Chapter Twenty Four

Bella

He looked at me for a long time before speaking again,

"You felt responsible for Alice and I?"

"Yes, if I hadn't tried to sever my finger none of it would have happened but I knew deep inside that Edward was looking for a way out. He wasn't in love with me, just my blood, and when he saw you try to help me he made sure my little accident became a catastrophe. My blood was his way out."

Again there was a long silence as if he were afraid to say what he really wanted to. Then he got up and paced the room stroking Grace's hair as she slept on his stopped suddenly and turned back to me,

"What do you want of me Bella?"

"Of you? Nothing. I expect nothing and I ask nothing. I just thought you should meet your daughter once. As soon as I'm mobile Grace and I will be going. If you want to see her that's fine. If you don't then that's fine too. You didn't ask for her, you didn't plan for her and I don't expect anything from you. She and I will muddle along and one day when she's old enough maybe she'll ask to contact you. Then I'll tell her the circumstances of her birth, explain you are blameless. I'm sorry about all this Jasper, I don't seem to bring anyone good luck."

I was too tired to talk any more, I didn't know what to say to this man whose child I carried, this man I felt so much for and who was thinking...what? I had no idea!

If you wouldn't mind carrying Grace to bed, Char's been helping but it seems she's taken Peter out and left us alone to talk."

"Certainly, which room?"

"Yours. Grace likes it in there."

He stood up and moved slowly to the stairs as I struggled painfully to my feet again,

"Can you manage?"

"Yes I'm fine."

I watched as he carried his daughter upstairs and fixed the picture in my mind. It was a lovely sight, father and daughter, one of too few I would have to remember him by.

Jasper

Bella confused me, her lips said one thing but her emotions another. I understood that she truly believed I was happy to walk away from this situation and she was making it easy for me in her eyes, but her emotions screamed a different and even more confusing message. The love that hit me as I walked upstairs with Grace had me reeling internally. I needed to get out of here, away from her and think. I needed someone to talk to, I needed Charlotte's help. Opening my bedroom door I was hit by the scent of Bella and Grace, sweet, floral, warm and comforting. I laid her in her little bed beside Bella's and stepped back after brushing her forehead with my hand. I wanted to kiss her goodnight but I wasn't sure it was appropriate. I had no idea what to do with the little miracle who lay sleeping a few feet from me.

As I got to the door Bella had struggled to the top of the stairs and I offered to help but she just smiled at me a little sadly and shook her head,

"Thank you Jasper but I'm used to helping myself, I'll be fine."

I nodded and stepping past her went back down stairs, Charlotte was there but Peter had gone to the barn so I grabbed her,

"I need to talk to someone"

"OK, I'm someone, what's up?"

"I don't know what to do Char, I wake up from one nightmare and find myself in another. I have a baby I knew nothing about but who seems to know me, by a girl I barely ever spoke to."

"Well, what do you feel?"

"Feel? Bewildered, confused, scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Of the whole thing, of having a daughter I don't know what to do with, of Bella..."

"You're scared of Bella?"

"Yes, she's so self reliant, so strong, she doesn't need me, she confuses me. I have no idea how she feels about me or Grace. Charlotte I want to be important in her life."

"Whose?"

"Both of them. I want to be in my daughters life because she is mine, I helped to make her and I love her."

"And Bella?"

"I feel something when I'm with Bella, I actually feel things, emotions that I don't understand, that I can't pin down"

"Do you want them in your life?"

"Yes, of course"

"There is no of course Major, you have to explain to Bella. She has no idea how you really feel, if you want a relationship with her or Grace. She feels guilty..."

"Guilty about what?"

"Of having Grace without your consent or wish."

"But it wasn't her fault, she didn't know what was going on either"

"But she had Grace and she loves her it doesn't matter to her how Grace was conceived. She carried her and gave birth to her and she loves her but she can't see how you feel. She thinks you will resent her or Grace or both, as things you never asked for, never wanted."

"How could I not want a child of my own Charlotte? It's every man's dream, something I thought was an impossibility for me. I'd given up that idea as soon as I knew what I had become. Why doesn't Bella resent me? If not for me, our family, she would be happily married to some human, with children running around her, in a comfortable house of her own, with a husband who comes home from work to see her, feeling its all worthwhile because she's there waiting for him. A man who brings her little presents, who takes her out, plays with his children, and makes love to her at night. What has Bella got? A baby conceived in some bizarre experiment, no husband, no home, no security, and the baby's father? He's a vampire, a killer, more likely to crave her blood than her body. Too cold to cuddle up with at night, too stone cold to wrap her in his arms and tell her how much he wants her, how his silent heart warms at her smile, his hands want nothing more than to take her and pull her close. Who wants to give her all the things she deserves, a home full of love, full of all the things she's ever wanted. How can I tell her all that Charlotte?"

"Well you just told me"

"That's not the same"

"No its not, because you're telling the wrong person. Bella needs to know all that, she doesn't have your gift to give her any clues, she's working blind"

He looked at me, frustration on his face.

"Major, why don't you take her out, just the two of you so you can talk"

"Where?"

"I don't know, where do you normally take a girl on a date?"

"A date?"

"For Gods sake stop parroting me. Now get upstairs and talk to Bella before you lose her and Grace for ever."