Part Two

Rae didn't care for the past, nor did she think about it that much but she spent that night in her bed, willing herself to sleep and watching her clock tick closer to her 5.30am alarm. She couldn't remember why they had broken up; well, that was a lie… She could but she had always hoped that it wasn't the end of them. She hadn't ended things because she hadn't loved him but because she realised that she didn't love herself… Not even a little bit.

University had been good for her, being in a different city had meant she'd opened her eyes to a world outside Stanford, to politics outside her lower class background, to friends outside her friendship group and, in particular, a body positive feminist friend who reminded her that it was ok to love herself. So she tried and some days she failed but it had become easier over time.

"You look tired." Chloe said as she came in at her regular time of 7.30 am for her regular cup of coffee before work.

Rae handed over her latte, their morning routine meant it was always steaming and inside a disposable cup ready for her best friend to zoom off to her 8.00 am meeting. The disposable cups had been designed by Izzy, having discovered a love for graphic design while studying a degree in fashion. It had never been her plan but it turned out to be the best thing she could possibly have done. Now Izzy worked freelance under "Izzy's designs" while looking after her four boisterous boys; Arthur Jnr (AJ), Leon, Timothy and Sven. Chop and Izzy's name choices had always secretly puzzled Rae and Chloe.

"Didn't sleep." Rae replied, yawning wide as she yearned after her double bed.

"Tell me about it," Chloe chattered, taking a seat on one of the black bar stools that accompanied the end of the counter. "Billy's found this new fertility routine that's supposed to guarantee pregnancy if you have sex every two hours. Thank goodness he hasn't suggested work yet…" Her voice trailed off as her face turned pale at the thought of it.

Billy had come along unexpectedly for Chloe; a slightly cocky middle level manager at her company, he'd turned up with an air of arrogance that immediately drew Chloe to him. In return, he'd fancied a go at Chloe the minute he'd laid eyes on her. A typical jack the lad, Rae had thought it'd end in heartbreak but he'd pleasantly surprised her when he'd proposed to Chloe after eight months together. Five years into their marriage and they'd struggled to get pregnant and they'd both become consumed with getting 'up the duff' in any way possible. They were happy though, and that was all that mattered.

"Finn turned up yesterday." Rae stated in a matter-of-fact voice as she wiped up a saucer with a tea towel.

"What the fuck?!" Chloe said, shoving her cup down hard on the counter and spraying it slightly. "Long time no see, aye?"

"That's what he said…" Rae replied quietly.

"Really? After ALL this time."

"Twice." Rae confirmed.

They were interrupted mid-flow by the door banging open and a scattered-looking Izzy bounding in; a baby carrier in one hand and a tight grip on a ginger chubby toddler with the other. Her ginger ringlets were piled on-top of her head in a messy bun and there was a yellow stain on her blue and white striped dungarees which looked suspiciously like puke.

"Espresso, pronto." She ordered as she let go of Timothy's hand and dumped the baby carrier (securely) in the biggest armchair.

Timothy scuttled off towards the box of toys that Rae kept in the café and Izzy slumped into Chloe's neighbouring bar stool.

"Difficult morning?" Rae asked as she set the espresso in front of Izzy a couple of moments later.

"The worst." Izzy exclaimed, downing the espresso in one. "I was up four times through the night feeding Sven and then AJ was being a little git. Up and down, up and down, up and down. All those hard nights of establishing a routine for him and it's gone and been messed up by having another baby. I don't know why I let Chop get his way in getting another one."

"You were hoping for a girl." Chloe reminded her.

"Yeah and look where that got me!"

"But Sven's a sweetie." Rae smiled.

"Yeah he is… And he's no real bother I suppose…" Izzy smiled and relaxed a little before noticing that Timothy was no longer playing with the toys and was now poking his fingers into the baby carrier. "Timothy Archibald Peters! I swear to God if you hurt Sven, I'll put you on the naughty step!" She scolded him as she swooped over and grabbed Sven out of the carrier before returning to her seat.

"So…" Chloe looked back at Rae as she sensed Izzy's drama was over.

"Yeah, what have I missed?" Izzy asked as she fixed Sven onto her breast to feed him.

"Finn turned up last night." Rae relayed the information to her.

"Oh…" Izzy's voice was a little wary.

"Isn't that mad?" Chloe raged.

"You don't seem surprised." Rae narrowed her eyes at Izzy.

"Well if I'm being honest I'm not. Chop said he was back in town, saw him at the bank or summat but I didn't think he'd come here to you…" Izzy replied.

"Yeah I suppose." Rae frowned.

"What did he want?" Chloe asked, taking a sip of her latte.

"Dunno… Some shit about reggae in my collection." Rae said with a wave of her hand towards the records section.

"Little ears." Izzy reminded her, nodding her head towards Timothy who had proceeded to rip the head off one of the Barbies.

"Sorry." Rae grumbled.

"Typical Finn though!" Chloe exclaimed as she brought the subject back to the matter in hand. "What is he? Still eighteen?"

"No he's not… He's still the same old Finn but with shorter hair, a few wrinkles and a hairier and more toned stomach."

"Did he come in naked or something?!" Chloe snorted.

"No he… Never mind." Rae's voice drifted away.

"What else did he say?" Izzy asked, switching Sven to the other breast.

"Nothing much, I asked him to leave and then he did but told me he'd see me around before he went."

"Was that a threat or a promise?" Chloe asked.

"I'm not sure…" Rae mulled.

Chloe took a glance at the time on her iPhone before opening her eyes wide in shock, "is that really the time?" She asked rhetorically. "Must dash, got a meeting with walkers crisps"

And with a couple of air kisses to her friends, a stroke of Sven's cheek and ruffle of Timothy's hair, Chloe was gone.

"Do you want him to come back again?" Izzy asked as she began to burp Sven over her shoulder.

"I don't know." Rae replied, "I really don't know."