I'M BACK!

(Well, sort of. T&C is back. I-might-BE-slightly-INSANE is being amazing tonight and uploading for me because I am on a school trip, but I wanted you to have the chapter, as I promised, so she is being awesome. Thank you!)

Anyway, I'm back. And guess what? You were amazing while I wasn't uploading. I actually hit 10,000 views midway through February (and I also got my 100th review from I-might-BE-slightly-INSANE!), so THANK YOU! You. Are. Awesome. I love you all so much.

T&C is my baby. I'm sorry for leaving you on such a cliffhanger. (Well, sort of. It was kinda fun :D) The next few weeks, I shall tell you now, won't be pretty. I am sorry for that. But I have the next chapter written so I shan't be leaving you again. Yes, school work is still hard, but I love this story too much. So it comes first. And if that means I fail all my A-levels then so be it.

Anyway. I think I'll let you read it now, and then talk again afterwards.

I love you, and I hope you enjoy it.

Story so far...

On Kurt's 23rd birthday, Blaine treated him to a concert from his Warblers. The next weekend, Klaine travelled down to Lima for the annual New Directions reunion. The weekend after that, they spend the weekend at Dalton, coaching the boys for Nationals. After that, they travel to New York: Nationals!

Under the topic of 'Discrimination', Blaine's Warblers performed to the best of their ability. They made the top three, beating Lullaby League in the finals but coming second to Purple Hibiscus. Kurt drove the boys back to Ohio, Blaine snoozing in the passenger seat whilst the boys in the back remained quiet after their loss. Upon their return to Columbus, Klaine dozed, and then went out for a meal.

The setting was perfect, and Blaine couldn't stop falling in love with Kurt all over again any time he chanced a glance at his boyfriend. They left the restaurant and Blaine steered Kurt towards the park, hoping for a final flash of inspiration on how he could propose. The ring was heavy in his pocket as he spotted a busker, and A Thousand Years seemed to fit his question perfectly...

"I want the rest of my firsts with you, Kurt. I want you to be my last. I want to be the man standing, watching you enter the room, waiting to make you my husband. Kurt, I want to marry you."

The older man stayed silent. So many emotions were flying around his head and he didn't know which ones to grab onto and concentrate on. He just sat, speechless, watching as the man opposite him let go of his hands to reach into his pocket and pull out a small, black box. He brought it between them, ready to open it. Kurt's gaze flicked down to it, and then back up into Blaine's eyes.

"Will you marry me?"

Time slowed down. Kurt saw his boyfriend's hands moving to open the box. The box which contained the engagement ring. His engagement ring. This was real. This was actually happening. Someone wanted to marry him. Blaine was asking him to marry him.

Suddenly, Kurt shot his hand out, forcing the box to remain closed. He didn't want to see it. He didn't need to. He already knew his answer, and seeing the ring wouldn't make any difference.

"I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more."

The song came to its peaceful end and the park was left in silence. All Kurt could hear was the beating of his own heart. He looked at Blaine's face and eyes. And he replied. He replied with the one thing that made any sense.

"No."

-*T&C*-

"Wh- what?"

Kurt was quick to backtrack. "It's not because I don't love you; it's because I love you too much."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Blaine got up and backed away from Kurt, a look of horror, disbelief and overbearing sadness emblazoned on his paled face.

"Blaine, listen. Let me explain-" Kurt struggled to his feet.

"My whole life I've been waiting to ask this question to you. We've been together for five years. I thought this was what you wanted! I- Do I even know you any more? I... I don't know, Kurt. I just don't know."

"Blaine, that's ridiculous. Of course you-"

"I- I'm done, Kurt. I- I don't know. I just don't know..." Blaine turned away, hand clutching his scalp through his mass of curly hair as he walked away.

"Blaine! BLAINE!" Kurt tried calling after him but to no use. His boyfriend - if he was even that any more - was paying no attention to him. Moreover, he was being very clear that he didn't want to be followed.

Fuck.

Kurt collapsed on his legs, sitting at the foot of the tree. He buried his head in his lap before he let the tears come. What had he done? What the fuck had he just done? He started rocking his body, trying to get some comfort out of the situation. When he was unable to control his sobs he knew that no sort of comfort would work. He stuffed his fist in his mouth, not caring what sort of germs he'd picked up, trying to muffle at least some of the sounds he was making. It didn't seem to be making much difference.

