Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek Voyager, I do however own this plot and the original characters.
"There is no stairway to the light. There is no answer, heaven knows. Will there be music left to write? In my fantasy, black rose." - Lori Yates, Black Rose
The soft familiar hum of the machines in Sickbay was the first thing to register in Icheb's battered and abused mind. Straining to wake himself, he heard the disembodied voices of his friends around him, speaking quietly to each other, worry very clear in their tone. "I think he's coming to," Icheb heard Tom's voice, absent of the gruff from his previous injury.
Icheb very carefully opened his eyes, wincing at the sting from the overhead light for a second, and peered around himself, seeing all of his friends surrounding him. None of them looked like they had ever seen a battle, their uniforms neat and clean and they looked as healthy as ever. How long had he been out of it?
"How... long?" Icheb questioned, trying to get past the sedatives he had been under, unable to speak clearly.
"Three days," the doctor told him softly from somewhere at his left side.
"Three..?" Icheb coughed, trying to sit up, but most of the people closest to him reached over, laid a hand on him, gently pushing him back down. Icheb blinked with difficulty and looked at them closely, seeing the concerned and affectionate expressions on all of them, each lending him support. Icheb felt as though his heart couldn't swell any further. Swallowing the embarrassing amount of emotions from his throat, he allowed them to care for him and let himself lay back down, unable to stop the sentiments from misting his eyes. Icheb felt more than accepted in that moment, he felt as though he was truly part of their 'family' and they each loved him like one of their own.
Kathryn smiled warmly and reached over to caress her fingers through his hair fondly. "It's okay, Icheb. The fleet is on its way to recovery and we are aiding those we can. The crew from the Phoenix is still aboard, but we're looking to getting transport ships brought over as soon as we can."
"Why three days?" Icheb questioned, rubbing his head of the dull ache. "How... damaged am I?" he asked, wincing at the wording for the first time. Damaged indeed.
"You've suffered extensive damage to your cranial implants, as well as your mind, I'm afraid. However, Mr. Tuvok lent a hand in that regard," the doctor smiled cheerfully. "It took over half a day, but he managed to fix the harm to your neural pathways and reconnect fragmented engrams."
Icheb looked over to find Tuvok standing near his right side and smiled tentatively at him. "Thank you... Tuvok. How..?"
Tuvok understood his question and answered as simply as he could, so that his injured Captain would not have to process too much information. "While I was with my family on Vulcan, I took to studying the art of mind melding to a greater degree. I learned from the masters how to heal damaged synapses and with the knowledge I had attained, I was able to offer my skills to the doctor," the Vulcan tactical officer explained. "I hope you forgive me for the violation into your privacy. In order to properly mend your mind, I had to look into your personal thoughts and experiences."
"You have nothing to... apologize for, Tuvok. Thank you for... doing that for me. I hope..." Icheb trailed off, cringing at the idea of anyone else experiencing the horrors he had during the battle.
Once again, Tuvok picked up on what he was feeling. Perhaps it was due to their mental connection for the better part of a day, perhaps it was because Tuvok had been forced to relive the gruesome events of Icheb's life, for whatever reason it was, he seemed to understand the young Brunali far more than he had in the past. "What you have experienced, Icheb, will take more than what I have done for you at the moment to heal. However, if you need someone to talk to about what you have been through, I offer you my assistance," Tuvok said as gently as a Vulcan could.
Icheb didn't know what to say, extremely touched by the older man's generous offer. But Tuvok saw the look in his eyes and nodded in understanding. After taking a few more moments to collect himself, Icheb turned to where Kathryn and Tom stood. "Voyager..?"
"Under repairs. The fleet is holding still to clean and help repair other ships before we head home. Some of the more damaged ships can't be moved safely yet," Tom explained. "You did well, Captain." he added softly, laying a hand over his shoulder again. "It would have been a lot worse without your direction."
Icheb felt a lump of dismal emotion in his throat, not letting him speak. How could he say that? They had suffered such casualties... so many of their allies, so many ships had been destroyed. But then, looking around him at that moment, he saw the looks of agreement from the others. "But..." he tried to protest feebly, but was interrupted by Kathryn's insistence.
"Think of it this way, if it hadn't been for you, Seven, and the accumulated knowledge on how to fight the Borg, if it hadn't been for your quick thinking and organizing of the fleet, we would have lost to a single cube. We lasted against twenty five cubes, a command ship and the Queen herself. Despite how you may feel about yourself, you have saved countless lives," Kathryn told him firmly. "I couldn't be more proud of you. I couldn't be more sure that you are the Captain Voyager deserves." Around her, the original crew of Voyager murmured their agreement.
Icheb shut his eyes, trying to stop the tears from trailing down his cheeks, desperately trying to keep himself from crying in front of them, embarrassed by the uncontrolled level of emotion they had inspired within him since waking up. All he ever wanted to do was help his friends, the family he had made aboard Voyager. It hadn't ever really been about serving on the bridge, it had been about so much more. He had wanted to help them find their home, wanted to help defend them. They had taken him into their arms, guided him, nurtured him, supported him. He had thought his heart had been too full a little bit ago, how wrong he was. "I'm... I-I'm sorry for concerning all of you," he told them hoarsely.
"Don't be, buddy," Tom grinned down at him with the affection of an older brother. "That's what family is for, after all."
"We'll handle the clean up from here, you just be sure to rest and recover, alright? That's an order, Captain," Kathryn squeezed his arm fondly. Icheb wanted to be of more use, but knew he wouldn't be able to argue with any of them, lower in their ranks or not. So he smiled weakly and reluctantly nodded in agreement. As they filtered out of the room, he spotted Naomi some ways back and his heart raced like never before.
