*OMG THAT FIC REC THO!*

*I CAN'T*

*i think a few people who are reading both this AND the alternate are confused still. this story and that story are two different stories completely. they do not run together at all. the characters are different in both worlds. i didn't realize until someone commented on "the diner" scene on that other fic. i didn't realize why some of you were SUPER confused. the diner scene was in this fic and the bar scene was in the other fic. So yeah, if you are reading the alternate IT'S NOT THE SAME STORY. IT IS AN ALTERNATE. THE CHARACTERS ARE PURPOSELY DIFFERENT. FOR ME. FOR FUN. SO THESE STORIES WILL NOT LINE-UP AT ALL. That's just a different take on this lawyer world and what they could be inside of it. This one is all sweetness and angst. That one is all play, and mainly more about teasing with sex.*

*so if y'all thought i just changed the characters drastically halfway through a fic that's not what happened. again, that's a different story. it has its own story page and everything. it is an alternate. it is a variant. aka: in place of this, instead of this.*

Chapter 27

So, What About You...

"You are KILLING ME!" Karma groaned. She brought her own hands up to cover her face. She really hadn't felt this much like a horny teen in a long long time.

Karma couldn't, for the life of her, remember a time when she wanted sex but couldn't have it or had to wait for it. The frustration was definitely intense.

"Sorry!" Amy laughed awkwardly, her voice nearly squeaking from embarrassment. "You just feel really good. I'm really not used to this." She took her hands down from her face and just laid there on the floor to try and recover and gather herself. The silence was lovely. And Karma's quickened breath on top of it all was simply music to Amy's ears. "What was it like with Liam?" Amy asked almost in awe of her.

"Whattaya mean?" Karma asked, turning onto her side and looking down at the woman on her floor.

"Sex," Amy asked. "Being his?"

"I dunno," Karma sighed, surprised by the question. "It was nice at first. I really wanted him, back then, and there wasn't much thinking. I would just go for it. Ya know?"

"Was that in High School?" Amy asked, thinking of that cute picture of them on Karma's wall, the one that looked like it came out of an ALL AMERICAN MAGAZINE or something like that.

"Yeah," Karma sighed, turning onto her back and trying to settle. She ran a hand through her hair. She didn't want to think about Liam anymore.

Amy's phone began to buzz in her pocket. She pulled it out and saw it was her mom.

"Crap," she muttered before picking it up and pressing the phone to her ear.

"Amy honey? Is that you?"

"Yea," Amy huffed.

"Are you alright? I haven't seen you in nearly two days." It was out of the ordinary which was sad for Amy to realize.

"Yeah, mom, I'm fine," Amy said.

"You haven't been kidnapped or murdered or-"

"I'm an adult, mom, remember?"

"No, no, you'll always be my baby, now, don't forget that."

"I won't," Amy laughed. Karma watched her and wondered what was going on. Amy seemed so sweet whenever she talked to the people she already knew.

"Can I ask who you're with?" Farrah knew it was wrong to be intrusive and pry but she also knew that her daughter came from her and there would always be cause to worry about something like that.

"I'm with Karma, mom. I met her mom today and we went out to eat." Amy looked over at Karma and gave her a smile.

"Oh, Karma? Really?" The surprise was in Farrah's voice.

"Mom," Amy sighed.

"Are you two… Is it… Is it like Reagan?"

"It's different, mom, but yes."

"Oh dear…" Farrah sighed.

"She's watching me talk," Amy said, taking Karma's hand and holding it while she watched her back.

Karma let her eyes drop as she sunk back into the couch and tried to calm down.

"Well, don't be a stranger," Farrah said. "You know I'll always worry about you. At least tell me where you are. Please," she added on desperately.

"I'm at Karma's mom. We're both fine."

"Okay." Farrah sighed. "And, GOOD." She tried to spin her reaction into a positive response.

"I'm gonna stay the night again," Amy'd already decided.

"Alright honey," Farrah said.

"Love you."

"Love you too," Farrah said back.

Amy hung up the phone and sighed. She put her phone onto the coffee table and laid back down on the ground.

Karma waited, wishing she could express herself but knowing she just couldn't right now. Amy's family was completely obsessed with her. It made Karma a little bit jealous, not that her own mom hadn't been that way before, things were just different now.

"Sorry," Amy said. "They worry."

"No, it's sweet," Karma sighed. She couldn't remember the last time her mother called. And her brother didn't care at all about her. And her dad was mostly sad about how distant they'd become, and how much she had changed and grown with time, so he gave her space.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm like, my Mother's burden or something."

"I highly doubt that," Karma smiled. She lowered her hand to dangle it near Amy. Amy took it in her own and squeezed.

"No, I'm serious," Amy said. "Think of the life she could've had if it wasn't for me."

"She loves you, Amy," Karma said. "Mother's always love their daughters."

"You sound like a commercial," Amy laughed.

"I know," Karma smiled lovingly. "But it's true."

Amy got quiet for a second. Karma wished she knew what she was thinking.

"It's hard feeling like I changed everything for her. Like, I know it wasn't my fault but still."

"She's a news anchor though, right?"

