So, I probably won't be able to update until monday evening because I'm going to my great grandma's house and she doesn't have wifi, I know, I don't know how she lives! lol, anyway thanks for reading this and reviewing it. Sorry for any grammer mistakes.
Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games!
Peeta's POV
When Katniss woke me up telling me to take Briar away to safety, I couldn't leave her. That's not what a good dad and husband does. The dad and husband's job is to protect his wife and daughter. I objected to Katniss, but before she could respond, a fire torch was thrown through the window. We were trapped.
"Peeta?" Katniss says, I look over at her, she's holding Briar close to her chest. Briar's quiet cries turn into loud sobs, I always hated seeing Katniss cry or in pain, but I hated it when it was my own daughter. The pain I felt was insane. I look around wondering what we could use to get us out of the cabin that is no engulfed in flames. It's not like we have a handy dandy fire extinguisher on the walls.
"Katniss, get the blankets from the bed." I try to say as calmly as possible. She quickly grabs the blankets, on a small wooden table lies the water we were given to drink is, there isn't much water, but I manage to get most of the blankets covered in water. I wrap the now wet blanket around Katniss and I. "Hold Briar as close as you can to you." I say, I wrap my arms around Katniss and Briar while holding up the blankets around us. "Lets go before the flames get too high."
"Wait, Peeta. We can't walk through fire, we'll burn to death." I turn and look at Katniss' face, she truly was scared.
"Do you trust me?" I ask her.
"With all of my heart." She replies instantly, I see a tear in the corner of her eye threatening to come out.
"You have to trust me then." I tell her and tuck a lose strand of hair behind her ear. She nods and I wrap my arms tighter around her and Briar. "Come on." I take a few steps towards the entrance that the fire guards. Briar starts to cough and cough.
"Peeta we have to get her out of here, she can't keep breathing with this smoke. It will kill her." Katniss says worry filled in her voice.
I don't reply but I guide the both of them through the flames and out the door into the safety of the woods. We walk farther and farther away from the cabin knowing that someone, maybe a peacekeeper will walk by there looking for us. Briar's coughing has slowed down some, but it is worrying me that she keeps coughing consistently. "Katniss, I think we can stop now. It's safe."
Katniss nods and we make the ground bearable to sleep on during the night. Briar's coughing slowed down, but we still kept a watchful eye over her. "Katniss, you sleep. I'll stay up." I tell her.
Katniss closes her eyes and shifts. She tries almost every position to get comfortable, but I can tell nothing is working for her.
"Peeta, I can't do that. It feels like we're in the Games again. The forest and the fire. It's too much like our Games. Peeta we can't go to sleep. We have Briar now. We need to protect her first, then each other, and then ourselves." She says, I look into her eyes and see nothing but worry in her eyes. I lean down to give her a kiss. I can feel her relax a little, but she's still really tense. So it was settled that none of us was permitted to sleep besides Briar, who depended on us to keep her safe.
We lean against a tree trunk, Briar is sleeping against Katniss' chest, I have my arm around Katniss who rests on my chest. I look down at Briar and Katniss and think how lucky I really am. Even though we both have been through more than several people do in their entire lifetime and we're only 17 years old. The simple quote 'may the odds be ever in your favor', I never thought the odds were in my favor, being reaped for the Games and having to go back into the arena for a second time to fight for Katniss' life, my life, and Briar who we didn't even knew existed at the time. But now that I look back at it, the odds were always in my favor. There is no way that I could have survived two Hunger Games, have the girl that I have been in love with since I was five, and even have a daughter with her. The odds have always been in our favor...but for how much longer?
"Peeta?" Katniss' voice takes me out of my thinking. "What were you thinking about?" She asks out of curiosity.
I sigh, "I look at back over these past few years, and I realize now that the odds we're always in our favor. Even though at times we didn't think they were. But they are because we wouldn't have been able to survive all we have and not be dead."
Katniss nods and then looks down at Briar. "I know what you mean. I never wanted kids, I never wanted to fall in love, and I never wanted to get married. But I look back at it now and realize that I would never give you or Briar up. My life is perfect, just forget our situation right now." She shifts a little to a more comfortable position trying not wake up sleeping Briar.
"I love you Katniss." I say and kissing her head.
"I love you too Peeta. And I mean it. And I'm so sorry on how rude I was after we got back from the Games, and I'll never forgive myself on some of the things I did to you and some of the stuff Haymitch and I kept from you. It wasn't right. Or fair of me. Especially when it was also your life and families' life as well." She tells me. I look into her eyes and can see on how guilty see feels.
