Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek Voyager, I do however own this plot and the original characters.
Naomi Wildman was not a damsel in distress, she was not.
It had been a few days and Naomi knew that she had to do something about the strain between her and the stubborn Brunali Captain, and soon. Unfortunately, she wasn't exactly sure what to do about it without it becoming inappropriate or too much of a distraction. While she hated herself for keeping her distance from him, she knew that the success of the mission, not to mention the security of their blossoming careers as well, it all relied on their focus.
This wasn't just about keeping away from each other because of the protocols in the way either. It was amazing how easy it was to make a mistake when handling the delicate mechanics of the neutrino field and quantum mechanics. As such, for the moment she needed to get through her day without vivid memories from her troublesome dreams or simply getting distracted and scolded while working.
"Cadet Wildman." Naomi paused at the door to Sickbay, cringing slightly, seeing one of the doctor's nurses. She relaxed when the older woman didn't seem annoyed at seeing her again that week. "You're becoming a regular. Greg is in his office, go on in," the middle-aged woman said, no questions asked and smiling kindly.
Naomi relaxed and smiled back. "Thank you," she replied, relieved that she wouldn't be investigated, at least by her. She moved to the doctor's office, hearing the usual cheerful humming as she approached.
Doctor Gregory Zimmerman's brow lifted when he saw his regular visitor. "Ah, Ms. Wildman. I may have to start charging you for my services," he mentioned jokingly before leveling her with an almost paternal scrutiny. "Am I to assume you're here for another sedative?"
Naomi squirmed slightly, realizing how it sounded. It wasn't like she desperately needed the extra help, but sometimes her repressed feelings for Icheb sought revenge on her while she slept and kept her up at night. Simple calming tea wasn't enough. "Yes, doctor," Naomi nodded without a more elaborate explanation, leaning against his desk while he typed away. As many times before, Naomi was struck by memory, remembering many times before leaning against or sitting on top of the doctor's desk, watching him work as she waited for him to start their classes. Sickbay had seemed so much bigger then.
The doctor paused his report and turned to her, giving her a look of worry. "Naomi," he began softly. "If something is bothering you, more than just the stress over your work, you should really tell me. If it effects your duties-"
"-It doesn't. I can get my work done," Naomi interrupted him shaking her head, not wanting this to become more of an issue. While sure, her dreams distracted her, Naomi had enough work to do that she could reassert her focus if she willed herself to do so, but it was still distracting enough for her to find it annoying enough to seek help.
"In that case, aside from the fact that I am a fully functional counselor as well as a spectacular doctor, I'm also your friend and concerned over how many times you seek help for this. I really wish you would open up to me," the doctor's shoulders dropped slightly.
Naomi tried not to let him get to her, knowing he was probably doing that on purpose. "I know, and I'm sorry I'm making you worry over me," she sighed, figuring she could let him in on it just a little. "...I've been..." she hesitated, unsure then of how his new and improved regulation subroutines would handle her problem. "I'm having intense dreams-"
"Are they perhaps nightmares? Certain dreams can mean many things, physical ailments, mental struggles, you may even dream of losing your teeth if you're holding too many secrets. There are many reasons why we dream. Would you like to talk about them? It helps, you know," the doctor interrupted, going into full counselor mode, eager to help her.
"No no, calm down, they're not nightmares," Naomi insisted, taking a step back from the desk at the force of his enthusiasm to help. Apparently his subroutines still needed a little adjustment. "They're just... intense dreams that I'd really rather not have to think about while I'm trying to work," she assured him again. She had thought about lying, telling him that it was worry over the Borg, but didn't feel right about lying to his face like that.
"Alright, Naomi, I'll give you another dose. However, I will advise you to think about talking about your dreams some time soon. If you keep things bottled up like that too long it may cause more harm than good."
'Don't I know it,' Naomi thought dryly. "Thank you, Greg," she said with a friendly smile, seeing the pleased look in his eyes at the use of his name. Naomi left the office feeling relieved that he didn't force any further information out of her.
Elsewhere, in Icheb's new office, the former Borg sat with the former Voyager Captain, reviewing reports of the day with her. "Analysis of the re-ignition site is promising and B'elanna tells me the device is nearly flawless, though of course she still wants to run more tests. It's still a prototype so it could still fail, but that was always a risk," Kathryn smiled.
"Yes. I've gotten similar reports suggesting the stability of the project is sound," Icheb nodded. "But there is always a chance there could be problems after we initialize it."
"Do you mean the Borg? You think they could be waiting for us?"
"No, I don't believe the Borg would choose the same location to attack," Icheb told her with a shake of his head. He at least hoped not.
