Chapter Twenty Six
Bella
We didn't talk again until he picked up the picnic from a small store in town them turned the car round and drove back past the track to Peters place,
"Is it far?"
"No, but if you're hungry or you changed your mind I can stop."
"No I'm fine, I just wondered."
About twenty minutes later he pulled off the road and parked up in a small cut out in the trees. Walking around he opened my door and helped me out with a shy smile. He picked up the picnic basket and held his arm for me again then walked slowly along a narrow path which soon opened out into a little clearing beside a small creek.
"Its beautiful"
He smiled and spread a rug out helping me down onto it then unpacked the picnic, a bottle of wine, fresh rolls, assorted cheeses, pickles and thick slices of ham then two huge slices of fruit pie.
"All this for me?"
"Well I could hardly ask for a picnic for one. Just eat whatever you want, we can take the rest back, Grace might like some of the pie"
"Oh I'm sure."
I helped myself while Jasper opened the bottle of wine and poured two glasses. I looked at him and smiled,
"You don't need to do that"
"Oh I like the smell of wine even if not the taste."
I smiled and took a bite of roll then between bites I spoke,
"Jasper what happened to you?"
"I was too trusting Bella, something I'm not normally accused of."
Jasper
I told her the story of Rosalie's offer and the trap I walked into willingly.
"How did you survive so long in that place?"
"I lived in my head, my memories, my human life, my vampire one, you"
"Me?"
"Yes I thought about you a lot, from the first time I saw you and the last look you gave me. You seemed to understand what I was trying to do if the others didn't."
"I did, I knew you didn't attack and I told Edward that"
"But he still left to keep you safe"
"I think Edward left because he couldn't keep me safe from himself, I saw his eyes while I lay there bleeding, he was struggling."
"Do you ever think of him now?"
"Yes but only because he made me mad. Heartbroken at first but the longer I thought about him the angrier I got. He chickened out and used you as an excuse."
"And now?"
"I don't care one way or the other. The naive starstruck girl is dead, she died when he left, Bella Swan is a different person now"
"Yes, a woman with a child"
"And I don't regret that"
"I'm glad"
"When you were in that tank did you know anything Rose was doing?"
"Not really, your body doesn't seem to exist any longer and I was very weak from thirst. I felt pain sometimes but by the time I'd dragged my mind back to reality it was usually over. I didn't know what she was doing to me, most of the time"
"And the others?"
Bella
He turned away and looked sad and disgusted,
"A couple of times I felt Rosalie stimulating my body but the feelings were dull and detached from my brain. I thought she was getting her kicks out of using me but now I know why."
"Yeah, she got the fun, I got the baby" I laughed,
He looked at me,
"The fun?"
I swallowed nervously then took a deep breath,
"Why? Isn't it supposed to be fun?"
"I guess so although I always felt I was doing a favour, that it wasn't for me so Rose was no different in that respect"
"What about Alice? Oh sorry I shouldn't have said that"
"Yes you should. If we can't be open I don't think we're going to get anywhere Bella. Alice was different, she made it fun I guess but I always thought there should be more, that I should feel more. I thought my past had killed something inside me. Maybe it has, who knows. Anyway as we were saying...would you like more wine?"
Jasper
She held out her glass and I noticed her hand was shaking slightly,
"Are you cold or scared?"
She shook her head,
"Neither, I'm fine"
I took my jacket from the blanket and wrapped it round her shoulders anyway and she pulled it tighter around her.
"We can go back if you like, its getting cooler now"
"No, I'm enjoying myself for the first time in a while, when Grace is asleep anyway."
"She keeps you going during the day"
"Yes but she's very good, quiet and thoughtful"
"She's beautiful"
"She has her fathers face"
I laughed at that,
"Poor mite."
"I think you have a beautiful face"
Her hand came up and touched my face very gently then she withdrew it and I wanted to scream, don't take it away. When she touched me something clicked inside, a fire was coaxed into life in the icy waste of my chest.
"Bella I need to ask you something"
"Go ahead"
"I would really like it if you and Grace would set up home with me,"
"I don't know Jasper"
"Please give me a chance"
"Is that what you want? A chance? You're not offering because you think you should?"
"No. I'm asking you to give me a chance to prove I can make it, with you and with my daughter."
She looked at me in silence then picked up the wine I'd been holding and took a sip from it before handing it to me.
"You have no idea what I feel right now do you?"
I started to shake my head before I realized her feelings were coming through loud and clear, excitement, happiness and...a warmth for me."
"You will?"
She nodded,
I want to be with you, for Grace's sake but also for mine. Since I found out about Grace I've been drawn closer and closer. Char moved me from the guest suite to your room because it was the only room I felt comfortable in. I slept with your photographs around me and your tee-shirt in my hand. Something happened even before then, when I found your room in Forks trashed and salvaged what I could and didn't know why. It became almost an obsession to find you. I fooled myself that it was a path to finding Carlisle but that was a lie. I needed to find you, so you see I can't walk away unless you want to. I think I'm in love with you Jasper."
She leaned over and kissed me softly on the lips. My breath hitched in my chest and the ember lit such a short time ago burst into flames.
Bella
I just couldn't help myself as he sat there looking at me so seriously, as if his life depended on my reply but as I kissed him I realized that was true. His life, his future, depended on my answer to him, he wanted it as much as I did. I heard his whispered answer,
"I've waited a lifetime to hear those words said with meaning Bella"
I was in his arms before I had time to take a breath and the kiss was so sweet and tender, as if being kissed by an angel, but an angel with passion. I put my arms around his neck and held tightly ignoring my protesting ribs. I never wanted to let him go, as my eyes were shut I worried I might open them to see he was a ghost of a man, my fantasy man. When he pulled his lips reluctantly from mine so I could breathe he continued to kiss my face, my neck, as if to break contact would break the spell.
I started to shiver as the air got colder and he pulled away,
"I think I should take you home"
"Home?"
"Well Peters will do in the short-term but we'll find a place of our own, as long as you're sure."
He helped me up and packed the picnic things away as I limped to the car opening the back to throw the blanket in. As I put a foot inside I felt a crunch and cried out as I felt the empty soda bottle break under my bandaged foot. The pain as the glass sliced through the strapping and into my flesh was sickening but the thought of my blood worried me more. Not that Jasper would attack, I was absolutely sure he wouldn't. It was the temptation I was causing him, especially after his ordeal with Rosalie. I knew he was still gaining his strength, his eyes were still too dark.