Suddenly, he felt a hand on his back and he jumped, ripping the fist from his mouth. "Blaine?"

He looked up through blurry eyes. No, not Blaine. The figure above him, now crouching down, was female. She wore a guitar and a worried expression. "Are you okay?"

Kurt laughed humourlessly. "Fucking fantastic." More tears started to brim and burst, waterfalls colliding with each other as they gushed down his cheeks.

The girl seemed unsure of the situation. She had no idea of what this man wanted, or if he'd feel comfortable with what she was about to do. But she did it anyway.

She sat down on the grass opposite him and pulled him into her arms, hugging him and stroking his back and 'shh'ing in his ear. Kurt didn't pull away.

When his sobs had managed to stop to a level that he was able to talk over, he sat up and apologised.

"Don't apologise."

Kurt snorted. "What, you enjoy spending your Sunday evenings trying to stop a random crying guy in the park?"

She shook her head. "But you aren't a random crying guy. You're Kurt."

Kurt's eyes shot up. Then, recognition cleared his clouded face. "You're the girl who was singing A Thousand Years."

She nodded. "I am. Lily Buckler. Now, I don't mean to intrude, but, what happened?"

Kurt turned his head away from her, tears still falling slowly down his cheeks. "I'm guessing you knew he just proposed to me?" She nodded softly. He turned his head back to look her in the eye. "I turned him down."

Her eyebrows shot up her head, but then settled again. "I sort of guessed that everything wasn't rosy." She frowned. "Can I... no, no don't, that's personal."

"No, it's okay, really. I'm guessing you want to know why. I wanted him to know why. He left before I could say."

Lily pressed a hand on his arm. "No, you're not up to it. I should never have said anything." She seemed to pause for few seconds considering. Then she held out her hand. "Give me your phone," she demanded.

Kurt looked startled. "Um?"

She shook her head. "Nothing sinister. I want to give you my number. I don't know if you have someone you can go to about this, but even if you do, I want you to have someone else you can come to."

Kurt still didn't seem convinced, but dug his phone out nonetheless. Lily took it and typed for a few minutes until Kurt heard a bleeping. She handed it back. "And now I have your number so that I can keep tabs on you," she teased.

Kurt smiled. Then stopped. Smiled? His world had just disintegrated around him and he was smiling? Lily noticed and poked him in the ribs. "See? I'm helping you already." She struggled to her feet and then held out her hands for him to hold on to. She pulled him up and into a quick hug. "Now, where do you live?"

Kurt cocked an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Because I'm walking you home." Lily had an incredulous look on her face.

But Kurt shook his head, declining the offer. "No, I'll be fine, but thank you. To be honest I kind of want to take the long way back so that I give him time to make it back there."

"Well then I'll walk you the long way back. Or even better I could take you for a coffee; get you warmed up." She hooked her arm around Kurt's. "Come on."

"Take a seat somewhere. I'll buy. What do you drink?"

Kurt was just about to protest the fact that she was paying for everything when he realised just how long it had been since he'd last had to tell someone his coffee order. When he and Gina went out for coffee, their drinks were in their hands pretty much as soon as they were in the door. And Blaine...

"A grande non-fat mocha." He left Lily and selected a secluded table near the window. He turned his head away from the café and looked out of the window at the yellow lights in the dark, resting his head on his hand, and his elbow on the table. A lone tear slipped down his cheek which he managed to surreptitiously wipe away with one of his fingers. How could everything have gone so wrong in such a short time? Only a couple of hours ago they were sitting in a beautiful restaurant, waiting for their food to arrive, gazing into each other's eyes and seeing their future. Together. Now? He closed his eyes and turned his head back to the café. Now he would be lucky if he ever got to see that future he dreamed of, watching the Warblers win Nationals yet again and coming home to celebrate with Blaine. Everything had gone wrong.

And all for two stupid little letters that should have been three.

"It's okay to cry, you know." Lily had got the coffees and made it to their table. She sat down opposite Kurt, pulling the chair under the table once she was sat in it. "It's understandable."