Naomi had been watching from her perch on her medical bed, still recovering from her own injuries, though she was doing a lot better now. Since hearing of Icheb's collapse, she had taken every opportunity she could to go to Sickbay, claiming to her supervisor that she was going in for physical therapy. Since the staff was aware of their relationship and promised to keep it to themselves, they did not stop her from seeing him. Naomi had been a nervous wreck at first, seeing Tuvok mind-meld with him had been almost too much to take. How much mental torment had Icheb gone through? She hadn't known he was suffering until the doctor gently explained it to her. Her heart had cried out to him, the part of her soul that belonged to him torn to shreds over his suffering.
Now it was everything Naomi could do to keep from shouting with glee that he was awake and seemed well. She had wanted to be there by his side with the rest of them, but she waited, knowing it wouldn't be appropriate and frankly had loved seeing the happy family welcoming their brother back to the living. So she watched patiently with a fond grin as they fawned over him, let them each have their turn with him. When they left, Naomi slipped off her bed and walked over to him, standing by his side. "Icheb," she sighed in relief, her eyes softening over him.
"Naomi Wildman," Icheb greeted her weakly, his own eyes swirling with an array of deep emotions.
Naomi could see a hint of grief from his guilt, his shame over the casualties of war, she could see his fear toward his own mental state, fear that he had nearly lost himself, and she could see passion plainly as his eyes searched hers, longing very close following it. She smiled tenderly and leaned down, molding her eager lips to his soft, inviting mouth, holding his cheeks as she expressed all of her worry, fear, and love for him into it. It was not a kiss of passion, nor promise, it was a kiss of reconnecting, of restoration. Naomi could feel him shaking, knew he was trying to keep himself together. She wiped a tear from his cheek with her thumb, sending him as much comfort as she presently could.
Naomi pulled away from the kiss then, resisting her impulse to continue, knowing she couldn't stay much longer. "I have to go back to work," she whispered against him, begging her heart to still, to not become overwhelmed with the need to take him in her arms and never let him go.
"I understand," Icheb murmured back, his hand having released her hair of its neat bun, tangling his fingers into her silky tresses. Remembering his deep fear of losing her, his agony over the thought of what the Borg could do to her, compelled his hand to pull her closer, resting his cheek against hers, nuzzling her lovingly, the closest they could get to touching foreheads. "I love you, Naomi Wildman," he whispered fiercely, pulling away slightly again so his eyes could bore into hers with profound meaning.
Naomi knew what he was trying to convey, could easily read his frayed emotions and could feel her eyes stinging in response. "My heart is yours, Icheb," she answered back just as ardently. "It waits for you to get better very eagerly," she whispered reverently, her tone holding promise. "Rest now, my Captain, we'll see each other again," she said then, and leaned over, kissing the implant over his eye very gingerly. Icheb closed his eyes, feeling mixed emotions over her tender care for his wretched Borg mutilation, but then felt her lips touch his feather lightly, her fingers ghosting down his cheeks. When he opened them though, he only saw her retreating form walking out of Sickbay, so he closed them again and willed himself to sleep peacefully.
For a few days now, Voyager helped the rest of the fleet clean up and gather the bodies of their fallen comrades, floating in space some ways from their wrecked ships. It was a gruesome, grueling task, but it had to be done. Once the way was cleared enough, Voyager reignited the Wormhole, scanning it closely. The ignition and telemetry from the Delta Quadrant was once again a success and clear of enemy activity. They sighed collectively in relief. There was still a lot to do, a lot of repairs to be made before they could all return home.
Icheb had stayed another full day in Sickbay to recover further, but he could not keep himself away any more. He found himself in his ready-room with Tom and Kathryn after reporting the mission and battle success to them, awaiting their response. Tom and Kathryn spoke mostly, relating what they should or shouldn't do to help the fleet, the situation from the crew of the Phoenix, and the moral state of the crew. Icheb listened and gave them his opinion, but was otherwise distracted and solemn.
"We're receiving a hail from Starfleet Command sir, should I send it there?" Harry asked over the com.
"Yes, thank you. I would appreciate that, Harry," Icheb answered quietly.
In seconds, Icheb was greeted by the aging face of Admiral Chekov Pavel. The very old admiral regarded the youth before him critically, remaining quiet for a bit. Icheb was honored to be getting a call from such a decorated officer, not to mention one that had served under James Kirk himself. If it weren't for the positively dismal circumstances, gathering the bodies of their allies, fixing debilitated ships, and dealing with his own inner demons, he would have been positively giddy. "Admiral Chekov," Icheb greeted as calmly as he could, trying to ignore the knowing look from Kathryn. Janeway had known of Icheb's admiration for the crew of the original Enterprise for years now and found his tempered excitement slightly amusing.
"The Federation owes you their lives, Captain," Chekov said simply, his thick accent colored with admiration for him.
Icheb shifted in embarrassment, detecting the tone. "I was simply preforming my duty, sir," he said in humility.
Chekov smiled indulgently at him and nodded in understanding. "Your report and actions during this time of crisis have been regarded very highly by the council. Whether or not it was simply your duty, you have earned the respect of many in the Federation, including myself."
Icheb was speechless for a second. "Thank you, sir..." he answered, still not feeling like he deserved such high praise from so many of the higher echelon. "What are my orders, sir?"
"For now, continue doing what you're doing. A lot of those ships, those crew need as much support as they can. Once the fleet returns, Starfleet is planning to host a celebration in Deep Space Nine in honor of the defeat of their most feared enemy, the safety of their system, and remembrance of those who died heroes. It will be held one week after the funerals for our fallen comrades. I expect to see you there, Captain."
"Of course, sir," Icheb accepted without hesitation.
"Good," Chekov nodded in approval. "Admiral Janeway," Chekov turned to his colleague. "I look forward to having that chess rematch with you."
Kathryn grinned and inclined her head. "Of course, Pavel, I still need to pay you back for that dirty tactic you pulled."
Chekov scoffed good-naturedly. "If you think that was dirty, you should try playing with Scotty some time." Kathryn gave him a friendly smile. "I look forward to seeing all of you when you return," Chekov nodded to them before ending the call. The three returned to the bridge and continued to offer aid to those they could.