"But it is a possibility, right?" Kathryn questioned. "The reports from the Delta Quadrant don't say exactly where they are stirring, only that they are. Would it not be wise to assume they would be trying to salvage their transwarp conduit hive and find out our testing location through it?"
"...A possibility," Icheb agreed. "Speculation isn't going to help us move forward with this though, is it?"
"You sound a little like Tuvok," Kathryn smirked.
"I'll take that as a compliment," Icheb smiled back. "Remember that I was only part of the Borg in the maturation chambers, and very limited time on a damaged cube. I can tell you what the Borg fed me while I was there, but aside from that I really couldn't tell you what the Queen has planned," he told her, rubbing his PADD in his hand, trying to distract himself from the familiar feeling of inadequacy.
"If the time comes when we have to face them again-"
"When," Icheb corrected.
"...When the time comes. I'm confident you'll help pull us through whatever she throws at us," Kathryn pat the young Captain on the shoulder. "And if not-" Kathryn shrugged, "-we've beaten her before, we'll beat her again."
Icheb was silent for a while, staring at the report in his hand without seeing it. Part of him wished Seven was there to help them with whatever Borg problems they could encounter, not trusting himself to be able to be as efficient a help as she could be. "Kate, I have a confession to make..." he began. Kathryn said nothing, just turned in her seat to listen closely. "Ever since you rescued me, I've had the fear of not being in control of my life. I was taken by the Borg when I was little, orchestrated by my parents who gave me no choice, and then with the limited time I had as a Borg I lost the ability to bring order and it was taken from me. I don't feel like I'll have control over this mission..."
"Is that why you did everything to prove yourself in the academy? And why you felt like you couldn't take this mission?" Kathryn asked gently.
"Yes," Icheb admitted. "I thought I had gotten over the fear of loss of control, but I suppose it is still in me."
"Every Captain in every century has gone through the same thing, Icheb," Kathryn began. "Every Captain has gone through fearing they would not be obeyed, fearing mutiny, fearing plans not working out, self doubt. Everything you're feeling is completely natural. Especially for a new Captain. Icheb, you can't control every aspect of life, or the people that serve with you, that's just unrealistic. But, maybe your experience on the cube served to help you understand that better as an adult, wouldn't you agree?"
"I... suppose not having everything go according to plan but making the best of what I had has helped me get through tough situations," Icheb agreed.
"Like when Seven's cortical node wasn't working? You weren't in control of that situation and we adults didn't listen to you... but you used whatever means you had to you and made us listen. You took control over a situation that the rest of us thought was hopeless."
"I guess you're right," Icheb smiled wider. "Kate, thank you. I needed to hear that I could do this. I suppose I just need to have more faith in myself," Icheb nodded to himself. "I'm very pleased you're here."
"I'm proud to be here helping you become the Captain I know you can be," Kathryn grinned, touched by his sentiment. Later that night, when his duties were over for the day, in an effort to distract himself Icheb chose to scour the length of the ship from stem to stern. It wasn't like he was feeling the sudden need to know his ship from its new light fixtures to the sleek new designs of the corridors, though it wasn't such a bad idea either.
Truth be told though, his mind was not just occupied with his self doubt or worries over hidden enemies either; no, half of his mind was occupied by his decision to bring his old friend onto the mission with him. He was completely justified he knew, just by the effort she put in daily to finely tune the scans showed the wisdom in his choice, sure, but it was also a never-ending struggle to keep himself away from her. Their moment in the lab had stirred in him the deep seeded craving he had previously relegated solely to his dreams. It escaped him and now it took everything, including his impressive cybernetic enhanced control, to keep from exploding, doing something he'd regret.
Meanwhile, Naomi looked over the data in front of her and shook her head. "No, that won't work."
"Cadet, don't argue with me. Just apply the correction," Lieutenant Gary Jeremiah sighed, exasperated by his rebellious assignment.
"I'm not going to intentionally sabotage the scan, sir," Naomi insisted.
"Sabotage? I was just trying to save you time! If you would simply listen to a more experienced scientist, you'll-"
Frustrated by the man's arrogance, Naomi interrupted rudely... though she'd argue that she was saving the mission pain and irritation by doing so. "Sir, whatever frequency you're trying to get me to use there just won't be possible with that method," she argued, a stone's toss away from sounding like B'elanna. She and her supervisor, the in her opinion overly self assured, Lieutenant Jeremiah, had spent the last forty minutes trying to find the quickest method that tied the Astrometrics portion of a Tachyon Scan to the Wormhole Device. "Lieutenant, if you would just-"
"Wildman, you may be the top of your class but I've graduated from the academy, majoring in Warp Mechanics before it was a thought in your pretty little head!" the Lieutenant growled.
