left the Dursley's?" Were Dumbledore's stupid type questions to show he cared? Harry Granger was enrolled with a Hermione Granger in Hogwarts, was he so dumb that beyond his ability to answer that question with, "At the Granger's house."

"First, that is Lord Potter; second, it is none of your business if you can't figure it out on your own."

"Always a Potter, continually an arrogant, rule breaking, brat that needs to be taught a lesson." Snape never changed his routine much.

"Ah yes! Should I send the Muppets over for a visit Snape?" I of course was corrected that it is Professor Snape. I laughed and left.

/Scene Break/

Our lovely schedule saved DADA and Potions until Friday. Most likely DADA would ruin our weekends with long essays and Potions with detentions and more long essays. DADA was a surprise as there was just reading from a book that couldn't teach a cow to give milk. Her declaration that the Dark Lord had not returned, which was the currant mantra from the Profit and the Minister of Magic. The stupid book and Umbitch's declerations got Neville and I detention that night.

~"Can't keep quiet, had to ruin our evening out to a nice movie and dinner."

~"Are you upset my love."

~"I don't know which of you I want to kill right now."

"Lord Potter you need to accompany me to the Headmasters office." Professor McGonagall did not look happy.

Entering the Headmasters office:

"Ah Harry my boy! What is this I hear about you being disrespectful to Professor Umbridge?"

"Stupidity and arrogance always brings out the best in me and that is still Lord Potter when you address me Headmaster."

"We need to discuss your aggressive tendencies to the staff…" I cut the boob off. " There is no trouble with the majority of the staff so issue your detention, point taking or expulsion so I can get to Grease's class on time. Madam Umbitch can bugger off." As Dumbledore was correcting the title and names in a fatherly fashion, I was leaving his office.

Entering the Potion class:

I could feel his hateful eyes burning into me as I entered but he said nothing. Snape glided around the class room growling at one student after another about their putrid potion or ineptness at reading the boards instructions. I then made a mistake and leaned over to retrieve my silver cutting knife from my backpack.

~"Harry! Your caldron…"

I instinctively banished the cauldron away from me, exploding cauldrons are dangerous not only from the blast, metal flying but the potion could be acid, poison or just plain nasty.

"sssshBLAMM", "WOOSH!"

~"Harry Snape tossed something in your cauldron."

~"Thanks dear."

~"Nice banishing, it went off over his Snape's desk."

The explosion sent everyone ducking and then running out the door, and then Snape's desk went off like a match in gasoline. The entire day of essays and his desk went up in smoke and flames. Snape lay smoldering in the corner.

~"Well off to McGonagall's class and when she is done with her class, off to the Headmasters I guess." Hermione giggled.

~"Should we do anything about Snape?" I asked.

~"His fault, his problem, lets go."

~"Yes dear." I like a practical girl.

Later at the Headmasters Office:

"Harry, Harry, Harry, what am I going to do with you?" Dumbledore twinkled.

"As I told you before its Lord Potter when you address me, and I think an award for special services to the school would be nice. Greasy started it, AGAIN!"

"Harry I am not going to be able to look the other way if you continue to..."

"Do what you will Headmaster, I have a detention with Umbitch in a couple of minutes, bye all." I left smiling.

~"Oh is McGonagall unhappy with Dumdum. Ouch! That was nasty remark."

~"Enjoy the show dear I must face the Umbitch."

/Scene Break/

Umbitch's office with attached quarters:

I knocked and heard that sickly sweet voice and then entering to see the toad faced oinker. It just made you want to jump off the Astronomy tower to escape. Neville was across the room scratching away with a quill and she provided one for me also. I had done a number of documents with the Goblin and their favorite quill was a blood quill. Use of a blood quill was very illegal except for legal documents.

"Well what are you waiting for dear, start writing 'I must not tell lies' until I tell you to stop." I was sitting near her desk in an old fashion students chair which had a semi-desk attached. I smiled and all of a sudden like magic the quill caught on fire.

"Oh Morgana, will you look at that!" I said with total surprise on my face.

The quill lit, and when I dropped it, the mini-desk caught fire, then it jumped to Umbitch's desk and then to her pink curtains. Neville being no fool ran for it, but Umbitch tried to put out the fire with an 'Aguamenti' charm. What a pathetic attempt at a charm I thought. Umbridge then decided to make her escape, slamming the door and using a 'Colloportus' spell to seal the door. I was so happy that she protected her students first that, well, it just burnt me up. I changed into my Phoenix form and flamed at sun power through the class room and her attached quarters.

~"Where are you dear?"

~"I'm still watching McGonagall yell at Dumdum." Foxy giggled.

~"Be right there don't let anyone leave."

I flamed to the front door of Dumbledore's office and knocked.

"Enter" I heard and did so.

"Professor McGonagall I wish for you to call Amelia there has been an incident." I demanded.

"Now I don't think that will be necessary as…" Neville came charging into the room. "Albus there…" he stopped upon seeing me.

A few minutes later Amelia 'floe'd' into the office with two Aurors.

"Amelia I think this is a little much over a distraught student." Albus twinkled.

"Not happening Dumbledore if Harry calls it serious it is not distraught." Amelia was saying when in charged a panting Umbitch.

The screaming started left right and centre. "BOOM!" Dumbledore wand spoke.

"Now let us discuss this with calm and decorum." Dumbledore twinkled.

"I demand that you arrest this miscreant…" Umbitch was silenced by Amelia with a wave of her wand.

"I am here at the request of Lord Harry Potter so I wish to hear why he has called the DMLE."

"Thank you Madam Bones, I was assigned detention as a school matter with Umbitch…" Umbitch was turning red trying to reply.

"Now Harry that is Professor Umbridge." Dumdum automatically added.

"As I was saying Umbitch here directed me to write 'I will not tell lies' with a blood quill, which you know is quite illegal. Some how, maybe accidental magic, the quill caught fire and it spread. Umbitch fled but sealed the door so that I was unable to leave." I explained and turned to Dumbledork, "AND for the last time idiot, when you address me, it Lord Potter!"

Amelia then un-silenced Umbitch who immediately went into a tirade and that she was a Professor, Undersecretary and an adult. "That this lying brat tried to set fire to me and did incinerate my office. She then tried to attack Harry physically which Amelia slowed down with a simple 'impedimenta'.

"Can you prove any of your statements Harry?" Amelia asked.

"Not really, all I can say was Neville was in the room to start with."

Everyone turned to Neville and with a sheepish smile brought out the quill he was required to use, a blood quill.

The Aurors carted off a screaming Umbitch and a few statements later we were back in our quarters. The rewards and stress release from Foxy was quite erotic.

The Dailey Profit at breakfast the next morning was depressing. I was a spoiled brat attacking teachers etc, etc.

~"You know Foxy its sometimes not worth getting out of bed in the morning."

~"Well you could have stayed and paid me more attention." Foxy purred in a sexy way.