A few hours later, Icheb received a call from the doctor to see him in Sickbay. Icheb dutifully made his way down, knowing the doctor was concerned about his mental stability. Honestly, he was as well. When he made it there, the usual staff was not there, most likely asked to leave so he and the doctor could have privacy. "Doctor?" Icheb called.
"I'm in here," the doctor called him into his office. Icheb went in and sat at the seat in front of his desk, feeling like he was about to be interrogated. The doctor turned from his work and leveled him with a thoughtful look. "Icheb, I wanted to ask if you'd be willing to talk to me about what happened to you?"
"I nearly lost my mind," Icheb revealed softly, unable to properly look at him.
"Will you tell me about it?" the doctor asked softly.
Icheb thought about it. Would the doctor think of him differently if he knew how badly he thought of himself? No, he decided he knew the doctor well enough to know he'd never judge him or think less of him. He could trust the doctor, always had. The doctor had been the closest thing he had to a father, after all. So Icheb told him how he was feeling, told him how close he had come to a total mental break down how he felt guilt for the casualties, how he worried over his friends.
The doctor listened closely, nodding appropriately and jotting down notes. When Icheb was finished with his tale, Greg reviewed his notes and sighed in concern, quiet for a moment. "Guilt and worry is perfectly natural during a conflict of that magnitude, you shouldn't let that get to you," he began.
"I know..." Icheb muttered wearily.
"Everything you've described to me so far, ever symptom you have had throughout the Borg conflict, leads me to believe you have developed psychosomatic characteristics. Aside from the unusual mental stress and traumatic childhood memories, have you been experiencing difficulty concentrating? Have you had any auditory or visual hallucinations recently?" Greg Zimmerman asked carefully. If Icheb had become psychosomatic, it would mean he would have to employ post traumatic stress methods in aiding him. The stress levels associated with people this level of psychosomatisism could be serious and if left untreated it could cripple him.
Icheb wanted to deny it, wanted desperately to just go to sleep and try to push all of this from his mind. Better yet, he wanted Naomi in his arms, wanted to lose himself in her, delve into her love and escape his tortured mind. However, contrary to the mistakes he had made in the past, he wasn't an idiot, and knew he needed help. "...Yes, doctor," he reluctantly replied truthfully.
"Which symptom?" the doctor frowned in worry.
"All of them," Icheb shrugged and leaned forward in his seat, running a hand through his hair in agitation. "The... flashes of memories in my mind of my assimilation I have been having since this all started," he admitted. "But I have also seen the crew... Naomi... being assimilated. The destruction of the fleet. The fall of the Federation. The entire galaxy turning into one enormous collective all controlled by the Queen. I... know they were images sent by her. Psychological warfare is a common practice for the Borg; weaken the enemy, make them distracted, weaken their response time...easier to assimilate them that way," he shuddered in distress. "I am... I guess I am not immune to it."
"I have a few methods that may aid you in dealing with this. The first I recommend is Vulcan neurological pressure point treatment. As I hear it, their methods in dealing with psychological trauma is unrivaled within the Federation. If Tuvok is unwilling, I believe I may have just the medical holodeck program to aid you just in case," the doctor smiled, walking over to the large utility workbench along his office wall. "Ah, here you go," he handed him the program. "You'll find the masseur at least a fair bit more attractive than the Lieutenant Commander," Greg grinned.
Icheb tried not to roll his eyes and nodded instead to him in thanks. "Thank you doctor,"
"In addition, I would like you to see me regularly. If not aboard Voyager, then I will make personal house-calls if I need to. You may experience negative effects from your condition before the end. What happened to you will not be easily mended... but with enough time and persistence that I know you are capable of, you will triumph over this. I am sure of it," the doctor smiled warmly.
"Thank you, Greg..." Icheb smiled weakly, eternally grateful to the caring hologram. In a way, the doctor was more of an affectionate father figure to Icheb than anyone else had ever been.
Days went by with steady progress on the fleet. Icheb had undergone a week of treatment and it had shown very promising results almost immediately. At first he had woken with horrible nightmares, but through persistent treatment and visits to the doctor, they had faded away. Since starting his treatment though, despite how awkward it had gotten at a few points, Icheb had been exhausted most nights, and to his and Naomi's frustration, they hadn't had the chance to spend much time with each other. They had run into each other on occasion, but each time they had not been alone and the tension had steadily risen.
Still, they had a lot of repair work to help with, along with helping to clear up the battlefield and offer assistance to waylaid crew without ships. The result in the doubled amount of people on the ship from the Phoenix meant that the crew had to share quarters. It also meant that Icheb and Naomi could not pursue their relationship even if they had wanted to.
Finally, after a week of clean up, repairs to ships who couldn't be towed back, and passenger transport duty, Voyager and the rest of the fleet finally returned home. Voyager, instrumental in the defeat of the Borg, was once again hailed with praise.
After getting himself to Starfleet Command and giving them a full, detailed, first-hand report, Icheb was commended and all but ordered to attend the celebration again. That night, he found himself staring at his computer screen unseeingly, his thoughts a mess. The doctor would be visiting him every evening starting Monday. As it was a Friday night, that meant he would have to handle his troubles on his own, try to deal with his ordeal with the skills he had been taught.
Closing his eyes, Icheb tried to concentrate on the meditation Tuvok had taught him, but flashes of his mutilated friends... his love... by the hands of those who tried to turn him into a monster shook him back to the present. Blinking away the images, glad he could at least now banish them easier, Icheb rubbed his face with his hand and sighed wearily. If the memories over his assimilation or the images the Queen had sent him, his agonizing over having to keep distant from Naomi didn't help much at all either.
Elsewhere, Naomi was facing a similar dilemma, though she had the advantage of an intact sanity and mental infrastructure. All the same, she lay in her bed in her parent's home on Earth, unable to sleep. Starfleet had allowed Naomi and the rest of the crew who suffered during the battle a few days of leave. Naomi now only yearned to be at the academy, if only to be close to Icheb again. They lived close enough to the academy for it to be convenient at least.
