Thank you everyone who reviewed and added this fic to their alerts/favs list. Also, thank you for voting Dear Maggie as TLS's Fic of the Week again. I am beyond shocked by this!

Speaking of FotW, I probably have, hands down, the best prereaders ever. Stephk0525 and twilover76 took the time to write the review for Dear Maggie. I loves you guys, and claireoth too :)

Thanks to my beta, Stratan, for getting this back to me, despite his hectic, busy life.

There's a lemon ahead, and I'm being really weird about it. *hides*

Chapter 34

Edward

A low whistle sounded from behind me. I spun around, still half soaked from the rain, and spotted the chief examining Bella's truck closely.

"Man, she looks good," he said to himself as he ran his hand over the left fender. And then he turned his attention to me. "Jake seen her yet?"

I shook my head.

"He'll be impressed. Hell, I'm impressed," he complimented. "Who knew some doctor-wannabe had this in him."

"My brother helped some," I replied, hoping to deflect some of that attention away from me.

He stared at me for a moment before letting it go. "Where are you keeping her?"

"Emmett offered to let us park it in the corner over there," I replied, pointing to the designated spot. "He'll cover it up for us until Bella comes home for the summer."

Charlie nodded. "Since we're talking about her, Bella and I had an interesting conversation yesterday."

I fought the urge to fidget nervously with that. "And?"

He reached inside his coat and handed me a folded manila envelope. "Think you should have a little more info before you go."

Chicago, I finally realized. Bella had been telling him about Chicago.

"I booked a hotel. Haven't bought the plane tickets yet, though."

His brow rose. "Is that so."

"Bella doesn't know. It's not like I'm keeping it from her. I just..."

"You just what?" he prompted.

"I have mixed emotions about it."

He waited. Suddenly, I felt like I was talking to Dr. Banner instead of Bella's father.

And maybe that was what made him such a good cop: he made it so that you had this strange need to purge your secrets to him.

"I left some nasty fucking people there," I told him, my cheeks heating up with the slip of tongue. "People that think I'm dead." Closer he came, and I found myself rooted to the spot.

Christ, the man could be intimidating as fuck, especially where Bella was concerned.

"Now why would they think you're dead?"

"Maybe because they're the ones who left me in that alley to die after they shot me?" I answered bitterly, surprising him.

"That might do it," he agreed. He watched me for a few seconds, searching for God only knew what, and then, "This have anything to do with your record being so perfect?"

"Yes and no. My record's perfect because I was good at weaseling out of shit." I spotted an old red BIC of mine sitting on top of the tool box and grabbed it, flicked at the flint, needing something to do with my hands while I explained. "It's also perfect because my parents made it so that I was untraceable."

"I'd make a joke about hanging with the wrong crowd, but that seems a little obvious after all I already know."

His voice was teasing, but his face... Fuck, he was demanding an answer.

And I found I was suddenly too goddamned tired to hide it all.

"Thanks to Elizabeth and her drug problem, you could say it was something like that. She dropped me off at her dealer's house. He said she owed him more cash than she could come up with but for whatever reason wanted to leave town for a while. I was... the price of freedom."

"Jesus," he murmured.

A distressed sound came out of me. "Yep. He showed me everything. Took me under his wing..."

"Groomed you."

I nodded. "The other guys didn't like some kid coming in and taking what they wanted. I didn't want it, any of it, but they didn't care. Once, they beat me so bad I could barely move or fucking breathe. That didn't happen again after Aro found out. So they hit me in less noticeable places, places that still hurt like hell. You ever been body punched, Chief Swan?"

He shook his head, a quick, jerky movement.

"Be thankful. Pissing blood because some asshole rammed his boot in your side just a little too hard is not exactly a pleasant experience." I huffed, and then continued. "One guy put a knife to my throat and shoved me up against the wall. I- The way that knife felt digging into my skin... How I shook... What he said..."

I stopped talking, because I knew if I kept releasing all this pent up shit I'd panic.

And I'd be damned if I let Charlie Swan see me that way.

Another punch of my thumb, and a flame rose from the lighter. I watched it, entranced in the way it flickered and wavered with the circulation of air in the garage. And then I let go and tossed it aside, determined to get back to the original topic of conversation.

"I don't know how many days I'll be there or where exactly she is yet," I said quietly. "Someone could recognize me, and then-"

I swallowed hard.

"You worry about Bella being around all of that," he surmised.

"Yes," I breathed out. "I need her there, though, sir. I don't... I don't think I can make it through all of it without her."

"I don't think you give yourself enough credit."

I blinked at him.

"After everything you just told me? How can you question it?"