Naomi stiffened, offended by the man's attitude, though not for the first time. Warp Mechanics wasn't exactly the same thing, but fine. "Whether that's true or not isn't the case in the matter, Lieutenant," she argued. "Please, just let me explain an alternate solution."
"Alright, fine, what is your suggestion then?" Lieutenant Jeremiah prompted.
"While I'm sure you're aware, sir, the Tachyon Scan is meant to detect cloaked ships, right?"
"That's right," Jeremiah crossed his arms, leveling her with an expectant stare.
Naomi leaned against the console, settling in to her element. "Well then you can't simply treat the scan like any other. In this instant you aren't detecting something using the frequency to cloak. The frequency you're trying to use is too high, meant to scan for more tangible objects. If you focus it to here-," Naomi's fingers danced over the console, "-you can narrow the wave to detect subatomic particles consistent with quantum singularities."
The Lieutenant blinked at the screen for a moment, a little speechless that he'd made an error like that and the raw recruit had been able to point it out. "Impressive, Cadet Wildman," he yielded reluctantly. "Where did you learn that?"
"As you know, Tachyon scans can be used to detect natural anomalies like black holes if adjusted properly, but they're a little different than wormholes, right? Voyage was displaced by a Tetryon beam the first time, an enormous wave of a scan that went at it like a plasma storm. I was always curious about it when the story was told to me, so I researched the event-"
"What does that have to do with our scanner?" Jeremiah interrupted.
Giving him that one, since Naomi had interrupted him before, she patiently went on to explain. "I was just about to get to that, sir. I found that the Tetryon scan, while fundamentally different than Tachyons, share some similarities as they both work with subatomic particles. Since Tetryons exist only in subspace, I simply took the basic structure, like this-" Naomi turned back to the console and set out to adjust the band wave to the frequency she explained, "-into a sort of mask that mimics the signature, and applied it to the scanning frequencies," she finished, stepping away for him to examine her adjustment.
The Lieutenant leaned over and looked at the solutions. "I'll be damned," he mentioned in surprise, then turned to smile tentatively at the Cadet. "That's brilliant," he said, reluctantly warming up to the young woman.
Naomi shrugged. "I studied while others partied," was her simple reply.
After a long day of work, and somehow managing to get on her supervisor's good graces, Naomi found herself sitting in her old room in her quarters, brushing her hair. It wasn't exactly something someone would normally do to relax, but in that room, with that brush, watching Neelix's old morning show, it reminded her of years ago. She could just imagine it was her mother brushing her hair. In the end though, Naomi decided she couldn't just sit around, her mind too preoccupied. It was a little too early to sleep and she was feeling restless these days anyway. Deciding to go for a walk, she set off, letting her feet carry her to where they wanted.
As she walked through the corridors, Naomi paused a few times to greet former crew members and new ones alike, happy to be growing her family. Without meaning to, her feet took her on a path she had taken countless times in her youth. She found herself standing in front of a familiar cargo hold. She smiled, shaking her head at the predictable destination she currently found herself at, though she couldn't blame herself as she had spent many times playing or learning in that room. It was as close to her heart as it had been to the people who had resided in it. Coming to the conclusion that she was too curious to see how Starfleet changed the room, she stepped in.
Naomi would have laughed at the situation she found herself in, once again unintentionally finding Icheb again, if she hadn't suddenly felt a great deal of nostalgia, seeing him standing by his old alcove. Evidently Starfleet had decided to keep the Borg technology seemingly untouched, no doubt to make a better effort in studying the technology. Maybe they had forgotten to take it out for the mission? Or maybe they knew something the people on this ship didn't. Either way, Icheb had apparently had a similar inclination to check out old 'hang out spots'.
Figuring he was on a trip down memory himself, Naomi decided to greet him the unconventional way. "Good memories?"
Icheb's head whipped over to look her way, relaxing only slightly when he saw the beauty that often occupied his thoughts. Pushing away his distraction, Icheb smiled wistfully and nodded. "Yes."
Naomi hesitated a moment at the door, unsure whether or not it was safe to be alone with him so much any more. She had little faith that she would be able to stop herself anymore. Taking a breath to calm down, she went in anyway and walked over it him, her eyes glancing over at the Borg tech. "I thought you didn't like being reminded of your time as a Borg?" she asked curiously.
"You're right. It doesn't mean I don't have fond memories of this place though," he revealed, all but stroking his alcove fondly.
Naomi leaned against a crate and regarded him curiously. "Like what?"
Icheb turned to her and thought about it for a moment. "Well for one, I have the majorities of my initial lessons here, my reintroduction to individuality," he began and turned to look back at his alcove thoughtfully. "I learned about myself and about how the close-knit crew operated. I helped the other children here too, with their own growth and their lessons. Yours too," his eyes flicked to her, a little smile playing on his lips.