The fierce battle with the Borg had drained both of them and they wanted nothing more than to be together... but with having to share quarters on Voyager, being overloaded with work and repair detail, and simply not finding time, they had barely seen each other for a week. Deciding she couldn't bear it any longer, needing to see him, Naomi went over to the phone, hoping he wasn't asleep yet. When he responded and she saw his familiar, handsome face, she felt herself physically relax. "Icheb," she murmured, simply absorbing his image.
"Naomi, what's wrong?" Icheb asked in concern. Naomi looked a little stressed and completely disheveled, and it was still the most beautiful sight to him in the world at that moment.
"Icheb... would you..." Naomi frowned to herself, unsure if she should ask, not wanting to intrude if he was still trying to recover. "Would it be acceptable if I stopped by?"
Icheb knew it probably wasn't proper for a lady to be seen stopping by his apartment that late in the night, especially if the lady was still his student, but he didn't have it in him to deny her. Not to mention all of his senses screamed a resounding yes. "You're always welcome here, Naomi," he said softly, though his tone held a touch of insistence.
"I'll see you in thirty then," Naomi smiled and reached over, touching the screen briefly, as though she imagined she could almost feel him.
Icheb answered without hesitation. "I await you with anticipation." Naomi smiled fondly and ended the call.
Icheb impatiently awaited her arrival and checked his clock again. Six minutes late. Icheb ran his hand through his hair, trying to calm down, and almost literally jumped when he heard the soft rap on the door, quiet enough that only he would be able to hear it. Naomi was there and in full sneak mode. Icheb quickly went over to the door and opened it eagerly, his eyes softening the sight of her. "Naomi Wildman," he greeted tenderly, stepping back to let her in. Having seen very little of her for over a week, Icheb's soul cried out for her, wanting nothing more than to take her in his arms, pull her to his bed, and bask in their pleasure... but he had to resist, had to calm down and be attentive to her. He knew very well that Naomi had suffered through the battle as well, as physically as he had mentally. He could not force himself on her, would not force himself, he loved her far too deeply to ever treat her like that, but the overwhelming need for her was nearly blinding. He feared that as much as he loved her, he may not be able to control himself.
"Icheb Hansen," Naomi greeted back with a tired, though playful smile, watching him close the door behind him slowly. Naomi walked past him, setting her bag on the little table by the wall and let her hand trail along his vintage leather couch. They had spent a couple nights during their spring break together watching old movies on that couch, it held pleasant, innocent memories. She felt his presence behind her then, and turned to look at him. It was then she realized he was simply in his uniform slacks and his undershirt. She had no doubt interrupted him as he was getting ready for bed. "Did I catch you at a bad time?" she asked him apologetically. Somehow, Naomi found it strange that she would revert to her polite professionalism with him here... after everything they had been through.
Icheb stared at her incredulously, his opinion similar to hers. "Naomi, you never catch me at a bad time," he said to her firmly, then smiled as calmly as he could, still trying to keep a firm handle on himself. It had been nearly two weeks without her in his arms, and he was feeling the screaming strain from it. "Make yourself at home," he said softly and then disappeared into his kitchen to get them refreshments, trying to distract himself.
Naomi walked over to the couch and sunk into it, sighing in content. For reasons she could now more intimately understand, she always felt so much more at home wherever he resided. He was half her heart, half her soul, so it was only natural she would feel complete near him. Closing her eyes, she listened to Icheb moving around in the kitchen, memories of their arguments and almost kiss flooded her mind, making her smile. They had been so unsure of themselves then, so worried about regulations and staying platonic... or maybe that had just been her. She had thought Icheb was by the book, certainly had been in his youth on Voyager, but evidently time and Earth had changed him.
"Naomi?" said half Ktarian opened her eyes to find Icheb standing near her, holding two glasses of what looked like champagne. Naomi grinned and scooted over, patting the seat next to her. Icheb took the invitation quickly, eagerly sitting and offering her the glass. Naomi accepted it and breathed in the fresh aroma, smiling fondly when she realized it was Antarian cider. Taking a drink, her eyes shut again, appreciating the sweet and tangy flavor. When she opened her eyes, Icheb was giving her an amused look. It was a very welcomed site! Icheb hadn't simply smiled care-freely like that in what seemed like forever.
Icheb reached over for the bottle and refilled her glass, making her eyebrow hike up. A thought occurred to her and another familiar memory flashed through her mind. When Icheb turned back to her from setting the bottle back down, he caught her staring at him where she lounged on his couch intently. "What is it?" he asked curiously, trying to hold himself still, the intensity of her eyes making him stir surprisingly quickly.
Deciding it would help ease him of his recently troubled, Naomi turned to humor once again. "Icheb... are you trying to get me drunk? Invite me to your apartment and offer me a drink?" She asked softly, repeating what she had said to him long ago.
Icheb recognized the words and regarded her for a moment, before a slow smile spread over his lips. "Trust me," he began, a familiar twinkle in his eyes, a throw-back to his more care-free days before the Borg conflict. "If my intention were what you are suggesting... you would not need to get drunk for anything to happen between us," he challenged, tossing back his old words to her in the same seductively low tone he had used then.
This time, he meant it. This time, his words made Naomi's eyes slide shut as her body reacted to the familiar words, shivering hotly with the knowledge that he was unbelievably right. The only kind of drunk she could get was purely off of him. "And are they not your intentions?" she smiled looking back at him, flirting right back this time.
Icheb could not stop himself from leaning closer to her, his arm sliding across the back of the couch as he moved, letting her feel the heat of his stare. "That depends. Is it working?" he asked barely above a whisper, eyes wide and trained on her.
Naomi had been getting the feeling that he was holding himself back since she got there. No, she wouldn't put up barriers between them, even if they were back on Earth, even if they were technically at the student-instructor capacity again. Naomi set her glass down and moved closer to him. She turned to face him and then abruptly pulled herself over his lap, caressing his cheeks while he held her by the waist. "You tell me," she said and leaned in to tug at his bottom lip with her teeth temptingly.