I gave him a half-hearted shrug.

"Listen to me, Edward. I like you. I do. But that's not why I'm saying this to you. I'm saying this because my daughter saw something in you that none of us could at first. And if there's anything I've learned in the last few years, it's how smart that girl is. How... right she always is. All those surgeries and the time she spent waiting on the transplant list taught her so much about herself and what she wants with this second chance she's been given. You're what she wants, Edward; a life with you. She knew from the second you let her in." He stared off at the door for a moment before taking in a sharp breath and continuing.

"Her mother doesn't see it. I think she's too blinded by her love for her and how much she wants to protect her from anything else that could go wrong. That includes you."

"I noticed," I murmured dryly.

The chief chuckled. "You certainly pissed her off."

"Wasn't my intention," I responded honestly.

"She knows that, son. But Bella is a lot like her mother that way. Renee's always right. She's perceptive. You've thrown her for a loop."

"What do you mean?"

"There are so many statistics you could have become. But somehow, you're different. Driven to be something else. Loyal to the family that took you in when you were an angry kid. And that's what makes you good for our daughter."

My eyes widened slightly.

"So back to the original subject. Bella will be there for you no matter what. She'll support you, love you, give anything she can to you - unapologetically - because that's just who she is."

Son of a bitch, I felt like my throat had closed up.

I coughed awkwardly and managed to get out, "Yeah. I know. I still don't think I deserve her."

"You remember me saying you never would?"

I nodded tersely.

"That's what I was trying to get at. I think I might have been wrong."

My eyes snapped to his in shock.

Another laugh rolled out of his chest with my reaction. "You give something back to my girl, Edward, and I won't just think it. I'll know it."

"Like what?" I wondered out loud. "What could I possibly give her that could measure up to what she's given me? She's given me my life back. Nothing I can think of even comes close."

"Your strength," he answered. "Show her you can overcome something like this on your own and still make it back to her. Because that's her biggest fear, you know. It's not death or sickness or another surgery that scares her. It's you walking away from her. You letting all of that stuff in Chicago win."

I reached up and pulled at my hair, droplets of leftover rain splattering the envelope in my other hand. "But I've told her. I'll never leave her side again."

"Then prove it."

I let Bella rifle through the paperwork Chief Swan had given me, not really sure I was able to read the details yet. Which was stupid. I was ready enough to plan a trip back to fucking Illinois; why couldn't I read up on what I wanted to hear from Elizabeth's lips anyway?

Fuck, I was confused. And it'd been a months since I'd felt that way; it'd been since I realized how much I wanted to be with Bella and decided to mold myself into some kind of decent person for her.

Even after all this time, I still hated it.

"Ok," she said, puffing out a little gust of air as she took stock of what was in her hands. "There's more information about the time Maggie lived in foster care-"

Seemed like an easy place to start, so I hurried and interrupted Bella before she could finish listing everything off. "What's it say?"

"Uh..." Her eyes scanned the pages quickly. "Maggie lived with a foster family for the six months before the Carrs adopted her. Looks like she managed to get a decent one, so there's that."

"One that wasn't in it for the money," I deduced.

"You're probably not going to like me saying it, but she got lucky."

"Of course she did," I snarled. I took a deep breath and gave her an apologetic look. "Sorry."

She nodded and moved on. "What else is there...? Detailed medical records of your father's illness, your parent's divorce decree..."

"What the hell do I need to read the divorce decree for?"

She shrugged. "Beats me. Want to see it?"

I waved the paperwork in her outstretched hand off. "Maybe later."

"Hey, there's a deed," she said suddenly. "Your mom and dad owned a lake house together when they were married. Says here that your mom kept it after your dad died."

"What the fuck? He divorced her but left a house in both of their names? Christ, that makes no sense at all. Isn't the whole point of divorce to separate your life from your ex's?"

"Well, maybe the reason why is in the divorce papers."

"Maybe."

"But whatever it was, she never sold it. Not even after you were adopted. It says she still owns it."

"Does she fucking live there?"

Bella shook her head. "No, her current address is still in Chicago."

I swiped the paper out of her hand and sneered as I read it. "Still living in the shithole, I see."

"The shithole?" she asked, her eyes growing wider by the second.

"The one and only," I bit out.

"Why?"

"Why not? Not like she ever really had any ambition to do anything but get high."

"She could have cleaned up."

I glowered at her.

"What? I may hate the woman but even I have to be realistic about it. You haven't seen her since you were twelve. That's eleven years, Edward. A lot can happen during that time."