I open my mouth to respond, but a noise stops me. It sounded like a twig breaking. I jerk up preparing to attack whoever threatens us. It sounded like a twig snapping, it's probably just some animal roaming around, but I don't want to take any chances. "Let's start walking back to the district. I'm sure the capitol planes and bombings are done." I say. Katniss agrees and I give her hand up. She holds Briar close to her chest.
"Let me hold her." I tell Katniss who has been holding her this whole time.
"Okay, but tell me if you need me to hold her." She tells me and hands her over. During the hand off, Briar woke up.
"Dada?" She asks.
"Yes sweetheart?" I say holding her close, she's ice cold.
"I'm cold." She says in her baby voice, barely audible.
"Do you want my jacket?" I ask her, she nods and I wrap it around her. She lays her head against my chest, if she's anything like Katniss, she's listening to my heartbeat. Katniss always told me that after she has a nightmare, it always calms her down to hear my heartbeat just to have proof that I really am alive. "I love you Briar." I tell her. Katniss and I often tell Briar we love her because it was something our parents do very often. We knew they loved it, they just didn't say it.
"Wuv you too." She says back. Katniss smiles and wraps one of her hands around me.
I step on several leaves and tree branches making a loud noise. Katniss cringes every time and every little noise I make. I still don't get how she can move so swiftly through the forest, she's just like Foxface in a way. "Hopefully no one is following us because you'd give us away." Katniss says half jokingly.
"That is why I stayed by the river bank instead of the woods." I say in my defense.
Katniss chuckles, "I think there are a lot more reasons why you stayed at the river bank than that." She reaches up and kisses my check.
"Ewww Mama." Briar says. We both laugh at this.
"Ewww Briar." She says back. Briar giggles and scrunches her face up, something I would always do as a kid according to my dad.
We hear dogs barking, those could easily be mutts. "Let's hurry up." Katniss suggests with a hint of urgency in her voice.
I nod, "Briar, we need you to be super quiet." I tell her. She nods, I forget that Briar is only nine months old, she seams like she could be one year old.
"Katniss, are you sure we're going the right way?" I ask her, it's pitch black outside, it really is like our first Games, where we are right now feels like the arena we were in. The only light we have is the moonlight and that doesn't help much. I can see why sleeping is freaking Katniss out so much.
"I don't know." She says honestly. "It's dangerous being in the woods at night, even back home Gale and I always made sure we were home by dark. They say you can be going in circles without even knowing it."
"Do you think we're going in circles?" I ask her.
"I don't know." She says plainly. We don't talk anymore until we can faintly see light fire everywhere. I'm assuming we're back in District 2.
Katniss' POV
Peeta, Briar, and I walk through the woods trying to find our way back to District 2. We see light flames, I assume we are back into the district. As we get closer, a certain stench fills the air, I haven't smelled this since the last mine explosion. Dead bodies everywhere. The sight is awful. You can see dead bodies of men and women. And even children...and some babies. And I can't help but think that this is all of my fault. If I didn't pull out those damn berries and just killed myself we wouldn't be in this mess. Or if I left Peeta to die...No I can't think like that. I love Peeta, he's the love of my life and he has given me an amazing, flawless daughter.
We don't see any peacekeepers around, plus there is shelter that we can use for the night. We cautiously walk back more into sight. Leaving the protection the forest has to offer. As we walk along to the shelter, I can see all of the dead bodies more distinctively. Thankfully I didn't know any of them personally, if I did, I probably would have lost the little sanity I have left. I didn't know them, but I can't help but feel for them.
We walk to the shelter, "We can spend the night in the hospital." Peeta says, I nod.
"I don't remember the hospital being here." I say rubbing my arms trying to keep warm. The temperature has dropped dramatically... another thing that reminds me of our first Games. Peeta opens the flab. I can't see much of what is inside, but it's empty. "Peeta, this isn't the hospital." I say with worry in my voice.
"They must have bombed that building." Peeta says softly, letting the news sink in.
"Why would they do that? Why would the bomb the hospitals? Where all of the poor innocent and injured people were." I say with tears rolling down my checks. So that means all of those patients we visited were most likely dead. And that beautiful girl with dirty blonde hair is dead...
"They want to break you, Katniss. And Snow knows that if he kills off innocent people, you'll suffer from it and let it get to you. He knows you think everything is your fault." Peeta says, he's right. The capitol wants me to break down and see the fall out.
"If the capitol wants me to be broken, then I guess I'll have to be whole." I tell Peeta, "I'll have to be whole." I repeat to myself.
"Lets get some sleep." Peeta says and kisses my check.
We find an air mattress that is already blown up and the three of us sleep on that. Briar wakes up first wanting to be fed. I pull up my shirt and breastfeed her, I look at her and notice how much she really does look like me. I've seen a few baby pictures of me before, and they look exactly like her. Minus her blue eyes. Briar is an exact mix of a poor seam person having the traits of olive skin and brown hair. But also having the traits of a richer town person with the unforgettable blue eyes.
