Here's the next chapter! Enjoy! I do not own Mockingjay.

Ch. 19

The doctor had come in shortly after Delly had left; his head hung low searching over the notes he had written down on a clipboard. Delly's words didn't seem to leave me, replaying over and over again in my head. She thinks the Peeta all of them love is still there which is nothing short of a miracle. In all honesty her words give me more hope than what the doctors could have ever given to me in a million years.

"Peeta it seems that you've made many leaps and bounds in these past weeks. The guards said you were controlling yourself from exploding, which is huge progress." He has sat down at the chair that Delly had just left minutes ago. I wish it were her telling me this news, not the guy that I hadn't even bothered to learn his name.

"Is it true?" I find myself not being able to comprehend his words. I only hear his voice and recognize his presence, but my thoughts are consuming and I can think of nothing else.

"What Peeta?" He asks me, for once looking up from his multitudes of notes and up into my face. He didn't do that often and it was mostly only to get my attention when he did. I guess that's the reason I didn't like him that much; he didn't try to connect.

"What Delly said, am I becoming me again?" I'm not sure how he would know, he only knows me as I am now. The only way he could know about the old Peeta was if other people told him, but I don't know if the few people that did know me would really want to open up to him. I guess, if he some how confirmed it, I could really actually believe it. I wouldn't have to let it consume my every thought, I would actually know.

"Peeta, I thought you knew. We have no idea what Delly said just now. We were giving you some privacy." I feel like getting up and giving the guy a hug because that's all I've wanted for quite some time now. I'm thankful they weren't listening. "But I'll try and answer best I can, what did she say?"

"She said I was becoming me again. That I'm still in there picking up the pieces getting ready to come out." I say. The doctor pauses for a second, looks down at his notes some more, and then finally sets them on the table beside me and looks at me.

"The way I see it, you never really left. The brain is a very complex thing, but I don't think it ever loses its sense of self even after this horrible trauma you've been through. Take Annie Cresta for instance, she suffered this great trauma when she was young and then she was pushed into the real world and told to be absolutely and completely normal. And why not? The other Victors had done it. But something in her brain couldn't take it. I bet if you look at her before the Games and after you would see the same person. I mean sure, now she's more sensitive and sometimes needs to go into herself to be okay, but she's still Annie." He pauses and looks at me, to see if I get it. I nod my head for him to go on.

"I mean sure, the guy everyone out there knew was gone for awhile, but I have heard it from Haymitch and Delly and even Sky who knew very little about you, that you are acting like him. We can't expect you to be the same exact guy, but who is the same person they were when they were in their teenage years? You've been through a great deal Peeta, and change is going to happen, but I don't see why you can't be a lot like the guy all of them used to know."

It's the most I've ever heard the guy talk. An insight into how the doctor sees it is good sometimes. It's not just someone's opinion; it's the doctor's with his vast knowledge of how things work. His words will at least put my mind at rest for a little while longer.

Later that evening they tell me I have a visitor. I don't expect Johanna Mason to walk in the door though. She looks almost there. I'm not sure where there is, but she is definitely better than the girl I knew from the weekly visits. She didn't give up after that. I respect it.

"Listen." She says slamming into the chair and kicking her feet up to rest on my bed. She really knew how to make herself at home. "I don't know why you think you have some edge on pain and suffering because you don't."

"I know." I say quickly, she gives me a glare and moves to go on.

"Do you? Because the way you acted when someone told you something blunt or real was like you were some lost puppy dog. We've all been through the wringer, but we keep going. You're a victor! You have to keep fighting!" I don't know why she's practically yelling at me or why she's changed her position so her face is inches away from mine, but something at the table had seemed to set her off. Something I said had been bothering her all day.

"Why are you here?" I say over her. With my voice raised like that I doubt they were giving me privacy now.

"Because she is trying! She is trying and you're sitting here doing nothing. You have to fight don't you? After all they've done to you don't you want to fight?" That's why she's here, to get me to move, to get me to help with the revolution. But how was I supposed to help take over the Capitol when I couldn't even remember who I was?

"I know you don't believe it, but she's had it as bad as you. So don't say you have some edge on all of us. At least try and help. At least try to stop this madness." She kicks her feet onto the ground and then leaves with the giant slam of the door. She was right I didn't like the Capitol. She was right I should try to fight.

Sorry that took forever to update!

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