Icheb shuddered deeply at the feeling of her on him and had to bite back a moan of desire. Naomi shifted in his lap, smiling devilishly, knowing what it did to him. Icheb didn't stop her from subtly grinding her hips against his now obvious arousal, instead, he reached for her and took her mouth with his. He slipped his tongue past her lips, claiming her mouth, infusing his need for her into it, his tongue slipping along her cheeks, under her own as he tasted her eagerly, their languid exploration ripping open the boiling urgency they felt.
Naomi gasped in surprise when Icheb slipped his hands under her legs and lifted her up with him abruptly, quickly carrying her directly to his bed. She held onto his shoulders as his long legs made short work of the trip, wasting no time with getting reacquainted. Naomi would be lying through her teeth if she said she hadn't had intense fantasies over this. Fantasies of her old friend, her instructor, taking her to his bed in his apartment, so close to the academy, and having his way with her. What if she had flirted back to him back then, back when things were so complicated? Would things have heated up for them sooner or gotten even more awkward?
Icheb laid her down over his bed, being the one to straddle her this time, his hands resting on either side of her head as he looked down at her. "I must confess, I have thought of doing this for many many months," he revealed hoarsely, his eyes darkening more and more by the second.
Naomi shivered at the intensity in his smoldering gaze and smiled. "Me too," she agreed, seeing the amusement dance in his eyes momentarily at the reply. Naomi sat up for a moment and they helped each other tear their clothes off, stripping each other hastily. Icheb towered above her, gazing down at her reverently, taking in the beauty before him. He leaned back then, laying a soft kiss over her belly, making her quiver and heart speed up as he began to trail open-mouthed kisses up until he reached her taut peaks. Naomi bit her lip, watching him take one into his mouth, letting her feel his teeth softly while sliding his hand over the other, rubbing, licking, suckling her until she was squealing and wriggling beneath him.
Naomi ran her fingers through his short, wavy hair, tugging on him gently. Icheb crawled up and angled himself, losing himself in her kiss, moaning when she slid her legs up his, pulling in on his hips urgently. Icheb obeyed, sinking into her, rocking forward without preamble, sparing no time and making them both hiss in satisfaction. Naomi hugged him close, arching up as he ground his body against hers roughly, the friction driving them both senseless. Icheb's mind would not let him feel relief just yet, making him have a flash of the horrible image of his love, suffering at the hands of the Borg, suffering at his hands. No! No... not now... no, he wouldn't lose her, he wouldn't! Not to them! Not... not ever.
Feeling the impossible need to protect her, to claim her as his and never let her go, Icheb lost all semblance of control.
Their bodies still linked, Icheb's irrepressible need for her overpowered him. He needed more, needed to feel her all around him, needed to hear her scream his name, desperately needed to force his thoughts to not be able to be anywhere else but there with her. Icheb pulled her legs over his shoulders again, but this time remained locked with her, leaning forward more, sliding his hands over her legs as he pushed solidly into her, connecting with her almost painfully, his length nearly pushing into her cervix.
Naomi jerked, gasping in pain at the intensely deep feeling, her body twisting upon the sheets as he rocked them hard, almost brutal in his despairing need to be with her. Each force of his formidable body made Naomi gasp louder, holding onto the bed tightly as he lost himself completely. "I-Icheb," she tried, wincing at the ferocity of his thrusts. Icheb did not slow, but part of him sensed her discomfort and felt hatred for himself, but just... couldn't stop! He couldn't control himself... but he did find enough of himself to let himself release her legs. Naomi sighed in relief, welcoming him back into her arms as he leaned in toward her again, pulling her legs back around his gyrating hips.
Searching his darkened eyes, Naomi could see the haunted look in there, that part of him not yet healed completely with his therapy, she saw the desperation for her, the loss of coherency over himself, she wouldn't be able to reach him until he had calmed down. Resigning herself to her fate, she held on to him, hugging him to her body, doing everything she could to offer him comfort, knowing he needed it beyond anything else at the moment. Wincing at the strength behind his movements, Naomi was not however barred from the unexpected pleasure that arose from the aggressiveness, pushing into him, trying to keep up. Naomi took his face in her hands, pulling him down to kiss her, relaxing a little more as he responded to her the way she was familiar with, kissing her languidly, lovingly, even as he brutally pinned her to his bed, her body jarring with each thrust.
Part of Icheb knew he was being too forceful, knew he was hurting her, but a deep ache inside him, a piece of him that was missing, screamed for him to find his missing part, to join with her as solidly as he could, fill the void. Even so, he reached down between their joined bodies, doing what he could through the clouded grind of his distorted feelings, doing what he could to give her at least some comfort. He found her sensitive little nub, rubbing her until she was convulsing in ecstasy. That part of him that still held sanity felt relieved then, sensing the pleasure from her, feeling her writhe beneath him. Naomi's pulsing pain shifted into pleasure and back again repeatedly, confusing her senses as her cries were muffled by his delving tongue.
Through the consuming fire, neither of them noticed the subtle slide of metal, the distorted, muffled sound of a crack from deep within the bed. And then Icheb's world was falling, his senses exploding in fiery vengeance as his end took him. He cried out, heaving forward with the intensity, crushingly. "Icheb!" Naomi cringed, gasping as the urgency of his completion forced him to ram himself into her that much harder. Naomi shook underneath him, gripping him tightly as finally he released inside her. As he stilled over her, Naomi bit back a painful, needful whimper, not wanting to distress him any more than he already was. She could forgo her own relief for him, would do anything for him.
Icheb panted, unrestrained tears slipping down his cheeks, red eyes blinking them away rapidly, mourning his barbaric actions. "...Forgive me..." he murmured against her, hiding his face shamefully at the crook of her neck.