Abruptly, I didn't want to discuss anything involving my biological parents or Chicago. There was no rhyme or reason why; I was simply sick of it consuming every moment of my time lately, so I moved over to the bed, took the paperwork out of Bella's hands, and set it aside before stepping in between her legs and framing her face with my hands.

"What?" she whispered, those dark gypsy eyes piercing through me, trying to find out what the sudden change in demeanor in me was about. "What do you need?"

"You," I said honestly, leaning down to close the distance between us, to take her mouth with mine and remind myself of how good my life had become. "I need you."

Lips brushed together as she whispered, "Then take me."

My tongue slid over hers as her hands slipped between us, coming up under my shirt and running over my torso. She found the fabric and fisted, tugged; I pulled away and let her bring it up over my shoulders and drop it to the floor.

The way she looked at me, sucking her lip in between her teeth as her eyes roamed over me, made warmth spread through me, ignite me.

"Fuck, the things you can do to me," I murmured, and watched a smile flit across her face with the words.

On her again, I kissed her and pushed her further into the mattress, lying her down until she was on her back, splayed out before me. Her nails dug into my shoulders as I found purchase under her shirt with my hands, then again when I stripped her bare and felt every inch of creamy, beautiful skin beneath me.

I teased her, rolling my fingers over one peak, sucking and lightly biting on the other. Her back arched up away from the bed, and she gasped, pressing her hot, wet heat right where I strained against my jeans.

I groaned, and she pulled me closer, settling me in between her legs just enough so that she could reach my jeans, unfasten them and push them down my thighs. She grasped me and stroked once, and I was blinded, groaning again and thrusting up into her hand.

"Bella," I hissed. My head fell forward when she ran her thumb over the tip... swirled. "Jesus, that feels so fucking good."

She shifted us so that she could crawl down and tease me more. My blood spiked as I watched her. My breath rushed out of me the second her mouth enveloped me, and I fought the urge to flex, hit the back of her throat, explode into her mouth immediately. Her teeth grazed at my shaft, eyes seeking approval.

"Bella, baby... Oh, fucking Christ, I'll come if you do that again," I moaned.

Again she did it, and I ground my teeth together to keep back the shout at the sudden, intense rush of pleasure that went through me.

The roar of blood was heavy in my ears, but I had enough sense to ask, "You okay? That wasn't..."

It was the first time I'd ever let myself come in her mouth. Although, I was pretty fucking sure I hadn't let myself do anything.

That mouth of hers was pure genius.

"Fine." She licked her lips and smiled with mirth. "You weren't kidding about coming, were you?"

I gave her a dark look as reciprocation suddenly flashed in my mind, and without another thought, I was covering her body with mine, working her over. Up she came, gasping, panting with every nibble and stroke, every nudge of my fingers inside her. She groaned in frustration, and I moved lower, tasting her, pulling her tender flesh between my lips and pushing my fingers all of the way into her.

Her crest was hard and quick; she shattered against my mouth, muscles frozen until the waves ebbed, and then she slowly drifted back down, lethargic and smiling.

"I talked to your dad today," I murmured, thinking we were finished.

For now.

The way Bella's hands roamed over my body proved otherwise, though, and I groaned when her teeth nipped at my neck.

"Do not talk about my dad while we're naked, Edward. It's bad enough that we're doing this in his house."

I chuckled and rolled her over, my hands and mouth making a trail over the swell of her ass. "What's this, exactly?" I asked her roughly.

"You're going to fuck me."

"Oh, I am, huh?" I teased. "You're not giving me much recovery time tonight."

"Doesn't feel like you need it."

It was true. I wanted to be inside her so fucking much...

"I'm a little on the shocked side, to be honest."

"Me too." She glanced over her shoulder and grinned impishly. "Come on. You can tell me whatever it was you talked to him about when we're done."

Wordlessly, I agreed, because I needed to tell her everything. I didn't want it to seem like I was hiding my trip from her.

I could never hide anything from her.

"You ready for me then, baby?"

She pushed back against me, urging me toward her. I stayed in place.

"Edward... Don't be a jerk."

I brought her knee up and finally - fucking finally - slid inside her.

Made for me. Every last fucking inch of this woman was made for me. She buried her face into the comforter, gripping it with every ounce of strength she had, as I took her. She cried out when I hitched her leg up further and found a deeper angle.

I grunted, dipping my head down and placing a kiss on her shoulder, fingers spread wide on her hip, roaming closer to the crack of her ass. I dipped a tentative thumb down, and she surprised me with a moan.

"Shit, that's hot," I ground out. "You want me there?"

I swiveled my hips, pressed my thumb down further until I felt her tighten around me.

"Tell me," I said lowly, immediately regretting the fact that I didn't have anything on hand to explore her reaction further. "I want to hear what you want me to do to you."

