Chapter 10
Drive On
When they got to the main floor and exited the building Amy was shocked to see Karma walk straight ahead to where her car was parked, right there on the street, just ten steps from the building. Not only did Karma have her own spot in a place where it was impossible to find parking, Karma also had a sleek black sports car that looked identical to the one Lauren owned.
"Did I miss something?" Amy asked.
"Hmm?" Karma stopped out in front of her and turned around to find out what was wrong. When she turned her hair blew back in the hot breeze and Amy felt herself unnecessarily take a gasp of breath into her lungs before she could speak.
"Do all female lawyers drive this car or?" Amy paused to tease.
"Oh!" Karma laughed. "I used to have Lauren take my car to pick up documents for me from other firms. I guess she liked it," Karma laughed. And how unlike Lauren to steal someone else's style. Lauren was usually the queen of originality. In actuality the whole thing was a gift to Lauren for winning a huge case. But Karma didn't want to out Lauren if Lauren wanted it a secret for this reason or that. Secrets were tricky. Karma tried to never tell other people's truths. Especially in court, this rule of hers could be very hard to stick to.
"Oh," Amy said, giving a head nod just to pretend it all made any sort of sense in her world. Lauren never talked about Karma. This was all so strange. It was almost like Lauren had been keeping secrets about everything in her life until this past week. So why now? Why with the change?
Amy was standing out on the curb and feeling dumbfounded. All the odd sister behavior had gotten her in a funk. But Karma mistook that funk as car-envy when she saw Amy's face.
"Uh, this always happens," Karma smiled. "You wanna drive it, don't you?" People loved her car, they just did. It was this whole big thing. She never anticipated it upon purchasing the thing. She just thought it looked cute. Plus it was almost forced on her by one of her clients who cut her an insane deal given the result of a big money case.
"Wha? A-yeah, yeah," Amy lied. She didn't really care. Amy was a paranoid sort of person. She'd never want to wreck someone's car. Especially a nice car that obviously cost A LOT of money.
"Of course," Karma said, walking toward her and using both of her hands to ensure that the keys fell into Amy's hand and landed their firmly. "Be my guest," she insisted. The touching was a thing now. Karma liked it. She could feel herself craving it.
Fuck Liam, she thought. Liam had been that final push in accepting the car. Liam said she looked sexy in the car. Liam was an asshole though. So fuck Liam, she thought again.
"Oh," Amy said, snapping out of it. She walked to the passenger door and opened it for Karma. Then she took Karma's hand and helped her inside.
"I could get used to this," Karma blushed.
"Me too," Amy smiled, her Lauren thoughts were somewhere far off now. Something about the way Karma openly looked at her sent away all her cares.
She got behind the wheel and exhaled to flush away all her nerves. Well, she tried but her nerves still stuck. Karma's keys weren't really keys. Amy stared down at them with a confused look on her face.
"Here," Karma said, taking Amy's hand and using it to press the start button on the dash.
"Whoa," Amy said. The car started up quick and then hummed ever so quietly. The air pushed out and blew only a second of heat before switching almost instantly to cold air.
"And now," Karma said, moving Amy's hand to the stick near the wheel. "Is your foot on the break?" Karma asked. Amy felt her so close to her. She felt Karma's low voice in her ear. It was hard not to just shut her eyes and enjoy it.
"Mmmhmm," Amy shook her head nervously. She rarely drove and when she did drive she drove the basic cheap 4-door, the first car she'd ever owned, that now barely moved at times and sounded like a roaring disaster whenever it met a small hill. This was a different type of drive and it hadn't even begun. The car they were now in could easily overtake a high mountain without a peep.
"Okay," Karma said, using Amy's hand to move the lever over the D. "She's all yours."
She's all yours, Amy heard. The words came out slower than they should have. They spun around in Amy's mind. She's all yours, they said. With caution, Amy let go of the break and felt as the car smoothly began to roll without even a push.
Karma instantly laughed. Sitting beside her, Amy was stiff as a board.
"What?!" Amy asked nervously. She had her hands at 10 and 2 and she was sitting up oddly off the back of the seat just in case.
"You're like scared of it," Karma noticed humorously.
"Bullshit," Amy said, slamming her foot down on the gas and holding tight as the small car jumped up to 60 without a moment's hesitation. "HOLY SHIT!" Amy screamed. She let her foot off the gas immediately but the car kept going at high speed!
"BREEEEEAAAKKKKSSS!" Karma screamed, helping Amy to hold the wheel since Amy was obviously frazzled.
Amy switched from one pedal to the next and the car hopped a little, losing traction before curving just a bit stopping fast in the middle of the empty road.
"Yeahhhhhh," Karma breathed, her heart racing and her voice uncharacteristically high-pitched. "Maybe I should drive after all."
"Maybe," Amy huffed. She didn't like how easy it was to lose control.
They both sat in their seats and breathed heavily. They were thankful to be alive and lucky to not have hit someone or something.
"Here," Karma said, moving the car to park. She got out of the car and delicately walked in front of the car in a tremendous show of trust. It was almost like she was deactivating a bomb.
From inside the car Amy felt her heart pounding in her chest.
"Sorry," Amy said as Karma opened the driver-side door and offered her a hand.
"Its fine," Karma smiled, already recovered from her near-death experience. In all seriousness it was definitely not the first time that had happened to her.
She helped pull Amy out and braced Amy near her hip when she seemed unused to standing in the heat.
"You okay?" Karma asked.