Naomi said nothing, simply wrapped her arms around him and hugged him close, kissing his hair tenderly as she stroked his back soothingly. She felt him shaking against her bitterly and held him closer, doing everything she could to assure him that she was there, she was with him, and prove to him that she would never fault him, never deny him, and loved him with the ferocity of an imploding star. "Shh," she shushed him then, holding him tightly. "I love you, Icheb," she repeated to him, kissing his head tenderly.
It took him a good long while to calm down, but when he did, he pulled her close and simply held her, encapsulating her in his warmth, whispering his undying adulation for her until they slipped into fitful, deep slumber.
The next morning, Naomi frowned slightly when Icheb had yet to awaken. That was unusual for him and it concerned her a little. Placing her hand on his shoulder, she shook him gently. "Icheb?" she called, but he didn't wake up. Feeling a little bit of fear creep in, Naomi turned and leaned over him, shaking him a little hard, still nothing. For a moment Naomi felt panic, wondering if his mental trauma had forced his overloading mind into a coma... but then she saw him shift. When he suddenly jerked awake and looked up at her with confusion, she frowned worriedly again. "Icheb? Icheb, are you okay?" she asked.
Icheb blinked a few times, as though trying to regain his senses, and then focused on her. "Yes. I...I think my regulating disk might have gotten damaged last night," he told her, rubbing at his face tiredly.
Naomi gaped incredulously. "You're kidding? We've never done that before. You had one on Voyager, right?"
"Yes, but the structure of that bed was a lot more stable than this one," he mumbled.
Naomi slipped her hands over his face. "I'm so sorry," she told his, stroking his refined lines gently.
Icheb gave her a severe look and took her hands, kissing them before feathering her face with more kisses. "No!" he insisted between kisses. "No, don't you dare apologize! What I did to you... no, Naomi Wildman, It's not your fault," he said firmly, pulling back to look into her eyes. The ferocity of their coupling, his endless consuming need for her had cracked the disk, she hadn't done a thing. "It was my fault, okay?"
"Shh, okay, Icheb," Naomi agreed, reaching up to trace the lines of his face again, trying to calm him.
Icheb forced himself to relax."In any case," he added, his toned subdued, "-it is nothing I can not repair."
Naomi tried not to look at him sadly, her heart weeping for the his fractured soul. Instead, she decided to play it safe. "Will you be okay today with little sleep?" She asked him curiously.
"Naomi," Icheb smiled weakly then. "I am very familiar with sleepless nights," he assured her. "You have made sure of that," he added with a softened gaze. "How could I have done that to you?" he said then, caressing her soft cheeks tenderly.
"You weren't yourself," Naomi answered him.
"...I was a monster," he deeply frowned to himself.
Naomi knew he was exaggerating pretty dramatically, but also knew he would firmly reject any other way of describing himself. "I don't believe it," she said then.
"Whether or not you do or do not is irrelevant. I hurt you, that is a fact. I... Naomi, how could I ever make it up to you?" he begged, his heart not letting himself rest without repenting to her. "Please, tell me what I can do for you, anything. I'm yours to command."
Naomi flushed at his words but sighed in exasperation. "Icheb, I understood why you did it, I still do. I don't resent you and I don't reject you, please don't hate yourself over something like that," she implored him.
"Please... please let me," he said, holding her close, burring his face in her hair.
Naomi knew he would be inconsolable if she refused him of this, so she thought about it. What could he do for her? She wouldn't accept him doing her work for her, that just wasn't how she operated. She couldn't ask him to do menial tasks for her either, that wouldn't feel right at all. The only thing she could think of... was something related to how he felt he had faulted her. Something here, with him, together. But what? Naomi's mind suddenly flashed back to the holodeck and she felt herself flush deeply. Could she really ask him to do that? Fulfill such a dark fantasy? She knew Icheb would be hesitant, knew he would think it would hurt her... but the thought of him taking her in such an uncontrolled, primal way made her ache with need all over again.
Icheb pulled away to look at her. "Naomi?" he prompted, hearing her heart begin to race. "What is it?"
"I... I um," Naomi bit her lip, not having a single clue how to ask him of this, feeling unbelievable timidity. She was not usually the type to enjoy such dominant acts on herself, having an assertive side that reigned in her normally, but... with Icheb it was different. He was naturally very sweet and kind, the idea of him dominating her..? Fresh thrill burned deep in her belly, her cheeks turning bright red.
Icheb noticed her hesitation and could only assume it was something she would normally not ask of him. Perhaps a fantasy? If it meant he could help her feel no pain, feel as much pleasure as possible, he was willing to do anything for her. "Show me, Naomi," Icheb begged.
"I.. Icheb, it's not exactly... romantic," she explained weakly, unable to properly keep eye contact with him.
Icheb frowned thoughtfully. So he was right, it was a fantasy. He hooked her chin in his hand and tilted her over to look back at him. "If it is a fantasy you had of us, of me, then I am more than willing to help you experience it in full," he promised.
Naomi shuddered at his words, biting her lip. She still felt hesitant, but knew he would do this. Still feeling shy, instead of telling him, Naomi sat up with him, pushing him to the edge a little on the bed so she had room to turn around, sitting over on her calves. Giving him her back, she looked back over at him, hoping he understood, her face Ktarian red. Icheb's eyes widened, instantly knowing what she wanted and felt himself stir painfully. He smiled at her, nodding in understanding and crawled over a little closer.
Her neck straining slightly, Naomi turned back, her eyes boring into the headrest on his bed, shivering at the feel of his warm hand on her bare back. Icheb slid his hand up and down, as though to soothe her, before gently pushing her down on her palms. His hands slid down her back to the soft swells before him, caressing her a moment before pulling himself up a little, leaning over her, his chest grazing her back.
Naomi's heart beat a mile a second, feeling him brace his knees on either side of her legs. She shuddered in anticipation, hearing him working himself to full-mast behind her, felt his arm brush against her with his frantic movements, panting slightly, grunting with the effort. And then his hands were on her again, searching, feeling her, one of his hands slipping between her legs, spreading them, sliding over her aching core. It was everything Naomi could do to not burst right then.