"Edward... don't stop. Don't..." She sucked in a breath, let out a long, low groan as she lifted her hips off the bed and rocked into my thrusts. "Yes... God, yes..."

Harder. "Yes what, Bella?" I growled.

"I want you there," she rasped. "In me. I want you everywhere."

Faster with her words now. "I'm going to... So hard-"

She convulsed then, her orgasm sweeping over her... me. I grabbed her hips and jerked her back, once... twice... spilling inside her until I was spent and flopping down uselessly on the bed next to her.

I wrapped an arm around her and held her close, letting my hand drift up to feel her heart pound against her ribs.

"Too much exertion, huh, baby?"

"You fucked me stupid," she slurred. "Give me a minute."

I laughed and clung tighter.

Her breathing eventually slowed down, and she shifted against me, a sigh of contentment escaping her lips.

"I didn't panic," I said against her ear.

Faster than I expected, she turned around in my arms. "What?"

I smiled at her. "Not even for a millisecond. The whole thing was just... Fuck, it was so good. Better than anything I've ever had with you before."

Her answering smile was warm... blissed right the fuck out. "You sure do know how to put other guys to shame."

"I hope you're still talking about me fucking you stupid."

"No, but there's that too," she said, beaming wider. "It's the things you say, do. How considerate you are. You're a big softie underneath it all."

"Just with you. No one else gets this side of me."

"I like that. I like that I'm special."

I kissed her once, fingers moving up to trace over her jaw. "You are. You always will be."

xx

Dressed only in my t-shirt, Bella tiptoed down to Charlie's kitchen to grab a snack. I threw on a pair of sweatpants and ran my hands through my hair, smirking as I caught sight of the new bed he'd bought to replace Bella's.

The comforter was piled on the floor, sheets pulled off the mattress. We'd done a number on it just now.

I hoped like hell that Charlie didn't find out.

I was nearly done remaking the bed when Bella came back into the room. She had an entire tray full of shit. Some kind of pasta salad, cheese, crackers, hummus, an apple, grapes...

Were those Doritos?

"Christ, you're not the one who got knocked up in this family, are you?"

She rolled her eyes and set the tray down on the bed. "The Doritos are for you, Edward."

"Oh. Uh... thanks?"

"I'm starving after all that. Aren't you?"

"A little," I admitted.

"It was either all this random stuff or I was making spaghetti."

I gave her an odd look. "Spaghetti."

"Told you: I'm starving."

"I don't know which is worse," I said with a frown. "They're both kind of... weird."

"Stop freaking out over it."

"I'm not freaking," I argued.

But the way my palms dampened suggested otherwise.

"Okay, so I am. What the fuck do you expect? You're... We're... And then there's me..."

She threw the bag of Doritos at me with a laugh. "Eat those and shut up."

I huffed.

And opened the bag.

"So what were you discussing with my dad?" she asked, settling down on the bed.

I sighed. "Chicago."

She blinked a few times, and then stared down at the food. "What um... What did he say?"

"That you worry about me."

"Ah," she said quietly.

"How much?"

She made a noncommittal noise in response.

It pissed me off.

"Bella, damn it, talk to me."

She shook her head.

"I know why you don't want me to go. And I can't... I know I haven't really tried to explain myself, but-"

"I know why you have to," she said, her eyes fierce. "Why do you think I keep my mouth shut? No one could have talked me out of coming to Forks to find you, so I get it. I just don't like it."

We ate quietly for a while before the silence became too much for me to stand. I couldn't stop thinking that maybe I was doing the wrong thing, being entirely too fucking selfish for my own good again. Bella didn't need this shit. She didn't need the stress of wondering if the guy she had fallen love with would be the same after hearing how much his own mother didn't care about him.

And I suddenly realized that I'd stay here if she asked me to.

"I won't go. Say the words, and I'll cancel everything," I whispered.

"You will hate yourself for not going."

"I'll hate myself for hurting you more."

"You aren't hurting me by going, Edward. I might need drugs to get through it," she joked, "but you're not hurting me."

"No?"

"No." Her face softened with a smile, and she scooted toward me, letting me wrap everything I was around her. "I love you. I want you to feel better about what happened to you. If you need to go back there to do so, then go."

"But-"

"But I'll worry about you. Every single second you're there, I'll worry. I'll worry until we're home and things go back to normal. Until we move on with our life. Because that's just what you do when you love someone: you worry about them."

"Flight times, huh?" Emmett asked, staring at the screen over my shoulder.

"Fuck," I growled. "I knew I should have done this back at the house."

