*This story is pretty fun to write. I like this world for them. It's an AU, yes, but, this is technically a future world for both Liam and Karma. Lauren and Amy and Shane haven't really grown differently at all from the show but Liam and Karma have. It's like I get to jump ahead with them. They've gotten all their emotions and drama out onto each other and ruined each other in very different ways. The thing about a love and relationship like that though? It makes an impact. Liam will never be nothing to Karma. Karma will never be nothing to Liam. A relationship like that will affect your entire life. It changes the way you see other people and the way you see yourself. If Karma let Liam leave her life right now he would never come back because of his shame and guilt, because it would be easier to just never revisit his past. Karma would know that. Karma knows Liam better than she knows herself. That's why that chapter was so odd for a lot of people to read I think. You all see that Liam has hurt Karma greatly. But Karma's biggest problem and her biggest fears all involve being left and being not good enough. If she never saw Liam again she would think it had more to do with her not being good enough and less to do with Liam actually being sick with himself (which at this point in the story, he definitely is). They've come to a point where they understand each other again finally and that's a huge deal. A lot of couples never get there. They just part without closure and it fucks them up more later-on.*

Chapter 21

Personal Day

When Karma woke up again she felt herself in Amy's arms.

What time is it?

She was still in her clothes from before. She had her casual "might"-type clothing on; tight, nearly dressy, dark-blue jeans and a lightweight black button-up shirt that was mostly unbuttoned by nature. She always dressed like this when she "might" get pulled to deal with some unforeseeable problem or "might" run into someone she should always look nice for (like a rich client or back in the old days even Liam).

Now, waking up in her "mights?!" That wasn't something Karma usually did.

On top of her bed, on a weekday of all days, when she noticed and moved, she felt the indents in her wrist from her bracelets and her watch and felt brief little pinches of stress at the corners of her brain.

Dazed, coming out of it, she moved to sit-up a bit and look over at her clock.

"Shit…" Karma said, falling back down on her bed and realizing what she had done.

Amy stirred and noticed Karma beside her holding her head. Amy had faintly heard the unexpected expletive one second before.

"What is it?" Amy asked, feeling lazy but happy to be where she was.

"I was supposed to meet Shane with a client at 12." Karma never skipped-out on prior work arrangements. She only did that if she absolutely had to. Professionalism was important to her when strangers were involved. But she was distraught and confused now and professionalism was growing extra impossible for her of late. Her big break with Liam in front of Amy was a huge fuck up in her mind, a warning sign of how unstable she was or maybe even how little fucks she was starting to give about professionalism and treating others with kindness first and harshness later. Things like this were fears of hers. She always felt more unwound than her parents. She always felt unhinged and like she wasn't even a product of her family but more a fluke, an accident, an unwanted and angry little thing.

Thinking of all this sorta lit her on fire. She couldn't go on like this. Things were only getting worse. Something had to give.

Personal day… Karma thought with a heavy sigh.

The term had never really been a thing for her before but everyone else was constantly using it to explain their own unexplained absences. Most important in her mind, Lauren and Shane both used the term A LOT and that made her feel rather justified giving everything. From what Karma could gather, a personal day could range from EXTREMELY NECESSARY to NOT NECESSARY AT ALL.

One time Lauren took a personal day. Karma thought nothing of it really until two days later when she found out why. Lauren was mad at Theo and therefore set on ditching him out of spite on a particular case. Shane gave Lauren away, basically ratted her out to Karma after he took a "personal day" himself and got outted at the table by someone else. When Karma found out, there with them, she didn't know what to say. Lauren had only been working there a few months at the time. But Karma didn't have any time to think on it and of course, Shane had picked the perfect time to tell her, they really had no time to discuss it and they were in a rush to make a breakthrough for a deadline. It just fell into the cracks at the time, that info, and Lauren became used to these things being normal. Just as Karma did. But they weren't really normal for her. Karma had never taken a personal day.

After a while, the term "personal day," among the partners at least, had become code for: I CAN'T TAKE THIS RIGHT NOW.

Everyone else used it. And everyone else seemed to have a shorter list of things they could take.

Karma pulled her phone out of her pocket and checked her texts.

If anything warranted a personal day for her, her life right now, this was it.

Sure enough Shane had text her after meeting with Lauren. At first he was just waiting for Karma, expecting her, but when she didn't show he just sent.

Are you okay?

It was something he rarely asked her. But in truth he was one of the only people from her day-to-day life who ever did ask. Liam didn't. Lauren didn't. Most of the other employees were too intimidated by her to get too personal. Karma was in and out and all business and to-do's.

"What're you gonna do?" Amy asked, waiting…

"I'm gonna stay," Karma said, deciding it and letting out a sigh. She rolled over to face Amy. She was resigned to it. Happy about it, though, she didn't seem it because there was too much weighing on her mind.

Amy stared over at Karma and felt almost lost. She didn't want to be influencing Karma. She didn't want to be cause for a problem in Karma's life.

"We can still go, really," Amy tried, reading things wrong. She moved to get ready for her.

"No, sweetie," Karma reached for Amy's hand and pulled her back down to sit on the bed. "I need to stop this," she said, explaining.

"Stop what?" Amy asked, worried.

"I need to stop being this crazy person who jumps whenever someone asks me to," she rolled her eyes at herself and actually realized how exhausted she was with the way she'd allowed herself to just get-by for so long. The meeting with Liam had been a wake-up call. The crying. The ultimatum. It was all a wake-up call. "There's too much work for me to do. There will always be too much work at that firm." And she had been trying… To do it all.