Kurt shook his head firmly and grabbed his drink. "Thanks." He took a sip, letting the scalding hot liquid burn his tongue. Then the pain was gone and all that was left was numbness. Perfect. He took another long sip. This one caught in his throat and he started choking. And once he started choking, the tears sprang as naturally to his eyes as moths circling a flickering bulb. And then he couldn't stop.

He couldn't care less about the noise he was making or the attention he was gaining. All he cared about was that the arms around him belonged to a stranger, that the voice whispering comforting words in his ear wasn't comforting enough, that the smell which surrounded him wasn't home. They weren't home like Blaine was.

"It's all gone so horribly wrong," he managed to choke out.

Lily held him through his sobs until he slowed and pushed her away and she went back to sit on the opposite side of the table from him. She took a careful sip of her coffee. Cold. She sighed.

"Can I get you another?"

Kurt shook his head. "I just want to go home. I just want home to be home and for him to hold me in his arms and everything to be alright again. Is that too much to ask?"

Lily didn't respond; couldn't respond. She stood without a further word and ordered another caramel macchiato. She glanced back at Kurt. He was sat still, staring vacantly out of the window. Her heart softened. Not too long ago she'd been helping his boyfriend propose to him.

She took her order and returned to the table. As soon as she arrived, Kurt looked up.

"So what do you do, then?"

His change of mood confused Lily. "Sorry?"

"Do. Like a job. Or are you a student who just busks for the odd dollar?"

"Oh. No, I waitress part time. And then the busking is more something that I do for love rather than for a profit. But I am a student; I'm currently studying a creative writing course at OSU."

"Creative writing? That's really interesting. I've always felt like I could have a story at my fingertips. I have wanted to write a play for a few years now, but between work and life I don't really have the time."

"There is always time to write," Lily insisted, taking another sip of coffee and then trying to swallow it quickly in order to keep talking. "I find keeping a notebook next to my bed invaluable; most people get their best inspiration in the small hours of the morning, so if you can do anything to get that down then that's great. But mostly just write whenever you have a free minute. You have a smartphone?" Kurt nodded. "Then just flick on to a notepad app whenever you have free time. I even write when I'm walking along. I once clocked six hundred words whilst walking for fifteen minutes, and walked into nothing."

Kurt raised his eyebrows. "That's impressive."

Lily grinned. "Thanks." By now, she had clicked that this was Kurt's coping mechanism; ignoring the problem. Well, she could do that. "How about you? What do you do?"

"I work at Tommy Bahama. Visual merchandiser. And it's great. I actually climbed the ranks a lot more quickly than I should have but, well, I impressed them!"

Lily smiled warmly. "Is that what you always wanted to do?"

Kurt, in the middle of a sip of his stone cold coffee, frowned and shook his head. "No," he swallowed. "God no. No, actually my dream was to go to New York and star on Broadway."

Lily looked impressed. "And so why are you still stuck in Ohio?"

Kurt smiled. "I'm not stuck here. I love it here." He paused, smiling a lot more broadly. "Dreams change."

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, reflecting. Thankfully, Kurt kept his mind away from his and Blaine's possible breakup, and the waterworks stayed off. Lily finished her second coffee, Kurt giving up on his cold one and pushing the cup away from him.

"Have you always lived in Columbus?" Kurt asked.

"No. I lived in England, actually, as a baby. And then I moved to Lima before I was a year old."

"Lima?"

Lily frowned. "Yes. What's wrong with that?"

"That's where I'm from. Er, my dad, he runs Hummel Tires & Lube?"

"You're Kurt Hummel?"

"Um, yeah?"

"I know all about you!" Kurt raised his eyebrows. "No, that sounds creepy... I was home educated, but loads of my friends went to McKinley. That's where you went to, right?" Kurt nodded. "Yeah. Anyway, yeah, you were big there! Do I remember correctly that you had an audition for NYADA?"

Kurt smiled and nodded again. "I did. I didn't get in, though. But I'm glad I didn't. As I said, dreams change."