"We did spend a lot of time here," Naomi agreed, smiling back whimsically.
"Like that time I tried to explain theoretical physics to you," his lips stretched attractively.
"Honestly Icheb, were you trying to completely scare me away with all of that? I was just a kid!" Naomi laughed.
"Even then I saw your aptitude for education. You've always learned quickly; I guess I assumed you'd catch on really quick," he shrugged.
Naomi shook her head, smiling fondly at the memory. "Remember what I told you about your use of big words."
"They don't seem to trouble you so much anymore?" Icheb's brow lifted playfully.
"Well I'm an adult now, Icheb," Naomi scoffed jokingly. "I'm pretty sure I can handle whatever big words you throw at me."
Icheb grinned again, gazing at her with admiration as he walked over. He held his hands behind his back again, though at this point mostly to keep them to himself. "You certainly are an adult," he agreed seriously. "I believe I've mentioned this before, but you've grown into quite a breathtaking one."
Naomi shifted where she stood nervously, seeing the look in his eyes. "I guess," she smiled a little. "Thank you. I suppose you've gotten pretty decent enough with your age too, old man," she grinned, trying to remain playful.
"Old man?" Icheb pulled a face.
"Don't worry, like I said, you're pretty decent to look at," Naomi smirked.
"Just decent?" Icheb challenged, stepping closer. "Your words are damaging," he joked softly, leaning in slightly to her, making her breath catch. "I told you once before I could tell things about people easier than most, right?"
Naomi felt her body heat up from his body language, his confidence. The way he was behaving toward her told her that he wasn't going to let her resist him for long. "From your Borg implants?" she replied, leaning away a little.
"Yes," Icheb nodded slowly. "Do you know what they are telling me now?"
"What?" she asked in a soft voice, captivated by the steady way his body loomed toward her.
"They tell me of the way you're reacting to me right now, how my often... encroaching proximity to you, disproves your less than accurate description," he said, his tone level and collected. "I am much more than 'decent' to you."
Naomi became aware at the provocative intent in his eyes, his purposeful stride, and her inner craving for him to reach her. Going against her own wishes, Naomi whipped away from him before he got too close, before he tempted her to cave in to him again. "However way you may believe I'm... reacting isn't going to make me change my description," she teased back, backing away from him. "You need to be brought down a peg or two anyway," she smiled nervously, her heart speeding as he continued walking over to her with an eerie calm.
"Is that fact?" Icheb's head tilted.
Naomi shivered at the single-minded behavior, knowing if she let him come any closer, all would be lost. She hadn't spent most of the day gaining back her control to let it all slip away just like that! "Yes," Naomi nodded. "But anyway, it's been a long day... I should go. I was just out for a little walk to clear my thoughts before bed," she explained lamely, still backing away from him. A part of Naomi knew she was playing hard to get at that point, but if she were being honest with herself, she liked it.
Icheb stopped and sighed inwardly, wondering if his intent was too forward. "Right, me too," he said quietly, watching her backpedal out the cargo hold doors.
"Oh! Sorry!" Naomi flushed deeply as she bumped into a crew member. Fortunately the crewman was in a hurry and didn't stop to complain to her, merely waved her hand at her to brush the apology away as she went on her way. "I guess I... better actually look where I'm going, right?"
"Definitely a logical conclusion," Icheb's lips tilted up a little, watching her retreat with interest.
"Goodnight, Icheb," Naomi turned and quickly made her way out, inwardly berating herself for behaving like a little school girl. She could tackle pitcher plants ready to devour Voyager, horrifying macro viruses, the gaping maw of space with all its intricate complexities and a mission that was fundamental to the advancement of her studies, not to mention the Federation... and she couldn't behave properly around a boy! Naomi sighed in exasperation.
The next day, Naomi and Icheb attempted to keep things professional once more, deciding things were just too crazy between them if they were on familiar terms. This would be the fifth time they tried in that week alone though. As usual, her self inflicted torment, Naomi did all she could to avoid Icheb when she didn't have to make reports to him. The strain of their distancing was becoming obviously frustrating on Icheb, who long ago gave up fighting their interactions. On many occasions Naomi nearly caved, nearly went to him and gave in to her need for him, but she forced the impulse back, carrying on with her day.
Naomi thought she was home free, until after her afternoon report to the staff. Icheb stopped her before she could leave. "Naomi," he began, his expression unreadable as he studied her for a moment. "If it's agreeable with you, would you have coffee with me this evening?"
"I don't think that's a good idea," she told him warily.
"It's not a good idea for friends to sit down and have a civil conversation over coffee?" Icheb's brow lifted, though his jaw tightened in obvious frustration.
"You know full well we're not simply friends, Icheb," Naomi reminded him dryly.