"I dunno," Amy confessed. She fell a little onto Karma, her hand on Karma's shoulder keeping her balanced. It was almost like they were dancing for a moment, or maybe just thrown together as awkward teens. But then Amy moved to stop herself from feeling less than yet again.
Carefully, Karma walked Amy around to her door and opened it. Amy sat down inside and felt stupid for fucking up so badly. Her temper always got to her. Karma had laughed and Amy took that as a challenge.
Karma got back in, she fixed the rearview mirror and started the car moving without flaw. The car drove so smooth under Karma's control. It was even different than riding with Lauren. The road lay out before them but to Amy it felt almost like a tv screen displaying a picture that could not affect her.
After a minute without speaking Karma looked over to Amy and noticed how mortified she seemed. To ease her stress Karma took Amy's hand in hers and held it.
"So," she said. "Where exactly are these donuts?"
Amy squeezed her hand back and let out a little laugh.
"Don't you have a favorite place?" Amy asked.
"Home," Karma confessed, thoughts nipping at the back of her brain, thoughts of home, thoughts of how far away it seemed. Home seemed like a place she couldn't return to really. Home was the past and so was family. It had been so long since she had actually felt like an Ashcroft it seemed… "We can't go there though," Karma decided.
"Is it far?" Amy asked, feeling serious without really knowing why.
"Kind of," Karma said. And Amy could feel that there was more Karma was keeping inside.
"Let's just go," Amy pushed.
"It's probably farther than you'd like to go," Karma said.
"You'd be surprised," Amy sighed. She looked out at the familiar sights and wished she could be somewhere else too. A beach would be nice. Some place where she wouldn't have to try so hard. That'd be great.
"What're you thinking?" Karma asked, noticing Amy's downtrodden mood.
"I'm thinking I'd like to stop trying," Amy said. "Like, for once."
"Oh…" Karma said. "I'd like that too."
They both spent so much time trying to please everyone else. They didn't really know that about each other. On the surface they could feel it but they didn't really know, not yet anyway.
Amy turned her body in towards Karma's chair and curled her body up on the seat tucking her legs under her skirt.
"I'm not very good at this," she confessed.
Somewhere between the top floor of the office and the curbside with the car Amy had remembered that she was bad at pretending to not be exactly who she was. She was bad at entertaining. Bad at a lot of things.
"What're you talking about," Karma smiled. She kept driving until she pulled into a familiar parking lot that Amy knew.
"Not here," Amy said, panicked. She looked to her right and saw Reagan getting off of her bike. "Not here, hurry," Amy said.
"Okay, okay," Karma said, taking her hand away and driving quick to avoid whatever it was Amy didn't want to deal with.
Every time they started to connect something would happen. Karma gripped the wheel and tapped the gas, taking them from one edge of the parking lot to the next. Before exiting the strip-mall all together she stopped and felt heavy.
"If you don't want to be out with me, that's fine," Karma said, resigned.
"What?" Amy said, turning back to see the effect her panic had on Karma. "No. No, I want to be out with you, it's not that."
"What is it then?" Karma asked, looking up at her sadly.
"That's my old firm back there," Amy said, motioning her head back toward the place she was familiar with.
"Where?" Karma asked, looking back.
"The girl on the bike," Amy said, using the side mirror to watch as Reagan got off of her bike and went inside of Ruiz & Ward.
"Oh," Karma said, seeing her too. "Who's that?" She asked.
"That is Reagan Ruiz," Amy said, her heart speeding just at the name.
"She's pretty," Karma said, turning to Amy with an odd smile.
"Yeah, so are you," Amy teased and poked Karma in the side. "Come on, can we get outta here please?"
"Why don't you want to see her?" Karma asked, refusing. She had Amy in a bit of a lockdown. Amy couldn't leave the car without being seen so she had to stay and talk.
"She didn't know I was leaving," Amy said. "And I was very bad with my delivery," Amy swallowed her own bitterness down.
"You could still go part-time ya know," Karma suggested.
"Too late for that," Amy said. She'd burnt her bridges.
"So what, you're just never going to talk to her again?" Karma asked with skepticism urging her on.
"It's complicated okay? It's not like I can just tell you who she is and you'll just know what it was like working there."
"What is it like then?" Karma pushed. She was almost intrigued by how difficult Amy was being. Most people loved to talk about their stupid messed-up lives but Amy had been avoiding it this whole time and Karma didn't even know that until now.
Amy shot Karma a pitiful death-stare. It was supposed to be a BACK OFF but it came out more like a please don't ask me about this right now, please.
"Okay," Karma said, shaking her head and getting ready to drop it and drive. "You don't owe me a thing, okay? And you don't have to tell me anything." Karma turned her signal on and it clicked a few times before she started to turn out of the lot. "I'd just really like it if you did." She added on at the very last.
Amy sat beside her balling her hand into a fist and then letting it go time after time.
Somewhere deep inside Karma was sure that her and Amy were going to be good friends. It was a strange feeling but a strong one she couldn't ignore.
"We're in no hurry," Karma reminded herself out loud but Amy overheard and thought it was for her.
"You can stop now," Amy said.
"Oh, can I?" Karma asked, snapping too and seeing another local donut place on her right.
"Yeah," Amy said. This place was her actual favorite. Cash only. Sign half broken. Same sleepy Asian lady always inside.
"Oh good, I'm starving," Karma teased. She didn't even like donuts that much but she'd like them for Amy because Amy had stayed and no one else ever did that for her.