Part Four

The pub that Finn had taken Rae to was not one she had expected. She'd half expected him to take her to their pub but then she'd remembered that Chop and Archie would probably be there, not to mention Danny managing it. The minute she followed Finn in, pushing open the heavy wooden door she was hit in the face with the smell of slightly stale ale, cigarettes (the pub clearly not sticking to the smoking ban) and piss. Her nose wrinkled up as they made their way in, the stench only becoming stronger. It was a mostly wooden pub, dark wooden tables and stools, wooden sidepanels up the wall and uneven planks across the floor. As she looked around, she noticed that the pub was filled with old white men with long grey beards. They were staring at her as if she didn't belong there, that it was their pub and no women were allowed.

"What do you want?" Finn asked, flashing his cheeky grin at her once again.

"Erm…" Rae's voice wavered.

"The usual?" Finn asked. "Snake-,"

"Erm no…" Rae interrupted. "I'm not eighteen anymore… I'll have rosé please."

"Oh… ok. Sure." Finn blushed slightly before turning his back on her towards the bar.

Rae made her way over to a spare table in the corner of the pub away from the eyes of the prying men who had mostly resumed their own conversations. As she sat down at the table, she grimaced as the stool slightly stuck to the back of her legs. She hoped it was left over alcohol that was smeared over her jeans. The tables clearly hadn't been cleaned in forever and she prayed that they didn't serve food for fear of what the kitchen looked like.

"Alright m'dear!" Finn said as he carried over a pint for himself and a wine glass filled with a light red liquid.

It all seemed too surreal to be true; Rae almost had a flashback to twelve years before when he placed the glass on the table, spilling a bit on the surface.

He grinned apologetically to Rae. "Oops."

The atmosphere immediately turned awkward between them as they both stared at the floor, not really knowing what to say or where to start.

"So…" Finn said, breaking the silence.

Rae looked up sharply, "where have you been for ten years Finn?"

Dropping his gaze, Finn let a sharp exhale of breath leave his lips. "You really don't wait around…" He chuckled quietly.

"You can't just turn up here after ten years with no contact and expect everything to be the same again. Things aren't the same Finn, things have changed…" Rae paused as she watched his blank expression. "You don't even know me anymore."

"I know Rae and I'm sorry, I am! But life happened and that's all I can say."

"Wow. Who knew life would make you a dick… but then again, I suppose you did cheat on me." Rae hissed.

"Look Rae…" Finn started but Rae wouldn't let him continue.

"No Finn. You fuck off out my life for ten years after leading me on that we were gonna get back together again and then come back in my life with some shit excuse about fuckin' reggae!? How dare you!" Rae shouted, not caring that the whole pub was staring at her again.

"Rae, Rae – I'm sorry." Finn reached out and caught her hand.

There was a familiarity as his fingers enclosed over hers, as if the last ten years hadn't happened and they were back to being teenagers again. It was as if his fingers belonged there, that she was his and he was hers. They were a teenage dream once again, filled with sweet kisses and lingering gazes.

Except they weren't, 'ten years have passed' she reminded herself.

"So…" she whispered, pulling her hand away gently. "Tell me about your life, Wife? Kids?" She asked.

"No wife, no… it's a generic life really, nothing interesting." He replied, taking a drink of his beer and looking away elusively.

"So you're not seeing anyone?" She asked.

"No… are you?"

"No."

"Good." He let the corners of his lips turn upwards slightly in a small smile.

"Is it?" She asked.

"Aye, I think it is."

"Finn, you really can't just come in here and think everything is ok again y'know. You've missed so much and I really don't understand why you left in the first place!"

"Rae-," he spoke out but was quickly distracted by a loud ringtone from his jacket pocket.

Fishing out the phone, he quickly glanced at the caller before sending Rae an apologetic glance. "I'm really sorry, I have to take this…"

"No worries!" Rae smiled briefly at him as he rushed off to the other side of the bar.

She watched Finn as he spoke in hushed tones. He ran his fingers through the tips of his hair and her heart yearned for the past; for his long fringe that he would spend ages styling into the right way… not that he would have ever admitted to it. Now he had his short hair and while she would admit that it suited him; that it made his cheekbones stand out even more than she had originally thought possible… she still missed the old Finn. She didn't know this Finn, sure the cheeky twat that she'd once loved was still there but he had changed. Just like she had.

Downing the rest of her rosé, she noticed his pint was nearly empty. Gathering her bag, she made her way across to the bar. As she walked, she cringed as her feet stuck to the floorboards beneath her. It was strange how it wouldn't have bothered her when she was 18 but now that she was 30 it was a completely different story.

"Excuse me…" she called over to the barman.

He looked at her, clearly deciding whether or not to serve her, before turning his attention back to the old man who was apparently telling him the most interesting conversation he'd ever heard.

"For fucks…" her voice drifted off as her ears pricked up at the sound of Finn's voice.

As she glanced over, she noticed he was still on the phone looking more irate than he had done previously. His hair was out of place as he continued to run his fingers through it in frustration.

"Look, I know I'm sorry." Pause. "Of course." Pause. "Honey, of course." Pause. "Look, I'll call you before bed tonight okay sweetie? I love you…" Pause. "No, no. I'm just out with Archie."

Rae's heart was in her throat as she overheard him. She noticed the barman beginning to saunter his way over to her and she was faced with a decision. She could either stay and have it out with Finn, where he'd probably lie to her face all over again or she could go and never see him again.

"Fuck this." She said, walking straight towards the door and out into the cold air.