Lily smiled. Then she remembered other stories she had heard about Kurt. Stories like when he'd won prom queen and after prom king had run away his boyfriend had stepped in to save the day. Stories like when he was serenaded by a group of 'hotties in uniforms', his boyfriend taking the lead. Stories like when it was Valentine's Day and someone held a party at BreadstiX and Kurt was pulled in for a rendition of Love Shack by his boyfriend. And then she realised who this boyfriend was, and she thought it might be wiser not to bring any of these stories up.

She became aware that she'd been silent for a while. "Small world," she offered.

"Indeed." Kurt turned his coffee cup in his hands. "But I really should get going now."

Lily nodded. "Of course."

They stood from the table, shooting the staff smiles as they left. They stopped outside the café. "Where are you headed?" Kurt queried.

"Wherever you are," she replied.

"No, I'll be fine now," Kurt insisted.

"And I still want to make sure you're okay. So, come on mister, where do you live?"

Knowing she wasn't about to give up, Kurt held out his arm for her to loop hers into. "Come on then," he sighed exaggeratedly.

Kurt and Lily laughed as they walked up the block to Kurt's apartment building. Neither of them remembered when they'd got into such good spirits, but Lily was glad for it. Hopefully she had distracted him enough that he wouldn't break down again as soon as she'd left. Just then, a ringing emerged from a pocket in her guitar case.

"Oohp, can you hold that for me?" Lily dropped Kurt's arm in order to shrug the guitar off her back. He held it whilst she fumbled around in the front pocket. She pulled her phone out and quickly accepted the call. "Mum?"

Kurt tried not to listen to her conversation. It didn't seem polite. Instead, he turned his gaze to the surrounding buildings and trees, playing with the guitar case under his fingers. He'd had many a night coming back from Columbus walking up this road with Blaine. Sometimes they'd walked together, bodies held close by arms around waists and breath on cheeks. Other times they'd skip childishly, reliving their days at McKinley and laughing about how everyone's lives turned out. And other times they were incredibly drunk and fumbling with each other's belts.

"Okay, mum, I'll be back soon... Yup, see you." Lily hung up her phone and slid it into her jacket pocket. "Sorry about that. My mum was wondering where I was. I should have been back by now."

Kurt gave her the case back. "I'm sorry for keeping you out so late. Hey, I'm a bad influence."

"Nonsense."

Kurt smiled. "Well, here we are. Unless you want to walk me to the door?"

Lily smirked. "No, I think I trust you from here." She embraced him. "Stay safe, yeah? And keep me updated."

Kurt nodded. "I will do." He kissed her cheek gently. "I'm so glad I met you tonight. I don't know what I would've done if I hadn't."

Lily smiled sadly. "Well you'll never have to know. Good luck, Kurt."

"Thank you."

And she was off, waving over her shoulder, past her guitar. Kurt sighed.

He felt in his pocket and breathed a sigh of relief. For once, he'd taken a key. He opened the main door to the apartment block and stepped inside. He decided to take the stairs, allowing more time to think than using the noisy lift. It felt like five o'clock in the morning. Realistically, it probably wasn't even midnight.

He took the stairs slowly, counting them as he went. For every even stair he listed something he loved about Blaine. For every odd one he thought about why he had said no.

By the time he reached the third floor, he still had reasons why he loved his goofball of a boyfriend. A sob forced its way out of his throat. Was he even his boyfriend any more?

He stumbled down the hallway, not even strong enough to hold his own weight. All he could do was hope, and even pray, that Blaine would be home; that he had come back. He stopped outside number twenty-two. He considered knocking, going in and delaying the inevitable of if Blaine hadn't come back.

But no, he couldn't do that. And if Blaine was in fact in, he couldn't not go in. Besides, Sid would probably be asleep. Or out. He sighed and moved on, to number twenty-one. He almost scoffed at the number, remembering his childhood dream of getting married aged twenty one. And now he'd just turned down the opportunity of twenty three.

He took his keys in his hand and turned them over slowly. The metal felt cold in his hand. Heavy. He slid the key ever so slowly into the lock. And pushed the door open.

"Blaine?"

Kurt called out and then stood listening. He couldn't hear anything. He pulled his key from the door and then closed it softly. "Blaine?"

As he took a step forwards, the coat hooks caught his eye. Blaine's jacket wasn't there. He glanced down at the shoes. The ones he'd been wearing were missing.