"Oh," Amy said, bobbing her head. She didn't really understand but she was going to. "What should we do then?" Amy asked sweetly. She could help with work. She was ready to help.

"Breakfast?" Karma asked, surprising Amy greatly and causing her to smile and roll her eyes too. Karma smiled up at Amy and pulled her down by her shirt to be kissing her again.

Amy's eyes drifted shut as Karma parted her lips and pulled her down, forcing her to relax again.

Suddenly breakfast seemed second place to Karma's kisses. Amy felt herself sinking into her like she'd done earlier and the night before. Kissing Karma just felt so wonderful. There were no thoughts, only happiness, when she was kissing her. And whenever Karma reached for her Amy heart just lept in her chest as if reaching for her. Amy wanted these things so much she just hated to ask and feel vulnerable. Just as she hated to feel wrong and misstep.

Karma was so conflicted and Amy could see it all over her in the way she walked and the way she rested. When Karma woke she wasn't excited for the day. She felt stress, then sadness, then perhaps a sense of resignation and calm. Amy saw all of that. And it worried her.

She was happy to be with Karma. But Karma's life was… Well… It was a mess…

"What're we even doing?" Amy asked. She was so frustrated with herself. She already cared so fucking much about this girl. Why couldn't she have normal relationships that took time and made sense?

"What do you mean?" Karma smiled, and teased her.

"You know," Amy laughed awkwardly. "I mean, this, us… What…" She felt like a kid for having to ask. She felt irrational too and ran a hand through her hair before relaxing and smiling at her own awkward seriousness.

"I like you dummy," Karma said, clearing up any misconception Amy might have. She got up behind Amy who was now sitting on the edge of the bed with her feet firmly planted on the floor. Amy had had a moment of crisis for absolutely no reason. Karma saw it and moved to comfort her instantly. She wrapped Amy up in her arms and rocked her from behind with a smile on her lips and her chin above Amy's shoulder. "It's not confusing," she pushed, lowering her lips to Amy's shoulder and kissing it, squeezing her arms around Amy's shoulders and collarbone and wishing she could take off with her for a month or maybe three. A paradise vacation would feel amazing just about now. It'd been a long time since Karma had had a lover.

Amy was beginning to notice something common. Karma had made a habit of doing this, of using her whole body to trap her and keep her. Her legs lined Amy's and if Amy tried to stand up Karma was sure she would just wrap her legs around her and refuse to let go, force Amy into carrying her as a punishment for trying to leave.

"I hope," Karma added on. She didn't want Amy to be confused about how affectionate she felt towards her. If Amy needed reminding Karma would remind her that she cared for her a whole lot. It was so right, in her mind. Amy had come at the perfect time. Amy was helping her get her mind off of everything horrible.

Amy thought about that random "i love you," from before. She could say something. She could bring it up…

"What are you thinking in there," Karma nearly whispered. She was worried for her. In a lot of ways Amy seemed to be so inside herself at times. Karma let her arms go and moved them instead to hold at Amy's sides loosely. She wanted to see Amy's face and make sense of her mysteries.

"Nothing," Amy shrugged. She smiled and shook her doubts off. "We should feed you," Amy decided, turning to see her.

"I'm really into this whole you taking care of me thing," Karma smiled lovingly.

"I know," Amy teased. She stood up and remembered herself. It'd been hours since she'd talked to Lauren and gave her that donut lie. She was still in Karma's clothes and definitely not ready to go out. "Iiii, can't go out like this," Amy laughed.

"Well, you could," Karma teased, shutting one of her eyes and making a face.

When Amy said nothing Karma laughed and pulled her toward her closet, turning the light on and walking them both inside.

The closet was a walk-in but it wasn't huge. And Karma only had a limited supply of clothing inside since it was what she allowed the hotel to hold for her for whenever she booked her room. All this stuff was just back-up and extra. Little men would come in and place everything just right. Karma was there so often that the hotel hadn't even cleared her room out since the last time. They had left her clothes in the closet and left her favorites in the fridge and cupboards. Her chocolate, her coffee, her yogurt, her fruit. Karma Ashcroft was the most high-profile guest they'd ever had.

In her closet, Karma found a somewhat normal shirt and turned to Amy, pulling Amy's shirt up and off.

"Fuck," Karma said. Amy hadn't put her bra back on. "Ha!" Karma laughed nervously. "Wasn't expecting that," her face was red with embarrassment and attraction. She turned Amy around quickly and tapped her arms. "Up-up," she urged. "It's okay, you don't need a bra." The shirt would work fine enough, plus Amy's breasts were adorable and healthy. Karma envied them. She didn't like her own.

"I, can't go out like this," Amy said, hugging her breasts into her arms.

"You look great," Karma confirmed. She found Amy some jeans and they fit fine enough if not a tad short. Karma's clothes were all tailored specifically for her. If she had the mind earlier she would've sent a clothes for Amy as soon as she left the hotel.

No more sulking around and crying. Karma was ready to take her hot date out on the town. She'd had enough of Amy looking hot all alone. She wanted to pamper her and treat her right.

As a final touch, Karma dug a small delicate heart necklace out of her jewelry chest and moved to turn Amy around.

"Here," she said, fastening the light chain around Amy's neck and being careful to avoid her hair. The chain was so light that Karma rarely wore the necklace. It had been a gift from her mother a long time ago. In truth she hadn't worn it for a very long time. It had too much sentimental value and Karma was always frightened she might break the chain. If that ever happened she would cry so hard.

She turned Amy around to see the small pendant as it rest on her skin.

"Good?" Amy asked.

"Yeah," Karma said, trying not to get teary. That necklace always made her think of home. She really missed home…