"What we are is a complete mystery, since you don't let us really be anything," Icheb replied in a stressful inclination. "Naomi, I'm not asking for us to talk about anything that would compromise us... but I do miss just talking with you. If you prefer, you can use it as an opportunity to relate the progress of your analysis to me."
"Alright," Naomi sighed, unable to resist him anymore, worried what that could mean but refusing to think about it.
"Thank you," Icheb inclined his head. "Will this evening at 19:00 work for you?" Naomi agreed and left abruptly. Icheb rested his palms on the conference table, taking deep breaths to contain his frustration. Naomi had told him countless times that he was stubborn, but she was definitely his equal in that matter. He had never met a more infuriating, rebellious, and irresistible woman in his life.
At precisely seven in the evening, Naomi alerted Icheb that she had arrived, having employed her personal set of stealthy techniques to get to his room without anyone noticing. Or so she hoped. When he let her in, she found that he had coffee and cookies waiting for them. Naomi gave him a disbelieving look, but he simply shrugged and smiled, gesturing for her to sit with him. Naomi went over and sat on the long couch, picking her cup up and smiling as she took a drink of it. "How did you know I liked my coffee like this?" she asked him curiously.
Icheb sat near her on the couch and smiled gently. "I have very good memory," he said simply, taking his own up. "I remember what you put in your coffee whenever we would meet at the diner. I remember all of our moments together," he explained, his voice low and inviting.
Naomi shivered at the meaning in his words and forced herself to calm down, to try not to look around his quarters, try not to imagine them doing anything more than having a civil conversation. Whenever she had ever agreed to spending time with him in a relaxed environment, specifically one that included where he slept, such as his apartment, things always got... complicated. "I... I have a report for you, as promised. The... analysis looks promising," she began, trying to keep their meeting as formal as she could.
Icheb studied her for a second, deciding he would play along for now. "That's good," he nodded, staring at his cup of coffee. "B'elanna says they ran every scan and performance test on the wormhole device. She says she's confident they can get it to work with minimal chances of a cascade."
Nomi nodded, relaxing a little. "I ran a frequency synchronizer with the wormhole device and our Tachyon scan today. I haven't completed my preliminary adjustments, but it's looking... promising," she explained, though couldn't seem to keep eye contact with him. "I'll write my report tomorrow afternoon, if I can tweak it to the way I'd like by then."
"I trust you'll use the best judgment with that," Icheb smiled a little. "So we have the device with all systems operational and the scan linked to it will soon be able to take measured readings on the wormhole," Icheb leaned back in his seat. "Promising progress."
"Yeah, it certainly sounds like everything is in order," Naomi agreed tensely. It wasn't like Naomi was uncomfortable being there with him, on the contrary, she was too comfortable, too at home, and too worried over her own restraints around him. Every movement, tone of voice, and subtle hint Icheb gave her told her that he wasn't going to try to keep things business for long... and his next statement just proved it.
"Mostly," Icheb mentioned offhandedly, casting a meaningful look at her.
"What's that?" Naomi asked, pretending she didn't notice the way he was looking at her. "Remember, I'm not enhanced, my hearing isn't as good as yours," she said, trying to keep the mood light and innocent.
"I said everything is in order, mostly. Some things are... questionable," he replied, his gaze still steady where he sat unnervingly patiently on the couch.
Naomi shifted, twisting the cup in her hand to keep her mind focused, unable to keep eye contact with him when he was looking at her that way. She was irritated by his bravado and by her own stubborn resilience toward him. "What do you mean, Icheb? Just say what's on your mind," she told him, feeling herself quickly becoming frustrated.
"I don't think you want to hear what is on my mind, Naomi," he said in a knowing tone.
Naomi knew exactly what he was referring to, her heartbeat flaring in her chest. "Is this is about... us?" she questioned quietly.
"Yes."
The half Ktarian pushed her cup aside and sighed, running her hand through her hair in agitation toward it all. "You know we can't," she said grimly, her eyes still refusing to meet his. "I thought you said we weren't going to talk about anything that would 'compromise' us?" she challenged.
"Why?" He demanded simply, his tone still frustratingly level.
Naomi pressed her lips together, getting more and more flustered. "Why what?"
"Why can't we talk about it?" he asked, his body shifting from his relaxed position and tensing. "Why can't you even look at me?"
Naomi groaned outwardly at his persistence. She ventured to look over at him, giving him a pleading look. "Icheb..."
"Naomi," Icheb sent back almost mockingly, now sounding just as irritated as she was. "Why do we have to resist it?" he insisted, his own frustration making him unintentionally fall back to Borg terminology.
Naomi looked away once more. "You know why," she said glumly, hating herself for being so obstinate, but knowing it was important. "You're the Captain, I'm a Cadet, the mission is very delicate and the ship is very small. If we let it get out of hand it could..."
