I read it a second time, mainly because I was speechless too. I expect angels like Cas to be able to see inside a person's soul, but not a Shaman I'd only met once. I mean, I knew he'd checked out my Warrior Spirit and all that but I never really put much thought into what he had seen beyond the hellhound's marker and that Sam and I were completely screwed up. Everything he said was dead on, not only about me but about her and hunting. We'd talked about it years ago, when hunting was a lot less complicated. We both felt the same way, there's something to be said about living between the cracks of society, off the grid and doing whatever the hell you like. Especially when you're in your twenties and feeling like the world is just waiting for you to do some crazy ass amazing thing. Back then we both got off a lot on the hunt, the adrenaline rush, the feeling of skating past Death one more time and taking out something that few people even knew existed.

A decade or so later, more fights than most people would survive and way too many trips to the after life and back I'd lost a lot of that dumb ass courage. She'd gained her own scars and had taken on a whole new realm of responsibilities while sharing some of mine. A lot had changed but Rising Dove had nailed the one thing that hadn't, how we felt about each other. Cougar's issues with me made a lot more sense, I didn't quite understand all that was involved with being Shaman before now, I'd only ever been responsible for one person, never a whole tribe, and I'd sacrificed everything for him, repeatedly. I wouldn't exactly say that Sam made my Spirit sing but for most of my life he'd been the reason I got out of bed in the morning, the reason I fought so hard, hell, the reason I existed. I never saw him as something that held me back and I know that Coyote really didn't feel that her tribe held her back but, fact was, she was leaving because of me.

If I was just some hunter she was friends with, I know for damn sure she wouldn't be doing this. She'd admitted it to me, but I don't think the true extent of what that meant had hit her. It sure as hell hadn't hit me. I needed to track her down. I set the letter on the table, grabbed some bottles of water and followed her. It wasn't exactly cool outside and between the crying and the pace she'd set if she went too far she was going to need some water at some point. I knew the rough location of some of her spots she tended to go to to think, I just hope she didn't head to her cave. She'd told me about it, I'd never been there but I knew it was a decent hike to get to and she'd usually overnight when she went to it.

Fortunately she'd slowed down by the time I cleared the backyard. I followed along behind her, I didn't talk, I just kept an eye on her. The farther she went, the longer it took her to cover any ground. Her steps grew shakier and I heard her sobs. As much as I wanted to hold her something told me she wasn't ready for that yet. She finally came to a stop and slowly dropped to the ground under a scrubby tree. I joined her, handed her a bottle of water and sat next to her. She'd talk when she was ready. I'd downed about half of my bottle before she said anything.

"Did you read it?"

"Yeah, hope you don't mind."

She shook her head, roughly wiped tears off her cheeks and took a few shaky breaths, "I forgot how accurate he could be."

"I never knew. You think you'll ever be like that?"

A shudder ran through her, "Not sure if I ever want to be. What I see now is bad enough already."

"I can't really imagine what that's like."

"I wish there was a way I could explain it." She was staring aimlessly at her bottle, rubbing the bits of moisture off the side.

"Hey."

She looked at me, I lifted my arm up and slid closer to her. As soon as I got close enough she leaned into me and I put my arm around her shoulders.

"Cougar was right, years ago, when we fought. He knew it, I guess I knew it too, which is why it pissed me off so much. I guess I felt that he was condemning me for loving you. He wasn't, he was just being honest."

"Speaking from experience, honesty can be a lot harder to deal with than people condemning you."

She nestled her head tighter against my chest, "I don't like to think I'm the kind of person that uses others to hide, to run from something, but..."

"Honey listen, running and hiding when you're hurting is something everyone does. Guilt was ripping you to shreds, I know how that feels. You made a much better choice than I did, you threw yourself into helping others, I let mine nearly kill me. Rising Dove knew you needed a place and time to heal, he helped you run and hide, he admitted it, but let's be honest. You weren't hiding, you were healing, dealing. Me, I was hiding. Know how I know the difference?" I felt her head move in a small shake. "Because of how we came out on the other side of it. You're healthier, saner, more stable because of what you chose to do, look at me. I'm less of a wreck now than a year ago, sure, but not by much. You did not use your tribe to further yourself, you allowed people who care about you to help you. Huge difference between the two."

"But now? What do I do? Go in there and tell them thanks for the help but I don't need you anymore?"

I put my other hand under her chin and raised her face to look at me, "C'mon, even I know that's not what you're doing. You're not packing your shit and moving away. I don't think either of us want to give up that comfy ass bed we have for hotel rooms full time again."

She contemplated that for about two seconds, "Good point."

I'd managed to lighten the mood a bit, but it didn't last long. "I'm not about to tell you how to handle this," I said, "I can't give any decent advice because I have no idea what I would do in your place. I know how much you fought to get people to respect you as Shaman, to trust you, to believe in you. I have to help Sam though. If Gordon is actually involved in this shit, Sam's got a target on his back again and I won't sit something like that out. I don't want to cause more issues for you, so if you want to stay here and lead your people you know I'll be fine with that."

"I know."

