"If I'm being honest, it used to frighten me. The idea of being human. It made me feel so… alone."
Castiel looked up from where he sat, meeting Dean and Sam's eyes to make certain they didn't take insult.
"I'm grateful for you both. But – it's hard to explain. As an angel, I was connected to everything, all the time. This world, its hopes and prayers, deaths and sorrows, they were always with me. In the background. It was like… being in a busy coffee shop. You don't really notice all the life and energy around you, take for granted that it's there. Until it's not."
He swallowed, then. His grace gone for months now, this time for good, Cas was gradually becoming used to the silence humans lived with. He had been sad at first, but week by week, Sam and Dean had given him new and better noises with which to fill the emptiness.
He could no longer hear the passing of a star, but he could hear the sizzle of bacon in a pan, the low hum of Dean singing along to the little radio they kept near the stove, the one you had to tease the music from by wrestling with a broken antenna. There was no longer the chatter of "angel radio," but Sam would read to him, whether research or the daily news, the younger Winchester never addressing the issue directly, but patiently aware that Castiel was in need of his voice, no matter the topic. Beautiful human sounds to buffer the loss of eternity.
The brothers didn't say anything, and for their patience with him, Castiel smiled gratefully, if a little awkwardly.
"I just want you to know… thank you. For this. For all of it. It's been so very, very long since I felt like I had a home. A family."
Cas breathed deep and exhaled, his hesitation riding out on his breath.
"I'm glad to be human."
Dean, to Castiel's relief, didn't tease. He didn't even pull away when Cas gave his cold hand a small, tight squeeze of appreciation. And Sam was smiling, just as he always did these days. Getting the expression to look natural had taken a bit of crude effort, but once the job was done, Castiel was glad to see him happy for a change.
"I'm glad to be human," he repeated.
The bunker echoed with laughter, and Castiel, appreciative of the sound, didn't even realize it was his own.