"Distract us?" Icheb supplied.
"Yes," Naomi nodded slowly, looking at him pleadingly once more.
"That's all it would be, Naomi," he argued firmly. "You don't think I know the risks?"
"I know you do, Icheb," she remedied.
"Why were you willing to risk it yesterday, but not today?" Icheb pressed, referring to their incident in Astrometrics, before Q2 interrupted rudely.
Naomi bit her lip and shook her head. "That... that was a slip. I just... It's bad enough that my dreams-" her eyes widened then. "My... dreams of being an officer," she quickly fixed, almost telling the object of her dreams that he was in fact the object of her rather intimate fantasies.
"What about your dreams of being an officer?" Icheb prompted, his brow lifting in confusion, though thankfully not catching on with Naomi's slip... or so she hoped. "You believe whatever we choose to do will effect your chances?" he asked incredulously.
"Yes! That's exactly what I think," Naomi insisted, getting ahead of herself. "I'm sorry if I come off sounding selfish but... how am I supposed to get through work when all I can... when all I can think about is you?" she admitted suddenly, her breath hitching, face flushing from revealing something so close to how she truly felt for him.
Icheb remained silent for a while, studying her rapidly reddening features. Naomi felt herself tremble when his eyes darkened in a familiar way as he slid closer to her on the couch. "You're not selfish. You occupy my thoughts as well," Icheb murmured, his hand slipping through her red locks to caress her cheek tenderly.
Naomi felt her eyes close on their own for a second, leaning in to his touch, completely drawn in by him. Her handle on the situation was weakening, she realized. "No," she shook her head, leaning away, trying to ignore the hurt look in his handsome features. No, she couldn't give in to him! Not yet, not when they were so close to a breakthrough. "I'm sorry I..." Naomi pulled away from him and stood abruptly, refusing to look at him, knowing she would crack the moment she did. "I think I..." she did not want to leave, she really didn't. "I think I ought to go back to my quarters now. It's getting late," she said quickly, before she changed her mind. If she stayed, they would either explode at each other again or rip each others clothes off. As appealing as the second risk sounded, tomorrow was another full day of work and they were very close to finalizing the project.
Icheb stood as well, moving quickly in front of his door. "Naomi, we need to do something about this," he insisted, using his size to block her retreat.
Naomi knew he was right, had been wrestling with that since he asked her over, but him bringing it up just made it all real. If they did anything about it, it could ruin the 'progress' they made in keeping things professional for the duration of the mission. "There's nothing we can do right now! I wish..." Naomi shook her head, she couldn't tell him how much she wished they could, it would break her already severely weakened resolve. "We need to think about the mission, we just... can't right now."
"You know we can," Icheb told her, as he walked toward her, forcing her to back up away from the door while trying to reach her rationally. "As I said, I know the risks. I thought this over. I'm not a fool, you know."
Nearly caving in to him, Naomi pulled all her remaining stops. "I never said you were a fool, but look, it would be more than a risk! If one of the officers who were a little more strict with regulations caught us... together, the consequences..." Naomi shook her head, refusing to think of how bad things could get for them. "Icheb, please... don't... don't make this any more difficult than it is," she turned, fully intended on leaving his quarters before it was too late. "It's better for the mission that... that nothing happen between us."
"The mission..." Icheb muttered resentfully. Half a year, six months, probably more, and he had reached his breaking point. "Not this time, not again," Icheb growled, his hand latching onto her arm before she could move too far from him. Being careful not to hurt her, Icheb pulled her back to him again. "I'm not letting you decide this for us again." While he did not grip her, he rested his hands on her arms, holding her close to him.
Naomi didn't even struggle against his hold, her heart betraying her, overruling her mind once again. Part of her wanted him to stop her, wanted something to happen between them, but she was afraid of those powerful impulses. "What are you doing? Let go!" she protested halfheartedly, though made no move to step away from his loose embrace.
"No. Not until you tell me you want this too," he argued simply.
"Icheb. For once in your life, stop being so stubborn!"
"For once in your life, stop running away!"
"I... I can't tell you what you want to hear," Naomi refused to look at him again, his ever expressive eyes intense with too many emotions she recognized. How could they ever be able to focus on their duties if they gave in? How could they concentrate of the mission if all they could think of was each other? That wasn't even taking in to account how at risk they would be at being caught, as she had mentioned, there were a lot of new by the book crew members on board.
Icheb had absolutely no intention of letting her run from this however, could see her chewing on her lip, thinking of how to get out of this, even as her heart betrayed her, giving him free reign. If she couldn't tell him how much she wanted this too... Icheb took her chin in his hand, gently lifting her head to look at him. "Then show me," he said simply, leaning in slowly, his half-lidded eyes trained on her trembling delicate lips.