"Yeah," Amy said, sitting up and crossing her legs.

"Was that always her dream?"

"It was," Amy smiled to herself, thinking back on her childhood. "She used to have me pretend to be the cameraman. Just like my dad. I was so official." Amy laughed. "And she'd go on these auditions and she'd be so nervous."

"Look at her now," Karma smiled, happy tears biting at her eyes.

"Yeah," Amy sighed, a half-laugh.

"And what about you?" Karma sighed.

"Hmm?" Amy looked up from her in a daze.

"Was it always your dream to be a lawyer?"

"Not really," Amy said, rolling her eyes and shifting in her spot.

"Interesting," Karma said.

It was funny, that was the first time it hit Amy that neither of them wanted to be where they were in their careers.

"It's not the worst job," Amy said.

"How then?" Karma asked.

"Look at you," Amy teased. "Life just happens," She felt like pushing Karma just a little in play but she held herself back. Talking to her was refreshing somehow. Everything she said felt like a secret and she didn't know why.

"Hmm…" Karma pondered. "So what did you dream about when you were young?" Amy wondered when the last time was when someone had asked her that. If someone had ever asked...

"Eh… It's strange." So strange she sorta blocked it out since high school.

"Come on," Karma pushed. "I sang for you." Reminding Amy this would certainly get her to talk. Karma was using her foolproof pouting tactics and Amy felt an instant tug at her heartstrings.

"Okay," Amy said. "I wanted to be a director. It was such a boy dream."

"How so?"

"You watch tv, it's always the boys that are into directing and carrying cameras around and filming things. Dawson Creek, One Tree Hill, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, hell, even Jesse from Pitch Perfect. They didn't even give that role to a girl. The girl gets DJ," Amy teased. "I mean, look at MTV. They're only just now having a female character with a camera in her hands. Number 1? She's a lesbian. Number 2? She may very well end up a killer." Amy had recently marathoned all of the SCREAM tv show. She didn't care how old she was or how embarrassing it was to still admit to watching MTV. The show was entertaining and Amy would watch anything horror. It was just one of her things.

"Okay," Karma laughed. "That's because our media is shit." Karma wanted to make sure Amy knew that.

"Still," Amy laughed.

"Did you ever just go for it?" Karma wasn't thinking about tv. She was thinking about Amy, just Amy. It should be obvious by now that Amy could do anything she wanted. She became a lawyer. Look where she was working.

But Amy didn't look back on her dream fondly anymore. She sorta hated herself for it.

"In high school," Amy said cautiously. "Once."

Her face darkened a little.

"There was this whole scandal. I filmed the morning updates for first period but I wanted to break out and do something on my own. And I had a mentor sorta pushing me. This asshole teacher. He'd always flirt with me and stuff and for a while I really liked him. His approval was everything to me. You have no idea."

"What happened?" Karma asked. Something obviously happened. Amy was completely disillusioned. And Karma was no stranger to what it felt like to have a crush on a teacher.

"It just got dangerous I guess," Amy sighed.

"And that turned you off?"

"Yeah," she sighed again. "I don't know why we're even talking about this. I never think about this stuff."

Karma wished she knew more.

Amy wished she'd stayed silent.

"What was the scandal," Karma asked. She was well aware she was pushing it.

"This popular girl," Amy said, feeling as tears hit her. "She was attacked in the locker room by two guys. It was really bad. There were pictures all over. Someone was obviously trying to hurt her, defame her. The school wouldn't do anything because she wouldn't officially give names."

"Attacked?"

"You know…" Amy said.

A darkness fell over their space.

"Oh…" Karma said. There'd been things like that at her school too, attacks, even girls she knew. Being a member of a cheerleading squad comes with its own set of problems. Come to think of it, Karma had sort of blocked out a lot from back then too.

"I tried to figure it out. Tried to help her. It was stupid," Amy said. "In the end she got mad at me. I couldn't blame her either. She just wanted it to be over." Amy looked about to break. "I was this random girl pushing her to report these assholes and thinking I had any right to be talking or thinking about her life and her pain at all. I was an idiot. I didn't know..."

"Amy…"

"My dad's a war photographer," Amy said looking up. She seemed bitter now.

"What?" Karma didn't think that was an actual job.

"His life is everywhere but here. His life is bombs and killings and funerals and the next big thing."

"Amy…"

Amy sniffled. She was sitting up and holding her arms around her knees, trying to keep it together.

"I used to look for his pictures everywhere. Even those lame enquirer things in the lines at the supermarket with the alien babies. My mom just thought I was weird," Amy laughed and tears came. "I don't know why I'm telling you all this."

"You feel vulnerable," Karma said, crawling down off the couch and sitting next to her to make her feel safe. "I just told you all this weird stuff about my life."

"It's not just that though," Amy realized. "The only person I really talk to is Lauren and we don't talk about this."

"Is that good or bad?" Karma asked, feeling heavy and nervous.

"Good," Amy said, sniffling again and staring back at her with the weight of her undiscussed life on her shoulders.

"Good," Karma said. As fun as sex was, this was obviously much better. Amy needed someone and for the first time Karma felt that she really could be useful to her in some way.