Here's the next chapter! Enjoy! I do not own Mockingjay, any direct quotes will be in italics.

Ch. 37

"Peeta," Katniss' voice is detached, but urgent. She calls for me as if I was her own. As if she loved me more than anything. Where had this come from?

The monster screams, pushing against the wall that now began to crumble. Katniss? She was the monster. She was the target. She was supposed to die.

Katniss? I loved her. She was my everything. I would do anything for her.

I wrench my fingers up against the cuffs, as if I could control my fingers, I could control my mind. It wasn't true that lie I told myself, I was falling apart, I was about to break. A small grasp on a cliff that over looks a deep canyon, I was about to die, and it wasn't going to be at the hands of a poisonous pill, or even a gun, but my own subconscious. The little Peeta Mellark that was still there was now barely breathing. How was I even still able to think?

"Peeta," She says it again, more urgent, her small hands grasp my hands away from my face. It's a split reality. She was beautiful, but oh, so ugly. Her small stature was comforting, but so horribly evil. The wall I had put up only hours ago was now crumbling into oblivion. I prepared for the explosion.

Goodbye, I will miss you, your beauty.

I'm not sure who this is whispered to, Katniss? For her love? Or the world, even after all the horrible things it had done to me, it had given me this life, and Katniss, and the sunsets that I hadn't painted in ages.

Clarity.

I remember back, clearly, to the day of the reaping. I remember vividly how it felt to feel my stomach fall to the ground, how utterly helpless I felt, how I was kind of happy to hear my name called, though at the same time I wasn't. And I remember, those nights in the cave, in between safety and danger. So perfect. I remember the long nights in the train were she let herself open up to me. I remember the day on the roof before we went back in. I wish I was back there, right now. On the beach when I begged her to live, when I realized hopelessly that she wouldn't listen to me. I see it with out the tainted shininess, they're real and they're mine and they give me something, but not enough.

"Leave me," I say to her, so perfect, her grey eyes, so lovely her lips are, "I can't hang on." The monster has become more evident and I can't grasp at the memories I had just seen anymore, they have slipped out of my fingers quicker than anything else has before. An alarm to run signals in my brain, but a conflicting call to cease fire also calls through. I am about to die.

"Yes. You can!" A call to fight, a call to go on, still not enough. She hangs onto my hands tightly though I'm sure the grip is restricting blood to her fingers. Right now I don't think she cares. She is losing me, her love, she just has not accepted it yet. Like my Dad, after all those years, still looking longingly at her mother. It's never expected of one to forget about the love of their life, but there is a time when you must let go.

"I'm losing it. I'll go mad. Like them." I could feel it coming. I could feel the adrenaline pulsing quickly through my veins. I could imagine the pain, and loss, and turmoil that was about to happen at my hands. They needed to flee. They needed to leave. I would cause nothing but grief.

I can't stop her from moving forward, or even run away from her lips on my mouth. A part of me that isn't me at all jerks through out my body and tries to kill her. But another part that is me, all me, takes the power away from the part that isn't me. The memories weren't enough and the words weren't enough, but the kiss, so rushed and urgent and powerful was. I remember the first time, I was nearly dead, like now, and the kiss wasn't nearly so passionate. How foolish had I been to believe that, that kiss had been real, because this kiss right now was the realest thing I had ever experienced before.

The monster, tries to gain strength, but I have already began to rebuild the wall, and it calls out one final time when she removes her lips from mine. For one second it makes her look evil, but then right after the wall is made firm again.

"Don't let him take you away from me." She whispers urgently with rough breaths into my ear. I was foolish for ever thinking that she didn't care for me.

"No. I don't want to…" It's an answer to my monster, to her too. I didn't want to die and I didn't want Snow to win. Because the thing was, he already had with Finnick and Mags and my family and Boggs and Rue, sweet, Rue. He had already won so many times and I didn't want him to win anymore.

"Stay with me." Says Katniss, her eyes waiting for the response that I remember perfectly. I would never leave her, I had made that promise ages ago.

"Always," I answer breathlessly.

This chapter was very emotional to write and to read it after writing. I hope you like my interpretation on the hijacking and how I separate him from the monster. I find it best to write it that way, because I never saw Peeta as the enemy, he honestly never could be, it was what Snow did to him that made him the enemy. It's not him, it's the monster.

Please, I do really want your opinion on this one, if you would please take the time to review it would be much appreciated. I also like it when people PM me! Thanks! ~boywithbreadlover