While Icheb's fingers explored her deepest folds, his other hand slipped over her breasts, testing her rosy pebbles. Naomi's head dropped, her hair veiling her face as she shook, trying to keep her balance on her hands and knees. When she felt his erection push into her then, just enough for her to feel the pressure against her, continuing to rub her, Naomi tried desperately to push back on him, feeling herself unraveling very quickly... but he held her still.
Icheb knew how much she ached, could feel her warm and slick, ready for him, but he would do this right, would extend her pleasure until she could bear it no longer. He began to gentle push the tip of himself in and out, just enough to make her keen against him, her limbs losing the strength to hold herself upright. He did this until she was panting harshly and clenching the sheets tightly. "Ich..." Naomi's protest was cut off from her own hot white burning finish, blinding her as her walls closed in on herself.
At the moment of her vicious orgasm, Icheb finally pushed in slowly, past her clenching walls, crying out at the feeling of her tightly compressing his arousal from her completion. The feel of Icheb squeezing into her while she was in her throes of ecstasy forced her body to lock up tighter, forced another, stronger than the previous, tearing through her with a vengeance. Her head swam and body shook as she wept in carnality.
Icheb sighed in relief, feeling that his efforts were succeeding. He very gently began to thrust in and out, slow and methodically, keeping his own furious need for her at bay, unwilling to make her feel any discomfort again. Once Naomi's body had calmed enough, she looked back at him intensely. "Icheb, harder, ...please," she begged him in smothered frustration.
Icheb stilled, feeling uncertain. "I... it will hurt you, I don't want to hurt you again... I've done so enough already," he protested, groaning at his own restraint all the same, his words contradicted his jolting pleasure at her insistence.
"Please, I need it, cr-crave it..." Naomi moaned in frustration, having known he would resist. If she was in the right state of mind, she would have rolled her eyes... as it were, all she could do was rip at his sheets in desperation. "You won't... hurt me, please, I need you..." she panted, the feel of him so full and so still within her driving her mad.
Icheb felt his senses leave him at her plea, hearing her beg him to satisfy her nearly made him come then and there. With a strangled groan of desire, Icheb angled himself over her further, pressing her body deeper into the bed and let himself loose on her. Naomi felt her arms give away, her cheek resting on the pillow, hands clutching the sheets on either side of her head in a vice, nearly pulling them off his bed as he rode her swiftly. Her breaths were short and rough with each pounding thrust, each deep drive making little, high-pitched cries escape her as he continued to press and rub on her between their joined bodies attentively.
And then the inferno could scream no longer, the waves of pulsating lust could no longer be tempered, and Naomi found herself sobbing in pleasure, making Icheb shout at the power of her rippling finish, brutally taking hold of her, forcing his body to feel his as well. Naomi thought she couldn't experience any more than she already was, but the feel of him releasing his hot seed deep inside her from behind, his body slapping into hers lustfully at the ferocity of his orgasm, forced another out of her. Icheb braced himself over her, leaning in until Naomi could feel his body molded over hers, his breath over her cheek as they rode the exhilaration to the end.
Icheb held still for only a moment before pulling her back around, sliding her legs up on either side of him as he knelt before her. "Naomi," he began hoarsely. She blinked away the oppressing fog of pleasure to focus on him, seeing his red face, darkened expression and severe determination. The half Ktarian shuddered deeply at the smoldering, burning look in his beautiful eyes. "I will make up for causing you pain. I will not stop until I am satisfied that I have achieved my mission. I will not stop until I am sure you can not take any more," he promised her fiercely, leaning down over her again, his hands slipping over her tenderized flesh. Icheb's words and tormenting touch inspired new levels of ecstasy out of Naomi, making her cry to the heavens in rapture.
Later, after Icheb spent hours making her writhe and scream his name repeatedly, he decide by mid-afternoon that a break was in order, making Naomi sigh in relief, never having imagined he could make her feel the realm of sensations he inspired in her, and at the same time utterly exhaust her the way he did. Lounging in bed, completely spent, her throat a little rough, Naomi mentioned to Icheb that she'd like to visit her roommates, having missed them quite a bit during the mission. She smiled a little in amusement when Icheb was very reluctant to let her go, though at the same time felt exasperated by his insatiable possessiveness.
"You could always see them tomorrow and stay here?" Icheb mentioned hopefully, his arms still securely wrapped around her body.
"Icheb," Naomi chided fondly. "I can't spend the entire day here... eventually we have to get up."
"Why..." Icheb groaned, behaving very much like a spoiled child at the moment, holding her closer.
Naomi rolled her eyes. "You have work to do and I have classes to study for. Besides, I would really... like to... visit my.. ah- Icheb..." Naomi gasped, a fresh wave of heated longing ripping through her as Icheb did everything he could to persuade her to stay. "No, that's... that's not fair..." she moaned, her body arched against his delving digits along her sensitized, now once again utterly wet center.
"Fairness is irrelevant," he smiled against her back, laying a soft kiss on her shoulder. Naomi wanted to get up, she really did... but she couldn't find herself willing to stop him from pulling her beneath him again, forcing her exhausted body to feel wakeless ecstasy once again.
By early evening, Naomi managed to trick Icheb after he had paused in his ravenous efforts to make her lose her mind for sustenance and slipped into the sonic shower. She knew he would protest, but she was determined to do something productive with her free time, even if was visiting her friends. She loved Icheb with a blazing, explosive passion, but she needed a break! Naomi was glad she had the foresight to lock the door as well, relieved when Icheb didn't override it and make her give in to him again.
Icheb lay in bed, his sheets half covering his wide, muscled frame when Naomi exited the bathroom. It was very clear to see that Icheb knew how unreasonably sexy she found him and did nothing to be modest about it. He lay there with the sheets just covering his waist and part of his legs, one leg was propped up on the bed while he rested his cheek on one of his palms. His other hand lay casually over his thigh and the look on his face told Naomi that he was obviously doing that on purpose.