Briar is getting really big, she has been trying to walk, but every time she manages to stand up she falls right back on her butt. I giggle at the memory of Briar standing up on her first time but as she tries to walk, she falls right on her butt and starts to cry. When she finishes I burp her. She tries to tell me a story, but I can only recognize a few words. I wonder if the rebels are out here in District 2, I hope they aren't where that cabin is, or used to be. Even though we were given strict instructions on staying in that cabin, I hope they realized we wouldn't listen to that, especially now because we had a reason.
I stare at Peeta while he sleeps and decide to wake him up by kissing him. He groans when I wake him up, but his eyes light back up when he sees Briar. "Do you think we should stay here and wait for people to find us? Or should we look for them ourselves?" I ask Peeta.
"I don't know whatever you want." He says, tiredness controlling his voice.
"Well, we at least need some food. I'm starving." I tell him.
"I think I remember seeing some berries not far from here before the bombings. It might still be there." He says I nod and follow him outside of the tent, and down the path where Peeta says he saw the berries. Briar insists on her walking while holding my hand, I can't say no, so I nod and watch her trip while trying to walk.
We find the berry bush, I close my eyes and think back to the plant book my father made and try to remember these berries, I'm pretty sure they are blueberries, but they look a lot like nightlock. I look at Peeta and he is putting it up to his mouth to eat. We're both about to commit a double suicide. Trying to define the capitol after they changed the rules making only one victor. Peeta raises his hand containing the berries to his mouth.
"Together?" Peeta asks,
"Together." I say confirming our decision. "One." I say, only a few more seconds left before I die. What about Gale? What did he think about this? And Prim, who now has to watch me kill myself on live t.v. I wonder what Peeta's family feels right now. His mom probably doesn't even care.
"Two." Peeta says and strokes the end of my braid, we still have time to change our minds...
"Three." We both lift our hands filled with the deadly berries to our mouths.
"No, wait Peeta! You can't eat them." I say and swat the berries out of his hands.
"Katniss, why did you do that?" He questions with a hint of anger and frustration in his voice.
"I don't know." I say, not mentioning the Games in front of Briar. I walk away, going to find some peace and rethink this whole thing. I swear I'm going crazy, it's not the first time. I'm sure the whole nation of Panem thinks I'm crazy. And right now, I gaurentee that Peeta thinks I have officially lost it. I think back to when I have that 'mentally disoriented' wristband on my wrist.
"Mommy." I hear Briar's voice. I want to go back to her, but my feet don't allow me too. I keep walking past by all of the dead bodies. "Mommy." She says a little louder thinking I didn't hear her the first time.
I keep walking down a dirt trail. "I killed you." I point to a random dead body, "And you. And you. And you. And you. And you. And you. I KILLED ALL OF YOU. I'M SO SORRY. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME, NOT YOU. BUT DON'T WORRY, I WANT TO DIE, It'S NOT LIKE I HAVE ANYTHING TO LIVE FOR BESIDES A FEW THINGS." I scream. I think back to now where I need that 'mentally disoriented' bracelet back on.
I sit down on a dirt pile free from any decomposing bodies. I feel a small grip tighten on my back. "Momma." It says, I instantly know it's Briar. "Wuv you." She says.
I smile, at least I know her, Peeta, and Prim will always love me. And maybe even Gale? "I love you too baby." I tell her.
I feel another grip around me from behind, but this one is tighter and stronger. "Hey." Peeta says.
I shake my head. Peeta walks around so he's facing me. "I really need that 'mentally disoriented' bracelet back on." I tell him.
"Katniss, if this is about the berries, it's fine really. I'm sorry I over reacted." Peeta admits.
I shake my head, I hate it when Peeta apologizes when he didn't do anything wrong. "It was us in the Games Peeta." I admit, not caring that Briar can hear us. "We were about to eat those nightlock berries and those were the only images I could see. I can't lose you Peeta."
"It's okay Katniss." Peeta says and brings me into a tight hug.
"There you guys are." I hear an unfamiliar voice in the distance say. I pull away from Peeta's hug and see a guard running towards us. "When they sat the cabin on fire, we were really worried. We thought you died in there. But we couldn't find the bodies and figured you must have escaped." He says. "We have a hovercraft waiting to take you guys back to 13."
"Okay, thank you." Peeta says.
I pick up Briar but she protests. "No mommy." She says and crosses her arms. "I wanna walk."
Peeta laughs and I shot him a dirty look. "I think I know where she got that stubbornness from." He says.
I let Briar walk a little, but then she insists on me carrying her, since it was too long of a walk. When we arrived back in 13, Coin wanted us to see us once again in her office? What the hell could this woman want?