Her eyes left mine and I let her lean against my chest again. I didn't push her, just ran my hand lightly over her hair and watched the leaves of the plants around us shift in the wind. I had no idea what she'd choose or really what her options were. I doubted she'd get exiled or anything like that but this was one of those situations where no one was really right or wrong and those are never easy. I'd guess about twenty minutes went by before she sat up. "Got a plan?"

"Yes. I need to go home and get dressed."

"Should I change?" I was in an old, beat to hell, oil stained t-shirt and jeans that had hit that stage of so comfy they were close to falling apart.

She stood up, took a long look at me and was totally serious when she replied, "There's a part of me that really, really wants you to show up like that, because it would piss certain people off but let's play it safe and go with less holes and oil stains."

I took hold of the hand she'd reached out to help me up with and stood up, "Hmm, if we're going for impact of some kind or other I could always go with the Fed threads."

"Hell no, those fit you like crap. You look like a badly paid mortician."

We started walking back to the house, "Hey!"

"Go with the clothes I bought you."

"Only if you promise not to molest me in public," I wanted to try to get some sort of smile out of her before we went to this meeting. Fortunately that did it.

"Things I never expected to hear out of your mouth. You telling me not to molest you."

I got all serious and proper sounding, "Well, I've been trying to be an upstanding citizen these days. Making out in the middle of the street sort of runs counter to that."

She smirked, "Uh huh, sure."

We got back to the house and that bit of humor faded. I rummaged through the closet and found my clothes, she'd gone into her room to get clothes, which meant the next time I saw her she'd be full Native as she called it. I was kind of hoping she'd give me a heads up on what her plan was since I was going to be there, but I wasn't really expecting it.

Sure enough, when she came out she was in the same clothes she'd worn when hunting Leaping Deer. It wasn't her full on ceremonial attire but it still made an impact. The fact that she left her hair down made it contrast even more with the white background and bold stripes of color. She was all business, but I couldn't quite tell if I was seeing the Shaman, the hunter or a version of her that was somewhere in between.

She gave me a quick once over, nodded in approval and walked down the stairs, I followed. She picked up Rising Dove's letter, put it back in the envelope and slid it into her pocket. "When we get there, stay near the back of the room. Don't give the impression that this is something you're making me do."

"Got it." With that we got in her car and drove to the meeting.

I've never been all that great with political games and manuevering, at least until I spent time with Crowley, that was all he did. It always struck me as odd that the King of Hell ruled more through threats, games and manipulation than through sheer force. When I first went to Hell, that wasn't the impression I got at all. I don't know when the regime had changed or who had ruled before him but Abaddon and Alastair had seemed a lot more kill first, ask for loyalty later kind of demons than Crowley. Either way, watching him play Abaddon loyalists against each other and rule his territory had taught me a few things about appearances and the different ways power can be wielded. Since moving in I'd watched Coyote wrangle different factions together to get some serious projects accomplished and I knew roughly where everyone stood which would help. I just had to hold my temper in check and follow her lead. Hopefully she knew what she was doing.

There weren't a lot of cars there. "This not going to be a full meeting?" I asked.

"No, just the council. They'll fill in everyone else later." Another car pulled up, one neither of us wanted to see.

"Uh, he's not on the Council if I remember right."

"No, he's not, but he is friends with Gray Wolf, who is."

"Great," I'd somehow managed to not kill or respond to Dancing Badger so far. He'd tried to push me to, that's for damn sure. He'd never gotten over how she kicked his ass years ago. "Maybe I shouldn't have worn the nice clothes."

Her lips curled in disgust, "Blood washes out. Let's go."

I'd wrapped my hands up with gauze and Ace bandages before we left, no reason to let people see how jacked up my knuckles were but it would give people like Badger the wrong impression. I saw it as soon as I got of the car and he spotted the bandages, he thought I was somehow too damaged to fight. Idiot. I ignored him and walked a half pace behind her as we went inside. That didn't go unnoticed by the council when we passed through the door. Some of them, the ones that didn't have issues with me, caught the fact that I was showing her the proper respect. The ones who had issues with me, well they jumped right past that and to the heart of things.

"Why is he here? He is not Lakota." Gray Wolf apparently wanted to get straight into dick mode from the get go.

The council was made up of seven people. They voted on tribal stuff, organized and ran things, Coyote, as Shaman was the default leader. She happened to be one of the youngest Shamans to do so. She was also the first college educated woman who'd spent most of her early adulthood off the Reservation to have that title as well. The only thing that had kept the majority of the council from out and out rejecting her was Rising Dove's approval of her and his final wish being that she should follow in his footsteps. A lot of them had wanted Cougar or Gray Wolf. Cougar may have been the same age as Coyote but he'd never left, had grown up studying with Rising Dove and was very dedicated to his people. Gray Wolf was liked in, what Coyote called, the blind fools circles. He'd fought her on every damn thing and his corner of the tribe tended to be assholes. We were all meeting in a small room in the back of the tribe's town hall. There was about four rows of ten chairs each facing seven chairs that were placed around a large conference table. The room was pretty sparse, it had thin carpet on top of cemet floors, boring brown walls and flourscent lighting. Dancing Badger had come in through the side door and was sitting at the end of the first row.