"Show you?" Naomi questioned half coherently as he drew closer to her. The familiar torrid swelter from his dangerous body encompassed her, shrouding her with an almost physical representation of his inescapable fervor for her. Like many times before, Naomi shivered at the intensity, but was unable to move away. How could she? How could she reject such an impossible drug? His very whim compelled her to him and she simply could not fight it anymore.
"Show me," the ex Borg repeated, drawing his arms around her, pulling her against him in a lover's embrace, sliding his hand over her cheek, not allowing her to escape. Time slowed to a crawl, both of them expecting to be suddenly interrupted again... but nothing was going to keep them from this, this time. Leaning in, Naomi's breath escaped her as her world filled entirely with Icheb's soft lips upon her's. If she were the type, Naomi would have sworn she had lost every bone in her body.
The second his mouth sought hers, lips slipping, teeth grazing, the deep seeded twisting spring that held them apart for so long fractured irreparably. And then, it was as though a surging spring of resonating electricity wove through them, entangling the very fibers of their souls as they gave in to each other. Before they could lose themselves completely in the moment however, Icheb pulled away abruptly, his eyes boring into her's. "Do not try to deny feeling this. Would you really still ignore it?"
Naomi stared at him for a moment, wrestling with the decision, fighting herself. In the end, against her better judgment, she knew he was right; they couldn't run from it and she couldn't deny it. She knew how much she wanted to be with him. "No, I can't ignore it," she told him finally, and pulled him back to her.
As they collided with each other again, the insufferable need they had felt for over half a year completely dominated their compulsions, sending them careening against the nearby wall. Naomi had thought feeling him against her had been amazing, feeling his heat, his hands on her body was euphoric, but feeling his tongue slip into her mouth? Tasting him, feeling him explore her with intense urgency?
Naomi moaned into the kiss breathlessly, feeling his tongue slip over her own before stroking the roof of her mouth, all the while his soft lips caressed over hers. Her senses were overloaded, his hands, his body, his heat, his taste. Icheb was everywhere and it was everything she could do to get ahold of herself. Holy hell, the man could kiss. The feel of his sensual mouth dominating hers made delicious heat pool between her legs and it was all she could do to not lose control.
In his impatience, Icheb's hands were everywhere, searching, pulling, tugging her uniform bottom to his body as he settled them against the wall. Desperate, propulsive asphyxiating demand for each other would not be denied this time. Icheb's only focus was on Naomi, pressing her back against the bulkhead firmly as he coveted her hot mouth with the desperation of a starving man. Tight coursing urgency threatened to make him mad, shuddering in delirium as she tugged on him roughly, her own craving unable to be satisfied.
Naomi felt his restraint, felt his shivering aching control to be free. Their impossible appetite forced them to cling to each other like life-lines, drowning in a sea of ravenous voracity. Icheb groaned into the kiss, felt her teeth graze the bottom of his lip, felt her leg slide up his until she wrapped it around him and was tugging at his hips suggestively, pulling him by his uniform at the same time. Icheb slipped, pressing her harder against the wall, their hips pushing into each other. Icheb rested his hands on either side of her as his body responded to her call.
Naomi drew her fingers through his hair, gripping his locks, craving more. Icheb answered, their lips parting only for a second for much needed breath, quickly returning seconds later only to deplete their oxygen from their lungs again. His glorious tongue returned to its rightful spot, sliding between her lips, tasting her, making her ache for more. She couldn't get enough. One solid, agonizing grind of his hips, of his muscled frame into her, instinct domineering Icheb's actions, and she nearly cried his name. The heat of pleasure coursed through her, drumming between her legs. It was enough to send them both violently shuddering as an impossible cascade of ecstasy assaulted their tender senses. The pent up inferno made them tremble with the undeniable force.
Icheb's breath left him and Naomi's body convulsed, the surprise of the pleasure it awakened in them making her buck against him instinctively. Naomi let out a breath, her leg around his tightening, pulling at his hip while her hand gripped his shoulder tightly, not knowing whether or not she wanted him to do that again. The sudden demanding need to feel his firm erection against her aching core was maddening, needing the added friction to quiet her growing swelter, but he was stubbornly keeping himself restrained.
Icheb fought with himself, but the kiss was drowning out his senses, the feel of her lithe, sensual body was making him lose his mind. Another slow, sharp thrust, his hips pushing her into the wall, nearly lifting her off the ground in his enthusiasm made them moan deep into the kiss. The impossibly addicting friction did its job and Icheb was suddenly overcome, unable to keep his normally locked down effects at his control. The power of his unrestrained arousal was enough to make him groan in pain, but he held still, unwilling to make a dishonorable man out of himself.