He ignored me and kept reading. "Two passengers to Chicago. You're a fucking dumbass for taking her there, you know that?"

I spun around in the chair, my eyes wide. "How the hell do you know what we're doing?"

"I might have overheard your conversation with the chief last night."

"Son of a..." My fists tightened at my lap. "I'm going. Nothing you can say is talking me out of it."

"Not trying to talk you out of it," he replied calmly.

"Then what...?"

He pointed toward the door casually, just as Jasper chose that moment to make his presence known.

It took me a second before the proverbial streak of lightning struck me.

"No. Fuck no," I snarled.

"I'll chain you to one of the fucking lifts if I have to," he snapped back. "I'm not going to let you take Bella there alone."

My eyes darted between the two of them as anger bubbled up inside me. I shot up out of the chair and stared toward the door, screaming obscenities at them both for trying to get involved, interfere.

"Fuck you both," I roared, shoving past Emmett and hurtling myself toward the door.

Only I never made it that far. My screaming was cut off when the air was knocked out of my lungs as I was thrown up against the wall.

Emmett's forearm bore down on my throat as he glared down at me. "Done with the temper tantrum?"

"No," I spat, squirming against his hold.

He tightened it, and I started to wheeze.

"Now are you?"

I clenched my jaw and stared back at him defiantly. I'd lose consciousness before I let them come to Chicago with me.

"Here's the deal, E," Jasper said nonchalantly. Then he snuck a glance over at Emmett. "Let him breathe, Em. He can't listen if he's passed out in a heap on the floor."

Emmett's arm eased up on my windpipe, but there was still no way I was breaking free of his grasp.

"As I was saying. We love Bella and aren't going to let anything happen to her."

"Neither am I, fucker," I sneered.

"Yeah, I don't know how much I believe you." I opened my mouth to protest, but he smiled and said, "Look at the way you behaved when we told you we were coming with you."

"You fucking ambushed me, you asshole. What did you expect?"

"From the old Edward? This. From the new...?" He shrugged. "A little more rationality, I guess."

Emmett removed his arm, gripping onto my shoulders so that I didn't sag forward. "You can't know. You just fucking can't."

God damn, I sounded like a pussy, practically sobbing the way I was.

"We know more than you think," Emmett said softly.

I stared at him, my brow furrowed in confusion. "How?"

"Come on," he scoffed. "We're not stupid. You may not give us any of the details, but we know you were abused when you were a kid. Worse than either of us could ever claim to be."

"If you already know, why come with me to Chicago? Just for Bella's safety?"

"Mostly, yeah," Jasper admitted, and I felt like I'd been hit with a tank. "But that's just because we know you can handle yourself."

My eyes slowly drifted to his.

"You did it as a kid. And you didn't have age. Strength. Us."

"You."

"Yeah, us, dick," Emmett laughed. "You would be there for us in a heartbeat. Let us do it for you."

"I'm not telling you shit," I repeated. "I can't have you fucking look at me like I'm... I'm-"

"We don't want to know shit," Jasper returned. "And dude, seriously. We already look at you differently. Not because of what we guessed about your past, but because you've finally stopped acting like a pissed off three year old. Today being the exception, of course."

"Fuck off."

He grinned at me.

"Like it or not, we're coming," Emmett said firmly. "Because Liberty wants us to protect you."

I gazed back at him. My mouth dropped open with the weight of what he was saying. Everything she'd refused to talk to me about the night before, playing it off as worry for someone you loved. Only it was more. Realer. She wasn't just worried about me emotionally. She knew the risk I was taking by simply being in that neighborhood.

I'd never said a word to her about it.

Yet she fucking knew. She always knew.

"Do this for me," she whispered as she rounded the corner.

"What the fuck is with you people coming out of the woodwork," I muttered.

Emmett moved aside so Bella could take his place. Her touch was different, though, soothing the ache that threatened to bubble up and consume me.

"Baby..."

"Please. I need to know you'll be safe," she whispered, eyes swimming with tears. "That you'll come back to me. That I won't..."

Her hand came up to trace my scars through my shirt, and I was fucking done, hating myself for putting her through this.

Because I knew how unbearable the thought of losing her was. Exactly the way she felt, how the walls felt like they were closing in and everything in the world lost its luster.

How I wouldn't survive without her anymore.

I was the lowest piece of shit ever.

"Please," she said again.

Her chin trembled, and I grabbed her and kissed her to make it stop.

"I'm sorry," I breathed against her lips. "So fucking sorry. I didn't think- I'll do anything, Bella. Whatever you need. Just please. Don't fucking cry."

So... yeah.

Chicago.

Meep.