Here's the next chapter! Enjoy! I do not own Mockingjay.

Ch. 15

They're letting me leave the room. The doctor told me about it last night, as I was about to sleep. He said that I would be allowed to go to the dining hall and eat lunch with everybody. I wasn't quite sure who everybody was. Delly was the only one that visited, every afternoon with out fail, and Sky only came every so often. I would much rather have them come meet me here than see all the looks that people are sure to give me, but he said it's part of my growth.

Pretty soon, he had said, I would have my own room. I wouldn't be watched 24/7 and I wouldn't have to be restrained whenever I talked to someone. I was kind of excited about that, but parts of me were scared. Like what if I have a freak out and I go kill someone. I wouldn't put it past the monster living inside of me. The old me had done it as well. I didn't forget the people that died at my hands; I don't think any human mortally could.

It's almost time for lunch, I can feel it by the grumbling in my stomach, and I feel giddy, like a kid going to school on the first day. I hadn't walked much, only around the perimeter of this room and my muscles were weak. I questioned if I would even be able to walk to the cafeteria.

My doctor walks in with two burly men behind him, I realize they're my bodyguards or more the bodyguards of other people to keep them protected from me. "Peeta. There are some ground rules. But after I explain, you get to leave this room!" He smiles encouragingly at me.

"So, what are the rules?" I ask.

"You have to wear these cuffs," He holds up thick silver cuffs with a chain long enough to where I could do things, but not anything crazy. "If something happens, then a tranquilizer will be shot in through these."

"Something happens? Like I start to strangle Katniss?" My words are calm as if on a daily basis I would do it and the doctor looks startled. So many leaps and bounds and yet there was still that monster, he knew it was there, I knew it was there, maybe even Katniss knew it was there. The tranquilizer ensured safety, but not for my mental health.

"Yes, but Peeta we're letting you go out there because we know it won't happen. It's just better to be safe than sorry." My dad used to say that when my mom asked him why he was baking so much bread. He would reply in his kind, quiet tone that exact same saying. It's amazing how much I saw of my family in random people. They were everywhere.

"Also, ask to sit down at a table." He says and walks towards me to but the cuffs around my wrists.

"Why? Because no one really wants to sit next to the crazy hijacked one?" My doctor's face doesn't change at all because it was the truth. If I just sat down people wouldn't be brave enough to tell me to move and they would be too scared to eat.

"Just to ensure manners." He answers with a smile. He helps me up out of the bed and before I know it I'm walking the halls down to the dining hall.

The guards don't talk and neither do I. I actually feel nervous and talking to strangers won't make it any better. We make it there and the door stands wide open and I see them sitting there. Katniss, Gale, Finnick, Annie, Johanna, and yes, Delly. That was the only table I could sit at, the only people I knew that were here, sat at that table. They eat in good spirits, they do not know that within a matter of seconds I will be there before them asking them if I could sit down.

I wonder how they'll react, with surprise, with hatred, with happiness. It could go anyway and I think that is what made me the most worried. I see the guards shuffle uneasily as I stand outside the door waiting to go in. Katniss doesn't look as lost as she did the day she came to see me and she almost looks as if she has hope.

I finally find it in me to walk forward; I think it's the smell of stew. I get my food and balance the tray on my fingertips and walk carefully to the table. They don't notice me, which I silently am happy about. It gives me a chance to compose my self. They're all looking at Finnick.

"So, the sea turtle…" I stop listening and look at Katniss. I hear Haymitch in my head, think she doesn't care anymore? And honestly, looking at her, I really think she did care. I'm not sure how I noticed it or even why I felt that way, but I did. She was trying, I saw it in her frazzled hair and tired eyes, she was broken, I saw it in the way she moved, ever so carefully, she cared, I saw it in her careful eyes.

But the thing was, I couldn't appreciate it for long because me now didn't love her. I couldn't appreciate her caring like I could before the hijacking. Sure, I could admire the fact, that maybe; maybe she realized she loved me. I could admire the fact that she was trying to move on, seeing that I was no longer hers. I could admire the fact that she was fighting for a better tomorrow. But I couldn't love her anymore than I did a second ago. What's done is done.

That's when she sees me and her eyes go wide and she somewhat chokes on her food and seconds later Delly sees me. I'm not sure how this lunch will go, but I go into it with a new mindset, if Katniss could look for a better tomorrow then so could I.

So could I.

Sorry for not posting! I guess I just needed a little break, I really don't know why, but I just did not feel like writing. That's bad, I know. Hopefully I'll be back in my old routine now...

Don't forget to REVIEW on the way out! Thanks! ~boywithbreadlover