However many times he had told his boyfriend not to walk into the apartment with his shoes on, he hoped that this one time he had disobeyed him, that he was in and just hadn't removed any of his clothes.

But somehow he knew. Kurt knew that his boyfriend - that Blaine - wasn't in.

And he slid down the wall and broke.

Right. So, thoughts? I'm sorry it is getting so depressing! This is a major plot point, so yeah, I'm kind of going to draw it out. But it is by no means the climax of the story. I have some more pretty big events coming up. The story is by no means over.

I'd love it if you left a review, but if you don't then that's also fine. It'd also be awesome if you checked out some of my other writing. Currently I have a deaf!Blaine fic called Give Me Strength and a song drabble collection called 2ymphonies 0f 1mmortal 3nchantment which I've been doing at least one a day. However, even if all you ever read of my writing is this one chapter, know that I still love you. To me, every view is special. So thank you for putting a smile upon my face.

Imma do some shoutouts now. Is that okay? Yeah?

IThinkILeftMyCoatOutside: Thank you. I love so much. You're always there for me when I need you. I'm not quite sure what would have happened on Thursday if you hadn't been on the other end of iMessage. Hopefully my brother would have heard something. Whatever; you have saved me so many times.

paddyofurniture: I love you so much. I hope you know that, okay?

I-might-BE-slightly-INSANE: Thank you so much for uploading this! You're amazing :D Watching Glee with you was brilliant, and I'm sorry for my very annoying fangirling when Klaine made out in that Prius. But can you blame me?! ;) I love you. Thank you for EVERYTHING. Thank you for understanding, and for always being there for me.

GirlInTheBlueHoodie: Cheeky girl; you almost saw what I was writing for you live ;) I love you. Your writing is incredible and even if you're feeling down you can put a smile on my face if I need it. You were a brilliant Gail and I'm going to miss that so much. Now, be careful, and make sure you don't get eaten again ;)

DrUnderscore: You are such an idiot, you know that? Sorry, I thought I had to remind you ;) No, serious hat on. *finds hat* *puts it on* *gets blinded by fringe* HI! I love you :) But I really do believe that your hugs are dangerous to my health! Seriously, my blood pressure shouldn't've been THAT low, right? Anyhow. Thank you so much for being there for me, and for accepting me in my stupid moments.

IceCreamDoodle13: Hey there! I love you. You're amazing. I never thought I'd find a friend like you, who I can be myself around after knowing for such a short time. You accept my crazy and I am so unbelievably grateful for that. I know how annoying my constant fangirling must be, especially as you don't watch Glee. But I hope that you know just how important you are to me. You do, right?

DemigodGleek: Hi! I need to thank you for all your amazing reviews that you have given me on both GMS and 2013. You are a great person for brightening my days like that :) Also, the Klaine fic you started writing? You need to have more confidence in yourself. Because it is brilliant, and I love it. I'll be expecting a message when you get famous, okay? ;)

To all my readers, be you a favouriter, a follower, a reviewer, or a silent reader: I love you all. So, so much. You have given me so much confidence. I hate that I'm keeping this huge part of my life a secret for now. Hopefully, soon that won't be the case. I love you all and I want the world to know. This community has done so much for me, and I am bowled over by just how much love is floating about in the fandom. I have had at least one view of this story every day since 27th August. Yes, that includes this hiatus. I'm only sorry that it was so long, but thank you so much for continuing to read and, hopefully, enjoy my writing. I love you so, so much.

This is likely to be the last chapter that I do my hugely long A/N and extended thankyous, if my blog catches on. I feel that people can be bored by the block bold text.

So. My blog is now fully functioning. I have my menus set up at the top, and you can see many of the names mentioned here also, under my friends menu. Please check them out (and to quote the Mr Amazing, aka owner of my heart, "Check me out…? Well that's suggestive." Anyway...)

T&C will be returning again next week. You can count on that. I've even already written the chapter!

Thank you all for sticking with this. It means the world.

-* Don't forget to check out luspeak. wordpress. com for updates, deleted chapters and spin-offs! *-

Let's do this again :) If you reached here, tell me your favourite colour in a review.