Damn him.
It was working too.
Naomi shivered and ached at just the sight of him, knowing his intentions were to convince her to stay. Huffing in frustration over her own traitorous body, Naomi forced herself to look away from him, the temptation to go back, sink into his warm sheets and inviting arms a little too easy to give into. Still, Naomi was glad that he made no efforts to stop her aside from trying seduce her, this time, and simply watched her preen herself in his mirror.
"You understand that I will not be able to get any work done tonight, right?" he said, his rumbling voice low, pleasantly sending more shivers down her spine.
"Yes, but it's your fault, you know," Naomi mentioned dryly, smiling at his reflection on his mirror.
A few minutes later, Naomi finally manage to 'escape' Icheb's apartment. Sneaking back into campus and trying not to limp all the way. Naomi sighed in exasperation at how sore she was, but wouldn't let the memories of why distract her. They had spent the entire day in bed, from dawn until dusk, only pausing when absolutely necessary. It was going to be unbearably difficult to focus now, but she would certainly do her best to try!
Slipping through the halls, Naomi smiled then at other, more innocent memories, remembering sneaking in or out of his place back when things were less intense, what seemed like forever ago. Making it through the dorm wing and to her room, Naomi grinned at the sound of her roommates deep in conversation, having missed them more than she thought. She unlocked the door and watched them for a while.
Sensing a presence, the girls turned toward he entrance. "Naomi!" Hannah gasped in surprise when she spotted her standing there. The cheerful full human jumped from her seat on the couch and went over to hug her. "I missed you!"
"Hannah!" Naomi laughed, hugging her back. When they pulled away, Hannah tugged at her to follow her to the couch and the girls sat.
"It is good to see you again, Naomi," T'Chea grinned.
"I'm sorry I haven't been able to communicate much with you guys," Naomi apologized.
"That's okay! Tell us about your mission, we want to know as much about your adventure as possible!" Hannah asked eagerly, eyes wide with interested. Naomi smiled fondly and set off to tell her tale, explaining in not so many gruesome details the success of the wormhole, followed by the invasion of the Borg and their grueling battle against them.
"It is most fortunate we had the means to deal with them this time!" T'Chea grimaced, not willing to think of how events might have turned out without the victory.
"If it wasn't for Icheb..." Sacrificing his sanity, she added mentally, "-we might not be here now," she shuddered, having heard of the intense fury during the battle, how he restlessly tore into his knowledge of the Borg in order to desperately find a way to defeat them.
Hannah and T'Chea noticed their friends pained expression and knew she must have been reliving something not so pleasant. "So um, when did you get back?" Hannah asked, hoping to distract her roommate.
"Hm? Oh uh..." Naomi flushed. "Yesterday..." she answered quietly. She thought of lying, but knew they would catch her at it. Naomi had never been very good at it.
"Yesterday? Why didn't you come see us?" T'Chea demanded.
"I... was somewhere else," Naomi sighed, knowing she'd have to tell them of her evolved relationship with their professor soon enough. "I was with Icheb," she revealed quietly.
"Whoa hold on, all night?" Hannah's eyes popped.
"Yes," Naomi answered, rolling her eyes at both of their stunned expressions. "I hope I don't have to remind either of you how dangerous this is to us? We... couldn't stay apart, but we're going to try to keep things as professional as we can until it isn't so illegal."
"Y-Yeah! Of course!" Hannah answered. "Wow, that's quite a change," she grinned then. "So... how is it?"
"Hannah, I don't kiss and tell," Naomi huffed, unwilling to get into all of that with her nosy friends.
"Aww come on, Naomi! Just about the entire female population is dying to know how the quiet, reserved, sexy former Borg professor is in bed!" Hannah whined, though it was clear she was also pulling her leg and just wanted to get a reaction out of her.
"You're so crude," Naomi pulled a face. "Don't make me smack you..."
"Alright alright," Hannah laughed. "I'm happy for you, you know..." an impish smile lifted her lips for a second. "It's a relief, you've been agonizing over him for over half a year! It's about time he gave in, took you to bed and screwed your brains out," she huffed with laughter at Naomi's exasperated expression, before she found herself being pushed off the couch. Hannah simply lay on the floor, still peeling with laughter at their friend's expense. T'Chea sighed tolerantly but smiled a little at the fondness hiding in Naomi's annoyed expression. Hannah's attempts at helping Naomi forget the bad times she experienced worked after all.
TBC...
End A/N: Oh jeez, I lied! A whopping 10k+ chapter! Wow, unexpected! Icheb seems to have to make it up to Naomi quite a bit. Icheb's regulating disk breaking I took from the original story, having meant it to be more funny than anything else, though in this context it is anything but. Beginning part of the chapter influenced heavily by "Any Other Name" by Thomas Newman. The love scenes were influenced by the songs "Dark Side of the Glass" and "Black Rose" both by Lori Yates again. FYI they are from the Forever Knight soundtrack, but they depict Icheb's darkness and inner demons pretty well. "Monster" by Imagine Dragons might be a fitting song for him too.
NOTE: I had some personal things come up so it may be a little bit before I update again. Expect a new chapter between the 24th of September to the 2nd of October, any time between then.
Shout Outs
The Cheshire Cheese: I am absolutely thrilled that I could offer some relief to your boring work schedule. Believe it or not I wrote that "Stay out of my head" line with you in mind! I've been re-watching the key episodes of tv show and the fan film in order for uhh you know, research and to keep my interest fueled. I imagine this Icheb would have used a similar tone as he had in the movie, though probably a little more desperate. I know what you mean about the names, the writers didn't think that through I think. Flores is very mildly based on the Argentinian soldier "Dizzy" from Starship Troopers! :)
MissSarahG1: Thank you for your kind words, I'm super excited people seem to be liking this story!