Here's the next chapter! Enjoy! I do not own Mockingjay.

Ch. 22

The training consisted of many things, but most of the time it was me out of breath or me failing at the things the other much younger teenagers could do. Lying in a hospital bed for weeks wasn't the best for my body and when the drill sergeant made me run four miles the first day I about died. One thing about being through all this trauma, I knew how to persevere.

Soldier York, the person in charge of me and all my other fellow trainers, was told to take pity on me I'm sure because whenever I was breathing too hard or I was a second away from passing out she would look at me and wearily ask if I wanted a break. She always looked proud when every time, with out fail I said, "No, ma'am." I could tell she wasn't happy about having to put up with me, but I made it a little easier by not playing the injured card.

I began to excel at things with in the second week. The first week was a lot of discouragement, but the second week was completely different. It began to show that I knew how to handle weapons and that the muscles that had lain dormant were still in there waiting to be used. By the beginning of the third week I was up a level. I was hoping that maybe I'd be able to fight.

I want to die doing something for the better of these people. My old self-wanted to see what happened once the Capitol was defeated, but I really could care less. I just know that I want all these people that are fighting so hard to be free and I want to be able to help. So I hope they send me to fight, and I hope I die in a battle. What ever comes after won't be good for me. I don't have my family, I don't have many people that care for me anymore, dying with the Capitol seems to be the best choice.

I decide to ask Haymitch if I can go fight in the middle of the third week. I'm hoping that I'll ask him, he'll ask Coin, and she'll let me through. She seemed to like me okay, which I hope meant she'll let me do what I please. Though I have realized that if it's not in Coins plan then it isn't in any ones plan. Me going to fight has to be in her plan or I'm rendered useless, and I don't want to be useless.

"Haymitch!" I call to him as I see him walking quickly through the halls. I had just left the dining hall and didn't expect to see him until tonight, but there he was and I couldn't wait to see him. Even though I'm sure he heard me, he doesn't turn around or slow down. I'm left to try and catch up with him.

Finally after almost tripping over a pale girl in the drab clothes of Thirteen I reach him, but he quickens his pace and acts as if I'm not beside him. "Haymitch! Haymitch! Would you just stop for a second?" I say exasperated, and then finally he stops.

"What? Is it really important?" He looks angry, though not at me because there was no way he could be angry with me. I hadn't had a break out in over a week and hadn't directly talked to him in over two days. Something was going on that I had no clue about.

"Well, why are you in such a hurry first?" I ask talking slowly just to anger him. I kind of made it a game to see how loud I could make Haymitch talk during our conversations. After awhile he just got tired of it and left the room usually. It was really the only entertainment I got.

"They're sending Katniss off to the Capitol if she passes this test today. I'd like to watch. I've got five minutes to get there which gives you two minutes. So if you have something really important to tell me, spit it out or wait." He says these sentences with perfect precision in a matter of seconds, with out alcohol Haymitch was quick and alert, a totally different person.

"I want to fight." I say just as quickly as him. I could tell he was serious about the time and though more time would be nice I wanted to tell him now.

"Peeta, seriously?" He looks at me as if that was the craziest thing I had ever said.
"What? With all the Capitol has done to me, I want to hurt them. I don't care if I die. In fact I want to die so the people in the Districts can have good lives. Besides I don't want to keep hurting you and Katniss and Finnick and Gale. I want you guys to have good lives with out me. And I don't just want to die. I want to die fighting for the good of this country, of these people that deserve it. Don't tell me I'm crazy." I say.

I stare him right in the eye as he looks like he's about to consider it, but then he something dings in his head and he looks down to a watch on his wrist.

"Walk with me." He says and picks up his pace to just right before a run. "I get what your saying, but who says you won't go crazy on the battle field and turn the gun on one of our own. Peeta in this war we don't need unstable. We need people that we're sure will fight for us. I'll ask some people, but I'm not promising anything." We reach an open elevator and he slides in. The doors close and I'm left by myself.

The conversation discouraged me. I hadn't even thought about it that way. I'd been so stable in my thinking lately that I forgot how very unstable I could be. I do know that things are confusing a lot, but would I really turn around shoot my fellow comrade?

I'm excited to get to the parts in the Capitol! Also I mentioned doing a short five chapter fic pre-epilouge, which I would need a title for so I'm opening that up to all of you! Something creative! Also I'm writing a long one chapter fic in the point of view of Katniss. It probably won't be down for a while, but I just wanted to mention it!

Don't forget to REVIEW on the way out! Thanks! ~boywithbreadlover