Cougar was on the council, along with a few people who I never really talked to. Then there was Fox Who Sings, who Sam and I had saved from demons and Hunting Bat, the oldest member of the tribe. She was pushing ninety, looked seventy and was probably healthier than I was. For some reason when I looked at her, that was how I pictured Coyote as she aged. Even though she was shorter than Coyote and her hair was very non traditionally short she had the same couldn't give a shit attitude about things. She said it was because at her age there wasn't anything anyone could say or do that would shock her anymore. I could never call her Bat because I just associated that with someone being bat-shit insane, which had cracked her up when I told her. Most people called her Grandma Bat, I just used her full name or ma'am. For some reason she said me calling her ma'am made her feel older than people calling her Grandma. I'd done some work around her house, fixed her cars and drank more than a few beers on her porch. Usually the more she drank the more she flirted with me, but it never creeped me out because it was all in good fun.

"Well," Hunting Bat said, "Guess you can skip the eye doctor this year Gray Wolf, you can still tell the difference between a white man and a Lakota. Congratulations." She gave me a quick wink and a smirk, I had to fight to keep myself from laughing. I noticed Coyote's shoulders shaking for a second before she got herself back under control though. Hunting Bat and Gray Wolf weren't exactly the best of friends.

Gray Wolf shot her a glare, huffed and then kept going, "This is tribal business, he's not part of the tribe. That was my point."

I stopped once I got inside and leaned against the back wall, Coyote went straight to Hunting Bat and handed her the letter. "You are correct Gray Wolf," she said, "He's not part of the tribe but this has to do with him as well as I so I asked him here."

That wasn't exactly accurate but I wasn't going to point that out.

"Grandmother, please read this. Cougar gave this to me today, it is from Rising Dove. You knew my teacher when he was a child, I wish you to verify this is from him."

That shut Gray Wolf up and drew shocked stares from the rest of the council. Cougar actually looked mad, which was a huge red flag. He obviously felt that letter should be for her eyes only and I couldn't really blame him. I had no idea what game she was playing here. Hunting Bat solemnly took the letter, read it and gave me one the most calculating stares I'd ever been subjected to. I wasn't sure what she was looking at or for but after a long minute her eyes left me and centered on Coyote.

She handed the letter back and nodded, "This is indeed his handwriting and his tone. I would have to say it is from him. Are you going to let the others read it?"

Coyote shook her head and put the letter back in her pocket, "I don't seek council from them, I seek it from you."

Hunting Bat's eyes widened for a quick second and then she seemed to grasp whatever it was Coyote was trying to do. "The contents of the letter. Are they accurate?"

"Yes," Coyote didn't even hesitate.

"Then what is your answer to the question he posed at the end of it?"

Coyote stepped back, swept her eyes across the entirety of the council, then turned and looked at me. "That I wish to be free again. I wish to help, not lead, to choose how I use my gifts and who I use them for."

Every single one of them, except for Cougar and Hunting Bat started talking all at once. I watched Cougar, I didn't care about the rest. He'd been taken completely off guard but he recovered fast. The anger left and was replaced by something close to sorrow, it came and went so quick I wasn't too sure if the sorrow was because she was throwing herself back into the line of fire or because he felt she was, once again, throwing her skills away.

"What the hell is going on?" Gray Wolf shouted over the top of everyone else.

Hunting Bat held her hand up, they all quieted down. "Shaman Running Coyote, do you wish to step down as head of this council?"

"Yes."

Seven sets of eyes were riveted on her, and about four of those sets were pretty damn angry.

"I understand that you may not want to go into expansive detail as to why," Hunting Bat continued, "But the council and the people you have served deserve some sort of explanation. Many traditions were set aside to fulfill Rising Dove's wishes."

"I am well aware of that and I thank those who stood by me." She shifted so she was standing directly in front of the middle of the table, her back was to Badger and I. "The men and women who have helped us with the truck stop, they are facing a threat that I feel compelled to help them fight. This means that I have to leave for an unknown length of time and may not return, not because I don't want to but because I will be unable to. I cannot, in good conscience, leave the tribe leaderless if that were to occur. The threat is not a direct threat to the tribe, although if we lose the people the progress of that project will come to a halt. I feel that there are others here that can lead more consistently than I can. If I were to suggest anyone it would be Cougar Kills Bear. He is dedicated to this tribe in ways that I am not, he studied under Rising Dove and has helped me. He knows more herblore and rituals than I do or have a desire to learn. True, he does not have the connection to the Spirits that I do but when, if, I return I will be able to guide him using what the Spirits tell me. That is all I wish to say."

These days my adrenaline doesn't start pumping unless I'm facing something along the lines of Cain. It takes a lot to amp me up but how friggin quick she'd turned this whole thing around on everyone, including Cougar, had managed to rachet up the tension in the room in record time. Thing was, she'd set all of them back on their heels, it was damn impressive that she'd outmaneuvered an entire council like that. She'd of been an amazing leader. Before I had much of a chance to appreciate that all those eyes that had been staring at her started staring at me. This was about to get messy.