Here's the next chapter! Enjoy! I do not own Mockingjay.

Ch. 20

"Listen. They think you're ready to move out. So, you probably are." Haymitch is urging me to get out of the bed. It would be nice to have a real bed, a real private room. A life to myself. I doubt the doubt the doctors watching over me would help piece myself together anymore than a complete stranger. Maybe they'll let me start training.

I had talked to my doctor about it, who in turn had gone and talked to the President here. Coin, he said was her name. She seemed to have a lot of power here, people seemed to fear her. The doctor had came back with his shoulders sank after he had talked to her. He said that she would think about it, but he didn't seem positive.

It was a couple days after that and Haymitch had come into my room in a hurry. They're letting you leave, he had said, so come on. I wasn't sure why I was so apprehensive. I wanted this freedom didn't I? I mean it was almost as if I needed it to move on with my life, but I had gotten better in this room. It had become my home.

I usually wasn't sentimental, but here I was, being sentimental and I hated it. I also think it was more than just sentiments part of me thought I would explode. Who knew? I could kill people. I could kill myself. With people watching me 24/7 I felt safe.

If I go out there, if I try to be normal, it could be the worst thing ever. That's what I fear. Doing something so crazy, that really, under any circumstance, I would never be able to be the Peeta they all want ever again.

"But what if I do something?" I ask, still sitting still and not moving. Even if I wanted to move, I'm not sure if my body would let me.

"Like what? They won't let you do anything. They're much stricter than they were back home. Heck they won't even let me drink!" He says pull the sheets away from my body.

"What if I can't control myself?" I ask.

"That's what this is for." He holds up a steel bracelet. Half of the contraption I had to wear the other day. It would knock me out if anything went wrong, that at least, made me feel better.

He moves over to me and puts it on. It was too tight, there was no way I could take it off myself and Haymitch locks it with a key. I thank whoever thought of this. It isn't good that I'm afraid of myself, but it's good that I feel better about it with this on my wrist.

"I'll be by myself?" I ask him. He looks impatient and like he has much better things to do today than help his crazy tribute. I get it, he didn't sign up for emotional support. He didn't really sign up for any of this, but neither did I.

"Yes, but Delly lives right across the hall. They wanted you two to live together, but I told them that wasn't the best idea." He looks at me and turns away. He begins to pace his way throughout the whole room, which wasn't that big. A few steps that way, a few steps this way. He circled the whole room within a matter of seconds.

"Why not?" I ask. I felt annoying for being curious, but it was good to know the answer to things. That way I didn't have to be so confused.

"Delly's fragile. She may not act like it around you, but the way you acted in the cafeteria the other day really hit her hard. To say the least being your friend was really easy before all this. Now it seems like it's even harder than winning this revolution." I'm not exactly taken aback by his words because I knew it was true, but it didn't seem like it was hard for Delly. She always seemed genuinely happy to see me when she came in. I didn't know it had taken such a toll on her.

"It's been hard for her?" I ask him. Another question.

"Of course. It's been hard for all of us." He stops pacing and grabs my hand to make me stand. I don't know why I thought something like this would be easy for anyone, let alone Delly. It always surprised me how easily she handled all of this. I guess there was another side to all of this that I had no means to seeing. They could watch every moment of my life, but I couldn't do the same with them.

I do feel bad for all the burden I had put on little, sweet Delly Cartwright. She deserved a good healthy friend that would be there for her as much as she would be there for them. I found myself feeling bad a lot and I guess even though I was leaving the 24/7 surveillance, today wasn't the day I was going to start feeling better.

Sorry that was such a short chapter! It's almost to the part where he goes to the Capitol, so hopefully things will pick up there!

Don't forget to REVIEW on the way out! Thanks! ~boywithbreadlover