Here's the next chapter! Enjoy! I do not own Mockingjay.
Ch. 10
I didn't dream in my sleep. Not one mention of the scary world that was my life or a visit from my dead family. I guess it shows progress. That's what my doctor said anyways when I told him about it. He said that the venom is almost completely out of my system and that I should expect more freedom in the weeks to come.
It had already started; I didn't have restraints anymore. Well at least when I was in the room by myself. Once some one came in they were fastened back on, they weren't ready to be choked out like I had done to a certain someone before.
I did feel change and more control over my thoughts. I didn't specifically think of Katniss as a mutt anymore. I more thought of her as someone I never should have given my heart to. She hurt me; I knew that. She hurt me a lot. I remember the months after the first Games in little pieces. The nightmares, the hours of painting, the loneliness. Everything she had done to me was irreparable.
I do remember, that night we were coming home. When the train had stopped and we went on a walk. I do partially remember my feelings when she had told me. Feeling as if I had been trampled on by a million elephants. I took her back even though she had done that to me. I must've loved her a lot.
"Peeta? Haymitch is here. Are you ready?" One of the doctors walks in and begins to strap me back into my restraints.
"Yeah." I say to him and wait for him to leave so my mentor can come in. "Hey?" I call out before he leaves.
"Yes, Mr. Mellark?" He turns back around to face me.
"Can you tell them to give us privacy?" He looks at me like an innocent child. Of course they'd never give me privacy. I was too dangerous. "Please? I won't hurt him. I just, for one second I don't want to be watched." I know it won't happen, but I had to try.
"I'll ask." He tries to look hopeful, but I know and he knows, it's not going to happen. He leaves and a couple seconds later I watch my alcoholic mentor walk in. This time though, contradicting so many of my distorted memories, he isn't drunk. I wonder if I had made that part up or if maybe he's changing.
"Peeta." He says in a greeting and drops down into the chair beside my bed. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"Part of this is your fault." I didn't want to beat around the bush. I wanted to get right down to it. He doesn't look surprised that I say it. His expression stays placid as he stares straight ahead. Not at me or even near me, just out the double sided mirror as if he could see the doctors behind it.
"I know. But not really. I didn't decide all of it." He still doesn't look at me and for a second I think of him as a coward. A down right coward, but I know he's not. Deep down inside of me I know this man sitting before me is nowhere near being a coward.
"You could have told me. I could have stayed with her. It didn't have to happen like this. Just take responsibility." I try to sit up farther to prove my point, but the restrains hold me back.
He looks apologetic for a second, but then anger crosses his face and that's when he looks at me, "You think I haven't? You think I don't go around each day feeling horrible because I didn't do my job? Listen, boy, I feel horrible. I made a promise to myself that I would die before the Capitol did any type of this thing to you or Katniss! It makes me sick and I see you and her and I can't…" The anger empties from his mouth with each and every word until finally he can't find it in him to speak anymore. "Peeta. I know. Was there anything else?" He begins to get up, but I want him to stay longer.
"How long did you know about the plan?" I ask. Completely curious, maybe things might be different if I had known.
"Long enough." He lets out.
"How's Annie? Johanna?" I ask. I do remember the weekly meetings we would have together. I wonder if Annie finally got back to Finnick.
"They're fine. Better than you. Annie and Finnick are getting married soon actually." He says. I don't say anything after that and after a while Haymitch gets up and leaves. It was nice having somebody that wasn't a doctor to talk to, but I felt as if he was a complete stranger.
It's probably an hour later when I hear the doctor talking to me through the speaker system. "Peeta. Delly Cartwright is here. She wants to talk to you and she wants to show you something."
A few seconds later Delly walks through the door a huge painting in her hands and her coarse blonde hair down at her shoulders, but she doesn't hold my attention for long. The painting is familiar and I know my hand did it.
It shows a girl with a brown braid falling down her back and man holding her hand with strong arms. The couple was strong no doubt, and it took both of them to stay whole. In front of them children play in a field with the sun shining bright in the distance. The painting shows hope, love, compassion, everything that I would wish for in a perfect life.
If you look close enough you can see that the man has half of his head blonde and the other brown. I wonder why I would do such a thing and what I was thinking as I painted this masterpiece.
"You told me to save it for you." Says Delly as I try to take the whole painting in at once, "So, I did."
If you didn't read Rekindled Fire, that painting was part of it. So, yeah...
Don't forget to REVIEW on the way out! Thanks! ~boywithbreadlover