As contradicting as it had been to his earlier desperation for Naomi to stop resisting them, Icheb was the one to halt them. Stop them before they tore their clothes off then and there. His entire body screamed at him from the restraint, his throbbing need painfully compressed. He forcefully silenced his overpowering rage for more and ceased his movements, shaking with the effort. "Why...?" Naomi gasped as their mouths wrenched apart suddenly, her mental faculties not all working from their frenzied submission to their base need for each other.
"You... Naomi, we can't..." Icheb shuddered again, unable to properly word what it was he wanted to warn her about, even so he could not stop himself from pressing into her a little harder, moaning and berating himself for being masochist. Naomi arched against him from the intoxicating feel of him, but respected his need to stop, despite her mind screaming at him for doing so.
Oh Naomi was well aware what he was trying to warn her about, could feel the pretty substantial problem pressing firmly against her thigh. The feel of him against her was just what she had been craving and it excited her to an immeasurable degree. She wanted so badly to reach for him, make him forget his resolve to stop them again, before it got out of hand. Naomi bit back a frustrated moan, resisting the inclination to apply just a little bit of persuading pressure against him, but she couldn't do that to him. "Before it's too late..." he amended.
"Icheb, if you're telling me that you want me to leave, after forcing me to give in to you... I will knee you so hard you'll wish the Borg removed all of your irrelevant parts," Naomi growled, doing everything she could to ignore the deep aching desire within her he had spurred to life from his actions, mercilessly slipping away.
"Naomi..." his voice was strained, his knuckles on the bulkhead behind her crushing into it as his head hung, visibly trying to hold himself back. "You need to."
"What if I don't want to leave, Icheb?" Naomi stubbornly retorted in frustration, irritated that he would pull her into this agonizing realm of pleasure with him and then simply stop. She had been so firm about not starting this, had known this would happen, but God help her, she found him nearly impossible to resist. "What if I wanted to stay with you tonight?" she challenged him, trying to ignore the tormenting pleasure of being so close to him, so locked in their intimate embrace, and unable to do more about it. She knew she was being cruel and unreasonable, but damn it, this was becoming ridiculous.
Icheb rested his forehead on her shoulder, nearly panting from his effort to not give in. He wanted nothing more than to ignore his suddenly resurrected chivalry and pull her to his bed, show her how much she drove him crazy and make her as unreasonably distracted for the rest of the mission as she feared she'd become. Icheb's body rebelled against his refusal to her, but an irritating fleeting sense of moral duty remained in him still. "Don't tempt me, Naomi, please... " he said, his breath leaving him in a shudder. "I'm sorry I forced you into this... I'm sorry."
Naomi heard what he was trying to say between the lines, and her heart clenched for him, loving him all over again. He wasn't just sorry for arousing them nearly to the point of pain, but for starting this in the first place. "Icheb, I'm tired of this..." Naomi told him softly, her cheek resting against his head, her hand stroked his short hair soothingly, lovingly. "You're going to give me emotional whiplash. You said it yourself... it's so hard to fight..."
"I know," he mumbled against her. "I'm sorry," he said again.
"I'm not."
Icheb heard her tone and winced. "Naomi, I'm-"
"-I'll see you tomorrow, Captain," Naomi deadpanned, slipping under his arms and out of his quarters before she could change her mind.
Icheb stood there a moment longer before angrily slamming his fist against the bulkhead in agitation. Why was he such an impulsive idiot? Crashing against the wall, Icheb made his way to the bathroom with a struggle. He knew a simple 'cold shower' even if he programmed his sonic shower for it, would not help him tonight. This was not the first time he would have to use traditional methods in alleviating himself of his tortuous thoughts of her, he just wished he didn't have to resort to it.
Naomi took her sedative, as well as used every calming technique, remedy, and myth she could think of. Angry at him, at herself, and at the stupid mission. She knew she would regret thinking the things she did about it all later, but for now she was too enraged with the universe to care.
The next day, Naomi unintentionally impressed Lieutenant Jeremiah again with the effort she put in, throwing herself into her work with everything she had.
Damn him!
TBC...
End A/N: Ugh seriously, Icheb, make your damn mind up! I'm going for realism this time. Also, long chapter is long! I thought this was going to be a short one, lol! Parts of this chapter influenced by the song "Show Me" by Alina Baraz & Galimatias. It almost perfectly reflects both of their feelings, both the singers singing to each other about their desire for each other. Kind of perfect. Title of the song completely unrelated to dialogue in the story, it was entirely coincidental.
Shout Outs
The Cheshire Cheese: I'm glad you did. I've been fond of that character since his introduction in Voyager. I felt the story wouldn't be complete without him! If you want to draw an illustration, go for it!